Beyond the Night
by L.A. Doyle
Summary: When a mission goes wrong, Sam is forced to make a choice. The consequences are more far-reaching than she or her team could have ever imagined. In the hands of a merciless Goa'uld, Sam struggles to survive, but is it a fight she can win? S/J, Teamfic
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I don't own any of it.

Spoilers: Anything's up for grabs. The story takes off in mid season seven.

Pairing: Jack/Sam

Summary: When a routine mission goes wrong, Sam is forced to make a choice. The consequences of her decision are more far-reaching than she or her team could have ever imagined. In the hands of a merciless Goa'uld, Sam struggles to survive, her team unable to do anything but watch. Is it a fight she can win?

A/N: This story can be categorized as many things, but there is quite a healthy dose of angst. I tend to live in the cavern! Of course, it is J/S, but there are a lot of team moments as well. There's also a _non-permanent_ major character death.

I began this story with the idea that I wanted to do a character study of sorts. To put the team in situations that we've never seen them in before, push them to the edge, and see the fallout of those situations. To take a deeper look at their relationships. Ultimately, like the quote below, this is a story about love, in all its forms.

I have posted the prologue and first chapter, and will update regularly. The story is complete…it only took 4.5 years! Real life and lack of inspiration have thwarted my attempts to finish this fic, but it is also a long one...so enjoy!

Also, I don't claim to be all knowing, and while I did try my best to research certain topics, there may be mistakes. I apologize ahead of time!

Special thanks to Kat Spencer; you are awesome! And to Hannah-I miss our chats!

This is a story about darkness and light, about sorrow and joy, about something lost and something found. This is a story about love.

-Cynthia Rylant

**Beyond The Night**

~Prologue~

Family

Major General George Hammond looked at the team around his table. They never ceased to amaze him. He shook his head with a slight smile. "SG-1, you're lucky you made it out of there without a scratch."

"Ah, well, sir…it's what we do," Colonel Jack O'Neill replied, leaning back in his chair, triumphant smile on his face.

"Good work. I'd say after this mission, you deserve some downtime. Get some rest, people. Dismissed." The general stood up, as did Jack and his second in command, Major Samantha Carter. Teal'c bowed his head, and Dr. Daniel Jackson grinned as Hammond made his exit.

"So!" Jack started, slapping his hands together and rubbing them in anticipation. "How about-"

"No!" came three firm replies.

"What?" the colonel asked innocently as he pushed his chair underneath the table.

"No fishing, Jack," Daniel said, crossing his arms.

"I wasn't going to ask. I was thinking about, I don't know…a movie night? Team night of sorts?" Jack looked hopefully at his teammates…the blonde astrophysicist, the bespectacled archaeologist, and the Jaffa warrior. "Come on, we never get to hang out."

"Well, I guess."

"Um, okay."

"Indeed."

"Sweet," Jack beamed. "Meet you topside in forty-five?"

"Okay, Jack."

"Yes, sir."

"Indeed."

Teal'c followed his team out of the room. On Chulak, warriors rarely spent time together unless they were training or fighting. However, after seven years, Teal'c had become familiar with many Earth customs, the rare team gathering being one of his favorites. He found himself wanting to spend time with his Tau'ri friends. He enjoyed seeing O'Neill and Major Carter more relaxed and thought it quite humorous when, on occasion, Daniel became inebriated. What he found odd most of all was that after spending the last few days on a dangerous assignment, SG-1 wanted nothing more than to spend the evening together. It was as if they found comfort in each other, needing the others to be there, especially after a difficult mission. No one ever voiced this; it was unspoken, but they all knew of its existence. Teal'c had found friends he could consider family, and in the most unlikely of places.

o-O-o

Sam grinned as she headed for the surface. She had to admit, she was glad they were having a team night. These gatherings didn't happen as often as they should, what with work and all. They would spend a great deal of time together on base, but hardly ever at each other's homes.

Though they saw each other every day, SG-1 didn't drive each other mad, at least on most days. They were one another's best friends. There was no one else who _could_ make suitable best friends. No one else they could discuss work with, make a joke about a certain system lord with, or share their pain with. After seven years together, the four members of SG-1 were not only a team, they were a family.

o-O-o

Daniel rushed out of his lab. He was running late, and Jack wouldn't be happy. Some things never changed.

He remembered almost everything from before his ascension. At that time, Daniel had thought he was ready to move on, that his work on Earth wasn't doing anyone any good. Now he was ready to resume his duties with SG-1. It was an important job, one that could make a difference.

Fitting in with the team after a year's absence wasn't as difficult as Daniel had thought it would be. There were a few bumps in the road, but things fell into place quickly. Jack, Sam, and Teal'c accepted him like a long lost brother, which, in retrospect, was exactly what he was to them…to his family.

o-O-o

Jack sat on his tailgate, waiting for his team. First came Teal'c, his brother in arms. Teal'c was rock-strong, reassuring, and a source of strength for the team. With a slight grin and a Colorado Rockies hat, Teal'c joined Jack at his truck.

Next came Sam. Jack smiled and waved her over. She flashed a grin back at him and headed his way. Although he would admit it to no one, Jack loved to see Sam in civvies. Not that she didn't look nice in BDUs, but they didn't quite hug her form like this outfit did. Shaking his head, Jack tried to think of other, more appropriate things.

"You okay, sir?" Sam asked, standing next to him.

"Yeah, fine. Hey, Daniel!" Jack yelled, glad for his friend's well-timed appearance.

"Sorry I'm late!" Daniel apologized, looking at his watch.

"No, no, no! You're right on time," Jack replied. "Have a seat," he said, gesturing to his tailgate. Sam took a seat next to Teal'c, and Daniel next to her.

Jack had to smile of the sight of them all in a row, legs swinging off his truck like a bunch of school kids. What an odd group they were…an old, beat up, cynical USAF colonel, a former First Prime, a brilliant Air Force major, and a geeky doctor of archaeology. Never in a million years would Jack have believed that an alien and two scientists would make up his team, the flagship team of a covert operation. A team that had saved the world countless times, in a myriad of ways.

SG-1 had become, in a sense, Jack's family. They were all he had in this world, and in his opinion, you couldn't get much better.

o-O-o

They had opted for a team night at Sam's, but not until after a bite to eat at O'Malley's. As they waited for their food to arrive, they sipped cold beers, save Teal'c, who drank ginger ale.

"I so deserve this," Jack muttered, pressing the cold bottle against his head before taking a swig.

"We all do, sir. It's been a pretty rough few days," Sam replied.

"But hey, even Danny Boy made it out without incident," Jack grinned at the younger man.

"Yes, Jack. I am capable of not being a total klutz."

"Indeed you are, Daniel Jackson. You have become quite a skilled warrior. I am proud to serve by your side," Teal'c told Daniel, bowing his head slightly.

"Thank you, Teal'c. At least someone appreciates me."

"Oh, come on, Daniel. You know we appreciate you!" Sam reassured him, putting a hand lightly on his arm. "The colonel just likes to tease you."

"Some things never change, huh?" the archaeologist shrugged.

"Nope. I had some good times with Jonas, but really, it wasn't the same without you, Daniel."

Daniel nodded, a look of contentment gracing his features. He knew Jack's teasing was, for the most part, harmless. Daniel wouldn't feel quite at home without it.

"Dinner's here!" the waitress announced cheerfully, arriving with a tray full of food.

"Thank God! I'm starving!" Sam exclaimed as a plate filled with a burger and fries was laid before her. It looked delicious_._ The food the last few days had definitely been lacking.

"Hungry, are we Carter?"

"Yes, sir," Sam answered, her mouth watering as she picked up the burger.

"Apparently not as hungry as Teal'c," Daniel commented, amused.

"T, buddy, that's got to be the biggest steak I've ever seen!" Jack told his friend, eyes wide.

"That may very well be, O'Neill, but I am extremely hungry." Without another word, Teal'c began to eat his steak, oblivious to the stares of his teammates.

As the night wore on and meals were consumed, SG-1 talked contentedly with each other. They chatted about mundane things such as the weather and sports, as well as work, since their lives really did revolve around that. Teal'c even attempted a joke, though it was about Lord Yu, and that really had been done to death.

"Dessert anyone?" the waitress asked as she cleared the empty plates from the table. Glances passed between the members of SG-1. The waitress looked at them expectantly.

"Yeah…we'll have the Death By Chocolate. One serving, four spoons please," Jack smiled.

"Coming right up."

"Thanks. So, what's next on the agenda?" Jack wondered.

"I guess we head to my place," Sam suggested.

"Do you have snacks?"

"Sir, we're about to stuff ourselves full of chocolate. You can't seriously-"

"Ah! Carter! We always need snacks. I'm gonna get hungry when we're up at 3 a.m. watching movies-"

"Star Wars!" Teal'c interrupted, a little too cheerfully for Jack's liking. He sent a glare in the Jaffa's direction.

"Uh, Teal'c, didn't you and I watch Star Wars not too long ago?" Daniel asked.

"Indeed, Daniel Jackson, upon your return. O'Neill and Major Carter did not. Perhaps they wish to view it tonight."

"Teal'c, you know what? How about we go to the movie store and see what there is? If we can't find anything else, we'll watch Star Wars," Sam offered. She knew Jack didn't want to see Star Wars. She wouldn't mind seeing something new herself.

Teal'c nodded in agreement. "Very well, Major Carter."

"So dessert, movie store, Sam's?" Daniel inquired.

"We'll need snacks..." Jack reminded him.

"Fine. Dessert, movies, snacks, and then Sam's."

It was then that the dessert arrived. The attack was strategic-Daniel went for the chocolate ice cream, Teal'c the brownie, Sam the fudge, and Jack the chocolate whipped cream. All was well until Jack and Sam both made a stab for the cherry. As their utensils hovered over the red fruit, Jack and Sam's eyes locked.

"Carter…"

"Sir, I believe you got the cherry last time."

"I don't think so."

"Yes, I think you did."

"Carter, I clearly remember you eating the cherry!"

Daniel snickered at his teammates. For two high-ranking military officers who had saved the world on numerous occasions, they were sure acting like children.

Teal'c raised his eyebrow in amusement. "O'Neill, Major Carter, it was I who consumed the cherry during our last outing to O'Malley's."

The two turned to Teal'c, surprise written all over their faces.

"No way, Teal'c, you don't even like cherries."

"I do, O'Neill. I am quite fond of them."

"As am I," Daniel announced as he popped the cherry into his mouth.

"Daniel!" came the distraught cries of half of SG-1.

"What? It's just a cherry. Mmmmmmmm…"

Jack crossed his arms and glared in Daniel's general direction. Sam just shrugged and scrapped the last of the fudge from the plate.

"Was everything to your liking?" the waitress asked, arriving at their table, smiling.

"Absolutely."

"Great."

"Indeed."

"As always."

"Good. Have a nice night," the waitress responded, setting the bill on the table. A chorus of "You too!" came from the group.

Kelly Walsh smiled as she made her way back to the kitchen. She loved it when that group came in. She always tried to wait their table. She had been working there for three years, and they had been coming for at least that long. It was usually the same four people. Sometimes a few more arrived with them, and sometimes it wasn't even all four. Kelly knew they must work out of Cheyenne Mountain, and had gathered that at least a couple of them were Air Force.

There was the older man. He wasn't _old_, just older than the others. She thought his name was Jake, or maybe it was Jack. He seemed to be the jokester of the group and was always kind to her.

The young, brown haired man really caught her eye. There had been a while when he didn't come, but when he'd recently shown up again, Kelly had been very pleased. His name was Daniel, and he was a doctor. She didn't think he was a doctor of medicine, but still, well educated and good looking.

The other man had sort of scared her at first. He was tall and muscular and hardly ever showed any emotion. His favorite word was indeed and he _always_ wore a hat. He wasn't so intimidating after you got used to him, though.

Lastly was the luckiest woman in the world, or so Kelly thought. She was very close to all these nice looking men and yet she didn't seem to be attached to any of them. How could this woman, Sam, stand to be with these guys and not have any kind of relationship other than just friends? Kelly sensed there was some tension between Sam and the older man, that maybe 'just friends' wasn't exactly what they were or wanted to be. Anyway, Sam had an endearing smile and seemed very intelligent. Kelly had overheard part of a conversation once and had only understood about two words that had come out of her mouth.

She sighed as she watched them leave. She wished she had friends like that. Kelly made her way back to the table. It was always fun to wait on them, not to mention they left great tips!

o-O-o

Sam unlocked her door and entered her home with the three men, arms laden with various items, following her. Jack placed his precious snacks on the bar in her kitchen. He'd opted for pie, as well as chips and dip. Daniel had picked out some chocolate-walnut cookies and a half-gallon of chocolate milk. Teal'c had decided on cookies and cream ice cream and gummi bears. It was almost laughable that a large, imposing man such as Teal'c would be found consuming tiny, candy bears. Sam had chosen cups of blue Jello, as well as purchasing other much needed groceries.

Teal'c placed the movies they'd rented next to the DVD player. They were a mixture of sci-fi and action. Jack had scoffed at them, saying they were too much like their real lives. He'd wanted to watch a comedy, but his team had outvoted him. He'd shrugged his shoulders in defeat. Secretly, though, Jack liked to watch the movies. His team was _way_ better than any that those moviemakers could come up with. He'd sit with a smug grin on his face the entire time.

Daniel set Jack's old N-64 and games next to the TV. True, there were newer systems, but Jack had found it at a neighbor's garage sale, and had bought it for Teal'c to try out. Since then, the N-64 had made an appearance on team nights.

"What is our first course of action?" Teal'c wondered, hands clasped behind his back.

"Movie?" Sam suggested. Nods came from around the room, so she popped the first movie into the DVD player.

o-O-o

Jack plunged a corn chip into his dip, then watched as some of it plopped down into the bowl. The end credits rolled across the television screen.

"Is there a film in which the male does not obtain the female at the conclusion?" Teal'c asked, looking directly at Sam and Jack. Jack dropped his chip and Sam looked up abruptly.

"What?"

"Teal'c, the guy usually gets the girl in these types of movies," Sam explained.

"This is not like actual life," Teal'c stated, his gaze never wavering from the military half of SG-1.

"It's a horrible cliché, Teal'c. Horrible." Jack frowned and pulled his chip out of the cheese dip.

"See, Teal'c, people want a happy ending when they see a movie. And that usually involves...um…a kiss… or something…at the end," Daniel offered. He was relatively certain that Teal'c was playing naive on purpose, that his words were specifically intended to make Sam and Jack squirm, and perhaps think twice.

Teal'c nodded in response to their explanations.

A slightly uncomfortable silence fell upon the group.

"Beer anyone?"

o-O-o

"Carter! You _slapped_ me to death!"

"Sorry, sir, but I have a license to kill."

Jack stared at her in disbelief. Maybe _Golden Eye_ wasn't the best game to play. The four playing in License to Kill mode was certainly a sight to see. Sam and Teal'c were having much better luck than Jack and Daniel. Jack also couldn't believe Sam was being flippant with him.

"Please, Carter. You've already shot me, stabbed me, and blown me up with a grenade. Do I sense a personal vendetta?"

"No, sir. I just wanted a challenge. Daniel is too easy a target."

"True," Jack agreed.

"I am not!" Daniel said indignantly.

"Are too."

"Not."

"Are."

"Sam! You…you shot me!"

"That's for the cherry."

o-O-o

Sam looked at the clock as the movie finished. Almost 0200 hours. Daniel was sacked out in his chair, feet propped on the ottoman, glasses resting lightly on his nose. He hadn't lasted long after his beer had been taken away. Jack was asleep next to her, gray hair sticking up in all directions. Teal'c rose from his chair, bowing to Sam.

"May I retire to the guest bedroom?" he inquired.

"Sure, Teal'c. See you in the morning." Ever since Teal'c had gone on Tretonin, he needed sleep. However, he often tried to Kel-no-reem before attempting to do so.

Sam headed to her own bedroom. Team nights usually ended with everyone staying over. She didn't mind. In fact, she liked knowing they were there. Sam opened her dresser drawer and pulled out her night clothes- blue pajama pants and a white tank top. Simple and comfortable, just like her BDUs. She went to the bathroom and changed, brushed her teeth, and washed her face.

Sam sighed. She should be terribly tired, but she wasn't. Maybe it was the sugar from the gummi bear catching contest she'd had with Teal'c. Sam snorted softly. _That_ had been interesting.

Sam opened the door and found herself face-to-face with a bleary-eyed colonel.

"Sir?"

"Just have to use the facilities. Beer, ya know."

Sam nodded, stepping around Jack and heading back to the living room. Suddenly Jack wasn't so tired. Not only did his 2IC smell _really_ nice, she was looking, well, extremely cute in her pajamas. Then Mother Nature reminded him he'd had a few beers. He shut the door behind him.

Sam sat back on the couch, crossword puzzle in hand. Even at this hour, she needed something to stimulate her mind. Daniel snored softly in his chair and Sam couldn't help but smile. He was so adorable sometimes.

A few minutes later, Jack joined her on the sofa. "Can't sleep?"

Sam shook her head. "Sir, you can take my bed if you'd like. It's a lot more comfortable than my couch anyway."

The idea certainly was appealing. However, Jack knew he would never get any sleep in her bed. Being surrounded by her smell, her essence, it would drive him insane. Just sitting next to her was enticing enough.

"Thanks, but I won't be able to sleep knowing you can't." It wasn't a lame excuse, it was true. Besides, right now there was nothing more Jack would rather do than keep Sam company.

He loved to be around her, even if he couldn't express his full affections. He kept them hidden for the most part. Getting too close was dangerous; feelings could get in the way. Jack couldn't be anymore sure Sam still had feelings for him than she could be sure he still felt for her. But even if they both still felt the same, which Jack suspected they did, it had to be this way.

Moments like this got him through. Through until what? Until they could be together? Jack didn't know when that would even be a possibility. The war they were fighting was in full swing. They had a job to do. Sam loved her work, and he didn't want to jeopardize that. He also couldn't forget the nagging thought that Sam could do better than him, lots better.

"Whatcha doing?" he asked, leaning in, eyes flitting over her puzzle.

"Crossword," she replied, noting his leg was grazing hers.

"At this hour? Need some help?"

"Okay…um… A four letter word for Norway's Patron Saint."

Jack looked at her blankly. "Well, first of all, I have no idea. Secondly, you don't really need my help."

Sam grinned at Jack. "Sir, you asked. Anyway, it's Olaf."

"Olaf? What kind of name is that? How do you even know that?"

"It's the name of a Norwegian saint, plus I've known Daniel for seven years."

"That does help," Jack agreed. "Any clues I might actually know the answers to?" Jack asked hopefully.

With a smile, Sam replied, "Yes, sir."

o-O-o

Daniel rubbed his eyes sleepily, then pulled his glasses up on his nose. The television was off, but a small light lit the room. Teal'c was no longer there, and Sam and Jack were….

A crossword puzzle and pen sat in Sam's lap, and her head rested lightly against Jack's shoulder. Jack's arm had looped its way around Sam's back and his hand was splayed across her stomach. His cheek lay atop her head and they both looked so…content. That was the best way Daniel could describe it. He smiled softly.

Daniel reached over and turned the light out. Placing his glasses aside and kicking off his shoes, he fell back to sleep.

o-O-o

Jack stirred. Something was different. There was something warm nestled against him. Jack inhaled and his nostrils were filled with a sweet, familiar scent.

Sam.

Interesting. How had this happened? Jack had fallen asleep before Sam. The puzzle had lost its appeal quickly, not to mention the fact he was very tired. She must have been too, because here they were.

Though he knew no one would run in and court-martial them, this was wrong. This was nice, but very unprofessional. Then again, Jack knew that his relationship with Sam, or any member of his team for that matter, wasn't normal. Their bonds ran deep, deeper than those forged by most families.

Daniel must have been up, Jack noticed. The light was out and he was situated much more comfortably. He momentarily wondered how long he'd been in this somewhat compromising position and if the younger man had seen. Then he decided it didn't really matter.

Jack wanted to relish the moment. He wanted to watch Sam, let his eyes linger on her. Study her long, miracle working fingers. Gaze at her face, the smooth curves and creamy skin slightly flushed from sleep. But Jack knew he couldn't and shouldn't. He also knew when he woke her, he would see her wide, blue eyes framed by long, dark lashes. Sam would be looking at him unguarded, and his breath would be stolen away.

He moved his hand up to Sam's bare shoulder and gently shook her. "Carter…Carter."

"Huh?" came the sleepy reply.

"Wake up."

"What?" Sam sat up abruptly, turning towards Jack's voice. Her hand landed squarely on his chest. Jack felt his pulse quicken. For a moment, Sam looked disoriented. Then her gaze landed on him.

"We fell asleep," Jack told her quietly, so as not to disturb Daniel. Sam nodded, removing her hand and picking up her paper and pen.

"Sorry, sir," she said hastily. She was probably piecing together what had happened.

"It's okay. Why don't you go to bed?"

"No, no. You can take my bed," Sam offered.

"_Carter_. Go. Now. It's an order."

Sam nodded, stifling a yawn. "Yes, sir. Night."

"Night." Jack watched his 2IC shuffle her way to her room. He took off his shoes and settled onto the couch with a grin on his face. He'd just had the most intelligent, beautiful, charming woman in the entire galaxy in his arms. However, the grin would have been plastered on his face for the rest of the night, if not for the rest of his life, had the most intelligent, beautiful, charming woman in the entire galaxy remained there.

o-O-o

Coffee. Sausage. Eggs. Those smells had assaulted Sam's senses all morning. She knew the boys were up making themselves at home. Sam was still a bit exhausted and very comfortable. It was a rare occasion she slept until after sunrise without feeling guilty.

With a groan, Sam finally pulled herself out of bed. She quickly ran a brush through her untamed hair, then headed out to see what was going on. She found her team quickly. They were lounging around the TV playing…Mario Kart?

"Get out of my way fungus!" Jack yelled as he tried to drive Mario around Toad. He hit the wall instead. Meanwhile, Daniel sped ahead.

"O'Neill, I believe you possess a red turtle shell."

"Oh, yeah. Thanks, T." He fired the shell and whooped as Toad spun out. "Take that, Daniel."

"Thanks a lot, Jack," Daniel muttered.

"Indeed," Teal'c agreed, shooting off two shells, hitting both Toad and Mario. Bowser pulled to the front.

"Hey!"

"What was that for?"

"I intend to be the victor," the Jaffa told them, a slight smirk playing on his usually stoic features.

Sam almost had to laugh at the looks of determination on all of their faces. They were the same ones she saw in the battlefield day in and day out, yet they were playing a video game. She couldn't help it. Sam laughed.

"Oh, hey, Sam," Daniel said, still focused on his game. "There's coffee and breakfast burritos."

"Morning, Carter."

"Are you well this morning, Major Carter?"

"Morning, guys. I'll go get me a plate." Sam's stomach rumbled as she grabbed a dish and coffee mug.

"Okay, whatever we do, we cannot, under any circumstances, let Teal'c win," Jack told Daniel.

"You are powerless to stop me," Teal'c informed them. "I am nearing the finish line."

"I don't think so," Daniel grinned as his item came up as a lightning bolt. Soon Mario and Bowser were miniature and Toad crossed the finish line in victory.

Teal'c bowed his head in respect. "You are a worthy adversary, Daniel Jackson."

Sam couldn't help but feel content on this morning. She was surrounded by _her_ guys. Men that would protect her with their lives, die for her, or if it came down to it, die with her so she wouldn't face it alone. No one could ever understand what they meant to each other. These three men loved her in a way no one else did, or could even attempt to understand. She loved them too, and would do anything for them, anything at all.

As Sam prepared her breakfast, she had no idea she would soon find out how true that was.

TBC in 'Off To Work We Go'


	2. Off To Work We Go

Ch. 1 Off To Work We Go

P3X-149

"It's less than a click to go, sir."

"Good," Jack responded, hand tightly gripping his P-90. They'd left at the crack of dawn, but here on P3X-whatever, it was afternoon. Even though he had been assured no one had been there in a long time, Jack still didn't like the feel of the planet. Daniel, on the other hand, was babbling incoherently, at least to Jack's ears, about the ruins they were approaching.

Finally the decaying building came into view. Daniel hurried ahead.

"Teal'c." The Jaffa quickly followed the luckless archaeologist. Jack didn't want Daniel to get into trouble. He shook his head as he and his major made their way into the structure. They entered an arched doorway and found themselves in a cavernous room with vaulted ceilings.

"Nice!" Jack said admiringly.

"Isn't it?" Daniel agreed, rummaging through his backpack. "Now the writings look somewhat familiar, and I'll need to reference some of my- Oh, Sam, you have to check this out," he said, pointing to a device in the middle of the room.

Sam looked at her CO for approval. "Just don't turn it on, okay?"

"Yes, sir."

Jack watched as Sam slipped her pack off and began pulling her gadgets out. He heard Daniel mumble as he began translating. He then turned to Teal'c with a pleading expression.

"Major Carter, Daniel Jackson. I believe I will assist O'Neill in surveying the rest of the ruins."

"Okay," came their somewhat distracted replies.

Jack sent an appreciative glance in Teal'c's direction as they headed out.

He and Teal'c made their way through the different parts of the remains, assessing what was worth taking a closer look at and what wasn't. It seemed the most interesting area was where they had left Sam and Daniel.

"O'Neill," Teal'c said, holding his hand up, commanding attention. "Listen."

Jack cocked his head, listening intently. Nothing.

Then he heard it.

"Jaffa." It was a statement, not a question. Jack rapidly moved to the nearest window. "Crap." A group of Jaffa were closing in on their position. They weren't near enough to make out their forehead emblem, but they were getting darn close.

"Carter. Daniel." A moment passed.

"Sir?" finally came the response.

"Pack up, we're moving out." Another moment.

"Yes, sir."

"We'll be there."

Jack and Teal'c rushed back the way they had come.

"_Of course_ some Jaffa will show up. _Of course_ we'll have to run for our lives. _Of course_ we can't have a simple mission," Jack grumbled.

Teal'c was in silent agreement with his commanding officer. SG-1 certainly seemed to attract trouble.

"Okay guys, let's move. We've got Jaffa on our tails," Jack announced upon seeing the rest of his team.

"Jaffa?" Daniel asked, his eyebrows arching in surprise.

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure they've got a mother ship around here."

"I am in agreement with O'Neill. They did not come from the direction of the Stargate," Teal'c told the two scientists as they quickly packed up their items.

"Yeah, which means we have to get there before they do." Jack was getting edgy. He inclined his head towards the doors. "Move out."

SG-1 had barely made it to the dense foliage surrounding the ruins when a staff blast sped past Teal'c's head. The Jaffa did not hesitate; he plunged ahead into the forest.

Jack not so silently urged his team forward. He was thankful the Jaffa were such bad shots as blast after blast missed their intended targets.

Daniel tried to catch his breath as they ran. The ruins hadn't exactly been a stone's throw from the gate. "Ah!" he cried as a branch lashed across his face.

It was at times like this that Sam wished for a remote DHD. If she remembered correctly, the clearing where the DHD and gate were was exactly that, a clearing. No trees or rocks to take cover behind. They would have precious little time to dial home.

Finally, a breathless SG-1 made it to their destination. Sam's memory had served her well and time was of the essence.

"Daniel, dial it up!" Jack yelled over the din created by staff weapons and P-90s. Jack took up a position behind the DHD, covering Daniel as he dialed. Sam and Teal'c used the MALP as cover, picking off Jaffa as they came into view.

"Daniel!" Jack roared when he did not hear the familiar kawoosh.

Daniel looked at the DHD nervously. He _had_ dialed the right address, he was positive. Quickly, he tried again. Nothing. He ducked behind the device with Jack as a blast soared over his head. The glare he received almost made him want to go face the legion of Jaffa firing at them than deal with Jack's wrath.

"Either there's a malfunction or we're getting a busy signal," Daniel explained.

"Daniel?" came a confused shout from Sam.

"Try the Alpha site! We'll cover you! Go!" Jack yelled.

Daniel nodded and moved to dial. A bright flash and an explosion that was way too close sent him flying backwards.

Jack wanted to swear. He wanted to shout out a long stream of expletives. The red center of the DHD was in shards.

They weren't getting out of this the easy way, were they?

TBC in 'Hunted'


	3. Hunted

Ch. 2 Hunted

"Daniel!" Jack grabbed the younger man and pulled him to his feet. "Tree line!" he shouted to the rest of his team. Sam and Teal'c nodded, and laid down cover fire until Daniel and Jack reached them. Then they all ran for the safety of the trees.

"This is _so_ not going as planned!" Jack groaned as he heard the familiar buzz of a death glider's approach. The ground rocked under his feet as the glider began its bombardment.

Sam was in front, eyes darting across the tree line, assuring herself they weren't going to run into more trouble when they made it there. Teal'c was a bit behind her, pausing and firing his staff weapon every chance he could. Daniel and Jack were lagging behind. SG-1 struggled to keep their footing and make it to the trees.

It didn't happen.

A blast hit directly behind Daniel and Jack. They went flying forward. Teal'c was only a few yards ahead and went to his knees. Sam, far enough in the lead, stayed on her feet. Coming to a stop, she turned, shocked at the scene playing out before her.

Daniel was on the ground, not moving. Jack was struggling to get up, and Teal'c had made his way over to assist. Jaffa were closing in on them. _No…no, no, no._ This was going all wrong.

Staff blasts began falling closer to Sam. She ducked reflexively even though she was in the open. Nothing would shield her. That's when she realized her team was as good as caught. Daniel was still on the ground, and Jack wasn't going to leave him behind.

Neither was she.

Sam began to run back towards them. She was basically surrendering, but they needed help, and no one got left behind.

"Carter, go! Get out of here!" Jack yelled at her, pointing her in the opposite direction.

"No, sir!"

"Major Carter, get out of here now! That's an order!"' A hundred things ran through Jack's mind. He knew he and the guys couldn't make it. Sam was far enough away to make it to the forest. She had a chance. If anyone could save him and the rest of his team, it was Sam. She _couldn't_ get caught.

Sam stopped short, her blue eyes wide. "But-"

"Kree!" came the shouts of Jaffa as more staff blasts littered the clearing around Sam. They were aiming at her. Not her friends, but her. The one who could still get away.

"_CARTER!_"

There was no room for argument. He was her CO; he had given her a direct order. No matter how much she wanted to defy him, wanted to run to her team, her family, Sam couldn't. She was their only chance now, to at least get a message to Stargate Command when they missed the check-in. She could still communicate by radio.

Sam had to get going, be a moving target. She was only lucky she hadn't been hit yet. With a brief nod, she fled towards the forest, to find a more safe and defensible location.

o-O-o

Sam had found a better position. She was high above the forest floor, perched on a tree branch, looking down at the clearing. It had been agony to watch the Jaffa surround Teal'c, Jack, and Daniel. She hated standing by, unable to do anything. Was this how Daniel had felt when he had been ascended?

The Jaffa had stripped her friends of their weapons and vests. A small band of Jaffa had headed into the woods, to find her, she was sure. Teal'c and Jack appeared to be fine. Daniel, on the other hand, was trying to sit up and failing miserably.

Sam could almost make out everything the Jaffa were saying, their loud voices threatening. They were demanding to know who they were, where they were from, and where she was. Her teammates were silent. One Jaffa kicked Daniel in the ribs and he doubled over in pain.

"We're…we're explorers. Tha…that's it!" Daniel gasped.

Sam had to admit she was surprised. Although she did not know which Goa'uld the Jaffa belonged to, she almost expected them to know who they were, at least Teal'c.

"There is another one of you. Where did this one go?"

An eerie stillness fell over the clearing.

"Your friend will be found and will suffer the consequences of your silence!" the Jaffa warned. Still no response. "Jaffa!" he yelled, turning to a group of about five Jaffa.

As Sam got a good view of his forehead, she discovered he was the First Prime. If she had thought Teal'c was large when she first met him, this man dwarfed her teammate.

"Find this other one. Bring him to me alive."

_Him_? Sam smirked. Boy, was he in for a surprise.

"We shall take the prisoners back to the ha'tak, then join you in your search."

"Yes, Mal'tek," the Jaffa bowed in respect. He then led his group towards the woods.

Sam was torn. She could not let her friends be taken from the planet. This was a Goa'uld they had no knowledge of. If they were taken, the SGC would likely never find out where. There was no point in even returning to the SGC without her team. She had managed when Daniel had ascended, but only because Jack and Teal'c had been there. If she lost all three…she didn't even want to think about it.

Sam could also not let herself be captured, which would most likely happen if she tried to bail her friends out. Then again, she would rather be caught and taken with them than lose them to some little known Goa'uld. Their scheduled check in wasn't for-she glanced at her watch-five more hours. Her team didn't have five hours.

She froze as the band of Jaffa passed her location. Sam held her breath, her gun at the ready. The sensation caused by the Jaffa's presence was very strong, and chills prickled down her back. Sam prayed they wouldn't discover her.

She slowly let out the breath she'd been holding as the Jaffa moved on.

o-O-o

Daniel hobbled along, groaning as a Jaffa prodded him none too lightly in the back with a staff weapon. He felt responsible for the whole situation. Maybe if he'd dialed faster, if he hadn't fallen behind… There were so many what ifs, not to mention he was concerned about Sam. Though he knew she was armed and more than capable of fending for herself, Daniel had seen the Jaffa go into the woods in her pursuit.

They were prepared to enter the dense forest and trek to the mother ship when Mal'tek commanded them to halt. A party of Jaffa exited the foliage, along with a man who appeared to be their leader.

"Lord Morpheus," Mal'tek bowed.

"For cryin' out loud," Jack muttered. _Of course_ they'd get to meet the cliché bad guy.

"Mal'tek. Who are these?" Morpheus asked, looking over the three captives. He paused on Teal'c. "You are the First Prime of Apophis?"

"I was," Teal'c replied shortly.

"You consort with humans, Jaffa. Why did you leave the service of your god?"

"False god. Dead, false god." Teal'c did not even grunt as he was struck with a staff.

"Apophis dead? When was this?" Morpheus demanded.

"A few years ago. Where have you people been? Some backwater planet? Ugh!" He really needed to learn to keep his mouth shut, Jack thought as he rubbed his side.

"I have been slowly building my forces, human. Obviously you are no match for us," Morpheus replied arrogantly.

Jack closed his eyes as he focused on not making another snide comment. It was hard, _so_ hard.

"My lord, there is one more that has evaded capture. There are search parties looking," Mal'tek informed his master.

"Are these not forthcoming with his whereabouts?"

"No, my lord."

The Goa'uld cocked his head at the men of SG-1. "Why are you on this world? From where did you come?"

The three simply stared ahead blankly. Morpheus' eyes narrowed.

"You!" he pointed at Jack. "Tell me what I wish to know." He raised his hand, revealing a hand device.

Jack braced himself for what was coming.

"Please, wait!" Daniel pleaded.

It was too late. Jack crumpled to his knees as the energy beam drilled into his forehead.

"We're explorers, that's it!" Daniel cried.

"That is not what my lord wishes to know," Mal'tek retorted, all too pleased at the sight of the human writhing in pain.

"We-"

"Daniel…don't…" Jack managed to get out.

Daniel threw his hands up helplessly, lowering his head. He hated this part of the interrogation process. He really, really hated it. Daniel also knew Jack couldn't take much more. He knew from personal experience. He looked to Teal'c for help. The former First Prime looked ahead stoically. Daniel sighed. There was nothing they could do for their friend. They were out numbered and weaponless.

Jack wasn't going to give in, and neither was Morpheus. But Lady Luck smiled on Jack O'Neill that day. It happened so swiftly no one, not even the 'god' Morpheus himself, saw it coming. No one saw the silver blade of a knife fly through the air. No one saw it penetrate Morpheus' personal shield. No one saw it until Morpheus lay on the ground, a strategically thrown knife protruding from his neck, symbiote severed in two.

TBC in 'Caught'


	4. Caught

Ch. 3 Caught

Sam did not like the part of her job that entailed killing. It was something she never got used to, even though it was an all too frequent occurrence off world. Many times Jaffa found themselves at the receiving end of one of her bullets. Sam knew these men often had families, and they usually had no choice but to serve their masters. Teal'c was an example of that. She had met his family and certainly had a soft spot for Rya'c. How many children had she taken fathers away from? However, when she saw the Goa'uld torturing her CO, she knew action had to be taken.

Sam had left her perch in the tree to trail after her teammates. She'd moved stealthily towards their position. Sam was afraid she would lose them as they closed in on the woods, but they had met up with another group of Jaffa. Moving where she was still encompassed by the forest, but able to see the cluster of people, Sam had made something of a semicircle around the clearing to end up where she currently was.

Sam knew there was little time to help her colonel. The Goa'uld more than likely had a personal shield, and she had just the thing to penetrate it. Sam unsheathed her knife and moved a few steps closer, careful not to give her location away. She aimed carefully; there would only be one chance at this. Now if her target would only slightly shift his position…

Her lips twitched, almost in satisfaction, as the Goa'uld went down and chaos erupted. Her aim had been better than she'd hoped. Sam turned her attention to Daniel and Teal'c and found she couldn't get a clear shot at the Jaffa holding them. She'd just have to make even more of a distraction. With the silencer affixed to her weapon, Sam expertly began picking off Jaffa after Jaffa.

o-O-o

_Sam_. Daniel knew it had to be her. He struggled against the Jaffa's grip, which had loosened since the firefight began, but to no avail. The grasp tightened and Daniel found himself a human shield.

As Jaffa began to shoot unsystematically into the underbrush, obviously bewildered at Morpheus' demise, Teal'c managed to knock away one of his captors. A struggle for a staff ensued.

Jack was on his side, desperately trying to unscramble his brains. All he knew was someone was firing on the enemy, and he was sure it was his major.

She _really_ needed a promotion.

o-O-o

There had been about a dozen Jaffa, and Sam had been able to take out half before it got too dangerous to remain in her current position. She scrambled to her feet, barely evading a blast. She had created a diversion, and it was up to the guys to take full advantage of that.

Sam paused, heart thumping. She could hear another party of Jaffa approaching her from behind, from the direction of the temple. Not good, not good at all. That meant there were at least three patrols in the vicinity, plus the one that held her team captive. She needed to find a safe location and find out what was happening to them. A tree had worked before, it could work again.

Scanning her surroundings, Sam finally pinpointed the perfect tree. She had to make it there before the patrol passed. She began her ascent, and while Jack had been quite fortunate, thanks to Sam, she herself was not so lucky.

Sam found her foot wedged and she could go no further. She looked back over her shoulder as she struggled to free herself. _Of course_ this would happen, she thought crossly. SG-1 never got a break. At last her foot came free, but she hadn't been fast enough.

She didn't even try to fight as the Jaffa encircled the tree she was in. Sam's position did not allow her to do much. She grimaced. She was angry she had gotten caught, but it was almost inevitable, she conceded.

The Jaffa that surrounded her were none too kind about getting her back on solid ground. One Jaffa reached up and grabbed her leg, pulling roughly. Sam lost her footing, but her hands still grasped the tree tightly. Another pull and Sam was on her back, gasping for air.

The Jaffa took Sam's P-90 and zat and handed them off to another. He made no attempt to help her up.

"Who are you?" he boomed, looking at her suspiciously. They obviously had no idea what was going on. Sam just stared up at him, and he stared back. The silence was broken by the sounding of a horn.

The head Jaffa spoke quickly to his patrol. Sam was pretty sure he said something along the lines of 'Listen up. Something's happened to our master. Let's go find out, and bring the lowly human.' Yep, that was probably it, she thought, as she was hauled to her feet and pushed towards the clearing.

o-O-o

Teal'c struggled against his brothers, and he used that term lightly. Out of the six Jaffa remaining, three were trying to subdue Teal'c. Daniel was having a hard enough time with one. Jack was sitting up, but really couldn't pose a challenge to anyone at the moment. Mal'tek and the remaining Jaffa scanned the forest. They had alerted the others in the area of their situation.

"Your friend will pay for this. Do not think that any of you shall die a quick and painless death! Morpheus will be avenged, I assure you."

"Blah, blah, blah," Jack muttered, massaging his forehead. Mal'tek sent him a fierce look, but turned his attention away when a group of Jaffa came into view.

"What has happened?" a Jaffa asked the First Prime, staring in shock at his fallen master.

"Another one of them is responsible," Mal'tek informed him, motioning to the captive SG-1.

"But he is a god!"

"Do not fear. Our goddess Tisiphone lives on, and she will not allow this act to go unpunished."

"We found this one in the woods," another Jaffa spoke up, pushing Sam forward.

Sam grimaced as she was forced to her knees. She looked apologetically at the guys.

_Sorry for getting caught. I let you down. _

_It's okay. You did your best. We're just glad you're all right._

The silent conversation was interrupted by Mal'tek.

He knocked Sam's hat from her head and grasped her chin, forcing her to look up at him.

"A _woman_?" Mal'tek stared at Sam in disbelief. A female human had killed his master? Impossible. "You are responsible for this?"

Sam glared at him defiantly. This resistance was rewarded with a blow to the stomach. Her teammates automatically moved to defend her, but were promptly put back in their places by the other Jaffa.

"You are a human, a woman. Not a warrior. You could not have done this."

Sam closed her eyes, willing the pain away before glancing back up at her captor. "I am responsible."

"Why would you kill your god?"

"Obviously he is no god. He's dead," Sam replied, looking in the direction of the slain Goa'uld.

Mal'tek didn't reply for a moment. What the woman said was true. How could a god be killed? He finally mustered up a response.

"Perhaps he was not fit to be a god. I am aware of those more powerful than he. Morpheus was weak, but Tisiphone is not. When she hears of what you have done, nothing will stop her from exacting her revenge. You will wish you had left your friend to die."

Sam's eyes locked with her CO. She could never be sorry she had saved his life. She also knew he would have done the same thing.

Jack was worried. No, make that scared out of his mind. His team was in trouble, particularly his 2IC. She had ticked off the wrong people, and she had done it to save him. This was _so_ not the camping trip he had planned.

TBC in 'Tisiphone'


	5. Tisiphone

Ch. 4 Tisiphone

"So…"

"So _what_, Daniel?" a frustrated Jack O'Neill asked, leaning against the wall of their cell, arms crossed.

"So how are we going to get out of this one?"

"I am unsure, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c answered.

"We'll figure something out. We've been in similar situations before. We just have to wait for an opportunity to make our move," Sam supplied.

Once again the cell fell silent. They were on a mother ship, headed to who knew where and to an uncertain fate. The chance that the SGC would find them now was slim to none. Then again, Sam was right. They had been in similar situations before. They'd find a way out. They were SG-1. That's what they did. They found trouble and subsequently got out of it.

Jack was stationed at the entrance to their prison, one eye on his team, one eye on the door. Teal'c stood as well, listening vigilantly for the sounds of approaching Jaffa. Sam and Daniel sat side by side at the rear of the cell. Daniel still didn't feel too great after the many close calls he'd had that day, and Sam was there, attempting to calm his jangled nerves.

"Sam?" Daniel finally spoke up.

"Hum?"

"Don't worry about me. I'm fine, really. What about you?"

"What about me? I'm not the one who was target practice for a death glider. I'm fine."

Daniel sighed. She wasn't getting his point. "You killed their god, Sam. You don't think they're going to take it personally?"

Sam winced at the word killed. "Look, Daniel, I didn't have a choice. I wasn't going to sit idly by and watch Colonel O'Neill die."

"I know, I know. It's just… This Tisiphone, her name means…it means 'avenging murder'. It's Greek, like Morpheus, the God of Dreams. I'm not saying she's anything like her name describes, but…"

"Daniel, I think you're blowing this out of proportion. She can't be any worse than any other Goa'uld we've come across."

"Sam, she's going to be angry. It seems pretty clear she was Morpheus' queen."

"Dan-"

"Carter," Jack interrupted. "I can see where he's coming from. Let's just try not to step on any more toes, okay?"

Sam nodded as Jack sat down next to her. He propped his arms up on his knees and sighed.

"So why exactly were these guys there? There wasn't supposed to be _anyone_ there."

"Well, sir, they might have been after the weapon."

"Weapon?" Jack asked incredulously.

"Yes, sir. I didn't get to study it long, but it seems that the device was a weapon. I'm not sure what exactly it did, and Daniel," Sam said, cocking her head in the other scientist's direction, "didn't get to translate much either. However, I did determine the power source was depleted. I detected no energy readings what so ever. I think it's safe to say that even if the Goa'uld manage to retrieve the device, they won't be able to get it to work. I've never seen anything like it."

Daniel nodded in agreement. "The civilization was unlike any we have come across. I just wish I could have found out what happened to them."

"I'm betting the device destroyed them all, or they never got it to work," Jack guessed.

"Possibly," Sam agreed with her CO. "Though I doubt we'll ever find out."

o-O-o

Daniel wasn't sure what woke him up. He rubbed his eyes, frowning as he remembered where he was.

"The ha'tak has dropped out of hyperspace, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c informed his sleepy teammate.

"Duh duh duh dum," Jack grumbled, getting to his feet. He grasped Sam's hand, pulling her up. "You okay?" he asked. She seemed a bit stiff.

"Fell out of a tree, sir. I'm a little sore, that's all."

"That's all? Anything else you wanna tell me?"

"No, sir."

Jack nodded slowly. How she had fallen from a tree, he didn't know, but he needed his team to be one hundred percent if they were going to attempt any kind of escape.

"O'Neill, someone approaches," Teal'c said. Everyone became alert at the announcement.

"Hey, Mal'tek. What's up, buddy?" Jack asked, smirking.

Mal'tek stood at the doorway, staff weapon pointed directly at Jack.

"We have arrived on Olympus. You will be escorted to meet your god."

"I thought we already did. Oh, wait, he's dead," Jack answered sarcastically.

Sam quietly reminded him not to 'step on any more toes' as SG-1 was marched down the corridor to the rings. Jack nodded. He really should follow his own advice.

They piled onto the ring platform, Jaffa encircling them. A whoosh and a bright flash later they were in some sort of cavern. The air was cool and damp. They were underground.

As the team was pushed towards their fate, each member made a mental note of their path and the surroundings. If an opportunity for escape arose, they would know the way to the rings.

They emerged from the tunnel-like path into a larger area, most likely Tisiphone's throne room. It was decorated lavishly; very over the top, very Goa'uldish.

"Mal'tek, what has transpired?" a deep, but feminine voice inquired as SG-1 was lined up. Jack couldn't help but think there was a firing squad around somewhere. Instead, all he saw was a diminutive woman come stand in front of the massive First Prime.

"Mal'tek!" she demanded, briefly flashing her dark eyes in SG-1's direction.

Mal'tek bowed. "My lady, Morpheus has fallen in battle."

Jack suppressed a snicker. In battle? Yeah, right.

Tisiphone's eyes flashed, this time literally. "Who is responsible? These?" she asked, moving quickly to the four prisoners.

"Yes, my lady. The female is responsible," Mal'tek responded.

Sam looked down at the Goa'uld. She was a good few inches taller than Tisiphone, but that didn't make Sam feel any better. Her attention was on the hand device that had begun to glow. Without a single word to her mate's murderer, Tisiphone sent a shockwave from the device, sending Sam crashing into the wall. She crumpled to the floor with a slight moan.

Tisiphone quickly traversed the room to stand over the fallen woman. She raised her hand again. "I should crush every bone in your body!" she cried.

"Sam!" Daniel shouted, fighting against his captors.

"Leave her alone! If you wanna blame someone, blame me," Jack pleaded, trying to take the Goa'uld's attention off of his semi-conscious major.

"Silence!" Tisiphone commanded. "You will all suffer for what she has done!" She paused a moment, gaze fixed on Sam's shoulder. "This symbol," she began, lightly touching the patch, "this is the symbol of a world lost to me long ago. A primitive world. You are of the Tau'ri?"

Sam looked cautiously at the woman above her. She nodded slowly, hoping this revelation would not anger her further.

"You have come quite far. Far, indeed."

Tisiphone quickly stood, as if troubled. "Jaffa! Take these to the holding cells until I decide their fate."

TBC in 'Checking In'


	6. Checking In

Ch. 5 Checking In

Sergeant Walter Harriman was in his normal position at the keyboard but turned as he heard footsteps. A worried General Hammond appeared at his side, concern etched on his face for his overdue team.

"Dial up P3X-149."

"Yes, sir."

Hammond watched the Stargate spin and each chevron engage.

"Chevron 7, locked!" Walter announced over the kawoosh.

"SG-1, this is Hammond. Please respond." After a few seconds he repeated his request. Still nothing. "Try to get video," Hammond ordered.

Walter fiddled with a few controls. "The MALP is not responding, sir."

Hammond nodded, making his way over to the phone. "This is Hammond. Get me Sergeant Siler immediately."

o-O-o

Hammond sat at his desk, attempting to work. He was finding it a difficult task. His flagship team was missing, again.

Hammond had gotten Siler to prepare another MALP to be sent to the planet. When the MALP had reached the other side, he'd quickly discovered why SG-1 had not made contact. The MALP had been hit by several staff blasts, and there was clearly evidence of a firefight, including a destroyed DHD. SG-1 was nowhere to be seen and had not answered any of his hails.

It was at that point that Hammond had decided to send a UAV through to get an aerial view of the area. SG-3 had volunteered their services, but the general wanted to be sure he wasn't sending his team into an ambush. The UAV picked up nothing, so with some reservation, Hammond sent SG-3 through with an alternate power source for dialing the gate.

He was now waiting for the klaxons to start blaring, bringing news of SG-1's fate. He didn't have to wait long.

"Unscheduled offworld activation!" Walter's shout came through the intercom.

Hammond pounded down the stairs and rushed into the gate room. A few moments later, SG-3, led by Colonel Reynolds, came through the event horizon.

"Report, Colonel."

"Sir, there was definitely a pretty bad skirmish. We came across some dead Jaffa. We weren't able to identify whom they were loyal to, but apparently they were killed by SG-1. The only trace we found of them, sir, was this." Reynolds turned to his second in command.

Major Warner handed a green, SGC issue cap to Hammond. Dr. Jackson and Teal'c hadn't worn a hat this mission, and it wasn't worn enough to be O'Neill's. It had to be Major Carter's. A strand of pale hair confirmed his suspicions.

"Sir?" Reynolds ventured. "SG-1 is most likely no longer on the planet."

Hammond nodded. "We can't be one hundred percent sure of anything right now. We'll debrief after Dr. Fraiser has checked you out."

"Yes, sir."

With that, SG-3 headed to the infirmary and Hammond was left to his thoughts.

TBC in 'Fate'

A/N: Short chapter, I know. But that means you get another one sooner!

Also, a heads up for future chapters: I think it can be gathered from the summary and the way I categorized the story, not only do I do angst…I'm a whumper, too. There will be some violence and some adult themes, though nothing that would push the rating up. These guys are in for a bumpy ride, and I hope you'll stick with them.

Thank you for reading and reviewing…and all that angst/hurt/comfort will soon come into play!


	7. Fate

Ch. 6 Fate

Daniel leaned against the cool rock of their cell. He'd volunteered to take watch. They had lost count of the hours they'd been waiting for Tisiphone to return. It was very unlikely she had forgotten about them. She was probably devising some terrible way to punish them for the rest of their lives. Though Daniel was still worried about Sam, he didn't voice it.

He glanced over at his friends. Teal'c was trying to rest after a somewhat successful session of kel'no'reem. Sam sat next to him, her eyes closed. Daniel was pretty sure she wasn't sleeping. Jack had taken off his jacket and made a pillow out of it; he was stretched out perpendicular to Sam. He wasn't asleep either.

Daniel heard voices from down the corridor. "Hey, guys. Company's coming."

Jack moved into a sitting position, groaning. "'Bout time…I guess." Though he didn't want to expedite their punishment, it wasn't easy for him to just sit around wondering what would happen.

Together, SG-1 stood shoulder to shoulder, ready and waiting.

Then there she was, with her personal guard. Tisiphone studied them each carefully. "I am Tisiphone, your goddess. If you are to be my prisoners, I wish to know what you call yourselves."

Sam looked at her CO, unsure of what to do.

"Colonel Jack O'Neill." They might as well get on this Goa'uld's good side, if that were even possible.

"Major Samantha Carter."

"Uh, Dr. Daniel Jackson."

"And you, shol'va?" Tisiphone demanded.

Teal'c sent a cold, hard stare in return.

"This is Teal'c," Daniel supplied.

Tisiphone observed Teal'c for a moment longer before turning to the remaining three members of SG-1. "You are Tau'ri. I have heard nothing of them since before my banishment."

"Well, apparently you've been out of the loop for a while."

Tisiphone glared at Jack. "My mate and I were detested by the System Lords, specifically Cronus. We were exiled to this planet, not able to build our forces."

"Cronus?" Jack asked in disbelief. This was a story he wanted to hear.

"Over time, Cronus became concerned with other things, leaving us to slowly rebuild our empire. Now, in his complete absence, we need not be so secretive. We are making rapid advances." Tisiphone paused, intrigued by the humans. "You know of Cronus?"

Jack hesitated. She obviously didn't like the guy. Maybe it would get them on Tisiphone's good side if it was revealed they'd been the ones, along with their robotic counterparts, to aid in taking Cronus out.

"Uh, yeah. We kinda helped bring about his downfall," Jack said slowly, gauging her reaction. The Goa'uld suddenly looked very pleased.

"Very good. I should be thanking you. I suppose I will not torture you," she told the men. "But you, Samantha, you will not escape so easily. You have killed Morpheus. You will not only take the punishment for these three, you will take your own as well, from which there is no reprieve. I also sense you were once a host. You will have information on the Tau'ri and whichever Goa'uld you served."

"I served no Goa'uld."

Teal'c glanced at his teammate. With her head held high, Sam was as defiant as ever. That was until Tisiphone leaned in close, speaking softly. When the goddess pulled away, it was apparent her words had affected Sam.

"You will tell me everything you know, Samantha. One way or another."

"Hey, don't take it all out on her. We're to blame, too!" Jack appealed. He knew that even if Tisiphone got the information from Sam, the punishment wouldn't stop. This woman was out with a vengeance.

"I will do what I please. Be content that I will not torment you," Tisiphone retorted. She stormed from the cell, Jaffa following. Soon only Mal'tek and another Jaffa remained.

Sam swallowed hard, Tisiphone's words resounding in her head. She backed up a few steps, not even noticing her teammates' worried gazes.

"Move," came Mal'tek's order.

Jack looked to Sam. She was usually the one to go willingly, but whether she knew it or not, Sam had shielded herself behind her team. She was looking at the imposing First Prime with a mixture of dread and revulsion.

"Um, sorry. I don't think she wants to," Jack said, positioning himself protectively in front of his 2IC.

"She has no choice. I will use force," Mal'tek warned, priming his staff.

"As will I," Teal'c countered.

"Teal'c, no," came the soft plea. Sam couldn't let her friends try and defend her. They wouldn't stand a chance. Any risks taken would be on her part. Taking a deep breath, Sam stepped in front of her team. The Jaffa grabbed her and pulled her out of the cell. She refused to look back at her friends. She didn't want them to see her fear.

"Take her to my quarters," Mal'tek ordered as he secured the cell.

Sam vaguely heard her teammates' shouts as she turned on her captor. The Jaffa clearly wasn't expecting her to fight. He stumbled back, blood seeping from his nose. Mal'tek spun around in surprise, barely managing to defend himself against Sam's kick. He caught her by the foot, sending her to the floor.

On any other day, perhaps Sam would have bounced right back up. But her back hurt, badly. It had already had a meeting with the forest floor and a wall.

The other Jaffa had recovered and come to Mal'tek's aid. He attempted to grab her legs, but instead got a foot in the jaw.

Sam struggled as she felt Mal'tek's strong hands clasp around her upper arms, pulling her into an upright position.

"Why do you fight me when in the end I will win?" he questioned, grip tightening.

"I am a warrior," Sam replied as steadily as she could. "I'll fight until I'm dead."

"We shall see," Mal'tek scoffed, forcing her down the hallway.

TBC in 'Vulnerability'


	8. Vulnerability

Ch. 7 Vulnerability

"Daniel, stop." Jack eyed the younger man as he paced the cell.

Daniel paused, then turned around in exasperation. "Sorry, Jack, but I'm just a little worried about my friend right now."

"What? You don't think I am? You're just making it worse," Jack said in an equally exasperated tone.

Daniel took his glasses off, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Sorry. It's just…"

"I know," came Jack's simple reply. And he did. His 2IC had been taken away kicking and screaming to a not so uncertain fate. It was pretty clear what the First Prime had wanted with Sam. Though she was perfectly capable of protecting herself, Jack had a bad feeling. The close call in Simarka was exactly that. It had been way too close. And he knew there was no way they'd be riding in to save the day this time. "I'm going to break his neck," he muttered.

"Indeed," Teal'c concurred.

Jack looked up at the Jaffa, who had been silent up to that point. From the look on his face, he believed Teal'c would do it.

"We just have to hope that she'll be okay," Daniel said, unconvinced of his own words.

"Yeah…" Jack was angry. Sam wasn't just his teammate. She meant a lot to him, a lot more than she was supposed to. After all they had experienced together over the years, it was hard not to develop some type of affection. But there was something about Sam that made her unique. She had a certain spark that he didn't want extinguished by anything that happened on this mission. Though Jack was showing some semblance of control now with his teammates, Mal'tek would have a fight on his hands when he returned. If he did anything to Sam, he'd pay for it, there was no question in Jack's mind.

"You don't think she'll resist to the point they'll, uh…kill her?" he asked, worried for the first time about Sam's feistiness.

"No, I don't think so. She wants Sam alive. The Tisiphone in Greek mythology was one of the Erinyes. They were female personifications of vengeance. I'm not saying this is _the _Tisiphone, but she has taken on her persona, at the very least. The Erinyes' effect on their victims was madness. Tisiphone said there would be no reprieve," Daniel replied.

"So you're saying this Goa'uld is going to torture Carter until she…goes nuts?"

"It's a very real possibility, Jack."

"Major Carter is strong. She will not falter," Teal'c said confidently. The others nodded, then fell silent.

Feelings of guilt were beginning to gnaw at Jack. Sam was in this mess because she had killed Morpheus, and she had killed Morpheus to save him. There was no way the SGC would find them. Though Tisiphone's forces were weak compared to that of other Goa'uld, it was enough to keep SG-1 subservient. It seemed to be a hopeless situation. Then again, they were SG-1 and they always made it out. They'd find a way. He wasn't going to watch the most important thing to Earth, to the entire galaxy, to _him_, waste away at the hands of this monster.

Footsteps broke him from his reverie.

"Move away from the entrance," a Jaffa commanded. No one moved. "If you wish to have your friend returned, you will do as I say."

Reluctantly, the men cooperated. Two Jaffa entered the cell, staffs aimed and ready. Silently, Sam came into view, but the Jaffa behind her was not Mal'tek.

Jack found himself hoping that just maybe she'd gotten the better of him. His anger rose as Sam was pushed into the cell. She fell to her hands and knees with the smallest of grunts. The Jaffa looked at her in distain.

"Pathetic!" he sneered, placing his armored boot on the small of her back. In one swift movement he sent Sam to the floor. And in a split second the three men of SG-1 were on top of the Jaffa. It was risky, they knew it. But the helpless feeling that had hung over them had been replaced by unrestrained anger.

Daniel narrowly avoided a staff blast as he tackled a Jaffa. Teal'c grasped the staff of the other guard. Jack plowed into the one who had brought Sam in.

"Omph," Daniel groaned as he stumbled into the wall. His breath caught as the front of a staff weapon was thrust into his face, knocking his glasses askew. He vaguely made out a blur of green and yellow bring down the hefty Jaffa.

_Sam_.

Sam honestly didn't think she could take this Jaffa. Not after the day she'd had. Her suspicions were confirmed when she felt the cold blade of a knife at her throat. Sam closed her eyes in frustration. She was letting her team down in every respect. Shouting from the hall informed her they weren't making it out. Not this time.

"Stop now! Stop now or you will all die!"

Jack held back his fist, glancing up. Newly arrived Jaffa stood with their weapons pointed at his team, and Sam had a knife to her throat. This was bad. He slowly stood up as the Jaffa edged towards the exit with Sam. Teal'c and Daniel backed away, surrendering.

"As I said, pathetic." The leader grabbed Sam roughly, causing her to wince.

_Let her go, let her go!_ Jack repeated silently.

"Women are not warriors. They are weak and fallible," he asserted, shaking his captive. "If the Tau'ri allow such individuals within their ranks, it will not be long until we conquer them as well."

Daniel looked sorrowfully at Sam. With her eyes downcast and her body hunched over, she seemed submissive and meek, not at all like the Sam he knew. For her, this was the worst kind of torture. Being told she was weak and inferior and being unable to do anything to prove otherwise, in a room full of men, no less.

"You will not attempt another escape. Tisiphone has graciously allowed you to live. She may not be so forgiving in the future." The Jaffa thrust Sam towards her team, Teal'c catching her before she fell.

She barely heard the slam of the metal door as she steadied herself, using Teal'c's solid frame for support.

"Major Carter?"

"It's okay, Teal'c. I'm fine." Sam could feel the presence of Jack and Daniel behind her, sense their worry. She turned so they were all in her view, finally looking at them.

"Sam?"

It was almost enough to undo her. _He_ called her Sam. He never did…

_Weak._

_Fallible._

"Sir, _please_," her voice quavered. That barrier couldn't crumble now. She needed something firm to hold on to.

"Sam. Mal'tek…he…he didn't…" Daniel stumbled over his words.

Jack's stomach twisted in knots as his eyes raked over Sam. He took in the way her clothing fell haphazardly on her slender frame, her bloodied lip, the way her eyes stared unfocused on the floor at her feet. Jack considered she could be in shock and also the reason why. The notion that anyone had touched Sam in a way she didn't approve of…it literally made him sick. But he did need to know what had transpired, no matter how bad it looked or how painful it was to hear.

Sam pulled her jacket tightly around her, crossing her arms over her chest. She looked briefly up at him, then dipped her head back down. Finally, she acknowledged Daniel, softly and carefully.

"He, uh…tried… But…something with the …Stargate. Must have been important if he-" Sam stopped. Why was this affecting her so badly? She wasn't weak or any less of a soldier. If she hadn't resisted like she had, Mal'tek would have had his way. She was really no match for him, but she had bought herself time. And that had saved her, at least this round. But it had been close, _so_ close. Maybe she was bothered so much because she had never felt so helpless, violated, and humiliated all at once. Because she had _no_ control.

"Oh, God…" came the soft cry.

Immediately the tension in the room increased, if that were even possible. Their teammate and friend was distraught, and she was trying to suffer silently. After a brief moment of uncertainty, Jack took the initiative and stepped a hair closer to his friend.

"Carter?"

Her eyes shot up, meeting his. He saw her trying to maintain her good solider routine. He also saw her falling apart. No one spoke or moved. Her eyes were wide and searching, wanting to know what would be acceptable to her CO. Didn't she know he'd always be there for her? That they'd seen each other at their best and worst and he'd never think any less of her? She was asking, so he answered the best way he could.

"Come 'ere."

TBC in 'Calm Before The Storm'


	9. Calm Before the Storm

Ch. 8 Calm Before The Storm

Sam was hesitant to accept Jack's invitation. Then she leaned into him ever so slightly, allowing his arms to envelop her. At first she tensed. Not because she was wary of him, but because she hurt, all over. It had not been an easy day.

"I'm sorry, sir. I-"

"There's nothing to apologize for," he quieted her. Jack held her gently, being mindful of her possible injuries. Sam had not elaborated on what had happened in the time she was gone, and though he didn't know what injures she might be hiding, Jack knew it could have been much worse.

Sam didn't cry, not one tear. Nor did she move her arms from her chest. It was the two-for-one. She could receive comfort, yet still be Major Carter, USAF. Sam inhaled deeply, both to calm her still racing heart and to take comfort in Jack's gentle familiarity. Here she found safety, if only for a moment.

"Carter, I just want to be clear here. Whatever happens, we can't hide anything from each other. It's us against them. You're not alone in this."

Sam nodded, pulling back. She sent a weak smile to Daniel and Teal'c, who had given the two some space.

"So, uh, any injuries we need to know about?" Jack asked.

Sam shook her head. She certainly wasn't feeling her best, but it was her pride that had been injured most that day.

o-O-o

Teal'c's eyes traveled around their prison. They were inside a cave, and their cell wasn't perfectly square. In fact, it was anything but. There was even a small alcove, which they used as their 'facilities'. It wasn't much, but it provided at least a little privacy. In one corner there was a tiny puddle. Every so often, a drop of water would hit the placid surface, sending small ripples running outward. This would provide them with something to drink, if it became necessary.

His gaze settled on his teammates. He was proud of Sam, who continued to prove that she was a formidable warrior. Daniel had told her as much. He had said he'd admired that she'd still had the presence of mind to join in their fight after her ordeal. Sam had simply nodded. Teal'c had already decided he would kill Mal'tek where he stood, given the chance. However, he feared he might not get that opportunity. The others hadn't realized yet, but soon he would weaken without his Tretonin. He looked stoically ahead while listening to the conversation taking place.

"Tisiphone told me that as a female, she knew what could break a woman. What would be the most painful experience," Sam relayed to Daniel.

Jack stood close by, taking this in with a frown. Sam had obviously recovered from her experience enough to look at it somewhat objectively. Or maybe she _had_ to look at it that way. Sometimes that was the only way to get through things.

"Well, she didn't realize who she was dealing with," Daniel said, pride in his voice.

"Daniel, I don't think you understand. If we hadn't been, ah, interrupted," Sam cleared her throat uncomfortably, "the situation would have been completely different. Next time I won't be able to fight him off."

"There won't be a next time," Daniel replied confidently.

Sam looked down at her hands in an attempt to not let Daniel see her unease. "Unless we get out of here soon, he'll finish what he started," she said wincingly, knowing the First Prime's intentions.

"Okay, so there's a Stargate," Jack interjected. The mood was getting way too depressing.

"Yes, sir. I don't know exactly what was going on, but the First Prime was needed ASAP."

"Well, supposing we escape, how are we going to find it? We came here by ship. We have no idea where the gate is."

"I guess we have to assume it's in this compound. I mean, it can't be that far from her base of operations," Daniel suggested.

"That's not good enough," Jack groused, shaking his head. They needed more intel. It wouldn't matter if they escaped if they couldn't find the Stargate before someone found them.

"The Goa'uld have devices that are able to locate the Stargate," Teal'c informed them.

"Yeah," Daniel recalled thoughtfully.

"Hold on a second. They might not even have that kind of technology. These guys are way behind the times. They couldn't even save their precious Morpheus," Jack said, suppressing the urge to roll his eyes.

"I severed Morpheus in two, sir," Sam reminded him. "And even if Tisiphone has a sarcophagus, he'd been dead for a while by the time we arrived. I doubt he could have been saved."

"So Morpheus and Tisiphone would either have a sarcophagus or they'd change hosts every few hundred years," Daniel presumed.

"So basically we know nothing for sure," Jack stated. The rest of his team nodded. Jack crossed his arms. "Okay, so how about some dinner?"

o-O-o

SG-1 had finally gotten something to eat. It reminded them a lot of their meals on the ice planet where they had been slaves. While the others had eaten their share, Sam had poked at her meal. She'd claimed not to be hungry, but they hadn't eaten since before they'd gone on their mission. She'd finally taken a few bites just to get them off her back. However, they were right; she needed to eat to keep up her strength. They hadn't said it outright, but she'd known what they were thinking. _You're the one who's going to be tortured. You're the one who's going to have to fight for your life._ It had only served to make her sick to her stomach.

With only their jackets to keep them warm, they had tried to settle down to sleep in the cool cell. Teal'c and Jack leaned back to back, their shoulders and heads resting against the wall after they'd dozed off. Sam had found the most comfortable position was on her stomach. She lay not far from the men, her head resting lightly on folded arms. Daniel had taken first watch. All had been well until a barely audible whimper reached Daniel's ears.

He looked at his sleeping friends, specifically Sam. He and Jack had both had some bad nights while they had been a team. Sam, however, normally handled everything in stride, hiding her innermost feelings from them.

But not tonight.

Daniel crouched by her side, studying her face. Her eyes were squeezed tightly shut. Something definitely wasn't right.

"Daniel?" came Jack's tired voice.

"I think she's having a nightmare."

"Carter?" Jack asked in surprise. He glanced down, seeing her distress. "Carter," he said, shaking her lightly. No response. "Carter!"

Daniel barely managed to move out of the way as Sam sprang up. She looked at her arm where Jack had touched her, face contorted in fear and pain. She quickly rubbed her hand across her face, trying to clear her mind and gather herself together.

"Sam?" Daniel prodded softly. "A dream?"

"No. A memory," she responded, shaking her head.

"A memory?"

"Yeah, uh, Jolinar." She paused, biting her lip. "I keep seeing her with Bynarr. What she had to do to escape."

"Major Carter, we would never ask you to do such a thing, even if it meant our survival," the now awakened Teal'c said reassuringly. The others nodded in agreement.

"I know, I know. I just can't get the images out of my head."

"Carter, you're not her, and I won't let it happen. Like Teal'c said, even if Mal'tek was going to hand you the way outta here, I wouldn't even dream of asking you to sacrifice yourself like that."

"I know you wouldn't, sir. I don't think I could do what she did, even if I wanted to." Sam shivered. "Geez, it's cold in here."

"Yes, well, let's try to get some shuteye," Jack said, scooting over. He patted the area between he and Teal'c. "For warmth," he added.

Sam squeezed herself in between the two men, ignoring the soreness of her body. She knew she was probably black-and-blue, but she wasn't about to let her team know it. She'd grin and bear it. Sam pulled her legs to her chest, wrapping her arms tightly around them.

"Comfortable?" Jack asked incredulously.

"Not really," she admitted.

"Well, if Teal'c is too muscly for you, I make an all right pillow."

A small grin appeared on Sam's lips. She was so tired and still felt somewhat vulnerable. She knew Jack would keep her safe through the night, that she could slumber peacefully. So Sam made a decision to put her uncertainties aside and think about what she wanted.

"Okay."

Jack was surprised at her willingness to accept his offer. He nodded and pulled her towards him until her body was snug against him. This was for warmth after all. Tentatively, Sam sank into his embrace, attempting to push the day's events away. She found herself drifting off. With Daniel watching out for them, Teal'c's strong presence at her right, and Jack's warmth and familiarity, Sam slept soundly through the night.

The calm before the storm.

TBC in 'Help'


	10. Help

Ch. 9 Help

A long day had turned into a long night. Hammond had spent most of his time contacting allies. He would need all the help he could get. He'd sent word to Bra'tac, Jacob, and Thor.

The Asgard had been the only ones to reply. They would have a ship in the area of the planet in about a day. Hammond didn't know how much good it would do, but thanked them for their efforts.

SGs 3 and 5 had gone back to the planet to look for clues to his flagship team's fate. They had returned with only the photos of two dead Jaffa, both with different emblems on their foreheads. The least they could do is figure out what masters these Jaffa served.

Hammond couldn't deny he was frustrated. His team had more than likely been taken from the planet to only God knew where. SG-1 had defied everything, though, including death. He hoped this time would be no different.

The sudden gate activation startled the two-star general. He was up and down the stairs before the wormhole engaged. He stood next to Walter, waiting for an IDC.

"Sir, it's Master Bra'tac."

"Open the iris," Hammond ordered, heading down to the gate room.

Bra'tac exited the Stargate, followed closely by Rya'c.

"Master Bra'tac, Rya'c. Welcome," Hammond greeted.

"Hammond of Texas. What is the situation?"

"Please, come with me." The trio headed up to Hammond's office. Once everyone was seated, he began.

"SG-1 gated to P3X-149, a seemingly uninhabited planet. It was an exploratory mission only. Evidently, they ran into some Jaffa there."

"My father?" Rya'c asked worriedly.

"He's missing, along with the rest of SG-1. There was a firefight and it looks like they were taken from the planet. We did come across some dead Jaffa. We were hoping you could help us identify which Goa'uld they served. There were at least two distinct markings. We know it's a common practice for Jaffa to become loyal to another Goa'uld if their master falls in battle. However, we are having difficulty identifying either symbol."

Bra'tac nodded. "Perhaps a minor Goa'uld. Show us."

Hammond pulled open the manila file on his desk and pulled the two photographs out. He placed them in front of Rya'c and his master.

Bra'tac leaned forward, his dark eyes surveying the pictures and inspecting the black marks on the Jaffa's foreheads. He pointed to the one nearest him. "This one served Tem, a Goa'uld who fell in battle not long ago. I know of a free Jaffa with the same emblem. This other, I do not know," he told the general.

"This free Jaffa, is there a way you could contact him? Possibly find out who this other Goa'uld is? And how he escaped his or her service unlike his friend here?" Hammond inquired. He slipped the image of Tem's Jaffa back into the folder, then handed the photo of the still unknown Jaffa to Bra'tac.

"Indeed. Rya'c and I will attempt to gather this information."

"If you need me for anything el-"

"Don't worry, Rya'c. We'll find him," Hammond assured the young man.

"Thank you, sir." Rya'c looked to his master, who nodded quickly. They both seemed eager to discover the Jaffa's identity.

"We shall depart. We will return with news as soon as possible." Both Jaffa bowed to Hammond, who did the same.

As of that moment, Teal'c's mentor and son were SG-1's best hope.

TBC in 'Holding Out'


	11. Holding Out

Ch. 10 Holding Out

The day had started out quietly enough. Apparently Tisiphone had more important things to deal with than the Tau'ri.

Until now.

Sam struggled to stay on her feet as the Jaffa pulled her down the dimly lit hall. Her teammates weren't far behind, and that gave her some comfort. They reached the throne room and Sam was pushed down; she tried not to grimace as her knees met the stone floor. Looking up, she saw Tisiphone and Mal'tek…and the pain stick.

She'd known it was coming and was dreading it. Her only real experience with the device was through Jolinar's memories, and that hadn't been pleasant at all. The real thing was bound to be much worse. Still, no matter what, she wouldn't betray anyone.

"Samantha of the Tau'ri. We have won a great victory. Our numbers have grown with new Jaffa loyal to me. But I sense that you can help my empire immensely with your knowledge. Perhaps you can tell me what you were doing on the planet?"

"We're explorers. There's nothing more to tell," Sam said, knowing full well Tisiphone wouldn't buy it.

"Did you disable the weapon found there?"

"What weapon?"

"Do not try and fool me. My Jaffa saw you and your friends leave the temple." Tisiphone nodded to Mal'tak. He thrust the pain stick into her back.

Sam wasn't going to scream. She didn't want to give them the satisfaction.

So much for what she wanted.

Daniel cringed at Sam's cries. He would rather be taking the punishment than be subjected to this. Jack balled his fists as anger rose within him. Mal'tek was digging himself a hole that would be his grave, of that he was certain. Teal'c, though appearing completely unconcerned, was very much the opposite. He had been on both sides of the torture device, and would prefer neither experience again.

"I will ask you once more, why were you on the planet? What do you know of the weapon there?"

"Nothing! We'd just gotten there when your men showed up!"

"Very well. What Goa'uld did you serve?"

"I never served a Goa'uld. I never will," Sam replied defiantly.

Tisiphone frowned. "Such insolence. This will get you nowhere." She raised her hand device.

Sam could focus on nothing else as her head began to pound. It only lasted a few more moments before the questioning began again. Trying to clear her head, Sam heard her repeat the question.

"I know you were once a host! I sense it!"

An electric shock hit her stomach and Sam shouted out. She suddenly felt nauseous. One hand held her up, the other grasped her abdomen. Another current coursed through her body. Her own screams sounded foreign to her ears. Sam Carter didn't scream. She wanted to be strong in front of her team, but she was only human. Even they would cry out under such treatment.

"Human, I will get the information I need. One day you will break. This is only the punishment you will take for your friends. More will follow. You cannot save yourself, nor can they."

"You'll torture me no matter what! Even if I tell you what you want to know," Sam yelled.

Tisiphone smiled wickedly at Sam. "You are beginning to understand."

o-O-o

Daniel felt sick, like he was going to throw up. What he had witnessed disturbed him to his core. Such mercilessness. Such agony. Yet he was once again proud of his friend. Not once did she slip and give anything away. Sam had protected her friends and allies at no small cost to herself. Daniel glanced at Jack. He could feel the hatred radiating off of the man.

Jack hadn't been a quiet observer. He'd called Tisiphone and Mal'tek so many names and threatened them so many times he'd been zatted. It had hurt, but compared in no way to what Sam was enduring. She was so strong and so brave. All the feelings he had for her came exploding to the surface at times like this…all the unprofessional feelings he had for this amazing woman.

"Shol'va!" Tisiphone addressed Teal'c. The large Jaffa raised his eyebrow at her. "Come and take her." She gestured to the motionless woman at her feet. "Now!"

Teal'c moved forward slowly. He kneeled next to his fallen comrade, gently scooping her up in his arms. This Goa'uld was smart. Had he not had such precious cargo, he would have certainly attacked. No one treated his friends like this and lived long to talk about it.

Sam moaned in Teal'c's arms. "Major Carter, it is I. You are safe now." He could not tell if she was even cognizant, but he whispered the words of reassurance again.

SG-1 was marched down the hall, back toward their cell. Daniel watched Sam worriedly. He knew what a hand device could do to a person, as well as one of those sticks. She was lucky to be alive.

As soon as they reached their destination, Jack and Daniel threw off their jackets. Daniel laid his out like a blanket and Jack balled his up into a pillow. Teal'c lay Sam down lightly on the makeshift bed.

"Sam. Sam!" Daniel urged.

"Carter?"

"I believe she is unconscious, O'Neill."

Jack nodded. Sam's forehead was red, and sweat glistened on her face. Her shirt collar was drenched in perspiration. "Let's get her jacket off. The least we can do is make her comfortable."

Teal'c helped Jack remove Sam's jacket. There was a sharp intake of breath when Jack saw his 2IC's arms. There were bruises of varying colors, especially on her upper arms. It was from Jaffa dragging her through the forest and down hallways, from Mal'tek grabbing her roughly.

Jack was beyond angry. He had his mind made up to kill just about every snakehead and Jaffa in the galaxy. But that's when something else dawned on him.

"Teal'c, why didn't you say anything?"

The Jaffa cocked his head at him. "Of what are you referring to, O'Neill?"

"Junior! Tretonin! You don't have any!"

"There are more pressing matters at hand," Teal'c responded calmly.

"I know. But you are our best chance of getting out of here. We need you at one hundred percent."

"There is nothing we can do, O'Neill. Let us tend to Major Carter."

Jack nodded. This day just kept getting worse.

o-O-o

"Sir…"

It was faint, but they all heard it. Jack scooted closer. "Carter?"

"Thirsty," she whispered hoarsely. Sam opened her eyes slowly, focusing on her CO. She knew he was concerned, so she attempted a smile. It must have done the trick, because he smiled back.

Jack got up and looked down the passageway. No one. They probably wouldn't give them water anyway. He remembered the water that had dripped down into their cell. It would have to do. There wasn't much there, but it would be enough to wet her throat. He had nothing but his hand to scoop the water into. It wasn't exactly sanitary, but this water was probably cleaner than what came with their meals.

He made his way back to Sam, careful not to spill any of the precious liquid. Lifting her head up, he brought his hand to her lips.

"It's the best I can do," Jack apologized. Sam nodded in understanding and thanks, sipping the cool water.

The sensation of her lips on his skin sent his heart racing. It wasn't like he'd never touched her lips before. They'd kissed in the time loop, for crying out loud! But somehow, this was much more intimate. She lingered just a moment, then signaled she was done. He helped her settle down comfortably. Daniel and Teal'c sat close by.

"So…"

Sam looked at him wearily. "So?"

"You did good, Carter."

Sam would have snorted had she had the energy. "Good, sir?"

"Yeah, Sam. Good. You didn't give up anything," Daniel reassured her.

"Good. " Sam's eyes fluttered closed. She wondered how much of this she could take before she gave something up or her brain was completely fried. "Are you guys okay?" she asked, taking in each one's haggard appearance. Daniel and Jack were both sporting some stubble; Teal'c was hairless as always. It must take him a ridiculously long time to grow anything. They were dirty and tired, but Teal'c looked even wearier than the others. "Teal'c?"

"The effects of the Tretonin are wearing off, Major Carter."

Sam considered something a moment before she spoke. "How much Tretonin did you have with you?"

"If I ration, I will have enough for two weeks."

"Okay," she said, sitting up. She had to appear strong, in control, to even suggest this.

"Maybe they still have our gear, even your Tretonin."

"And, but, so, therefore?" Jack didn't see where she was going with this.

"Tisiphone doesn't hold a grudge against you. She more than likely wants you all alive. You're more valuable to her that way. Maybe there's a way I could convince her to give Teal'c his medicine."

"Carter…" Jack really didn't like this idea.

"Major Carter, I would not ask you to do such a thing," Teal'c told her.

"You didn't, Teal'c. When they bring our dinner, I'll ask to see her."

"No way, Carter. I don't want you subjecting yourself to any more of her crap than you have to."

"Sir. We have to do something or Teal'c will die."

"There has to be a better idea, Sam," Daniel put in.

Sam shrugged helplessly. They had until dinner to figure something out. She sank back down on the jackets, feeling pretty rotten.

"Carter, you okay?" Jack asked, worried about her sudden change in demeanor.

"No, sir," she replied honestly.

"Look, Carter. We do need to come up with a plan, but whatever you'd have to do to get the Tretonin wouldn't be a walk in the park."

"Yes, sir."

"Anyway, what happens after two weeks, when his supply runs out?"

"We won't be here," she answered with as much confidence as she could muster.

Jack smiled at her resolve. "How can you be so sure?"

"We're SG-1. We get into trouble, then out of it."

"Just like that?"

"Yes, sir."

"Yeah, we're SG-1. It's what we do."

TBC in 'Concern'


	12. Concern

Ch. 11 Concern

Dr. Janet Fraiser stood nervously outside of General Hammond's door. Walter had informed her Thor had beamed in. She was anxious to know any news concerning SG-1. She knocked lightly.

"Come."

Opening the door, she glanced around, looking for a small, gray alien. However, only the balding general was present.

"Sir?" Janet asked hopefully. Hammond's dismal appearance didn't give her much confidence.

"No life signs on the planet. No way to follow the Goa'uld's path."

Janet frowned as she looked at the floor. When SG-1 had failed to check in, red flags had gone up. Everything that could be done was being done. Still, Janet felt powerless. "Is there anything I can do, sir?"

"No, Doctor. Not now anyway. I honestly don't know what to do, unless the Tok'ra can be of help or Master Bra'tac has news. We just have to hope and pray they're alive and can get themselves out of this mess."

Janet didn't reply; she only nodded. She knew Hammond was frustrated. They all were. SG-1 had departed on a seemingly normal mission. Then they had disappeared with few clues to their whereabouts. SG-1 was special to her, she wouldn't deny it. Sam was her close friend. Daniel was, well, Daniel, and everybody loved him. Teal'c wasn't intimidating if you knew him, and even Jack, the pain he could be, meant something to her.

"All right, sir. Just let me know."

Hammond nodded to his CMO. Janet stepped out of the room and went to find Walter.

o-O-o

Walter was perched in his chair, staring blankly at the computer screen. The SGC had been hectic with SG-1's disappearance. Walter had been on edge all day, waiting for an unscheduled offworld activation. There hadn't been one…yet.

He had grown fond of SG-1 over the years, especially Major Carter. After all, he worked with her the most. Walter had seen them come back through the gate in many different states. He liked his position in the control room, especially when he knew how dangerous it was to be on a SG team.

Walter glanced up as Dr. Fraiser approached.

"Nothing," she reported, jamming her hands into the pockets of her lab coat.

Walter sighed. "Well, they went missing only yesterday. Maybe they need more time. Maybe we're overreacting."

"I don't know. I just have a bad feeling about this."

Silence fell on the control room until a spark from the room below caught their attention.

"Siler," the two said in unison. Janet headed down the stairs.

"Keep me posted!"

"You too!"

TBC in 'All Through The Night'

I didn't realize how freakishly short this chapter was! So, I've immediately posted another chapter…please continue!


	13. All Through the Night

Ch. 12 All Through the Night

"What is Tretonin?" Dinner had come and, surprisingly, Tisiphone along with it.

"Tretonin is like a medicine. Teal'c no longer has a symbiote, so the Tretonin takes its place," Sam explained.

"It is the shol'va's fault for being unfaithful to his god," Tisiphone responded, folding her arms across her chest.

Sam sighed. "Look, Teal'c hasn't done anything to you. He helped rid you of Cronus." Sam had to watch what she said. She didn't want to give Tisiphone any ideas, like saving Teal'c only for him to be traded to another Goa'uld.

Tisiphone looked thoughtfully at Teal'c. "You would be worth more to me alive. I will see about this Tretonin, as you call it."

"Thank you," Sam replied, relieved. She glanced at her teammates, who seemed shocked.

Tisiphone left, guards trailing her.

"Well, that was easy," Daniel commented.

"Yeah, a little too easy if you ask me," Jack said in agreement.

Sam nodded. They'd just have to wait and see.

o-O-o

Jack stared at the ceiling as he tried to catch some shuteye. The Tretonin had come. Teal'c had checked it for tampering, then taken just enough to sustain him. He was resting and Daniel was keeping watch.

But Jack couldn't sleep. Sam lay next to him, tossing and turning. He was about to ask her what the problem was when she sat up.

"Sorry, sir," she apologized as she glanced down at him. "I can't get comfortable."

Jack nodded in understanding. She'd been using her team's jackets as a pillow and blanket, but the floor was still very hard. "It's okay. It's not exactly the Ritz."

"It's not that, sir," Sam informed him, getting to her feet. Jack finally noticed the discomfort on her face.

"What?" he asked softly, sitting up.

"Nothing I can't handle, sir."

"I didn't ask you if you could handle it, Carter. What's wrong?" Jack asked again.

Sam rubbed the back of her neck. She should have kept her mouth shut. "I'm just a little nauseous."

"Sam?" Daniel spoke up. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine," she replied confidently.

Daniel shot a look at Jack. He didn't believe it either. "Go to sleep, Jack. I've got watch. Sam and I will…talk."

Jack's brow creased. He didn't like it at all, but he knew Sam wouldn't approve of him fussing over her. Maybe she'd tell Daniel something, and he could hit him up for information later. "Fine. You two…talk." He rolled over and closed his eyes, knowing sleep would not come.

Sam stood next to Daniel, her head leaning on the cool rock. It felt a bit better. She'd tried to rest but the room had gotten stuffy and her stomach had started to hurt. Just a little twinge at first, then a constant, dull ache. Soon after, Sam had nixed the idea of sleep. She felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up.

"Sam, really, what is it?" Daniel wondered, concern filling his voice.

Sam shrugged. "I don't know. It's nothing to worry about."

"All right," Daniel nodded slowly. "But you don't have to hide anything from me."

"I know that, Daniel. I ju-" Sam stopped abruptly as a sharp pain ripped through her abdomen. She doubled over, breath catching in her throat, hand clutching her stomach.

"Sam!" Daniel cried out in alarm. At his shout, Jack and Teal'c were up in an instant.

"'Nothing I can't handle?' For crying out loud, Carter! What's going on?" Jack shouted, upset.

Sam let out a shaky breath as the pain subsided. "Sir, I don't know what's wrong," she snapped.

"Give her a break, Jack!" Daniel said, glaring at the older man.

"Major Carter, are you ill?" Teal'c asked.

"I…I don't feel very well." Sam walked gingerly back to her sleeping area, sinking to the floor.

The three men held back, giving her some room.

"How so, Major Carter?"

"All this," Sam waved her hand over her chest and stomach, "hurts," came the simple reply.

"Perhaps Tisiphone's doing?" Teal'c put forward.

"No, it couldn't be…could it?" Daniel worried.

"Could be. Carter, she may have tampered with your food."

"What, like food poisoning, Jack?"

"Something along those lines, Daniel," Jack replied, watching his 2IC closely. She was staring at the wall, jaw firm. "Carter?"

"I'll be okay." She didn't know why she kept saying that when she wasn't certain it was true. Sam took a few deep breaths, trying to suppress the nauseous feeling threatening to overtake her.

All heads turned to the hallway as the familiar clink of Jaffa armor passed by. Bringing up the rear was Mal'tek. He paused at their cell.

"You," he stated, looking intently at Sam. "We are not done yet."

"Hey," Jack fumed, stepping closer to the bars. "You come near her, I'll kill you. You know what? You're already dead!"

Sam's eyes widened at the deadly tone of Jack's voice. It scared her and comforted her at the same time.

Mal'tek shifted his gazed nonchalantly to Jack. "I am following the orders of my goddess. Do you not follow orders where you are from?"

"Yes, but I would never do that!" Jack yelled heatedly.

"Not even if she was as desirable as Samantha?" Mal'tek gestured toward Sam.

Jack's eyes darted to his friend, who looked like she was about to lose her dinner. "I would _never_ force myself on a woman."

"You are a disgrace to all Jaffa," Teal'c said, voice low, but strong.

Mal'tek raised his eyebrow. "As are you, shol'va. As are you."

o-O-o

Sam and Teal'c watched as Jack paced back and forth, occasionally beating against the bars of their prison. Daniel was trying to calm him, but to no avail.

"I wish he'd stop," Sam sighed. She sat on top of her makeshift bed. Sleep really wasn't an option anymore.

"He is only concerned for your well being, Major Carter," Teal'c responded gently.

"I know, but I can ta-" Sam paused, realizing the pointlessness of the statement she was about to make. "I'm not his responsi-" Okay, that wouldn't work either.

"Are you feeling better?" Teal'c asked.

"Not really," Sam told him as her stomach cramped again. "I think it'll get worse before it gets better," she grimaced.

"I am sorry for the actions of Mal'tek. Not all Jaffa would do something so dishonorable. Though Jaffa are often called upon to do detestable things in the name of their god, his intentions are far worse."

Sam bobbed her head in understanding. "It's not your fault, Teal'c. If anything, it's mine. I don't want you guys to feel guilty." Sam jumped as Jack pounded against the bars. "I guess that's too much to ask," she said softly as she watched the colonel pace.

"O'Neill is frustrated," Teal'c said, stating the obvious. "He wishes to save you from this fate."

"We'll save each other, Teal'c. Just like we always do. I know it doesn't seem possible now, but…we will."

Teal'c bowed his head slightly in her direction.

Indeed.

o-O-o

Daniel watched as Sam's chest rose and fell with each deep breath. Using his bandanna, he wiped the sweat from her forehead.

At times she seemed fine and only slightly uncomfortable. Then the pain would hit her. She'd described the feeling as stomach cramps, which Daniel supposed was a PG description. It looked a lot worse than just 'stomach cramps'. Sam's condition had slowly been deteriorating, with the pains getting stronger and lasting for a longer time.

Sam rested her cheek against the floor; it was damp and cool, and she was burning up. Her arm wrapped around her stomach, dreading the next spasm. Daniel was now hovering protectively over her. It seemed her teammates were taking turns keeping watch over her.

"Sam?" came Daniel's anxious voice.

"It's, ah, okay. Ugh…" Whatever Tisiphone had slipped her, it was certainly doing a great job of incapacitating her. She was beginning to feel queasy again, but Sam refused to give in.

Turning over to look at Daniel, Sam squeezed her eyes shut. Moving was bad, very bad. She willed herself not to cry. She could handle a little stomachache. Though, looking up at Daniel's compassionate face didn't help steel her resolve.

"You don't have to play the good soldier around me, Sam. Not around any of us, including Jack. If you want to cry, cry," Daniel whispered to her.

Sam choked back a sob. He really did know her too well. She nodded, blinking rapidly. Sam tried to focus on Daniel's face, and he smiled tenderly at her.

"I'm here for you."

"Not always."

Daniel eyed her curiously as he found her hand. "What do you mean?" he asked, squeezing lightly.

"When you ascended. You wanted to leave, to…to experience something of cosmic significance, whatever. But it's what you _wanted_. You wanted to leave us, and I was angry. I wanted you here."

"Sam, I-"

"Please, let me finish. I realized maybe I was being selfish. All things considered, if you hadn't ascended, we'd probably have lost you forever. I understand that now. But at the time, I was angry and lonely. The colonel, and Teal'c to a certain extent...they gave me that way of the warrior crap. That was one of the hardest years of my life." Sam could feel another contraction, for lack of a better word, coming. She grasped Daniel's hand as it overtook her.

Daniel held on tightly, helping her through it. "It's okay, Sam. You're not alone. Not now, not ever."

o-O-o

Tears and sweat intermingled on Sam's cheeks. Jack wiped her face gently with Daniel's bandanna. She was curled up in a ball, turned slightly away from him. Jack knew Sam didn't want him to see her like this. _He_ didn't want to see her like this. But here they were.

The pain must have been intense if Sam was crying. Jack had seen her injured in many ways, but never to the point where she'd cried so openly in his presence. It wasn't outright sobbing, but a quiet suffering that only made the situation a hundred times worse. She still thought she had to endure it alone. Maybe he'd only reinforced the strong soldier routine by pulling away from her, by doing his own way of the warrior bit. He wasn't good at letting people in either.

Jack moved so he could see her better. Immediately Sam's hand went to cover her face. Still, her shoulders heaved, giving her away.

"Carter. Carter…" Jack grasped her hand, pulling it away. Her palm was slick against his and he squeezed reassuringly. However, she wouldn't meet his eyes. Jack remembered in Antarctica Sam had talked to him, to keep his focus on something other than his injuries.

"So, Carter…any new doohickeys waiting for you back in the lab?" It did the trick. She looked up at him quizzically.

"Uh…yes…sir," she managed. "SG-8 brought back a de-" Her eyes screwed shut and she gasped in pain. He had to help her focus.

"SG-8 brought back a device?"

"Yeah…"

"What's it do?"

"Don't kno-" He was losing her again.

"Well, any ideas?" he asked a bit louder, trying to keep her attention. He didn't want her to drown in the pain. He didn't even want Sam to lose consciousness, though it might be sweet relief for her. What if she never woke up? Jack needed to see her awake, to assure himself she would be fine.

He was able to keep her talking for a while longer, able to keep her blue eyes focused on him. He began to worry when she no longer responded, even after ordering her to answer him.

Daniel and Teal'c stood close by, afraid for their friend and teammate. Sam's lips parted slightly and whispered where only Jack could hear.

"It hurts, sir. I just want it to stop."

"Just a little longer. You can do this, Carter."

"No, sir-" Sam's voice broke into a sob as the stabbing pains overwhelmed her.

Holding her hand tightly and coaxing her with comforting words, Jack found a flood of memories washing over him. Memories of being in the same position with Sara as she was bringing their son into the world. That _so_ wasn't the thing to be thinking. This was different. _Way _different.

Sam was grasping his hand so strongly that he was losing feeling in his fingers. He didn't care. Jack was frustrated that there was nothing he could do to lessen her anguish. If she wanted to squeeze the life out of his hand, he was more than willing to let her.

o-O-o

The pain began to ebb close to dawn, at least what they thought was dawn. The night's events were somewhat hazy, but Sam clearly remembered that Jack, Daniel, and Teal'c had been with her the whole time. Never in her life had Sam felt so horrible. She'd even entertained the thought that death was preferable to what she was enduring. The knowledge that Tisiphone would only make her suffering worse did not leave her optimistic. Had it not been for her team and their care for her, Sam wouldn't have wanted to make it through the night. But they had given her strength and hope.

Around mid-morning Sam felt well enough to try and get some rest. There was no arguing that she was exhausted. Curled into the crook of Daniel's arm, Sam closed her eyes, hoping to find reprieve in sleep. But as the group heard Jaffa coming closer, they realized it wasn't meant to be.

TBC in 'Spreading The Word'


	14. Spreading the Word

Ch. 13 Spreading the Word

"Master Bra'tac," Hammond welcomed his ally.

The Jaffa did not seem pleased as he marched down the ramp, boots clanging against the metal slope. The glittering wormhole dissipated behind him. "I only wish I were here with better news. Ja'len, the free Jaffa, could not be found. I have asked others as well. None know of this symbol."

Hammond frowned at the disheartening information Bra'tac was relaying. "How is it possible that no one knows who this Jaffa served?"

"One could assume it is a new Goa'uld rising to power. Though there are fewer System Lords now, there are even more minor Goa'uld trying to gain control. To keep record of them all would be an impossible task," Bra'tac told the general.

"Well, it certainly appears as though this particular Goa'uld is up and coming. Apparently, he defeated Tem. Perhaps we'll hear more in the near future and get a new lead," Hammond replied.

Bra'tac nodded in agreement. "Rya'c and I wi-"

The blaring of the klaxons drowned out the former First Prime.

"Unscheduled off world activation! Unscheduled off world activation!" Harriman's voice boomed through the speakers.

Hammond tilted his face upwards, to the control room. "Who is it?" he demanded, a bit more harshly than he had intended. His hopes were that it was SG-1. If not them, then someone with news. He was running out of options.

"It's the Tok'ra," Walter replied, looking down upon the general and Bra'tac.

Hammond nodded his approval, and Walter opened the iris. It slid open, revealing the gleaming event horizon. A few moments later, Jacob Carter stepped out onto the ramp.

"George," he greeted, shaking his old friend's hand. His gaze turned to Bra'tac, inquisitive. "Bra'tac. What's going on?"

"Let's go upstairs, Jacob."

"Okay. I'm sorry it took so long to get back to you. Things have been hectic. I'll tell you about it sometime. Though something tells me we have bigger problems now," Jacob said, noticing the tired and worried expression on his comrade's face.

Hammond settled into his chair, while Jacob and Bra'tac sat across from him.

"SG-1 is missing." Hammond hated telling this man his only daughter was lost somewhere in the vast galaxy, probably captured by a ruthless Goa'uld. The only thing that made him feel better was that he knew she had three good men backing her up.

"What? How?"

"Two days ago SG-1 went to P3X-149 on a routine mission. They missed their radio check in. When SG-3 went to the planet, they discovered there had been a firefight. According to the Asgard, SG-1 is no longer on the planet. All we found were dead Jaffa." Hammond handed Jacob pictures of the emblems. "This one served Tem. This one we cannot determine." He watched as Jacob took in the information and perhaps had an internal conversation with Selmak. Then his head dipped, indicating the symbiote had taken over.

"This symbol belongs to a Goa'uld I have only a vague recollection of. It has been many years since I have seen it, but this is the symbol of Morpheus. He disappeared long ago. I believe there was a falling out between he and Cronus, and that his disappearance may be related to that, but that is all the knowledge I have," Selmak informed them.

"Did Cronus not perish at the hands of the Tau'ri?" Bra'tac questioned.

"More or less," Hammond said, recalling the robotic SG-1. "Are you suggesting this Morpheus is out and about now since Cronus is no longer around?"

"It is a possibility," Selmak concurred.

Bra'tac nodded his head sharply. "It could very well explain why none of the Jaffa know of this Goa'uld. He is only just beginning to show his power to this generation."

"Well, I'd say this is a lead, but it's not leading us anywhere. At least we know who took them. We can only hope this Morpheus rears his head again." Hammond glanced at Jacob. "Don't worry, we'll find Sam."

Jacob sighed deeply. "I know we will. We're going to have half the galaxy on the lookout for them."

Hammond nodded, his eyes traveling from Jacob to Bra'tac.

"Spread the word."

TBC in 'Being There'


	15. Being There

Ch. 14 Being There

Daniel couldn't take it anymore. He just couldn't. Sam had been brought before Tisiphone again. It was the same as the day before. The hand device and pain stick were being used to assault his friend.

Sam hadn't been able to hold out for long. She was already extremely weak from the long night before. Daniel had thought the screaming had been horrible, but the whimpers now coming from Sam were heartbreaking.

"Stop!" Daniel yelled. "Please, stop!" He struggled against the guards that held him. "Tisiphone, please. Listen to me!"

Tisiphone raised her hand to Mal'tek, motioning the torture stick down. Sam rolled to her side, trying desperately to catch her breath. "What do you wish to say, Daniel Jackson?" she asked, putting a hand on her hip.

"Please. Don't punish only her. I deserve some of the blame. Please, let me take her place."

"Daniel, I do not wish to torture you. You will be useful to me in the future. I will not have this discussion with any of you again. You may not take her place, but you will be made to watch as part of her punishment." Tisiphone glanced down, her dark eyes studying Sam. "That is enough for today." She nodded curtly before leaving the room.

Once again, Teal'c carried Sam back to their prison. Daniel followed behind, guilt written all over his features. Jack came last, quiet and sullen. And once more, they all felt helpless.

After Teal'c lay Sam down, Daniel ran over. "Sam? I tried…I'm sorry I can't stop her." He gently placed his hand on her shoulder. "Sam?"

"Don't touch me," she moaned.

"It's me, Sam. Daniel."

"Don't care."

Daniel pulled back, obviously hurt.

"Danny, just…just give her some space. It's nothing personal," Jack told the upset man. Sam's entire body was no doubt sensitive from the torture; she wouldn't want anyone touching her for a while.

Daniel sighed, moving away from Sam. "I'd do anything to take her place. Anything."

"As would we all, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c solemnly replied.

"What do we do, then? We can't let Tisiphone keep doing this." Daniel's eyes drifted back to Sam, who hadn't moved. "I know Sam's strong, but how long can she take this? What if Mal'tek comes back for her? What if-"

"Daniel!" Jack snapped. He already felt he was letting Sam down in every possible way, and Daniel was just driving the point home. But what _could_ they do? They'd tried to get away, but that had failed. Now they were guarded by even more Jaffa, lessening future chances of escape. Their cell was impenetrable; they'd all looked for weaknesses in its design and found none. Things certainly seemed bleak.

"Look, all we can do is be there for her," he finally said.

"'Be there for her'? Then why didn't you say anything back there with Tisiphone?" Daniel shot back, his eyes narrow behind his glasses.

Jack moved into Daniel's personal space, annoyance rising. "What good would it have done? I _am_ being there for her, in the best way I know how."

Daniel shook his head. "Jack, don't just play the concerned CO. Don't let your reservations get in the way. What's more important now? Her or some ridiculous rules?"

"Oh, then you think things will be better? I'm not the only one here adhering to those 'ridiculous' rules. Do you really think she'll let down her guard any more than she already has?" Jack leaned in closer, looking Daniel in the eye. "Right now she has more reason than ever to put on her good soldier face. She wants to be strong, even in front of you, Daniel."

Daniel opened his mouth as if to reply, but quickly shut it again.

"I'm doing the best I can here, Daniel. I can't promise I won't let anything happen to her; none of us can, no matter how badly we want to. But I'm _not_ going to let her waste away here. We'll find a way out."

"How?"

Jack looked at the archaeologist, in some ways still young and innocent. He wished he had an answer for him. There were a lot of things Jack wished, but through the years he had found most wishes didn't come true.

o-O-o

Time passed slowly for SG-1. The three men had bounced escape plans off of each other, each one being dissected and found to be ineffective. Sam hadn't moved for the longest time. Either she was asleep or drifting in and out of consciousness, they didn't know which. She was currently curled up in a fetal position with Teal'c's jacket resting lightly over her shoulders. They were all worried about her. She was so still and quiet, but they gave her the space they were sure she needed.

Finally, their dinner came. They were each handed their bowls and cups of water. Sam's was set on the floor. Jack wasn't sure if it had been tampered with again or not, but he was taking no chances. Sam wouldn't be eating out of that bowl tonight. He and Daniel looked on as Teal'c approached Sam.

"Major Carter," Teal'c prodded gently. No response. Teal'c spoke again, this time with more urgency. "Major Carter."

Her eyes fluttered open and she was rewarded with one of Teal'c's rare smiles.

"Teal'c?"

The large man bowed. "It is good to see and hear you. We have been concerned for you, Major Carter."

Sam still seemed to be in a daze. She looked to Jack and Daniel, then back to Teal'c. She struggled to sit up, and Teal'c assisted her. She leaned back against his firm body. "I'm sorry. Things are kind of a blur right now." Sam rubbed her forehead and winced.

"Major Carter, you need to eat," Teal'c told her, offering her his dinner. Sam shook her head in defiance. "You need not worry. This food is untainted."

She still refused. "I'm not hungry."

"That may be so, but you must eat. If your body is weak, your mind will follow soon after. You have to remain strong against Tisiphone. Do not let her break you, Major Carter. _Do not_."

"I…" Sam glanced down at the gruel. It was not appetizing, but Teal'c was right. One meal a day wasn't enough for any person, and certainly not for someone in her position. She took the bowl. "I'll try," she promised. Teal'c nodded in approval.

"Here, T. Take mine. You need to keep your strength up, too," Jack said, offering his food to Teal'c. "Don't worry. Daniel will share. Right?" he asked, smiling hopefully at his teammate.

"Sure."

"Very well." Teal'c took the bowl and settled next to Sam, still supporting her. He began to eat, and after a moment, Sam began picking at hers.

Jack and Daniel, satisfied with Teal'c and Sam's progress, started to eat as well. Dinner was silent for the most part, with the occasional sarcastic "Mmmmmm…." from Jack.

"So, Carter. We've been thinking of ways to get out of here and failing miserably. Any ideas?"

Sam frowned. "Um…" She found herself having a difficult time concentrating. This was only their third day, or so she thought, and Sam really felt like she couldn't take it much longer. She didn't like to admit that. Perhaps it was her tired, not to mention scrambled, brain speaking. Maybe after some decent sleep, she would have a more positive outlook. And she _was_ tried. Very much so.

"Carter?" she heard her CO's apprehensive voice.

"Sorry, sir." She didn't dare tell him she couldn't think straight. That would definitely worry him. Sam knew they were all concerned for her, but she didn't want to give them more ammunition. That would be hard to do in her nearly incapacitated state. "I'm fine, sir," she stated firmly.

Jack sighed. "Carter. Don't give me that crap."

Sam was shocked at his bluntness. "Sir…"

"You are a very strong person, Sam. And as your CO, and most importantly your friend, I am very proud of how you've handled yourself. But, I will say this again. We are in this _together_. And I…" Jack paused. "I admit I've not been…I've uh…"

"I understand, and it's okay."

Jack's eyes met Sam's. Did she really understand what he wanted to say? Probably.

She always did.

o-O-o

Sam lifted her head as she heard the familiar clank of approaching Jaffa. She groaned inwardly. She'd gotten a bit of quality sleep, but she was still worn out.

The men of SG-1 were immediately alert. They wanted to protect her, but it was futile. It would be the same drill every day until they escaped or she… Sam didn't want to finish the thought.

No one uttered a word as they made their way towards Tisiphone's throne room. The priming of a staff weapon caught everyone's attention. The firing of it sent everyone into confusion.

TBC in 'Resilience'


	16. Resilience

Thanks to all who have read and reviewed. I appreciate it very much! I hope you stick with it…even if you must read this chapter with half covered eyes!

Ch. 15 Resilience

Jack instinctively ducked at the sound of a staff blast. "Down!" he called to his team. He soon found Sam huddled next to him, her hand lightly clasping his wrist. Another shot breezed past as Jack reached for Daniel, who had been slower to react. Too slow, in fact. He fell into Jack with an "Omph."

"Daniel!" Sam cried.

The staff fire subsided as Jack turned Daniel over, the smell of burned flesh filling his nostrils. Blood seeped from a wound in his side. Jack looked up angrily, surveying his surroundings. Teal'c hovered above him and three Jaffa stood guarding them. Mal'tek was stooped next to a fallen Jaffa, a scowl on his face.

"What was that?" Jack yelled as Daniel groaned in pain next to him.

"Silence, human," Mal'tek commanded.

"What is this?"

All heads turned towards Tisiphone, who had just arrived on the scene.

"Tisiphone, this Jaffa was still loyal to his original master. Shol'va. He turned against us, but was quickly disposed of."

"Faithful to Tem, I see. Very good, Mal'tek." The Goa'uld turned her attention to the fallen archaeologist.

"Please, Tisiphone, help him." Sam wasn't pleading, but she wasn't far from it as she watched Daniel struggle to stay conscious.

Tisiphone said nothing, but crossed her arms.

"For cryin' out loud! You can't keep your own Jaffa under control! Daniel did nothing to deserve this!" Jack argued.

"You said you had nothing against them," Sam said, motioning at her teammates. "You said you'd leave them alone. Please help him if you can. I'll take the blame if you have to assign it somewhere. Just please don't let him die. _Please_," Sam begged.

"You would do whatever was necessary for this man, would you not?"

"He would do the same for me. You know that," Sam responded, rising to her feet.

Tisiphone nodded. "Mal'tek, take this one. Samantha, you will come with me. Return the others to their cell."

Jack was about to object, but the look Sam sent him silenced him quickly. It simply said_ trust me_.

o-O-o

Sam watched over Daniel as Tisiphone placed the healing device on her hand. He was drifting in and out of consciousness. As scared as she was, she was relieved he was getting help. She would pay whatever price to make sure Daniel was okay.

Mal'tek stood guard as Tisiphone closed her eyes and began to heal Daniel.

"Sam?" he moaned.

"I'm right here," she replied, grabbing his hand. "You're going to be fine."

"Yeah," he said, looking distrustfully at Tisiphone.

After a minute more, the Goa'uld opened her eyes and looked down at her handiwork. "It is done. Mal'tek, return Daniel to his cell. I wish to speak with Samantha."

The First Prime nodded and soon the two women found themselves alone.

"Thank you," Sam said earnestly.

"Do not think this comes without a price. Once I have decided what should be done with you, you may regret your actions."

Sam bit her tongue. She didn't, and wouldn't, regret anything she'd done so far, including killing Tisiphone's mate. Not if it meant her team stayed alive.

"Samantha, you pique my curiosity. You are a human from Earth, once blended. Not only that, you are a woman who claims to be a warrior and scholar. I wish to know more about you."

"There's not much more to know."

"On the contrary. I believe there is much more."

Sam sighed. "_What_ exactly do you want to know?"

"Which Goa'uld you were once a host to. It is a simple question, Samantha."

Not so simple. Sam could never reveal that she had been a host to a Tok'ra. She would not put them at risk. She didn't respond.

"Mal'tek tells me you are a fighter. That you do not make things simple for him," Tisiphone said, walking in a circle around the human. "He does nothing he knows I would not approve of."

Sam felt sick at her words, but she did not give the Goa'uld the satisfaction of knowing so. Her eyes stared straight ahead.

"You are a scholar, Samantha?" Tisiphone came to stand back in front of Sam. She looked up, her brown eyes piercing blue. "What knowledge do you have of the universe that can help me?"

When Sam still didn't reply, Tisiphone sighed in annoyance. "My patience wears thin. You are well aware that there is no reprieve for you. Why do you not tell me what I wish to know?" the smaller woman asked, frowning.

"Because whether I tell you or not, the outcome is the same."

"That is true. But how many more days of torture can you endure? You will give in one day. It is inevitable."

"Maybe, maybe not."

"You test me," Tisiphone grumbled, rubbing her temple. "Samantha, I do not believe you understand your transgression."

Sam simply raised an eyebrow.

"Morpheus, whom you have murdered, was my mate for over one thousand of your Earth years. You cannot imagine what I felt for him. _You cannot_!" The small woman was livid.

Sam was now realizing just how much trouble she was in. She and Morpheus had been together for a millennium, and in a split second, Sam had taken all that away from Tisiphone. This Goa'uld had every reason to want her to suffer.

"I have been exceedingly patient with you and not tortured you to the fullest extent. I need you for your knowledge, and your pathetic human body cannot take the strain of the agony I wish I could inflict on you. But, we do have the rest of your life." A small, eerie smile crept along Tisiphone's lips.

Sam swallowed, but otherwise gave no visible sign of the dread building in the pit of her stomach.

"Jaffa!" Tisiphone called. Immediately Mal'tek appeared. She spoke quickly to him in Goa'uld, Sam able to make out only a few words. Then she left the room, clearly still irritated.

"You will come with me, Samantha," Mal'tek announced, grasping her arm tightly.

Sam let out a gasp of surprise as he pulled her down the hall. When they didn't head in the direction of her cell, her heart began to race. She didn't like this, not at all. Then Sam realized the rings were this way. Why would Mal'tek be taking her there?

They came to the ring platform and soon found themselves on the surface. Sam squeezed her eyes shut. She hadn't seen the sun for days. She slowly opened them, adjusting her eyes to the sunlight. She found Mal'tek watching her.

"In all my travels as First Prime, I do not believe I have ever seen a woman such as you. Golden hair and eyes the color of the sky. You are unique, Samantha."

Sam looked at him warily. What was she supposed to say? Thank you?

"Tisiphone wishes for you to look at the device found on the planet you were captured on."

"What?" Sam asked, stunned.

"It was brought here on an Alkesh. You have great knowledge Samantha. She wishes for you to discover its use."

"I don't ha-"

"Tisiphone is confident you will not do anything foolish. Your friends' lives are in your hands." The Jaffa pointed with his staff. "This way."

Sam craned her neck around, looking back. They had been in some kind of underground network. She'd known that, but looking at the terrain, you wouldn't. With only a few rolling hills, one would never know what lay beneath. It was a perfect hiding spot for a Goa'uld wanting to rise to power.

She turned back around when Mal'tek prodded her. There was a dense forest ahead of them, with a winding path slicing through it. They traveled along for a few minutes, Sam realizing just how sore she really was. It wasn't long before the path split. They kept going straight, but Sam tried to catch a peek of what was down the other trail.

She barely caught a glance, but she was sure of what she saw. The path only ran a short way until it came to a clearing. And she had seen a DHD, and presumably not far from that would be a Stargate.

o-O-o

Sam sighed, frustrated. There was no way she was going to figure out the device. She didn't have the right tools, and it would certainly help if Daniel could translate some of the writing.

What made matters worse was that she felt Mal'tek's gaze boring into her. Though it was completely unnerving her, she tried her best to hide it. She hated being there alone with him…_hated_ it. She remembered all too well what their last encounter had been like.

She tensed as she felt him move closer. "Samantha. I am getting impatient."

"I'm sorry, but there is nothing more I can do," Sam said, turning to face Mal'tek, finding him closer than she'd realized. She stood her ground, refusing to cower away. "Look, I don't have what I need to fix this, if it's even salvageable."

"Very well. I believe you." His gaze was fixated on her. "I am impatient in more than one regard."

From the look in his eye, Sam knew exactly what he meant, and it was exactly what she'd been dreading. She sidestepped the machine, giving herself room to flee, but Mal'tek grabbed her arm.

"You are not going anywhere, Samantha."

Sam's heart raced. She'd resigned herself to the fact that this was going to happen. Truthfully, it had always been in the back of her mind. As much as she wanted to tell herself she could protect herself, she knew she couldn't. But she wouldn't go down without a fight.

"Mal'tek," she began. Maybe she could reason with him. The last time had been too sudden and violent, too much of a shock for her to do anything. As of yet, the man hadn't moved. She pressed on. "Do you have a wife?"

The Jaffa looked at her with a frown. "What?"

"Are you married?" Sam asked again.

"I was at one time. Lai'el died long ago."

"I'm sorry," Sam replied honestly. "But please, think about what you're doing. Imagine another Jaffa taking advantage of her. What would you have felt? What would you have done?"

"I would have killed the Jaffa with my bare hands," Mal'tek told her, fingers digging deeper into her already bruised arm.

"Then tell me why you'd want to inflict that on anyone else."

"Samantha, you will not dissuade me. I am following my goddess' orders."

"It's not the right thing to do." Sam was on the verge of begging him to rethink his decision.

"It is what Tisiphone wishes. You have killed Morpheus and deserve punishment in every way imaginable. Tisiphone will see to that. However, if I am to receive a small amount of pleasure from it, so be it," he leered. Mal'tek reached up with his free hand and smoothed Sam's hair from her face. "You are beautiful."

She took the opportunity given to her. Her knee shot up and her fist went flying. There was a satisfying crunch as Sam's knee connected with Mal'tek. There would have been more of an impact had there not been armor, but it caught him off guard nonetheless. Her fist managed to land on his cheek, causing him to release his hold on her arm. In the split second he was distracted, Sam made a dive for his zat.

Her hand had just closed around the weapon when an armored knee plowed into her stomach. Sam stumbled back, very nearly losing her footing.

Mal'tek grabbed hold of her hair, yanking her fully upright. "What are you doing? You cannot win, Samantha! I thought we had already discussed that." He pulled her towards him, kissing her roughly. Sam struggled to get away, but the more she tried, the harder he tugged on her hair. She finally managed to turn her face away, breathing heavily. This resistance was met with a blow that sent her careening to the floor.

Her mind screamed for her to get up. She knew if he got her down, she wasn't going to get up, not until it was all over. Sam sensed him come near and tried to get to her feet. Instead he pushed her down, his knuckles connecting with her face. Her head rocked back against the hard, cold floor of the Alkesh.

For a second Sam thought she was going to black out, but Mal'tek had only intended to incapacitate her for a few minutes. The world was spinning around her, but she could hear the First Prime's armor clanging to the floor.

_No!_ She couldn't let this happen. Not if she ever wanted to show her face to her team again…to the colonel. What would he think? As if her relationship with him wasn't complicated enough. She squeezed her eyes shut in an attempt to focus and to keep the tears that threatened at bay. The feeling of having no control was coming back full force.

Sam eyes flew open and she cried out in surprise and pain as Mal'tek's large form settled on top of her. Clad only in simple underclothes, the Jaffa sneered at her. It infuriated Sam to no end. She squirmed underneath his weight, but once again found it futile. He grasped her hands, pinning them down.

Revulsion burned in Sam's throat when she felt his lips on her skin. "My friends are going to kill you!" she cried, attempting to pull her hands free.

"Kill me?" Mal'tek wondered, trapping both of Sam's wrists with one hand, allowing the other free reign.

"Yes! I swear I'll help them!" she yelled. "Don't do this!"

"Ah, but I will enjoy breaking you. Tisiphone will be pleased." He leaned down, forcefully kissing her.

Sam struggled for all she was worth. She felt like throwing up, screaming, and crying all at the same time. Her heart caught in her throat when he began to fiddle with her belt. _God, no. Not again._

She did the only thing that sprang to mind, the only thing she could do. She bit down. Hard. As hoped, Mal'tek pulled away. He was taken aback enough for her to free her hands. And she swung. She was saving her dignity, her sanity, _herself_. And she was mad. Oh, she was mad. Sam didn't know if she had the strength left in her, but she gave it her all. Her fist slammed squarely into her attacker's face.

Mal'tek's hand flew up to his mouth. He drew it away, seeing blood. A strange expression crossed his face. He turned his head to the side and spit. A small object clinked as it fell to the floor.

His tooth. She'd knocked out his tooth. Sam wanted to laugh out loud in satisfaction. She glanced back to Mal'tek and swallowed hard. He was beyond angry.

She tried to shimmy out from underneath him, but he was straddling her, his legs trapping her. Mal'tek roared in fury as he slapped her. Sam tasted the metallic tang of blood in her own mouth. She tried to protect herself from the blows the enraged Jaffa began throwing at her, but it was pointless. Her battered arms ached in pain.

The next thing Sam knew, a fully clothed Mal'tek was pulling her to her feet. She wasn't sure what had happened; she had to have passed out somewhere along the way. She didn't even remember him getting up.

He dragged her out into the daylight, at a speed a half conscious Sam could barely keep up with. He certainly wasn't in the mood anymore, and for that she was grateful. On the flip side, he was ticked off, and she'd more than likely receive the brunt of that anger in the near future. Mal'tek's silence scared her more than anything.

They made their way back to the caverns at a rapid pace. Sam stumbled, but Mal'tek didn't even look back. She fell to her knees, free hand scraping against the ground as he pulled ahead.

"Wait!" she gasped, even though she knew he wouldn't listen. In response, he jerked her roughly. Sam cried out. "Please!" she begged. She couldn't get her feet underneath her and rocks and tree roots dug into her legs. He ignored her pleas, literally dragging her along. Finally, Sam managed to scramble into a standing position when Mal'tek paused for a moment.

"Jaffa!" he commanded, seeing a small group of men coming down the path. "Come with me." They wordlessly fell in step behind their leader and his prisoner.

Soon they arrived at the ring platform. Sam felt claustrophobic being crowded into such a small place with them. She breathed heavily, closing her eyes. All she wanted was to get back to her team.

They returned to the cool cave, a relief from the hot sun above. And again they were off. Sam had to practically run to keep up with Mal'tek's large stride.

When they arrived at her cell, Mal'tek slammed her against the bars with such ferocity she would have surely crumpled into a heap on the floor had he not been holding her up. Her lungs begged for air, and she desperately tried to breathe.

"Woman," the First Prime seethed. "I would kill you where you stand, but Tisiphone would not wish me to do that." He glared at her, his lips parted to where she could see the damage she'd done. "You will learn your place, Samantha." Mal'tek unsheathed his knife and ran it along Sam's jaw line, bringing it to a rest under her chin. "You will learn to do whatever I wish and you will not fight. You will come to obey Tisiphone and tell her all she asks. Do you understand, Samantha?"

Sam met the Jaffa's eyes, stubbornly refusing to reply. He wasn't going to break her. He _wasn't_.

Mal'tek angled the knife up, making anything but eye contact impossible. She could feel the cold blade on her skin, threatening to draw blood. "Do. You. Understand?" Mal'tek asked slowly and deliberately.

Yes, of course she understood. But she wouldn't comply.

Mal'tek put his knife away, eyes trained on his prisoner the entire time. He brought his hand back up, making the same path with his index finger that the knife had. Then with a snarl, he backhanded her. "Woman, are you dense? I asked you a question and you will answer!"

"No!" Sam yelled angrily. She could already feel the soreness in her jaw.

"No?" Once again Sam found herself being slammed against the bars of the cell. In spite of herself, she let out a whimper of pain. Her team was right there…right there watching. God, how she wished they weren't.

Mal'tek let go of Sam, and despite her best efforts, she sank to the floor. "Yes. Your answer will be yes. There is no alternative. Resigning yourself to your fate would make things much simpler." He spit to the side and ran his tongue over his teeth. Mal'tek glowered at Sam, reminded of what she had done to him. For a moment, Sam feared he would take his anger out on her, but instead, he opened the cell. While the other Jaffa stood guard, he picked her up with ease and pushed her into the room.

Sam felt someone catch her and looked up into Jack's concerned eyes. If she were honest with herself, she wanted to collapse into his arms and let him take the load for a while. She wanted him to tell her this was all a bad dream; that she'd wake up any second. But it wasn't a dream; it was a living nightmare. And part of her still had a difficult time letting the walls down with Jack. She shakily removed herself from his grasp. She had to be strong.

"Sam?" Daniel asked, cautiously moving towards her.

"It's okay, Daniel," Sam said, knowing her voice gave away the truth.

"Carter?" There was something in his tone that commanded her attention.

Jack's eyes had traveled over his 2IC's body, taking in any new injuries. They had settled on her waist and her ripped pants and unbuckled belt. "What happened?"

Sam's gaze followed his and immediately her face flushed with embarrassment.

"No-nothing, sir," she stuttered, attempting to fix her belt. Her shaking hands fumbled with the buckle, and tears stung in the corners of her eyes. It was a task she should have been able to do blind folded.

"Carter," he prodded again, this time more gently.

"He didn't, sir," she replied shortly, her frustration with her ineptness growing.

"Sam. Here," he said quietly, reaching towards her. He watched her closely and his hand brushed hers. Jack looked at her, asking permission with his eyes.

She mutely consented.

He quickly, but gently, buckled her belt, moving his hands away as soon as he was done.

A few tears slipped down Sam's cheeks. She wiped them away angrily, humiliated. So many emotions were coursing through her she didn't know what to do. She finally settled with turning her back to her friends. Sam knew she was shutting them out, but she had to. She was going to break any minute if she didn't. Jack's concerned eyes, Daniel's compassionate face, Teal'c's silent, but almost palpable worry. She couldn't take it right now.

The men of SG-1 didn't press Sam for information. In fact, they weren't quite sure what to do. All they knew was she needed some time.

o-O-o

Sam sat quietly, staring at her scraped palm, but not really seeing anything. She'd barely spoken two words to her friends. She didn't want them to fret over her, and she knew her silence was only making it worse. But there wasn't anything she wanted to say to them. There wasn't anything she _could_ say that wouldn't cause her to totally break down. That would worry them, a lot, so she opted to say nothing at all.

She ran her other hand through her hair, pulling it away in disgust. She wanted a shower so badly. She wanted to wash her hair, brush her teeth, even shave her legs. A nice long bath would be even better. That was first on the list when she got home. And she _would_ get home…somehow.

Sam let out an exhausted sigh, garnering the attention of her three teammates. She didn't make eye contact with any of them. Sam mentally kicked herself. She shouldn't be acting this way, yet she couldn't let her defenses down. They wanted her to be strong and not let Tisiphone get the best of her. This was the best way she knew how. Bursting into tears and running into her friends' arms would be a failure.

Sam glanced up, startled, as she heard someone approach. It was Tisiphone and her personal guard, minus Mal'tek. That gave her at least some satisfaction.

"Back against the walls," Tisiphone ordered. "Except you, Samantha. You come forward. Now!" she shouted when no one moved.

Jack, Daniel, and Teal'c moved back reluctantly. Sam slowly got to her feet, body protesting the entire time. Tisiphone entered the cell, two Jaffa right behind her. They pulled Sam forward and held her in front of the Goa'uld.

"Samantha," she said, uncrossing her arms and opening her palm. There lay a small, circular object; a memory device. The Jaffa held Sam still as Tisiphone pressed it to her temple. Sam winced at the sharp pain, familiar and very uninvited.

"Tonight, human, you will learn why Morpheus was the God of Dreams."

TBC in 'Dreams Alive'


	17. Dreams Alive

Ch. 16 Dreams Alive

Jack stretched then leaned back against the wall. He was not a happy camper. Sam still hadn't spoken about what had happened. She'd only muttered a low 'yes, sir' when he'd asked if she'd been the one to so nicely rearrange Mal'tek's face.

He was so proud of her. She was holding up considerably well. Too well, in fact.

Jack had seen her almost crack, but she'd reined her emotions in. He knew the routine. Be a strong solider, don't let anyone see your weak side. He was like that, too. However, in this situation Sam wouldn't make it by herself. She'd been tortured, assaulted in more than one way, and she'd barely eaten or slept in days. She was going to come crashing down, _hard_. He didn't want to see that happen, but it was almost inevitable.

He wasn't sure if he should approach her. She didn't seem to want to talk, or even be bothered for that matter. He couldn't just sit around until Sam had a breakdown either, until she completely lost it like Tisiphone wanted her to. He frowned, averting his gaze to his 2IC.

o-O-o

Sam lightly touched the modified memory device on her temple. Tisiphone had left her with the warning that attempting to remove it would cause severe damage. That was just great.

There had been something nagging at Sam ever since her run in with Mal'tek. She'd told him her friends would kill him. And she had meant it. Jack had already threatened the First Prime. His tone, his look, it had truly scared her. Sam knew he was capable. She had a strong hint Teal'c wouldn't hesitate to kill Mal'tek if the opportunity arose. Daniel? She wasn't sure, but he'd protect her with his life.

But she'd said _she_ would help them. Could she really do that? She would certainly protect herself and her friends with terminal force, if need be. _That_ had gotten her in this situation. But would she hold a grudge? If she were to escape right that moment, would she hunt Mal'tek down and kill him? No, she wouldn't. Not even with all he had done to her. But Jack? He might actually do it.

Sam yawned. She was _so_ tired. As much as she wanted to rest, she knew the memory device wouldn't let her slumber peacefully. She figured it would somehow influence her dreams, though she didn't know to what extent. She was literally afraid to fall sleep.

She shook her head, trying not to nod off. She would stay awake as long as she could…

"_Daniel_!"

The archaeologist was nearly as frightened as his female teammate. He hurried to Sam, who was very much on the verge of panicking.

"Sam, are you okay?" he asked, alarmed. His mind raced through all the possible reasons as to why Sam could be so upset.

"Daniel?" She grasped his arm, turning him so she could see his side. "Oh, thank God," she cried in relief.

"Sam, I'm fine. Tisiphone healed me, remember?"

Sam rubbed her face with her hands. "I know. At least I thought I knew."

"You fell asleep," Jack spoke up. "It's that thing, isn't it?"

Sam nodded. "It seemed so real. Like it was happening the first time all over again. But she didn't save you…"

"I'm right here, Sam. Right here." Daniel enveloped her in a hug. "The real question is are _you_ all right? I've been worried," he told her truthfully.

Sam let Daniel hold her, and she relished his gentle touch. It was a stark contrast to the manhandling she'd been subjected to lately. "I'm making it," she replied. She pulled away suddenly, remembering. How could she have forgotten? "I saw a DHD."

"What?" Jack asked. He sat down next to Daniel and Sam. Teal'c stood silently.

"After Daniel was healed, Tisiphone wanted me to look at the device we discovered on P3X-149, to see if I could make it function."

"Could you?"

"No." Sam went on to explain what she'd seen on her trip to the Alkesh. She left out what had happened inside.

"Good, Carter. Now when, and I stress when, we escape, we'll know where to head."

"Yes, sir," she nodded, stifling a yawn. Daniel looked at her in concern.

"You can't stay awake forever," he told her.

"I can try," she smiled weakly, recalling a very similar conversation years ago.

"Sam, how real is it? Do you even know you're dreaming?" the young man wondered.

"It was like a very vivid dream. The sensations were…" she trailed off, unsure of how to describe it. "Usually when I dream, I can wake myself up if need be. But I couldn't, not with this. The Jaffa shot you, Daniel, and I swear it felt like the first time it happened. It was a nightmare," Sam whispered. Her fingers danced lightly across the device. It had been made to punish. To mess with your mind. To plague your sleep and erase the line between reality and dreams. To make your fears come true.

"Major Carter, if you wish to stay awake, I am available for conversation."

"Yeah, Sam. You don't have to do this alone." Daniel said. "And if you fall asleep, we're right here," he reassured her. Jack nodded in agreement.

Sam dipped her head, smiling. She was so grateful for her friends. They all settled down, Sam between Daniel and Jack, and Teal'c across from them.

"So. What should we talk about?" Daniel asked.

"Um…how about the first thing we're going to do when we get back to the SGC?" Jack suggested.

"A shave and some coffee."

"Why does that not surprise me, Daniel?" Jack asked, shaking his head good-naturedly.

"Okay…well, what about you? What will it be then?" Daniel prodded.

Jack gave Daniel a withering sigh, as if he should already know the answer.

"Eat cake."

o-O-o

A few hours had passed and Jack was the only one still awake. Sam had started to nod off first. They knew she was scared to sleep. But they also knew she couldn't keep going like she was. They assured her it was all right to try and rest. Maybe the dreams wouldn't come right away, and she'd get some much needed sleep. And when the dreams did come, her friends wouldn't be far away.

Still she had tried to fight it, but her eyes had finally drooped closed. The three men had watched her for a while, looking for any unrest. Nothing had seemed out of the ordinary. Sam seemed to be getting the kind of sleep she needed.

Daniel fell asleep next. He probably didn't even realize it and would feel guilty when he woke up. Teal'c had attempted to kel-no-reem, but Jack wasn't sure if he was still doing that or had fallen asleep himself.

He yawned, then looked over at Sam. She was bedded down between he and Daniel. She slept in a fetal position, in a self-protective way. Part of Jack wanted to know exactly what had gone on outside of his presence. The other part never wanted to find out. Ignorance was bliss, or so it was said.

Even after the last four days, she was still beautiful. Bruises, blood, and grime couldn't hide that. Jack didn't admonish himself for having those thoughts. He wasn't really concerned about the regs or any self doubts at the moment. He cared about getting her home alive. When he did, was he going to still ignore the feelings he had for Sam? He still had them all right, and now they were on his mind more than ever.

Jack understood why the rules were in place. But printed words didn't mean a thing when you'd experienced what SG-1 had. The connection they had, the one the regs dictated they shouldn't, was what had kept them alive over the years.

If Jack were honest with himself, he loved Sam. It wasn't lust or even simple infatuation. The spunky young captain had impressed him from the get go, and then proceeded to burrow her way into his heart. There was just something about her. And that something was what was keeping her together here. She was amazing.

Sam turned restlessly, letting out a small sigh. It was nothing to worry about, Jack reassured himself. People sighed in their sleep all the time. He certainly knew that Sam did. He found it rather endearing.

Jack tore his gaze from Sam and closed his eyes. Perhaps he'd try to get some sleep.

o-O-o

Sam woke with a start. She was sure she had screamed aloud, but glancing up to Jack, she knew she hadn't. He surely wouldn't be sitting there, seemingly asleep, had that been the case.

Sam pressed her palms over her eyes. The dreams she'd been having…images of her past that she preferred to keep there had been dredged back up. Some were not so recent memories and some were. Even though she was awake and she knew the dreams weren't reality, there was still a terrible sense of trepidation over her. And why wouldn't there be, Sam considered. She was constantly under threat from this Goa'uld and her First Prime. She never knew when she'd be whisked away and something unmentionable done to her.

Even still, that didn't fully account for the anxiety she was feeling. Sam had felt it strongly while she'd been dreaming and had hoped it would wear off once she awoke. But the feeling of foreboding still lingered. Though she could feel Daniel's leg at her back and was within only a few inches of Jack, she couldn't shake it, couldn't feel safe. It was probably the device on her temple. It was really messing with her head.

Sam's eyes traveled down Jack's arm and rested on his hand. She was so tempted to lace her fingers with his, just to have some human contact that was kind and gentle, contact that would reassure her. Sam decided against it and sighed.

Then she froze. She was being watched.

She quickly looked up and found Jack staring down at her. His chocolate eyes warmed her and she felt immensely better. And for just a moment, she thought that just maybe things would be all right.

o-O-o

Jack paced along the cell, every few rounds stopping to watch Sam. She had refused to go back to sleep before, and they had spent the rest of the night in an amiable silence. He didn't quite know how she had managed to stay awake, but fear could do that to a person. Daniel and Teal'c had soon joined them, and they'd tried to devise a way out. There was still no success on that front.

But as had become routine, Tisiphone had questioned and tortured Sam. Mal'tek had taken extreme pleasure in helping his master on this day. A twisted and perverse delight in watching her writhe under the pain stick, in eliciting hoarse screams from her throat. He threw hateful words at her, belittling Sam with every syllable that came out of his mouth. It must have been a Jaffa revenge thing. Before it was all said and done, Mal'tek was going to learn about _his_ revenge thing, Jack had decided.

When it was over, Jack had been almost certain Sam was dead. There was no movement, no sound at all when Teal'c had cradled her in his arms. Jack knew her body couldn't handle much more of this physical strain. This Goa'uld apparently knew just how far to take it before she relented. Still, every time Tisiphone tortured her, it took a little more away from who Sam Carter was. Physically, emotionally…Jack already worried she would never be quite the same.

Now he was agitated, ignoring any pleas from Daniel and Teal'c to stop his pacing. Teal'c stood, watching Jack and following his gaze when it turned to Sam. Daniel sat by Sam's side, waiting for any sign of consciousness. Their friend had spent so much time in this state they feared for her more than ever. The memory device was still attached. Tisiphone had not even bothered to take it off, and it would have to be her doing because any other method would cause Sam harm.

Everyone in the room paused as a small cry came from Sam. Jack hurried to her side, briefly meeting Daniel's eyes.

"Carter?"

"Sam?"

"I do not believe she is aware," Teal'c told them. "She appears to be in distress."

The three watched their female teammate turn restlessly in her sleep. The dark circles under her eyes were indicators of the sleepless nights she'd endured. Sam mumbled something incoherently and pulled herself tightly into a ball.

"Should we wake her?" Daniel wondered. "If we do, she'll snap out of whatever reality that device is creating. It's just a vivid dream, right?"

"Yeah, the memory device will only physically harm her if we take it off." Jack bit his lip as he scooted closer to Sam. "If we can put a stop to this, we should," he said resolutely. He didn't want Sam to suffer any more than need be. And none of it was needed, he thought darkly.

"Carter?" he asked. Jack looked for some sort of response, but saw none. He was wary of touching her. He honestly didn't know how she'd react. The last time she'd nearly jumped out of her skin.

"Please…don't." The men's eyes snapped up. They'd understood that.

"Sam? Don't do what?" Daniel tested, wondering if she could hear them at all.

A few moments passed. "They won't let you…do this…" A small gasp escaped her lips followed by a soft sob.

Jack's head dropped to his hand. Even in her dreams Sam looked to her team for support. They were supposed to watch each other's backs, and they were failing her tremendously. His gaze settled back on his 2IC. She lay curled on her side, fingers tightly clasping the jacket she was lying on.

"No!" she cried. Sam's eyes were squeezed shut and her breathing was erratic, sobs catching in her throat.

"Carter?" Jack prodded, shaking her shoulder gently. He couldn't watch this anymore.

She shrank away from his touch, turning her head into her jacket. "Pl…please…stop." Her voice was small and fearful. Un-Carter like and unsettling.

Jack pulled his hand away, hovering ever so slightly over her trembling form. "Come on, Carter, wake up," he said firmly. "Wake up!" But it was to no avail. Sam was trapped in a world created by the Goa'uld device. "For crying out loud…" he muttered.

A few moments passed, the men not sure how to proceed. A whimper from Sam prompted action.

"Sam. Sam? It's not real. Come back to us." Daniel pushed Sam's hair from her face and his heart clenched when he saw her damp cheeks. As he tucked the blond strands away, Sam shocked everyone by lashing out at Daniel. The archaeologist fell back in surprise, Sam tumbling to the ground with him.

"Leave me alone! Just leave me the he-"

"Major Carter!" Teal'c put his massive arms around Sam and attempted to pull her off of a bewildered Daniel. She managed one more punch before Teal'c was able to haul her away. He feared he was only making the situation worse, but she was attempting to harm her teammate. That was something she would surely regret when she was lucid.

Sam struggled against Teal'c, but he was too strong. He wasn't sure he'd ever seen her so out of control. He turned her to face him, and Teal'c saw the blue of her eyes.

Fright. Anger. Confusion.

Sam's fists beat weakly against the Jaffa's broad chest, mumbling curses, pleading with him to let her go. Teal'c had worked out with Sam many times in the gym and they had sparred on several occasions. He knew she could fight, but the woman before him was tired and weak. Too many days of fighting a losing battle…too much thrown on her shoulders…too much to bear alone.

"Major Carter. You are with friends," Teal'c said calmly. She was conscious, but he believed unaware of her surroundings. Teal'c's suspicions were confirmed when Sam's eyes snapped up and she took in the emblem on his forehead. She pushed away from him fearfully. She saw him as another Jaffa. Another person waiting to inflict pain on her. Teal'c, not wanting to hurt Sam, let her slip from his grasp. She stumbled away from him, backing herself against the cell bars.

Teal'c moved away from the distressed woman. She obviously felt threatened enough already. Daniel straightened his glasses, coming to stand next to Jack. He rubbed his cheek where Sam had landed a good one.

Sam pressed herself against the bars, as far away from anyone as possible. One hand flew up to her face, the other arm curled protectively around her middle. Her shoulders heaved as she tried to calm herself, to understand what was going on.

"Carter?"

"No…no…" Her voice shook as she steadied her breath.

"You're safe, you're with us now," Jack tried to reason.

"Sam, you're fine. Whatever just happened, it was just a dream," Daniel reassured her. "It wasn't real."

Sam's hand moved to the device. Still she shook her head, closing her eyes tightly. "How did I get here?" she whispered.

"No harm has come to you since our departure from Tisiphone's throne room this morning. You have remained here under our vigil," Teal'c informed her.

"No," she replied uncertainly.

"Then what happened, Carter? Because I can assure you, you haven't left my sight," Jack pressed lightly.

Sam didn't meet his eyes, but Jack could tell his words had had some sort of affect on her. "I…" she swallowed hard and went no further.

"Carter, talk to me."

"No."

Jack was taken aback. She had flat out refused to talk to him. He wasn't going to order her to, not in her current state. He watched her run her fingers over the memory device. He watched as they curled around it. She was going to…

"No!" Jack cried, leaping towards Sam. He grasped her hand as she attempted to tear the offensive technology off of her temple.

"Let me do it!" she yelled, trying to complete the task with the other hand. Jack was faster and trapped both hands with his own.

"What do you think you're doing, Major? God only knows what this thing would do to you if you ripped it off! For crying out loud, Carter! Don't do that again!"

"Stop!"

Jack finally took notice of their positions. In his hurry to prevent Sam from hurting herself, he'd pushed her roughly against the cell bars. His larger hands trapped her smaller ones in a hold that wasn't exactly gentle.

"Please," she quivered, her attempts at pulling away futile. "Please, Colonel."

Jack's delight at knowing there was some recognition on Sam's part was fleeting. He took in her wide eyes, her heavy breathing, her terrified stance. In his efforts to help her, he had upset her more. His hold on her was no doubt making her nervous. "Carter…I'm sorry," he apologized. He released her hands and stepped back. "But promise me you won't try that again."

She turned her back, gazing out into the corridor. It was eerily silent for a moment. Then, with an angry, swift kick to the bars of the cell, she spun around. "No!" she cried. "I can't trust anyone or anything until this," she said, pointing to the device, "is gone."

"Carter…" Jack wasn't sure what to say. He wasn't accustomed to Sam being the one to lose it. He glanced to his teammates, a silent plea for help.

"Sam, we don't want you to hurt yourself," Daniel said softly.

"What does it matter?" she asked, her voice rising. "I don't even know if this is real. Daniel, you know what it's like to not trust your own eyes. But I can't believe anything! What I see, what I feel, nothing!"

Daniel nodded his head slightly in understanding. Tisiphone had taken Sam's life and turned it upside down. She had no sense of security. Sam couldn't even trust herself.

"Carter. Calm down long enough to hear me out," Jack told her.

"No…no! Just leave me alone!" she yelled, her voice cracking on the last syllable. Her hands flew to her head as if she were in pain, but Sam didn't touch the memory device.

Jack couldn't deny he felt a little frustrated. He reminded himself he had to stay cool and be firm. To get through to her, Jack couldn't let her uncharacteristic actions get to him. "No. I want you to listen to me. Now."

Sam shook her head, her breath quickening. "I don't want to hear it. I don't. I can't believe whatever you say."

Jack sighed. What he wouldn't give to rip that device off without hurting her. "That thing on your head is giving you a run for your money, but you're stronger than that, Carter. I know what you've been through hasn't been easy…"

"What do you know?"

Jack almost stepped back as Sam heatedly moved towards him. "I can understand the torture, the sleepless nights, not knowing what to believe. And this is real, Carter. Real!" He took a step towards her, closing the distance between them. She didn't back down. "Have we verified that this is happening?" he asked calmly. Jack met her eyes. Though outwardly Sam was showing anger in an attempt to regain some type of control, he could see the uncertainty in the cerulean depths.

"I don't know, have we?" Unable to hold his gaze, Sam's eyes guardedly shifted to her other teammates.

Jack knew the last actual event she would have any memory of was her torture earlier that day. Everything else was all in her head. She had to remember. He knew though, she would have a difficult time doing that. The memory device, compounded with the use of the hand device earlier, would have certainly, for lack of a better way to put it, scrambled her brains. "You're not thinking clearly, Carter. You're tired and you're scared. Things may be a bit jumbled up in your head at the moment, but I know you trust me, Carter."

"Don't. Don't do that. Please don't use that against me." Her voice was softer now. The brief spell of anger was gone, and for that Jack was glad. Though, he knew she'd needed to get some of it out. It was about time she got upset with the situation.

"I'm not. I would never do that and you know it. Believe me when I say you're all right. I don't know what you just dreamed about, but that's all it was, a dream."

"How can you be so sure?" She dropped away from him, leaning heavily against the wall, deflated.

"I don't have a modified Goa'uld memory device on my head for starters," Jack said, pointing out the obvious. "If you stop and really think, you'll know. Don't let that thing control you."

Sam closed her eyes and for a moment there was complete silence. Then they fluttered open and looked to Jack.

"Okay…let's say I believe you…my dreams…they are as real to me as I am to you." She was looking for understanding. It was also apparent she was relaxing enough to start thinking things through rationally.

"So whatever you experience…will have almost the same impact on you as if it were actually happening. It's that vivid, isn't Sam?" Daniel asked.

Sam turned to Daniel as though she was seeing him for the first time. "Oh! Daniel! I am so, so sorry. Teal'c…"

"We're fine, Sam. It's okay," Daniel reassured her.

"No! It's not!" Sam massaged her head, grimacing. Even though she was almost positive she was fully awake now, and that neither the nightmares nor the device had a hold on her any longer, Sam still felt completely disoriented.

"Major Carter, we do not hold you accountable for what took place. You were only defending yourself. That is understandable."

"That's just it, Teal'c. She shouldn't have to defend herself. She shouldn't have that thing on her head!" Jack fumed. Sam watched him with wide eyes. There was such a sad expression gracing her features that it only infuriated the colonel more. "I'm sick of this crap! Never knowing what's going to happen next, what sick idea Tisiphone has, if that son of a-" Jack stopped abruptly, piecing together the puzzle.

"Jack?" Daniel wondered aloud.

"That was it, wasn't it Carter?" Sam looked away, and Jack knew he'd hit the nail on the head. "You couldn't stop him this time."

An awkward silence, then an almost imperceptible nod of conformation came from Sam.

Daniel took an intake of breath as he realized what was being said.

Jack cursed under his breath, then spoke. "Carter, I swear, he has not touched you. I promise I won't let him again."

"Sir, you can't promise me," Sam whispered, wrapping her arms around herself. Promises couldn't be made, not here, not in this place.

Jack stared at her determinedly, taking a fraction of a step closer. "I will do everything in my power to make sure you don't find yourself alone with him again."

"Don't do anything foolish, please. Besides, this was bound to happen sooner or later. I've just been lucky."

Jack shook his head in disbelief at her words. "This has nothing to do with whether or not you've been 'lucky' so far. This has to do with the fact that none of us are going to let Mal'tek get his hands on you again."

Sam nodded slightly, trying to keep her composure.

Jack inched closer still, gauging Sam's reaction. She didn't even blink. Whether or not Mal'tek had touched her physically, the damage had already been done. In that dream, Jack had no doubt it had all felt real. Thank God it hadn't been, but no wonder she'd woken up swinging.

He was not going to cover anything with jokes or regulations anymore. Even he knew when enough was enough. This was serious. Jack didn't feel he had to protect or comfort Sam because she was a woman, or even because she was under his command. He felt he had to because he was a loyal friend and because he cared about her more than he was supposed to. A lot more. Maybe that didn't have a place on a mission, but the mission had gone to hell.

"God, Colonel…I can't-" Sam's voice caught in her throat. "But please don't try to help me. Please."

"Major Carter, we do not wish to sit idly by and let them harm you. You said yourself that you could not watch injury come to O'Neill. Why then would we let it happen to you?"

"Look where it got me."

Jack blinked at this comment. He knew it hadn't been meant maliciously, at least not intentionally. But still…

Sam took notice. "Sir." With that one word she conveyed that she still wasn't sorry for what she'd done to save him, only that she didn't wish the same fate to befall him.

Jack nodded. He knew they'd not fought back to make things easier on all of them, because really, resistance was futile. But it pained them all to watch Sam be put through a living nightmare.

Silence fell over the room, the tension thick. Sam turned her head away, looking down the passage. It was either the road to freedom or to more suffering. She figured the latter was more likely.

Sam felt insecure, but loved; scared, but comforted. So many emotions…and none of it made sense in her pounding head. She would never tell her team how tired she felt, how sore and bruised her whole body was. She'd never admit she was beginning to think the situation was hopeless; they expected her to be strong. Her spirit wasn't breaking, but it was bending. Not to mention she couldn't even think straight. She knew it was mostly due to the device on her temple. She'd tried to rip it off. She wasn't sure why, when she knew full well it could harm her. Perhaps the little mechanism had more control over her than she knew, and that scared her.

Sam wouldn't ever utter a word of how terrified she truly was of the torture, of Mal'tek. She could see her future; some of it had been painted out very vividly in her dreams. She'd never whisper how she didn't want to bear the load alone; but that she was equally afraid of showing her teammates she couldn't handle it as a good soldier should.

Sam slightly jumped as she felt a presence behind her. She forced herself to concentrate and relaxed when she realized who it was.

"Carter." His voice was worried. A hand lay gently on her arm and Sam unconsciously turned into his touch. Her heart ached for reassurance, but her mind fought back. She wrapped her arms more tightly around herself and closed her eyes. Tears pressed at her eyelids, begging to be let out.

"I'm fine, sir," she mumbled. She could sense Jack watching her, and as her eyes slid open she focused on the wall. On anything but him.

Tears pooled in her eyes, threatening to spill over. The more moistness that gathered there, the more firmly she set her jaw. She was trying to be strong. She _had _to be strong.

"Sam?"

A soft, gentle voice…_his _voice. She looked towards him, making the mistake of staring directly into Jack's unabashedly concerned eyes.

Sam Carter broke.

TBC in 'The Walls Came Tumbling Down'


	18. The Walls Came Tumbling Down

Ch. 17 The Walls Came Tumbling Down

Before the first tear had hit the ground, she was in his arms. Jack pulled Sam's shaking form close and she didn't object. Her arms wrapped around him and her fingers dug into his upper back; he could feel the slight jab of her fingernails through his shirt. He found one hand in her hair and another reaching all the way around her thin frame. Only a few moments after he felt the dampness of her tears on his skin did Jack hear her sobs.

It broke his heart.

Jack knew she was tall enough to rest her chin on his shoulder, but she was purposefully burying her face in the crook of his neck. She was seeking comfort, seeking refuge. Jack moved his fingers through Sam's hair, gently working out the knots in the tangled mop. Though he meant it as a soothing, reassuring motion, the tears only fell harder and she only grasped onto him more tightly. The sobs shook her entire body and resounded through the otherwise quiet cell. His hand came to a rest at the nape of her neck, fingers still entwined in the blonde locks.

Jack glanced at his teammates and he could see they were just as affected as he was. He wished he knew what to do. He didn't know what to say either, so he just held her, protectively, securely.

He could feel her sagging against him, and Jack helped support her. She let out a small cry of pain. Jack grimaced and released his hold somewhat. In return, Sam pressed herself closer to him. For a second, Jack paused. Sam wasn't just hugging him, she was clinging to him. Sam Carter didn't cling.

"I don't want to hurt you," he whispered, turning his head so his lips rested near her ear. Reluctantly, he retightened his hold. Her audible sobs had quieted down, and she didn't gasp this time. However, she flinched and stiffened. He knew she was sore and hurting. Did she want this so badly she was willing to go through pain?

Sam dipped her head, burrowing even further. Jack felt every small sob and breath; the intimacy of the situation was affecting him down to his core. He'd never been this physically close to her and had never seen her so vulnerable. Every inch of her body was pressed as close to him as she could possibly get; her curves and warm breath wouldn't let him forget this. She still quaked beneath his touch. Jack closed his eyes, cursing silently. That dream, one of many, must have terrified her.

"Sam…"

No response.

"If this is what you need…" he murmured. "Just let me know if I'm hurting you." She nodded and her hair tickled his face. Jack was sure he _was_ hurting her, but she would never say a word.

He didn't know how long they held each other. In a way, Jack needed this release just as much as her. He rocked Sam gently, arms strong and secure. He didn't whisper that it would be all right or try and quiet her tears. Jack simply held her. Slowly, Sam relaxed in his embrace. Her breath evened out, coming in light puffs on his neck. Her hands slid down his back, fingers losing their grip. She was completely worn out.

"Sam?" A sniffle was his reply. "You're exhausted." It wasn't a question. This time he got a nod. "Come on."

Sam pulled back, straightening slightly. Her glistening eyes met Jack's for the briefest of moments. She was embarrassed for needing him, however that didn't really matter to her at the moment. Her arms crossed, then one hand rose to swipe at a tear stained cheek. Though she had backed away, Jack's hand rested on her hip.

A small shiver ran through Sam's body and she realized how exposed she felt again. She stepped closer. She felt safer with Jack nearby. Always. He had an air of confidence about him that could ease her fears.

"Do you want to lay down?" he asked.

"I…"

"I didn't say sleep, Carter. Just rest. You need it."

Sam nodded, feeling the weariness in every part of her body. She was too tired to fight.

Daniel moved in to rearrange their jackets. He patted the bed when he was done.

Jack's arm wrapped around Sam's waist to support her as they walked over. She sank to the floor almost immediately.

"I…I'm sorry," she whispered.

"No apologies," Jack said firmly. He groaned as he bent down, his knees popping. "Come on over, guys. Let's get comfortable."

Sam looked from Jack to Daniel and Teal'c, then back to Jack. "Sir?"

"We all need some rest, Carter," he told her, scooting next to her. "Is this all right?"

She nodded mutely. Sam was not going to object to letting the three men surround her with their protection and care. She stretched her body out before balling up into a fetal position. Without a word, Jack lay down, facing her. She felt Daniel settle down behind her, and Teal'c she knew was nearby. Still, this was almost the way it had been before and the nightmares had still come.

Sam glanced to Jack and her eyes fell on his damp t-shirt. She felt the shame bubbling up.

"It'll dry," Jack said, trying to smile. He looked worriedly at Sam. "Look at me."

Sam had never found it so hard to look her CO in the eye.

"Sam. Please."

Sam's gaze finally settled on Jack. And for the longest moment, they studied each other, neither able to tear their eyes away.

"Come 'ere."

Sam found herself willingly moving closer to Jack's warmth. She reached her arm up until it wound around his neck. She surprised herself and Jack when she used that leverage to pull herself onto his chest.

Jack brushed his shock aside and helped her settle down. Sam nestled her head right below his chin and closed her eyes. She concentrated on nothing else but him. The beat of his heart below her palm. The flexing muscles as his arms wound around her. She listened to his breathing and soon found herself inhaling and exhaling along with him. Maybe she could just forget everything else…just for a while…

Sam cried out as she felt someone grab her arms and yank her from her safe haven. Jack's arms tightened around her, attempting to hold on. She clung to Jack, but whatever forces were pulling her were stronger. She found herself face to face with Mal'tek.

"No…" she whimpered.

"Woman. Pathetic woman!" He brought his staff down on her and she fell to her knees. Sam shook her head. She had the strangest sense of déjà vu. Another blow, but she stayed up. Her arms shook like jelly; she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction.

"Your friends probably pity you because you are weak. Have you told them you are no match for me?" A foot in the stomach. "Do you not have anything to say?"

Sam bit her lip. This wasn't right. This wasn't right at all. _This had already happened_.

"I will make you speak!" Sam couldn't help but scream as the pain stick was thrust into her side. Mal'tek bent to her level. "That is better." She cried out again when the torture device pressed into her stomach. "When will you start begging me for mercy?" he asked, finally pulling the stick away.

Sam panted, clutching her stomach. This was not happening. Not again.

"You do not deserve mercy!" He grasped her chin between his fingers and turned her towards him. "I want to see you cry, Tau'ri. I want to see you broken." Sam couldn't think of anything but the pain as her world exploded into light, then to darkness…

Sam's eyes shot open with a sharp intake of breath. She was about to launch herself to her feet when she realized where she was.

Still safe in Jack's arms.

"Carter? You okay?"

Sam nodded. "Yeah…yeah." She slowly lay her head back down, but her eyes darted around the cell. First finding Daniel, then Teal'c to his right.

"You wanna talk about it?" His voice was soft and warm.

"It was happening again."

"What was?"

"This morning. Mal'tek was…torturing me again."

"Sam…" Jack sighed despondently. Sam was close, so close he could smell the sweat coating her body after her nightmares, after all the torture. And faintly, the scent that was uniquely her.

"It's never going to end, is it?" Sam asked, tucking her hand under her chin.

"I-" Jack wasn't sure how to respond. "It will. We'll figure something out." It was a poor excuse for encouragement, but it was all he had.

"But how? We've been here for days, sir. It's all starting to blend together and I-" She paused. "I don't know how strong I am." It was a whisper, barely audible; a confession, hard to make.

Jack's thumb absently rubbed circles on her lower back as he considered what to say. Sam had held up extremely well until that evening. She'd finally cracked under the stress, as Tisiphone had hoped. Five days of various forms of torture, both mental and physical, not to mention little food or sleep. He didn't even remember when Sam had last eaten more than a bite or two of food, or had gotten the kind of restful sleep she needed. It was taking its toll on her. Even without the torture it was unhealthy. If only he could get one good meal into her and have her sleep soundly through the night, she could handle what came her way better. The chances of that were next to none, though.

However, though she'd lost some battles, she wasn't defeated.

"You're strong enough to make it out of here. Tonight, you just had to vent. That's human. Okay? That's human." He felt Sam nod into his chest. "Venting makes people feel better. Gives them a second wind. I mean, you do feel better, right?"

"A little."

"Just a little?"

"I'd feel better if I could finish rearranging Mal'tek's face."

"Wouldn't we all?" Jack closed his eyes and relished in the sensation of feeling his major's slight giggle vibrate against his chest.

He wasn't going to tell her no.

TBC in 'Point of View'


	19. Point of View

Ch. 18 Point of View

Jack shifted uncomfortably beneath Sam. The rock floor was doing horrible things to all their backs, but the dead weight of his 5'9" major wrapped around his body, though nice, was _really_ starting to ache.

She'd fallen asleep again. She was just so tired. It was a complete exhaustion that reached to her very core. But this time she'd stayed asleep. It had been hours since she'd stirred, and even Jack had slept some. His gaze fell to Daniel, who was waking.

The younger man rubbed his nose with the back of his hand and sat up. Yawning, he took in the scene. "Wow, Jack. I'd say she's out of it."

"Ya think?"

"Yeah, I think." Worry flickered across Daniel's face. "Is she doing better?"

Jack adjusted the jacket pillow behind his head, ignoring the twinge in his neck. "She's sleeping, Daniel. That tells me a lot."

Daniel cocked his head in Jack's direction. "It says a lot about _you_."

Jack lifted his eyebrows in response, and Daniel seemed to be amused at his apparent confusion.

"Jack. She's finally asleep. With you. Don't you get it?"

"She's tired, Daniel. What else is there to get?" Jack replied, now feigning ignorance. He knew what his friend was trying to get at. Daniel scratched at his chin, annoyed at the beard that was forming, and possibly at him. Jack didn't say anything else; he watched his friend study Sam and then purse his lips, as if carefully considering his next words.

"You're doing the right thing, Jack," Daniel finally vocalized.

Jack's eyebrows knitted in contemplation before he jutted his chin out in acknowledgement.

"You being there for her, it's the best thing for Sam. Look," Daniel said, gesturing at the sleeping woman.

Deep down, Jack knew Daniel was right. It was that 'thing' he and Sam shared. So complex, but at times like this, so simple. "Yeah," Jack replied succinctly.

They both stilled as Sam mumbled, stirred, then quieted again. They didn't want a repeat of earlier. That had been unnerving, to say the least. A few moments of silence passed, then Jack felt Sam lift her head from its resting place on his chest.

"Sir?" Groggy and slurred.

"Right here. Daniel, too." Jack's voice took on a tone he knew his team wasn't very accustomed to. Calm and soothing. It had been a rarity until this mission.

Sam nodded slowly, her blue eyes meeting his in the half-light. Jack saw not only tiredness, but confusion.

"It's okay. You fell asleep, that's all. You need it," Jack told Sam, reassuring her. He was afraid she'd begin to think too much, as she usually did, and she would remove herself from his embrace. Jack feared she would build back up the walls that had just come crashing down. They didn't need that. They needed each other.

Sam frowned slightly at her CO; Jack could hear the cogs turning. Then she lay her head back down on his chest, her fingers tightening slightly around the fabric of Jack's shirt.

Daniel let out the breath he'd been holding, and Jack pressed his eyes closed in relief as she stilled. She probably hadn't been fully awake; she was probably going to be just as confused later in the morning. Jack would worry about that later. For now, Sam was asleep and she was safe.

Daniel sighed. "Jack, we've got to get her out of here."

"I know that."

"Honestly, I'm afraid for her."

An unspoken 'Me too' hung in the air.

The familiar sound of a Jaffa contingent echoed down the otherwise silent halls. Jack instinctively tightened his hold on his major. They were_ not_ going to hurt her again. But for once, the sounds faded into the night, leaving them in peace.

"Maybe we should get some more sleep," Jack suggested. He looked down at Sam, then down the dank corridor. "I don't think this will be a regular occurrence. Let's catch some shut eye while we still can."

Daniel nodded in agreement. He turned away, giving them some privacy.

Jack shifted slightly, trying not to disturb Sam. He was secretly pleased when her form molded to his new position. While Jack certainly didn't like the reasons that had sent Samantha Carter into his arms, he loved the feel of her so close. Right now, all the reasons they couldn't be together seemed so small and insignificant. All regs aside, all walls down, he was going to be there for her tonight.

o-O-o

Tisiphone paused at the cell of her Tau'ri prisoners. Her eyes narrowed at the scene before her. This was not what she expected to find.

The leader of the Tau'ri, O'Neill, was sleeping peacefully. That in and of itself did not bother the Goa'uld so much. It was the woman in his arms. Tisiphone had fully expected to find Samantha in distress. The device was not meant to let one rest so…contentedly. It was not what she had intended.

A frown spread across Tisiphone's lips as she continued to observe them. O'Neill was situated on his side, his head propped up on a jacket. His arms wound protectively around the blonde woman, her body pulled tightly to his. One of Samantha's hands curled around his neck; the other was wedged between their two bodies. Her face was nuzzled into his chest, only a small amount visible beneath the tufts of hair. Her legs were tangled with his.

Tisiphone's scowl deepened. A spark of jealousy ignited within the Goa'uld and her hatred for the Tau'ri woman increased. This was too intimate. This was not an act of comfort between friends. It was more.

It was a lovers' embrace.

Tisiphone's eyes flashed. She turned on her heel and strode swiftly down the hall, never noticing Teal'c's watchful gaze.

TBC in 'This Is Not Happening'


	20. This Is Not Happening

Ch. 19 This Is Not Happening

Sam woke with a gasp. She panicked for only a second, then the memories started seeping back into her consciousness. The warm body pressed to hers was friend, not foe. Then she recalled her breakdown the night before. Shame flushed her cheeks.

How could she have let her defenses down like that? What was she doing snuggled in her CO's arms like a scared child? Okay, so maybe she'd needed it. Maybe she'd needed to let it all out. But her head was clearer now, and the more she thought about it, the more she knew she couldn't stay where she was.

Sam moved slightly and Jack moved with her. "Sir?" He didn't respond, at least not consciously. He pulled her closer and Sam drew in a sharp breath. She squirmed uncomfortably. "Sir? Please," she whispered, trying not to draw the attention of her other teammates.

Jack's eyes opened slowly. He'd clearly been in a deep sleep. His hand went up to his eyes to rub the sleepiness away. Sam exhaled as the pressure was removed from her battered side.

A moment passed and neither of them spoke. Sam briefly wondered how she was going to get out of this position in the least embarrassing way. Jack still hadn't removed his other arm from around her and one of her legs was wedged between the two of his.

She swallowed hard. She remembered more of the previous night than she'd probably ever let on. But what stood out most, even more than the terrifying dreams, was Jack. He'd been there for her. And he was still there. Sam had to repress the urge to burrow more deeply into his embrace. It _was _nice. His gentle and protective hold on her had comforted her and let her get some much needed sleep. Still, Sam was sure that once he fully woke up, Jack would realize what they were doing wasn't exactly adhering to the rules.

"Carter?"

"Yes, sir?"

"You okay?"

"Yes, sir."

Jack glanced at her, an amused smile playing on his lips. "You must be."

Sam batted her eyes down quickly. "I'm better, sir," she replied almost shyly. She was still practically plastered against him and he was carrying on a conversation with her. Was she the only one who thought it was…odd?

He stretched out against her, in the process loosening his hold on her. Feeling him alongside her like that was too much for Sam to handle. She scooted away as quickly as she could, but moving in such a manner proved to be too much for her body. "Ah!" she groaned as her sore, stiff muscles protested. Sam couldn't even sit all the way up. She leaned heavily on one arm, cursing herself for being so stupid.

"Carter?" Jack looked at her quizzically, shifting into a sitting position. He laid a supporting hand on her shoulder.

Sam chewed on her lip apprehensively before cautiously glancing up at him. Her teeth slid away from her lip and she found herself staring at her CO. She studied him…his dark eyes, seeing into her soul. The lips that turned into the slightest frown. The rough stubble that had prickled her. His silver hair, protruding in all directions. The long fingers lightly grasping her shoulder. And it struck her how much she loved this man.

Sam closed her eyes. _Love._ The scariest four letter word. It was one she had avoided thinking of. If she thought about it, it would only make it that much harder to deny herself what she truly wanted…what she'd wanted for years.

Lately though, Sam had honestly started wondering what Jack wanted. She wasn't sure he still cared for her in _that_ way. All those years ago and the admissions they'd made…they'd agreed to leave it in the room. They'd done a great job at doing just that. Such a good job that she didn't know if the hope she was holding onto would ever be realized or if it was only wishful thinking.

It was never easy to pretend her feelings didn't exist, but it was so much harder now. They had both exposed sides of themselves to each other that were rarely seen. She couldn't take it back, and she had an inkling Jack didn't want to return to the way things had been. She didn't know what had been the last straw for him, but he had held and comforted her like there were no regs, like all that mattered was _her_. And that notion made her stomach flutter.

"Carter? Hello? You're scaring me here." Jack's worried voice penetrated her thoughts.

Sam shook her head a little, to clear her mind. "I'm fine. I just…" She couldn't let this continue in this manner. Maybe he only meant to console her, but with them it was always more. They could never find themselves in that kind of position again. Ever. Even though it was exactly what she needed, it was too intimate. It didn't matter what either of them wanted or how things changed here. They would get home and just go right back to the way things were. That's how it always was. If she put a stop to this now, maybe they could do just that.

"Sam?" It was Daniel.

"Guys, I feel better. I really do." She jumped slightly as she felt Jack's hand on her back, but he was only helping her to fully sit up. She had to admit, she was grateful for his assistance.

"That is good to hear, Major Carter," Teal'c's deep, but soft voice answered.

Sam watched him closely. There was something in his eyes that didn't sit quite right with her. Like he knew something she didn't. He probably did. She held his gaze for a moment longer, then let her eyes drop.

When she heard Jack's stomach rumble from behind her, Sam arched an eyebrow. "Sir?"

"I'm hungry. Aren't you? They didn't bring us dinner yesterday." A startled look crossed his face when the sound of approaching Jaffa reached their ears. "Crap."

Sam felt his hand tighten around her shoulder and his other rest protectively on her hip. Her heart began to pound in her throat. She hated that sound. She hated the man staring at her from the other side of the bars.

"Move aside," Mal'tek told Daniel and Teal'c as he and his fellow Jaffa made their way into the cell. The two did as they were told. A pair of guards stayed by the entrance, daring them to move.

"Samantha…it has been too long." A malicious grin made its way across Mal'tek's face as his eyes raked over Sam and her commander.

Sam set her jaw firmly, attempting to rid her mind of the images she'd seen the night before. She didn't say anything to the man taunting her; she kept her silence.

"Jaffa!" the First Prime commanded. Two Jaffa moved forward, grasping Sam by her upper arms, tearing her away from Jack.

Jack started after Sam, but a staff weapon was shoved in his face. He didn't back away, and he didn't take his eyes from his major as he was pushed next to the rest of his team.

"No!" Sam yelped. Her body screamed in pain, but her thoughts weren't on that. They were on saving herself. "Let me go!" She twisted and turned, trying to force the Jaffa to release her. A few well placed kicks met their intended targets and one of Sam's arms came free. She spun around, but the Jaffa was ready. He blocked her punch with his staff weapon and quickly flung her to the floor.

For a second, she couldn't breathe or move. Before she'd even had a chance to recover, the Jaffa yanked on her arms. In one swift move, she went from a supine position to being on her knees. Sam coughed as she sucked in a breath of cool air. She raised her head and for a moment her eyes locked with Daniel's. She could see he was about to do something foolish. Sam shook her head. The look of pain and indecision on his face almost broke her heart, but she stood firm. "No," she whispered.

Sam struggled against the Jaffa now holding her. As Mal'tek approached, her fight intensified. Pointless though it may be, she had to do _something_. Her captors wrestled her to the floor, one securing her arms behind her back with his own. Sam strained against his hold, a groan of frustration emanating from her lips. The Jaffa yanked her back towards him and held on tightly, putting a stop to any more resistance.

As Mal'tek kneeled before her, Sam stilled. There was no denying this man scared her. She knew exactly what he was capable of and that her defiance was no match for him. She was helpless and vulnerable in his presence.

Jack watched as the large man neared Sam. He was on edge, his stomach churning. So help him, if Mal'tek touched her… He remembered what Sam had said, but he hadn't made any promises. His gaze fell on Sam and his eyes were drawn to her abdomen.

In her effort to escape the Jaffa, her shirt had ridden up, exposing her side. Jack's heart dropped as he took in the bruises of varying colors. Welts and burns were indicative of the use of the pain stick, and he couldn't help but notice how slender she was. Not emaciated, not yet, but way too thin. She'd hid it so well. Jack had known she was sporting injuries, but to actually see them…

His anger rose further as the First Prime's hand reached towards Sam's bared skin. Jack could see her flinch as he made contact.

"Samantha," Mal'tak began. "Tisiphone has sent me to see you. I see you are insolent as ever."

Jack held his chin up proudly. As long as she had that spark, that little bit of spunk, he had hope. How Sam had managed to give those Jaffa a run for their money, he wasn't sure. Though, as he looked at his 2IC, he could see the discomfort, pain, and weariness etched into her features.

"No matter, I will dishearten you soon enough. Perhaps sooner, rather than later." Mal'tek's large hand gently caressed Sam's side. A small cry of aversion escaped the woman and she drew away from his touch.

Jack glanced to Daniel and Teal'c. Teal'c's hands were in fists, his jaw firm. Daniel shared a quick look with his friend. No words were spoken, but Jack knew what he was trying to say. _I know, but for her sake, don't overreact_. More like not react at all Jack thought, disgruntled.

"Samantha, you fascinate me." Mal'tek's hand crept up and slipped under the fabric of Sam's shirt. Then, to Jack's surprise, the First Prime turned to look directly at him. Jack sent him a cold glare, but maintained his cool. He didn't want to make it worse for Sam, but his resolve was wearing thin. It was practically non-existent.

Mal'tek returned his attention to Sam. Leaning forward, he captured her lips with his own. Sam's muffled protests fell on deaf ears as the Jaffa held her in place, allowing his leader to do as he pleased.

Jack felt a hand on his shoulder. Teal'c looked at him with understanding eyes, but the brown depths also held a warning. The hatred Jack was feeling…if his teammate had not been holding him back…

Mal'tek, not pleased with Sam's response, gripped her injured side and twisted cruelly. Sam cried out, in the process giving her assailant more access, which was exactly what he wanted.

Jack leapt forward. After he'd seen the look of agony and pure disgust on Sam's face, nothing, not even Teal'c, could hold him back. He fought violently against the guard that stopped him. Mal'tek pulled away from Sam and looked at him, a smug smile on his features. This only infuriated Jack further. He broke free and went straight for his major's tormentor.

The colonel fell to the ground, stunned as a wave of electricity washed over him. He moaned, trying to stay conscious. "I'm gonna kill you," he threatened weakly.

"Fool. The others know their place," Mal'tek said, referring to Daniel and Teal'c. "You and Samantha are obviously of one mind. Impudent and too spirited for your own well being. I can see why you two have been drawn together."

"What?" Jack asked, rolling to his side. His eyes rested on Sam. He couldn't read her expression and she didn't make eye contact with him.

Mal'tek simply shook his head, then glanced down at Sam. "Jaffa!" The Jaffa holding Sam down rose to his feet, pulling Sam up along with him. Another soldier, who'd been standing nearby, grabbed onto one of Sam's arms. Mal'tek nodded towards the cell door.

"Yes, Mal'tek," one replied, bowing his head slightly. As they begin to move, Sam fell limp, dead weight. She couldn't fight anymore. It had been drained right out of her, but she could still make it difficult.

Sam was strangely grateful when they ended up in Tisiphone's throne room. The Goa'uld sat almost impatiently, as though she had been waiting for them.

"Mal'tek?" she inquired, rising from her seat.

Mal'tek came to stand before his goddess. "Your suspicions are well founded, my lady."

Tisiphone's eyes narrowed at Sam, and the Tau'ri shifted uncomfortably. What could they possibly be talking about?

"O'Neill reacted as expected," Mal'tek reported. "He was most displeased at my actions. More so than the rest."

Sam's mouth dropped slightly, in shock and anger. This couldn't be. Had he purposefully been trying to get a rise out of Jack?

Tisiphone came to stand before her prisoner. "O'Neill seems very protective of you, Samantha. In fact, you both seem very fond of each other."

"What?"

"Do not try and deceive me, Tau'ri. I have seen you together. On your planet, on Earth, you are mates, are you not?"

Sam gaped. "What? No! We just work together! I care deeply for all of my team," she managed to get out.

"It is different with O'Neill. I saw you last night. Do not try and tell me you care for all your teammates in that manner, or that he does. Mal'tek has seen this difference as well, Samantha. Perhaps it is obvious to everyone but you." Tisiphone crossed her arms, eyes ablaze.

Sam didn't know how to respond. What could she say to dissuade her? Admittedly, they had been caught in a somewhat compromising position. Sam knew the Goa'uld was correct in thinking there was a difference with Jack. There _was_. But for all their sakes she couldn't let her know that. However, Sam had a feeling it was a little too late.

"My mate is dead now. Because of you." The bitterness in Tisiphone's voice was thick.

"He was going to kill an innocent man," Sam argued.

"Morpheus had a reason for what he did. His actions were justified!"

"No. We had done nothing. We were on that planet peacefully exploring when they arrived. They showed us hostility. We only retaliated."

"I suppose you think _your_ actions were justified," Tisiphone shot back.

"I couldn't let him ki-"

"Because you love him!"

"I would have done it for Daniel or Teal'c!" Sam yelled defensively. It was true. She would have.

"Enough! The fact remains you murdered Morpheus. There is no denying this. My love is dead because of you." The Goa'uld walked towards Mal'tek. "Mal'tek has been a good and loyal First Prime. His symbiote is nearing maturity, and will no doubt need a host. There is a new symbiote awaiting him, but no place for the one he now carries."

Sam watched the woman guardedly. Just the thought of a symbiote made her shudder. She didn't want one of those things anywhere near her.

"Mal'tek is not the only one in need. I am without a mate." She paused, a small smile on her lips. "O'Neill is handsome and strong, an excellent choice for a host."

Sam's heart lurched. No. God no.

"Have O'Neill brought before me. Now!"

"Wait!" Sam cried, yanking against the arms that held her firmly in place. "Please, just listen to me!" Sam appealed.

"There is nothing to say, Samantha."

"You said that-"

"I said that I would not torture him," she retorted. "To become a host is an honor!" Tisiphone silenced any further pleas with her hand, then motioned for the Jaffa to continue their task.

Sam felt things spinning out of control. There was no way she'd ever let Jack be implanted with a symbiote. She knew of his aversion to the creatures, and she could understand. Sam hadn't forgotten the Tok'ra debacle or Hathor and the horror on his face as he'd been taken. She couldn't bear to ever see that again.

Not only would she not allow him to be taken as a host, she would die before Mal'tek's symbiote did the job. The thought sickened her. This wouldn't happen. Not to her colonel.

The petite woman made her way to Sam. She pulled out something small and handheld and placed it to Sam's temple. The memory device dropped away. Tisiphone smirked, clasping the small device in her hand. "I want you to be certain this is real."

If Sam hadn't been dispirited before, at that moment, she felt such a sense of hopelessness and defeat that all she wanted to do was sink to the floor and pretend this wasn't happening. She was in this position because she hadn't wanted the colonel to die. In killing Morpheus, she had unwittingly forfeited her life to Tisiphone. She could deal with that. What she couldn't deal with was Jack losing his life because of her.

Tisiphone's eyes flashed, full of resentment and void of mercy. "You have taken my love away from me. Now I will do the same for you."

TBC in 'The Choices We Make'


	21. The Choices We Make

Ch. 20 The Choices We Make

"Gah!" Jack moaned, rolling to his side. The fight to stay conscious had been lost. "Carter?"

"They took her, Jack," Daniel sighed, helping his friend sit up.

Jack frowned. "How long was I out?"

"Not too long. You okay?"

"Yes, Daniel. I'm just peachy," came the reply, laced with sarcasm.

"Daniel Jackson, O'Neill. Someone approaches," Teal'c warned them. Daniel grabbed Jack's hand, pulling him to his feet.

"You, the leader. Tisiphone wishes to see you," a young Jaffa stated. "Come forward and the female will not be harmed."

Jack let out a sigh of semi-relief. At least Sam wasn't alone with that monster. He could work with this.

"Yeah. Okay." He nodded to Teal'c and Daniel to let them know it was all right. Jack moved out past the men and let them lead him down the hall without any altercation. He could hear Sam's protests before he even saw her face. And when he finally laid eyes on her, he wondered what could cause her to have such an expression of fear and panic.

"Hey, there. What's going on?" Jack asked with a crooked smile, glancing briefly to Tisiphone before his troubled gaze fell back on his friend.

"O'Neill. You have been chosen," Tisiphone informed him.

Jack's attention snapped back to the smaller woman. "Chosen? For what, might I ask?"

"To be host to Mal'tek's mature symbiote. To be my new mate." The Goa'uld stated it simply.

Jack's eyebrows rose in surprise and abhorrence. "I think I'll pass, thanks."

"I tire of your mouth," Tisiphone grumbled. "But no matter. Soon nothing will remain of your 'endearing' sarcasm."

"No!" Sam shouted. "You can't!"

Jack was shocked at how her voice cracked, at her desperation. He wasn't quite sure why. He would feel the same.

"Mal'tek," the goddess ordered. With a nod, Mal'tek removed his armor and reached for his symbiote.

Sam pulled frantically against the Jaffa holding her. "Stop. Stop! Do anything to me you want. Just please don't do this to him!" Sam begged. "Please!"

"You only feel an inkling of my pain. My revenge will be for you to live out your years knowing you have lost him and to be reminded of it every day." Tisiphone's dark and unforgiving eyes watched as Mal'tek's symbiote screeched, writhing in its master's grasp. "It is ready for a host."

"Just a second here," Jack intervened, nervously watching the snake. "You really don't want me as a host. Bad knees," he shrugged.

The goddess sighed in exasperation. "Perhaps I should just kill you now. It will be far less gratifying, but your fate will no longer be an issue," Tisiphone threatened. The device on her hand began to glow.

"Hey! Let's not get hasty!" Jack said, stepping back and throwing his hands up in defense.

"O'Neill. The decision is not difficult. Either take the symbiote or die." Tisiphone was losing patience quickly.

"There's no third option?" Jack couldn't help but query.

The Goa'uld cocked her head to the side. "I have spared you from this fate thus far, but I could have you repeatedly tortured and beaten. Then, when you are weak and broken, when you can take no more, you will gladly take the symbiote and become mine."

"Ah, don't think so," Jack replied.

"What about Samantha, then, O'Neill? Do you wish to compound her punishment with your defiance? I am sure Mal'tek would find great pleasure in this. They have unfinished business, no?"

"No way," Jack replied firmly.

"Sir, I ca-"

"No, Carter."

"Bu-"

"Carter." He met her gaze, willing her, _demanding_ her, to stay silent.

"There are no more alternatives. You must choose," Tisiphone told them. She turned her attention to the entrance as a Jaffa rushed in and kneeled before her.

"My goddess. I have urgent news."

Tisiphone glanced sideways at her prisoners. "We will continue this at another time. Perhaps while you wait you will decide your destiny." She nodded to her Jaffa. Apparently she didn't want them to hear what was going to be discussed.

Sam and Jack were led back to their cell, a safe haven for now. Jack's shoulder brushed against Sam and she looked up at him. He offered her a thin smile in return.

Jack followed her into the dank room, acknowledging Teal'c and Daniel.

"What happened?" Daniel wondered.

"Nothing, really. The normal threats," Jack answered, sitting down and leaning back against the uneven wall.

"So, what are we going to do?"

"I don't know, Daniel. Jump the guards? Have Teal'c rip the bars apart with his bare hands? I don't know. Nothing's changed," Jack said, frustration evident in his voice.

"Okay. Geez. I was just asking," Daniel muttered, folding his arms.

Sam came to stand by the younger man. "We're all a little aggravated about this." She rethought her words as she took in the incredulous looks of her friends. "All right, _a lot_ aggravated."

"That would be an understatement, Major Carter," Teal'c said. He looked at her with concern in his eyes. "This cannot continue."

Daniel nodded. "Sam, you've got to get out of here."

"No," Sam replied, shaking her head. "This isn't all about me."

"But it is!" Daniel stressed. "Tisiphone is focused on _you_."

"That doesn't matter! _All _of us are in trouble here. Daniel, you were shot. Teal'c's Tretonin is going to run out. Tisiphone threatened to take Colonel O'Neill as a host!"

"W...what?" Daniel stuttered, turning to Jack.

"Yeah. Some sort of revenge thing," Jack confirmed with a shrug. "Something's up, though. They kinda shoved us to the side to deal with whatever it is."

Teal'c's eyebrows rose. "This gives us reprieve. We must take action, O'Neill."

"And what exactly would you suggest? We're not going anywhere fast. And I hope you're not going to say take on the guards. We've tried that, remember?"

"It is our only option."

Jack's eyes widened. He couldn't believe Teal'c was suggesting this. "Teal'c, it's not going to work. It hasn't before and it won't now."

"When the guards bring dinner, we will attack. As you said, O'Neill, something is taking place that requires the attention and efforts of Tisiphone and her Jaffa. Perhaps we can take advantage of this situation."

"You're thinking she'll send less Jaffa tonight," Daniel said excitedly, catching on. "Few enough so that we can overpower them."

"Indeed."

"That's only if whatever's going on is still going on tonight, whatever 'it' is" Jack replied, waving his hand in the air.

"We will wait and see. We must hope this is the case. We have very little choice in the matter," Teal'c said.

"I guess taking a chance is better than having to just sit around, letting them do whatever they want to us." Daniel looked directly at Sam. He hated seeing her so helpless and being so powerless himself.

Jack let out a sigh. "We'll see. And if we do this…" Jack paused, not sure if he should continue. He knew Sam wasn't in the best condition. He also knew she couldn't ward off a Jaffa, not in her current state anyway. As much as it pained him to think it, it was true. Jack got to his feet and motioned his 2IC over.

"Sir?"

Jack studied her, then moved closer. He wanted to speak privately to her. "Carter, if we do this crazy plan…" His voice trailed off for a second time. For crying out loud, he should just say it. "I know you're hurting. I saw," he said quietly, his hand brushing against her side.

Sam involuntarily flinched. She knew exactly what he was getting at. She could barely walk without pain, much less try to escape. Even still, she found herself lying. "It's okay, sir. I'm up for it."

"Carter. Be honest. How bad is it?" he whispered.

"It's not bad, really. I'm just a bit sore. Now that the memory device is gone, I should be…" She could see the hurt in his eyes. He knew it was all an act. Why couldn't she just come clean with him?

"None of us are one hundred percent, Carter. But if we do this, we have to do it right. If we get caught…" He didn't have to finish. Sam knew exactly what would happen. She swallowed hard, then spoke.

"Let's do it. I can't be here anymore." Sam met his gaze, trying to give them both confidence. She would rather take the physical strain than have to stay and be put through more emotional torture. That part was harder to live with than any beating. "None of us can."

"Okay." Jack faced the rest of the team. "You'll know when the time arrives."

They all nodded mutely, waiting for a chance that might never come.

o-O-o

The time hadn't come. At least not that night. Whatever was going on outside their cell didn't keep Tisiphone from sending enough guards to keep them submissive. The cell door slammed shut and the four were left looking at their dinner. Tonight, the bowls and cups of water were set on a tray in no particular order. Jack could only assume the food wasn't tainted this time around, and they were all so hungry they would take the chance.

"Eat up, guys," Jack said, handing out their dinner. He was surprised when Sam took hers and began eating hungrily. It was nice to see her appetite back. Jack found a seat next to her and started on his own dinner. "I guess you're feeling better," he commented.

Sam put her spoon down and nodded slightly. "Yes, sir. This stuff is horrible, but…"

"You're hungry?" Jack supplied.

"Yeah. And I finally got some sleep. That helped." They both exchanged awkward smiles and turned back to their food.

After a moment of silence, "So what are we going to do?" Jack asked. They'd put this discussion off, but it had to be addressed.

Sam's spoon paused mid air, then she set it down. "Sir, I didn't save you from Morpheus to have you taken as a host. I won't let it happen." The determined look in her eyes gave every indication Sam would do whatever it took to ensure it didn't.

Jack didn't miss this. "You will if I order it."

A shadow crossed Sam's face. "You wouldn't do that."

"Maybe not. I'd rather die than be her…mate." Jack made a sour face as he said the word. "But I'd rather not die. I can take the torture. Maybe it'll go on for a while and give us some more time to get the heck outta here. I can guarantee I won't _ever _willingly become…hers." Another disgusted expression played on Jack's features.

"Sir, if I remember correctly, you said what are _we_ going to do. I don't agree with your decision," Sam told him.

"What other options do we have? She's going to kill me or put that symbiote in my head one way or another. You've been through enough. I can take some of the heat, take the focus off of you for a while."

Sam set her food down, her appetite gone.

Jack turned to Sam, taking a deep breath. He had to make her understand. His fingers touched her cheek slightly, a signal Jack wanted her to look at him. As their eyes met, he knew he'd do anything for this woman. Anything.

"Please, Carter. I'm the one who needs to step in here. If I defy her, refuse her, she'll take it out on you. She'll make it worse for you here, and we both know what that means."

Sam nodded, tears prickling her eyes. "I know," she whispered.

"And you know I could never live with myself if I consented to that," he said gently. "Beatings and torture aren't my idea of fun, but this is better than any of the alternatives."

"Yes, sir," Sam replied, looking away.

Jack sighed. He wasn't going to let her do this. He turned her back to face him, this time letting his palm rest against her cheek. He was vaguely aware of the stares of Daniel and Teal'c, but he didn't care. Now wasn't the time to pretend, or to be naïve enough to think that the two remaining members of the team were in the dark. They knew.

"Sam, don't. You've already done enough for me. If I can do this, let me." To reinforce his point, he tenderly ran his thumb over her bruised cheek. "Don't make me make it an order." He wanted her to make the choice on her own; Jack didn't want to pull rank on her, not now.

"Okay," she choked out, her sorrowful eyes belying the words her mouth spoke.

Jack paused only for a moment before pulling her into a hug. He didn't even notice his bowl clatter to the ground.

Sam didn't protest, but she didn't quite feel comfortable either. She was sure she'd ended up in Jack's embrace more times this mission than she had in the rest of their friendship combined. In a way, it humiliated her. She was so used to having her walls up; they were a way of protecting herself ever since her youth. But now those barriers were crumbling. Everything they did to her here, it was like bringing down a sledgehammer on what she had so carefully constructed.

In the back of her mind, she figured Jack must think her weak if he felt he had to hold her. She'd tried to put on a strong front. Sam didn't want to burden her friends with this, even though she knew she needed their support. Though, the way Jack had acted towards her, the way he cradled her in his arms, what he was going to endure for her…he wasn't acting like a man who felt sorry for her, but a man who still cared a lot more than he was supposed to. The thought made her heart skip a beat, but it also bothered her. Personal and professional lines, lines that had blurred in the past, had almost ceased to exist here. It only left Sam more perplexed than ever. This planet had thrown her whole life into a tailspin.

"I hate this place," she mumbled against his chest.

"I hate what they're trying to do to you, to all of us," Jack replied softly, smoothing her hair. "But we're gonna make it. We're gonna make it."

TBC in 'A New Kind of Problem'

A/N: I want to say thank you to all my readers and reviewers…I appreciate you taking the time to read my story! Also, I figured this would be as good a time as any to remind you of my A/N in the prologue…if you haven't read it, you may want to…


	22. A New Kind of Problem

Ch. 21 A New Kind of Problem

The night had been spent in peace. No more Jaffa had come and there were no nightmares. Sam did not sleep in Jack's arms as she had the previous night. She slept mere inches away, her back to his. There was no animosity between them, but a silent understanding. They knew what would happen when Tisiphone returned. But Tisiphone did not return the next morning, or even in the afternoon. However, it was the night of the seventh day that a new problem arose.

Jack awoke to the sound of coughing. He rolled to his back, then to his other side to face his major. She lay curled up in a ball, turned away. Another cough escaped her and she rolled over. Her eyes fluttered open briefly before she turned restlessly once again.

Jack looked to Teal'c, who was situated on the other side of Sam. He was awake as well. "How long has this been going on?" Jack wondered.

"For only a short while. She seems most discomforted," Teal'c observed.

Jack placed a hand on her forehead; a thin sheen of sweat glazed her skin. She didn't feel too warm. "Carter?" He shook her gently.

Sam groaned softly as she fully opened her eyes. "What?"

"You don't sound so great."

Sam rested the back of her hand on her forehead and sighed. "I don't feel so great."

"Major Carter, do you believe Tisiphone is responsible?" Teal'c asked.

"No…I don't know. I started feeling…weird…earlier today."

"And why didn't you say anything?" Jack pressed. She needed to tell him these things.

"Sorry, sir, but I've been having all kinds of aches and pains. Didn't really think much of this one." She coughed slightly.

Jack cursed. She'd been doing better. She'd been eating and sleeping, and maybe most importantly, Mal'tek and Tisiphone had let her be.

Sam moved to sit up, but a small bout of lightheadedness impeded her.

"Major Carter." Teal'c put his hand gently on her shoulder.

"I'm fine. Really. Just a cold or something," she shrugged. "Go back to sleep, sir, Teal'c. I'll be fine. Besides, what can you do anyway?"

Teal'c bowed slightly and Jack took his lead. "Nothing, I guess. Are you _sure_ there's nothing we can do?"

"Yes, sir. I'm sure I'll feel better in the morning. You shouldn't lose any more sleep. Daniel isn't," Sam smiled, looking to her sleeping friend. "Go to sleep," she reiterated.

"Are you giving the orders now?" Jack teased lightly.

A small smile played on Sam's lips and the look she gave him was rather…affectionate, Jack noticed. It took all his restraint not to pull her into his arms.

Sam closed her eyes for a moment. "I'm so tired," she muttered. She'd gotten some sleep, but it wasn't enough. She was still exhausted. And now she was coming down with something. She stretched and cringed as she heard and felt joints pop and muscles protest.

"The floor is indeed most uncomfortable," Teal'c said knowingly.

"Yeah. I think I'll sleep like this," Sam told them, referring to her upright position. "It's more comfortable for me anyway."

"You do that then," Jack responded, stretching out on his back. "Ah."

"Are you really comfortable, sir?" Sam asked.

"For now. Are you?"

"Yes, sir. Goodnight." She smiled briefly at both Teal'c and Jack before letting her eyelids droop closed and relaxing against the wall. However, neither man let their guard down until Sam's head rested against Teal'c's broad shoulder. There was a slight snore, an indicator of congestion. Her new position lessened the frequency of the coughing, but did not completely put a stop to it.

"I should have seen this coming," Jack said guiltily, staring up at the ceiling.

"How do you mean, O'Neill?" Teal'c wondered, looking over the head of his sleeping friend.

"We've been living in this place for a week. Cold, dank, and full of who knows what. Her immune system's been compromised. She's been so weak. These are the perfect conditions for this," he said pointing to Sam, "to happen."

"Extreme stress and poor living conditions have made her vulnerable to illness," Teal'c nodded. "And there is nothing we can do to assist her," the Jaffa frowned.

"No," Jack said angrily. "I just hope it's nothing serious. It can't be. I can't-"

"O'Neill," Teal'c's commanding voice interrupted.

Jack got the drift. "Yeah…" He turned to his stomach and laid his head on his folded arms.

"Goodnight, O'Neill."

"Night, Teal'c."

o-O-o

Teal'c had attempted kel'no'reem instead of sleep and had been somewhat successful. The sleeping teammate on his shoulder had not hindered his meditation until she'd slowly started inching closer. That in and of itself was not such a problem. However, when the frail woman began shivering, Teal'c took notice.

"Major Carter?" He gently shook Sam, but she didn't respond. He called her name again, loudly enough to stir Daniel and Jack from their slumber. This time it worked.

Sam's eyes slid open, revealing their icy blue. "T…Teal'c?" She wrapped her arms tightly around herself, but her shivering only increased.

"Sam?" Daniel asked anxiously; he had no prior knowledge of her poor health.

"Carter? What is it?" Jack was equally as worried and glanced to Daniel as the younger man scooted closer. "She's sick," he said quickly before turning back to his 2IC.

"So…c…cold," Sam whispered, her chattering teeth hampering her efforts to speak.

Teal'c raised an eyebrow. It was a bit cool, but not more so than it had been previously. She was indeed ill. Teal'c brushed her bangs aside, feeling of her clammy skin. She shook more violently than ever. The Jaffa didn't think twice before pulling her up into his lap.

Sam let out a small gasp of surprise, but then settled against Teal'c's chest. She drew her knees up, her heels against Teal'c's outer thighs, and curled her hands into fists, resting them under her chin. Daniel and Jack gathered the rest of the jackets littered around the cell and tucked them tightly around her. Teal'c nodded in thanks.

Daniel pulled Jack to the side. "What do you mean she's sick? What's going on?"

"She's come down with something. I don't know what. You didn't hear her coughing earlier?"

"No," Daniel admitted guiltily.

"It's okay," Jack replied softly, "She's just feeling under the weather, and we…we just have to be there for her," he echoed his words from a few days before.

Teal'c held Sam close, feeling the vibrations of her shaking form. He wanted to pull her closer, but he feared he would harm her. Teal'c's arms wound all the way around Sam; she was pressed firmly to him, drawing heat and strength from his presence. Still, it wasn't enough.

"I…can…t…get…warm…" Sam chattered out. She burrowed her head into Teal'c's chest and he rested his chin on her head. His massive body enveloped her, trying to give her the warmth she so desperately craved.

Sam's teeth chattered furiously and Teal'c spoke words of soft reassurance. "The warmth will come, Major Carter. This will pass," he whispered. Sam nodded, trying to control her shuddering body.

Soon Sam began to feel the heat radiating from her teammate. She closed her eyes and tried to relax. "Thank y…you, Teal'c."

"You are welcome, Major Carter. Try to rest."

"All right," she replied, almost inaudibly.

The chills eventually died down, and Teal'c nodded to Jack and Daniel in confirmation. Both men were enormously relieved.

Jack watched Sam silently. She was asleep in Teal'c's lap, her lips parted slightly, breathing softly. A tinge of jealously stung Jack, but he shrugged it off. As much as he wished he were the one holding Sam, he knew Teal'c was better suited for the job. The large man had more body heat to give than he or Daniel.

For a minute it was quiet, then a coughing jag almost woke Sam from her slumber. Jack grimaced and closed his eyes. Time was running out for his two friends. Teal'c's Tretonin would soon be depleted and Sam couldn't handle much more. SG-1 was on its own this time, but now they needed help more than ever.

o-O-o

"Kelowna."

"Okay, um, Land of Light!"

"Gotta love that place."

"Shut up, Jack. Your turn."

"M. Mmmmmmm. I give. Carter?"

"I've got nothing, sir."

"Oh, come on! Haven't we visited a 'M' place?" Jack grumbled. Their game was ruined.

"I'm sure we have, sir. I just can't think of one at the moment," Sam replied. She sat next to her displeased CO with an amused look on her face. "I can think of an 'N'," she offered.

"Netu?" Daniel asked knowingly.

Sam's tight smile was her reply.

"And O is for Olympus. This place. It beats Netu hands down," Jack said.

"Indeed," Teal'c agreed.

"Ah," Sam abruptly muttered, her hand flying to massage her forehead.

"What?" Jack asked, alarmed. He was on edge since Sam had woken coughing up mucus. It hadn't been a pretty sight. Whatever she had was progressing quickly; almost like a virulent case of the flu, or worse, pneumonia.

"Headache…though that's pretty common these days." Sam winced. It wasn't a pounding headache as before, but shooting pains.

The room grew quiet until Sam spoke again, wanting to lighten the mood. "P anyone?"

A few small chuckles escaped the men, and Teal'c picked up the game once again.

o-O-o

Sam felt horrible. Utterly horrible. Every muscle in her body ached, and it wasn't all from the days of torture. She'd barely been keeping wave after wave of nausea down and her head had begun throbbing. And she was hot, too hot. She felt so exhausted and unwell she couldn't stop the tears that stung her eyes as Jaffa hauled her to her feet. And she couldn't keep them from streaming down her face as they forced her from the cell.

"Move!" one yelled as she stumbled. When Sam didn't comply, they yanked her forward anyway. Sam sobbed, each step more painful than the last. She heard Jack's angry voice behind her and she turned towards it, towards him. This time she couldn't keep the nausea at bay. Sam lost what little she had in her stomach.

The guard looked in distaste and rage at his soiled uniform. Lifting his hand, it slid across her face with a sickening crack. Sam sank to the floor, blood running from her nose.

Jack managed to break free of the guards and bent down to Sam. She was barely conscious. He hoped nothing was broken as he surveyed her bloodied nose.

"Tau'ri! Get up!"

"Hey!" Jack cried, throwing himself in front of Sam as the guard threatened to strike her with his staff.

"She will get up!" he commanded.

"All right. Just give us a sec." Jack reached for Daniel's bandanna, which he'd fortunately stuffed in his back pocket. He dabbed the blood away from Sam's nose and she cried out softly. "Sorry. Here," he whispered, holding it back to her nose and guiding her hand so she could hold it there herself.

Sam did as he wished and didn't complain as he scooped her up in his arms. She wrapped her free arm around him and hid her face in the crook of his neck, ashamed of the tears she couldn't seem to stop from flowing.

"Back to your cell," another Jaffa ordered. "Ra'len, return with our goddess," he added as they turned back the way they had come.

Jack wasn't sure if the warmth he felt on his neck was blood or tears, but then he noticed how warm she was in general. _Why her?_ The thought ran through his mind over and over, and he held her protectively away from the Jaffa. He didn't want to let her go when they finally made it back, but he set her down gently on their jackets. He noted that Sam kept a firm grasp on his arm.

"What happened?" Daniel pressed, looking from Jack and Sam to the Jaffa.

Jack put the back of his hand on Sam's cheek, then her forehead. "She's burning up," he informed Daniel, noticing the perspiration beginning to bead on her forehead and upper lip.

Sam pulled the handkerchief away from her nose, focusing briefly on the reddened material. Then she fixated her gaze on her CO. Jack almost had to look away.

"What is this?" Tisiphone's irritated voice boomed.

Jack sighed inwardly. For such a small woman, she was so loud.

"What is wrong with her?"

Jack craned his neck around to look at the Goa'uld. "She's sick."

"How so?" she queried.

Jack debated whether or not he should answer her. He knew he wouldn't gain any sympathy, but decided it couldn't hurt either. "Coughing, headaches, chills, fever, nausea, etcetera."

"When did this begin?"

"Last night sometime," Daniel replied, stepping forward.

"It is the Kek," Tisiphone said flatly.

"The Death?" Daniel asked.

"Yes. Humans sometimes fall ill with this ailment because they are weak and pathetic. She will not live more than a few days. Death is inevitable."

"Whoa, wait a minute!" Daniel cried, glancing in alarm to his teammates. "You can't let her die!"

"As long as she is suffering, I do not care." Tisiphone spat vehemently. "O'Neill. I have not forgotten. What choice have you made?"

Jack felt Sam's grip on his arm tighten. He couldn't look her in the eye. "I've decided to take the punishment…I'll take the torture."

"Very well. Jaffa!"

Jack moved to stand up, but Sam wouldn't let go. "No!" she cried.

"I have to and you know it. It'll be okay," he tried to reassure her. He looked away as fresh tears made their way down her cheeks, mingling with the sweat.

The Jaffa pulled him upright, forcing Sam to release her hold. "No!" she repeated. "Daniel, please, don't let him!" she whimpered. "Teal'c!"

Daniel squatted down to Sam's level as the door clanged shut. "Shhh, Sam. He'll be okay. He can handle it."

Sam shook her head, squeezing her eyes shut.

"Yes, he can. Jack's doing this for you, Sam. Don't you understand?"

"It doesn't matter! I'm going to die anyway!" Sam wiped at her wet cheeks furiously.

"No, Sam. You're not. Don't believe her." Daniel rested a palm on her forehead. The blonde turned away from his touch. Daniel frowned and made his way to Teal'c. "She's got a high grade fever. This is happening fast…too fast."

"Indeed," Teal'c agreed, worry etched into his normally stoic features. His apprehension for Sam far outweighed any concerns he had for himself. He had heard of the Kek before and knew of not one who had survived it. But if anyone could, it would be Major Carter. "Should we not divest her of her jacket to make her more comfortable?" he suggested.

"Yeah," Daniel replied, as they returned to Sam's side. "Sam? Come on, let's get this jacket off." Daniel reached for the zipper of her jacket and she pushed him away hastily.

"No…don't."

"Sam, aren't you hot?" Daniel wondered, watching her closely.

She nodded and her face almost crumbled back into tears.

"Then what is it?" he asked softly.

Sam didn't say anything, but she pulled her jacket tightly around her body, searching his eyes for understanding.

Daniel frowned slightly, then it dawned on him. She didn't want to feel exposed, vulnerable. "Look, Sam, it's just us. Teal'c and I. You trust us, right?"

"Yeah…"

"You're sick and you've got a fever. We've got to cool you down, okay?"

Sam nodded in acquiescence. Teal'c helped her sit up and Daniel assisted her with removing her jacket. Daniel could feel the heat radiating through her thin cotton shirt. He had no idea how she'd stayed bundled up like that for so long. Sam let out a quivering sigh as she sank back down. Teal'c tried to make her comfortable, but he was certain there was not much he could do.

Daniel could see the gleam of sweat on her face, and by what he'd felt, he knew her situation was getting dangerous. Such a high fever could seriously do some damage. But how could he help her?

His eyes traveled the cell and rested on the small pool of water. He'd almost forgotten about that. Daniel rose to his feet and traversed the room. He dipped his finger into the puddle, testing the temperature. He decided it would suffice.

Daniel searched for something to use as a rag. His bandanna was soiled and no one else had one. He sighed. They _were_ having to make do. He pulled on the sleeve of his shirt and felt the material start to give. He yanked harder and the sleeve ripped. Daniel shrugged. He wasn't trying to win a fashion contest. He immersed the cloth in the water, then pulled it out and squeezed out some of the excess water. Testing it against his own forehead, he was confident it would do the trick.

Daniel returned to Sam and Teal'c and bent down. He placed the cloth on her forehead, hoping it would help get her body temperature down. He moved it to her cheeks, then rested it where it had come from. Sam reached up and pressed the material closer, savoring the coolness against her heated skin.

"Better?" Daniel wondered.

"Some," she replied weakly. Suddenly she gasped and her eyes flew open. "The Colonel!" she cried, as though she were just remembering. Sam sat up quickly and Teal'c caught her.

"He will return soon," he assured her.

"No!" Sam gasped again and leaned to the side. Dry heaves shook her worn body and she clutched her stomach.

"Sam," Daniel said soothingly, rubbing her back gently. "It's okay. Just calm down. Just breathe for me, okay?"

Sam nodded, obviously distressed. It took her a few minutes to regain control, then she slid to the floor in exhaustion. Her eyes fluttered closed and didn't reopen, not even at the beckoning of her teammates.

TBC in 'A Ray of Hope'


	23. A Ray of Hope

A/N: You guys are troopers! I know I'm putting SG-1 through the wringer…I know! I warned you of my tendencies to whump and play in the angst cavern! I want to examine the bonds between these characters and the love these four have for each other. I _do _love these guys, so…just hang in there!

Right now we have a brief respite as we visit the SGC…

Ch. 22 A Ray of Hope

It had been a week. An entire week with no word from SG-1 or any good news from the allies of the SGC.

The mood was solemn around Cheyenne Mountain, as it always was when a team went missing. And though no one said anything, they all knew this was SG-1 missing, and the connotations that held were great. Losing the entire flagship team, the front line team that had withstood everything the universe could possibly throw at them…it was almost unthinkable.

General Hammond couldn't count the number of individuals who had approached him, informing him they'd do anything needed to get SG-1 home safe and sound. He had thanked them all and told them that if the time came, he'd take them up on the offer.

Hammond glanced up from his desk as the klaxons sounded. It was an unscheduled activation and his heart jumped. He still had some optimism it could be SG-1 returning home, and he pounded down the stairs.

It wasn't SG-1, but still someone who gave him hope. Jacob Carter met him at the end of the ramp.

"Jacob."

"George. Have you gotten any news from Bra'tac or the Asgard?"

"No, nothing," Hammond said, anxious to hear what news Sam's father brought.

"Well, I might have something," Jacob told him.

They headed to Hammond's office and once they were seated, Jacob began to speak.

"We've had an operative go missing."

"How does this involve SG-1?" Hammond implored.

"We think he may be a captive of Morpheus."

"What? Where?"

Jacob held up a hand. "George, if I knew where, I'd be out there right now getting my baby girl back, believe me. I don't know where."

"Then explain how this helps us," Hammond prodded.

"Halen was doing undercover work as a Jaffa among the ranks of Serapis, who is in servitude to Anubis."

"Go on."

Jacob continued. "Apparently, the group he was in ran into a contingent of Morpheus' Jaffa. Most of Serapis' men were killed, but not all."

"How did you come upon this information?" Hammond asked, interest piqued.

"Serapis reports to Anubis. Halen reports to another operative, one we have in Anubis' ranks. The check in was missed, and our other operative heard what had transpired and informed us as soon as he could."

"Well, what other information did he give you? A planet or address?"

"I'm afraid not, George," Jacob sighed. "Our operative wasn't sure which planet this occurred on. He's not even sure if Halen is dead or alive."

Hammond's eyes narrowed for just a moment, but it didn't slip past Jacob.

"I'm not keeping anything from you. They might be hiding something from me, because I feel I've been left out of the loop quite a bit lately. I'm telling you what I was told, and it's all I know. The point is, if we can get more information about the whereabouts of Halen, if he has been taken by Morpheus, then we've got a much better chance of finding SG-1."

Hammond paused a moment before stating what was weighing on his mind. "Do you think they'll look harder for one of their own than for SG-1?"

"I honestly don't know, George. It's my hope they would at least give the same effort, considering all Earth as done for them in the past. Then again…" Jacob trailed off.

"You don't feel they trust you anymore?"

"Sometimes I don't think they do. A few of the council members anyway." A beat of silence. "But you know, it's my daughter out there!" he almost yelled, resisting the urge to slam his fist down on the desk.

"I know," Hammond said sympathetically. "She's got some excellent teammates to watch her back, and-"

"Three good men, I know."

"Three _very_ good men. You know that, Jacob. They'll watch after her."

Jacob finally met his fellow general's eyes and gave a small nod. As much as he knew Sam could handle herself, he knew she was only human. He prayed that wherever she was that night she was safe…safe and protected. And not just Sam, but her three good men, too.

TBC in 'Just Breathe'


	24. Just Breathe

Ch. 23 Just Breathe

While Sam had been unconscious, Daniel and Teal'c had continued to bathe her exposed skin with damp rags. Daniel was now sleeveless, but Sam seemed to be cooling down. The pool of water held significantly less after the many trips to and from to wet the material, as well as from getting water for Sam's parched throat. Daniel wished they would bring dinner and some water. Sam was still in desperate need of fluids.

Daniel's wish was soon granted, and at the same time dinner arrived, so did Jack. He was standing on his own, but barely. The Jaffa threw him in and he stumbled to the ground. "Jerks," he muttered before heading for Sam's side. "How is she?" he asked, looking down at her still form.

"Better. But the question is, how are you?" Daniel inquired of his friend.

"Nothing I can't handle, okay?" Jack grimaced even as he said the words.

That was when Daniel noticed his back. The black material of Jack's shirt was almost shredded and was stained with red. "Oh, God, Jack! They whipped you?" he asked, horrified.

"After a little fun with Mal'tek and a pain stick, yeah. But like I said, nothing I can't handle. And Daniel?" The younger man met Jack's eyes. He was giving him the same look he gave green officers, the one he used when he meant business and intimidation was the goal. "I don't want her to know."

Daniel shook his head. "She's going to find out. How can you hide that from her?"

Jack shrugged on his jacket; his teammates had removed Sam from the bed of jackets in favor of the coolness of the cave floor. "For now she doesn't need to know. She's got enough to worry about."

"Okay, fine," Daniel conceded. "She's had a high grade temperature, but Teal'c and I have managed to get it down. She's been completely out of it almost since you left," he told Jack, crossing his arms.

Jack nodded and gazed unabashedly at Sam. Her cheeks were slightly flushed and her hair damp. Jack sighed. "You…you don't think Tisiphone's right, do you? About her-"

"O'Neill."

The two humans looked to their previously silent friend. "I am aware of what the Kek can do to a person. I have never come into contact with it myself, but I have heard the stories." Teal'c paused, his face showing great worry. "I fear for Major Carter's life."

Jack's head hung at this admission, but his troubled thoughts were interrupted by Sam's faint voice.

"Sir?"

"Yeah, I'm right here," he answered, grasping her hand. She feebly attempted to squeeze his hand in return. "We're all here. How are you?" Jack didn't want to give her the chance to start worrying about him.

"I hurt."

"Where?"

Sam closed her eyes as if trying to pinpoint the exact location of whatever was causing her discomfort. "Everywhere…my chest…worse…"

"Your chest hurts?" Jack coaxed.

"Yes," Sam's fatigued voice replied. "You?" she wondered, concerned.

"I'm fine." Jack smiled to calm her fears and gently squeezed her hand.

Sam looked as though she didn't believe him, but she didn't press the matter.

Jack didn't let his own reservations seep through his façade. It was less than a day since the onset of visible symptoms and she was already so far gone. In the recesses of his mind, Jack feared Sam wouldn't even last the few days Tisiphone had predicted.

Jack felt Daniel nudge him and he took the bowl of food the archaeologist offered. "Dinner time. Let's eat," he told Sam in an authoritative voice.

"Not hungry."

"I'm not taking no for an answer. You need to keep your strength up," Jack said firmly.

"And I said I'm not hungry," she muttered.

"You'll be hungry sooner or later. If you don't eat now, who knows when you'll get the chance," he tried to convince her.

"Water?"

Jack nodded and grasped the cup Daniel handed him. Sam tried to sit up, tried to drink it on her own, but her body wasn't cooperating with her will. Jack took control of the situation and helped her lift her head to the cup. Sam drank thirstily and didn't stop until she began to feel nauseous.

"Food?" Jack asked, holding the bowl up with a slight smile.

Sam shook her head disobediently. "No."

"Carter." Jack ran his hand across his face then looked back at his 2IC. "You have to fight this, Sam. You're a fighter. From the first day I met you I knew that. Don't let her win. We're gonna get you out of here and Doc Fraiser will have you fixed up in no time."

"That'd be nice, sir," she rasped. "I just hope I can-"

"You can. Just hold on. _Please_."

Sam cringed and put a hand to her chest. She willed the pain away then looked to Jack and her food.

"A few bites is all I'm asking," Jack told her, praying his face didn't show the anxiety he felt so strongly on the inside.

Sam gave a slight nod of compliance.

Jack assisted her in sitting up. He couldn't believe how lethargic she'd become in such a short period of time. He knew Sam felt frustrated, especially when he had to resort to spoon-feeding her the last few bites. He hoped that the sustenance would give her a small boost of energy.

His hopes were dashed as she retched what little she'd consumed. Sam looked miserably at the mess she'd made, and no one in the group missed the blood stained mucus that had come up as well.

o-O-o

Jack leaned against the wall, only his shoulder blades touching. His back was on fire, but it paled in comparison to what else was going on. Sam was cushioned between his legs, her back against his chest. She had scared Jack earlier; she'd frightened all of them.

Sam had been resting when she'd begun complaining about chest pains. The fact that she'd even mentioned it at all meant something was very wrong. Her breathing, which had been somewhat normal up to that point, had started to become more labored. This only caused more pain for Sam, but there was nothing Jack or the rest of his team could do for her.

Her breathing had soon grown more rapid until her breath came in gasps and pants. Jack had tried some techniques that might help Sam control her breathing, but without success. He'd fervently wished for Janet's aid; Sam was getting worse and she needed more help than he or the guys could provide. Then Jack had done something not so conventional.

Jack had scooted her against him. He'd crossed his arms across her chest, pressing one palm to her pounding heart. With soothing words he'd tried to calm her. Taking deep breaths, he'd told her to focus on him and only on him, to inhale and exhale together.

She'd clutched at his arms, doing the best she could to follow his instructions. And it had worked. The attack was brought under control. She'd rested against him, worn out. That had been a few hours before, and he feared another attack was rearing its ugly head.

Sam shifted, her hair causing a tickling sensation on his cheek.

"You okay?" Jack whispered.

"No…"

He felt her fingers begin to dig into his arms.

Round two.

Jack closed his eyes, listening for her breathing. He felt the attack begin more than he actually heard it. Then came the sounds it physically hurt him to hear.

"Sir…I…ca…n't …" Sam gasped.

"Yes, you can. Remember what we did last time. Concentrate on me."

Sam nodded, attempting to steady her breath. When it didn't come as easily as before, she began to feel flustered, and that only exacerbated the situation. Sam's chest heaved. "Sir…p…please!"

The desperation and panic in her voice made every hair on his body stand on end. He was trying! He inhaled and exhaled deeper breaths, urging her to go through the same motions. "Come on, Carter. You can do this. Breathe in with me."

But she didn't. Her breaths still came erratically and he could feel her hands grasp, ungrasp, then regrasp his arms.

Sam's lungs begged for air, but she couldn't fill them. Her chest felt like it was going to explode. She tried to fall into rhythm with her CO's inhalations and exhalations, but she couldn't.

"Carter! Focus!" Jack barked it out like an order, commanding her to comply. He shook his head in frustration, glancing to Daniel and Teal'c. He'd almost forgotten they were there. He had tunnel vision and it was focused on Sam.

Sam panted out something Jack couldn't make sense of. Her fingers were loosening their hold on him. Jack set his jaw resolutely. She wasn't going to lose this battle.

"Come on, Sam. Don't do this to me!"

Sam's body pressed against his with each intake of breath, then pulled away when she let it out. Jack drew her back to him, inhaling deeply. He leaned forwards with her to exhale.

Sam began to catch on, her shuddering body finally falling into sync with his. The burning sensation lessened as the cool air reached her starved lungs.

"That's it. You've got it, Sam. Just breathe." Jack let out his own shaky breath, relief flooding through him. Sam's head lolled back and he was pretty sure she'd lost consciousness. He decided that was okay. As long as he felt the rise and fall of her chest and the beat of her heart under his palm, he still had hope.

TBC in 'Twilight'


	25. Twilight

Ch. 24 Twilight

Only one more episode had occurred during the night, but it hadn't been as bad and they'd reigned it in quickly. Sam slept out of pure exhaustion, curled into Daniel's side. She was beginning to wheeze slightly, and the noise completely unnerved the men.

Jack's stinging back was the last thing on his mind as he paced the room. He wished there was a way to convince Tisiphone to use her healing device on Sam. He'd even willingly become a host if he knew he could save Sam. He stared down the hallway, his face resting against the bars. They'd have to make their move soon.

o-O-o

"Daniel?"

"Yeah, Sam?" Daniel wondered, his voice soft.

"I just wanted to say…thank you," Sam rasped, finding the simple task of communicating with her teammate tiring.

"For what?"

"For everything. You've been one of the best…friends I've ever had."

Daniel's eyes widened. "No, Sam. No. Do not talk like that." He shifted them both so he could look into her eyes.

"I just… You need to know." Her blue eyes searched his. They were devoid of their usual luster; they had been for days.

The corners of Daniel's lips threatened to pull into a grimace. It hurt him to hear her speaking like this, but he kept his expression neutral. "I know, Sam. And you're welcome."

She leaned heavily against her friend, and Daniel took her back into his arms to make her more comfortable.

"You're not giving up on me, on us, okay?"

Sam shook her head. She coughed and the effort rattled her body violently. Once the spasm passed, she laid her head against Daniel's chest, sighing.

"And thank you, Sam," Daniel whispered. A lump was forming in his throat, but he spoke around it. "I never had a sister…but you're better than what I ever imagined it to be." Sam didn't respond and he leaned down and laid a kiss atop her head.

Then, it was so faint that for a second he wasn't sure he'd heard her correctly, or even heard anything at all. But as he comprehended, Daniel replied with a sad smile. "I love you too, Sam."

o-O-o

"Is this satisfactory, Major Carter?" Teal'c asked as he zipped Sam's jacket.

The woman nodded, shivering slightly. She rested on Teal'c and the large man held her close.

"Teal'c?"

"Yes, Major Carter?"

"Don't stop me…just let me talk." Sam's plea was soft, but determined. She had something to say, words she needed to speak.

Teal'c bowed his head, signaling her to continue. "I am listening."

There was a pause before Sam began. "Thanks for being there for me…for being a friend. I've…I've learned so much from you."

"And I from you. You have proven yourself a true warrior. I am proud to have served by your side."

Sam glanced up at her comrade. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Do not be sorry for things you cannot change. You must hold on as long as you can. Do not give in, no matter what the inevitable is," Teal'c told her. "If this is indeed the end, you have fought valiantly and there is nothing to apologize for."

"Thank you," Sam replied earnestly. Leave it to Teal'c to be direct. At least he was being honest with her.

"I believe if anyone can survive the Kek, it is you, Samantha." Sam started at the use of her given name. "You are strong and have resolve I have not seen in many others. You have much to live for." Teal'c broke off, stopping to control his own emotions. "Samantha, know that I care deeply for you, and that I have nothing but the utmost respect and honor for you."

Sam nodded against his chest, tears pooling in her eyes and not the strength to fight them. He was saying what _he_ needed to say, and Sam was comforted by this. A light smile played on her lips as she slipped into unconsciousness.

o-O-o

Sam woke and squeezed her eyes shut at the pain that almost immediately assaulted her senses. With every breath she took, her chest ached. Sam felt listless and barely had the will to stay awake. Actually, she barely had the will to do anything. But there was something she had to do.

"Sir…"

Immediately Jack was there. He must have been the whole time and she'd just not realized it. Sam struggled to keep her eyes open.

"Yeah?"

"I need you…to tell my…dad…" Sam trailed off.

"I'm not going to have to tell him anything, Carter. Except what a great job you did here and how proud he should be."

Sam's stomach did involuntary flip-flops at his compliment. She smiled softly, but she still had to give him a message. "Tell him I…love him…and I'm sorry…"

"Shhh…" Jack whispered. "No apologizing. And you'll tell Jacob you love him yourself."

Sam shook her head. "As much…as I wanna…go home..." She paused, gathering strength to continue. "I don't think so…not this time."

"Carter…"

She heard the conflict in his voice, but it didn't stop her from going on. "You get the chance…go…leave me," Sam wheezed.

"No. No one gets left behind. You know that," Jack reminded her, gently but firmly. His face contorted at the rise and fall of Sam's chest. She was struggling.

"Not afraid…to die…just don't want…" Sam had known, since the first time she'd stepped through the gate, that death was always a very real possibility. It could happen in an instant. In fact, it had. She'd already had more chances at life than most people ever would. And even if there were a chance at escape, she didn't know if Janet could help her. Sam could feel it in every fiber of her body. She wouldn't last another night.

"You're not going to die. Okay? You can't," Jack said. His hand finally crept towards hers and their fingers intertwined. The coolness of her skin troubled him.

Sam's gaze fell questionably on Jack.

"I haven't taken you fishing yet," he told her lightly. Then he grew serious again. "It's not your time yet, Carter." Sam's eyes closed and Jack rubbed his thumb along hers, bringing her back around.

She blinked wearily at Jack. "Fishing…sounds nice…"

Jack stared at Sam, unable to tear his eyes away. Words that had been etched into his memory now played like a broken record in his head. _I'd rather die myself than lose Carter_. Those words were truer now than they had been then.

Even in the most desperate of times, they couldn't admit their feelings. Deep down, though he'd never say it, he didn't think they were going to make it out this time. He was watching Sam slip away before his very eyes and was unable to do a thing.

Sam's hand gently pulled away from his and she reached around her neck, pulling her dog tags into view. Her fingers shook, but she was able to unhook the smaller of the two chains. One set of tags fell limply to her chest and she grasped the metal into her hand. Without a word, Sam placed it in Jack's palm.

His chest constricted as he stared blankly at the chain and tag. It became a blur of silver as he felt his emotions bubble to the surface.

"Sir…I'm dying…"

Jack shook his head. He wasn't prepared to hear this. "Don't give up on me."

The blonde looked at him sorrowfully. "I don't…want to…"

"Then don't!" Jack stressed. God, he couldn't lose her. "Sam, I ne-"

"Don't," she interrupted. "Please. No more…regrets." Sam's eyes begged him to understand. The last thing she needed to hear was a confession from him. No matter that it would be exactly what she'd always wanted to hear. But it would only add to her regrets, knowing what could have been…what should have been. This ambiguity they had, even though in their hearts they knew the truth, that's what had to be kept up.

"Sam…"

Just to hear him use her name with such raw emotion and desperation, an admission would surely break her heart. All the missed opportunities, the chances they'd let slip by, and now here they were. They would never get to discover what it would have been like. And it was better not to know, even in what she knew were the last hours of her life. If Sam should die, she would do so with the status quo firmly in place.

TBC in 'Darkness Falls'


	26. Darkness Falls

Ch. 25 Darkness Falls

"There has to be something. _Something_." Daniel folded his arms across his chest, worry creasing his brow.

"Tretonin?"

Daniel and Teal'c looked in surprise at Jack.

"Tretonin?" the archaeologist questioned.

"I don't know. Wouldn't it give her immune system a boost?" Jack wondered. He was almost willing to try anything.

"Jack, it wouldn't help her. The tretonin Teal'c has was designed specifically for Jaffa physiology. It's a no go," Daniel relayed, shooting down the idea.

"Well, why didn't Jolinar give her some sort of immunity?" Jack asked, frustrated.

"Maybe remnants aren't enough. Maybe she'd need a live symbiote to stave off this illness," Daniel told him.

"We're not doing that," Jack said firmly. That would be condemning her to death as well, just by a different method.

The men fell dismally silent, and all that could be heard was the painful sound of Sam trying to breathe, the rattle of fluid in her chest. The sounds of Sam fighting for her life.

o-O-o

"_You are strong, Major Carter. You will prevail…"_

"_I know it's hard to breathe, Sam, but you have to…"_

"_You made it through the night, Carter. You're doing great…"_

Sam could hear the voices of her companions. Though she didn't comprehend every syllable, she knew they were speaking words of encouragement and reassurance. Occasionally, she would feel their warm hands on her cool skin. Sam could differentiate between them. Teal'c's large hands running along her arms, trying to warm her as her body shook with chills. Daniel's smaller ones resting on her forehead, running through her hair in a soothing motion, trying to fix the unfixable. And then Jack's strong hold that had kept her secure through the night.

While she could sense their worry, had they not all been there, she certainly wouldn't have made it until morning. She hadn't the strength to open her eyes, or to even thank them, but Sam was grateful. Grateful until she was jerked out of her illness induced daze.

Sam had focused so hard on breathing. Every breath hurt; something so simple was now a task far more difficult than anything she had ever tried to do. As soon as she was moved, Sam's chest exploded in pain. Stabbing bolts of fire raced from her chest and danced throughout her body. She would have screamed if her dry throat would have let her. Her eyes fluttered open and she knew Jack had hoisted her into his arms. But why?

"No…" It came out as more of a mumble, but she would let it be known she was displeased.

"Come on, Carter. Work with me here!"

There was an urgency in her CO's voice and an underlying fear that, even in her condition, she didn't miss. Sam felt the movement of air flow past her. Jack was running. Running? Her brain could _not_ understand what was going on, but she would trust Jack implicitly.

o-O-o

Jack O'Neill raced down the dank corridors of Tisiphone's complex, precious cargo in his arms. He knew Sam was hurting as she clasped his shirt and buried her face in his jacket. But he didn't feel guilty, not if they were escaping. Their chance had come. Three guards lay unconscious in their cell. His team ran, now armed, to freedom.

"The rings are…here! This way!" Daniel called quietly, but urgently. He waited for his three friends to pile onto the platform, then he pressed in the correct sequence. Jumping into position, the familiar wash of light took them away.

On the surface, they found the day bleak and dreary. Even still, the daylight hurt their eyes. Teal'c overcame the uncomfortableness first, his eyes scanning the area for Jaffa. When he found it clear, he became uneasy. This was too simple.

"Let's go. Carter said the gate's this way," Jack said, tilting his head in the direction Sam had told them the gate lay in. She was becoming heavier in his arms, but he refused to hand her to Teal'c or Daniel. He would get Sam to the gate. He would get her home.

The foursome made their way along the trail, hiking along the side so as to not be in direct sight. Teal'c had a staff weapon, Daniel a zat and knife, and Jack a zat. When only three guards had come, they had taken the chance. They had almost not overpowered them, and they had the bruises to show it. However, anger and desperation had given them that extra bit of adrenaline needed to escape.

Jack was beginning to think they'd never find the gate. Each step seemed to take an eternity and each gasp of air Sam took was almost in sync with his steps. That wasn't normal…it wasn't right.

"Sir…"

He heard her, barely, but he didn't slow. Jack only picked up his pace. "We're almost there, Carter. Almost."

"Stop…"

"Come on. Just a little farther," he returned. They couldn't stop now.

Sam fingers were digging painfully into his chest now as she clutched at his t-shirt. Her breathing was becoming more rapid.

"Please…"

So close.

"Jack!" His name came out in a frantic plea.

Jack froze.

On any other day, the archaeologist behind him might have run right into Jack, but Daniel came to a quick halt. Teal'c paused, then turned to the man and woman behind him.

Jack could see the obvious distress Sam was in. He swallowed hard, then gave the rest of his team an order. "Go on to the gate. Make sure it's clear." Jack looked from Daniel to Teal'c, then shook his head in frustration at their hesitation. "Go!" Sam trembled against his chest as the two nodded in acquiescence, took one last look at Sam, then headed stealthily down the trail.

Jack pushed through the underbrush, finding a more secluded location. He gently set Sam down and she leaned back against a tree trunk. "Okay, Carter. What's going on?" His concerned gaze ran over his major and he bit his lip anxiously. She was having another attack.

Sam's body heaved as she tried to catch her breath, but she was like a fish out of water. Her eyes were tightly shut and her blue tinged lips were parted, gasping for air that would not reach her lungs.

"Carter, focus. Come on, Sam." Jack placed his hands on her shoulders. "Calm down. We're almost to the gate."

Sam shook her head, her face contorted in pain and fear. That was when Jack realized she was not having another attack. That was when he realized how bad things had actually gotten. She simply could not breathe. Her breathing was erratic and quick as she struggled to get enough oxygen. Jack knew if she didn't receive medical attention soon…her body couldn't take this strain much longer. He closed his eyes, trying not to let the agonizing sounds Sam was making completely unnerve him.

A chill ran down Jack's spine as he heard the sound of a horn, a signal Tisiphone's men knew they had escaped. Crap. "We gotta move," he told her.

Sam pushed at him as he tried to lift her. She couldn't move, not again.

"No!" Jack insisted, his voice low but stern. "Don't fight me!"

He paused when the clank of a Jaffa contingent reached his ears. From the sound of it, they were coming closer. "Carter," Jack started. How were they going to do this? "You have to be quiet. They're coming this way. You just have to…" Sam would surely give away their position. Her breathing was labored and would be heard by the passing Jaffa.

Sam didn't, couldn't_,_ comply. It was difficult enough to breathe and too great a task to curtail it. She was disappointing him, she knew.

"Carter!" Jack looked around helplessly before making a quick decision. He clamped his hand over Sam's mouth. God forgive him, but he didn't have a choice. Her short breaths pounded against his palm, but the sound was muffled.

Sam's eyes widened as she found it more difficult to inhale and exhale. It wasn't completely lost on her that they were in trouble and that she needed to be quiet, but she wasn't quite sure what to do. She met Jack's panicking eyes and she knew she had to do something. Sam inhaled as much as she could and did not let the breath out.

Now the sound of Jaffa passing was crystal clear. Sam prayed they would move by quickly. She couldn't do this much longer…she couldn't. The burning sensation spreading throughout her body threatened to make her lose consciousness. It just hurt so badly. Tears slipped down her cheeks and over Jack's knuckles.

Jack's free hand found hers and held it tightly. Even as the contingent passed only a few feet to his left, Jack kept his eyes trained on Sam. His dark eyes bore into her blue, supporting her, giving her a reason to last a few extra seconds.

Finally, the Jaffa moved on and Jack released his hold on Sam. She sputtered and coughed, trying to start breathing again. Jack rubbed soothing circles on her back as Sam clutched her chest. She inhaled deeply, but only got a fraction of the necessary air.

Jack frowned. They'd overcome another obstacle, but he couldn't move her again, not like this. "It's all right. Just catch your breath," he told her softly. Jack hoped she would be able to. They weren't going to make it this far just to lose her.

Sam glanced up at him, then past him. The look of pure terror on her face gave him pause. Slowly and cautiously, he reached for his zat. His heart skipped a beat at the sizzle of a priming staff weapon.

Jack swiveled around and found himself face to face with the weapon.

And Mal'tek.

"Give me the zat'ni'katel," the First Prime ordered. He didn't even blink as more Jaffa came up behind him, pushing through the underbrush.

Jack knew he was outnumbered. He was desperate to protect Sam, to get her home. But he could only hope Daniel and Teal'c were having better luck. He handed the weapon to Mal'tek.

"Stand up, O'Neill. And do not play games. Samantha is weak," he observed. He looked thoughtfully at the zat in his hand. "She would surely not survive even one shot."

"Okay," Jack capitulated. He rose to his feet, surrendering.

"Where are your friends?" Mal'tek asked, waving Jack away from Sam, towards his men.

"They're…not here," Jack replied cryptically as he moved in the direction Mal'tek desired.

"Do not test my patience."

"I don't know. We stopped and they kept going. That's all I know." Jack hoped he would buy it, but he doubted it. He was certain Mal'tek must know they were fleeing for the gate.

"Never mind. They will be found and you will all pay for this insolence. Especially her." Mal'tek studied the woman before him carefully.

"She had nothing to do with this. It was my idea to break out. She…she needs to go home. Just let me send her. Then you can do whatever you want to me," Jack requested.

Mal'tek made a sour face. "I do not want you, Colonel. You only amuse me," he scoffed. The First Prime reached down and pulled Sam up by the arm. A small, strangled whimper escaped her lips.

Jack stepped forward, only to be blocked by the other Jaffa. "Please! Please." _Please let her go. Please don't hurt her. _

"She is dying, is she not?" Mal'tek released his hold on the woman and she crumpled to the ground. Sam still struggled for air that she would never receive.

Mal'tek pointed the zat at her, a menacing grin on his face. "Perhaps I should put her out of her misery."

"No!" Jack cried, even as Mal'tek squeezed the trigger.

The electric crackle of the zat gun rang in Jack's ears, followed by an unnatural silence. He stood motionless, shocked. And then Jack realized…he could no longer hear Sam's breathing.

TBC in 'And Then There Were Three'


	27. And Then There Were Three

Ch. 26 And Then There Were Three

"Hmph," Mal'tek muttered disdainfully, gazing at the fallen woman before him. With his boot he jabbed her in the stomach. When he found no response, he sneered at Jack. "Useless, pathetic woman."

A cold chill twisted Jack's stomach. He couldn't move, couldn't react…couldn't comprehend.

No.

They'd been so close.

And he'd stopped.

Jack finally found the courage to look down. The still form of his 2IC lay sideways on the ground, faced away from him. There was no rise and fall, steady or otherwise, to indicate she was breathing. He swallowed.

Mal'tek watched the man in front of him. To shake Jack from his stunned stupor, he pushed his boot against Sam's body, rolling her to her back.

Jack's gaze didn't settle on the pale, fragile body of his friend. Instead it focused on the man who had tortured her in life and now mocked her in death. In that moment Jack snapped. He leapt towards Mal'tek, rage filling his mind.

Mal'tek simply fired the zat he still held in his hand. Jack rolled to the ground, cursing. "You are stubborn, O'Neill. And foolish."

Jack was barely managing to stay conscious. The desire for revenge and bloodshed was strong, but part of him wished for Mal'tek to just fire the second shot.

The First Prime motioned to his companions. "Take care of him, then find the others. I will present the body to Tisiphone myself." He holstered his zat and handed his staff weapon to a waiting Jaffa. Effortlessly, he picked Sam up in his arms, cradling her body against his chest.

Jack knew he wouldn't get another chance to see her. But he didn't want to remember her like this; he wanted to remember the vibrant soul who had started this mission. Still, he couldn't stop his eyes from resting momentarily on her face. Jack's heart lurched to his throat. Then Mal'tek turned away, pulling Sam from his view. And for that, Jack was strangely grateful. The large man signaled for one Jaffa to trail him, then pushed through the foliage and towards the base, taking Sam with him.

Jack struggled to sit up, shock and anger still welling in his chest. His mind hadn't completely wrapped around the events that had just occurred.

A staff weapon prodded him. "Get up and show us where your friends are," came a command.

Daniel. Teal'c.

"At the Chappa'ai?"

Jack couldn't lose them, too.

"Where are they, human?" The annoyed Jaffa kicked him in the stomach.

Jack wasn't telling them anything.

"Would you like to join your female friend?"

Yes. Please.

He stifled a grunt as the Jaffa ground his foot into his back. Jack quickly pushed up, throwing the man off balance. However, another Jaffa brought his staff weapon down on Jack's upper back, causing him to fall back forward. He caught himself before he hit his knees and spun around, backing against the tree Sam had been leaning on. He had effectively cornered himself.

Jack counted four Jaffa all together. Not good. He doubted he could fight them all off, even though he felt capable of ripping their heads from their shoulders. Or he could just let them put him out of his misery. He soon discovered he wouldn't have to necessarily do either. Jack became aware of Daniel and Teal'c's presence long before the group of men did.

And for a split second, all Jack could think was how he was going to explain to them he'd lost Sam.

His train of thought was forced to deal with the present as Teal'c took down one of the Jaffa with a staff blast. Daniel fired his zat once, twice. Jack rushed the Jaffa that had given him strife. They tumbled to the ground.

Jack's fists pounded into the man's face over and over. He was sure unimaginable expletives were coming out of his mouth, but he couldn't stop his rage from boiling over. The warmth of blood smeared across his knuckles, but he kept swinging. He only stopped when Teal'c caught his arm and Daniel questioned him.

"Jack, we gotta go. Where's Sam?"

Daniel's inquiry gave Jack pause. He looked around. The other three Jaffa were dead and the one below him was unconscious. "We…"

"Jack?"

The older man could hear the fear slip into Daniel's voice. Jack pulled away from Teal'c and stood to his feet. "We have to go. Now."

"But Sam?" Daniel asked again, handing Jack a staff weapon for self-defense. He watched Jack closely, and beneath the dark, angry eyes, there was something else. Something he was hiding. "Jack, where is she?" His voice was higher, more anxious.

"Gone, Daniel. Let's go." Jack kept his emotions masked as he turned toward the path. "Is the gate clear?"

"Yes…for now. But gone? Jack! Wait!" Daniel grabbed Jack by the arm, pulling him around.

Jack spun towards the man. He couldn't make the words leave his mouth, but there was no other way to make Daniel understand. Jack looked from Daniel to Teal'c. He owed them an explanation. "Carter…Sam…didn't…"

Jack slightly shook his head, letting the façade fall away for just a moment, and neither man missed it. They saw the loss and the anguish.

And for the second time the woods fell eerily silent.

Daniel's mouth had dropped in disbelief. Teal'c's grip had tightened on his staff weapon and his usually emotionless face held an expression of shock.

The sounding of a horn prompted the stunned group into action. Jack and Teal'c turned towards the trail, but Daniel didn't move.

"Daniel Jackson, we must leave," Teal'c pressed quietly.

"Teal'c, no! We…we can't just leave he-"

"Daniel, no." Jack cut him off. "Mal'tek took her. She's gone."

"But-"

"Carter's dead, Daniel! If there were any way possible…I swear I'd…" Jack paused, swallowing his pain. "I'm making a command decision. A decision to save the rest of my team. _Now move!_" His patience had worn thin, his emotions bubbling too close to the surface. He turned, leaving the shocked archaeologist.

Daniel, sullen, hurried behind Jack and Teal'c. Teal'c was point and led the way. All three were numb, moving through the woods almost on autopilot. No words were spoken as they trekked towards the gate.

Teal'c slowed to a stop as they came to the clearing that held the DHD and gate. Three guards lay lifeless about the area.

"Okay, Daniel, dial the Alpha site," Jack ordered, surveying the land around the gate. He saw no movement, but he was certain Jaffa were right behind them. The men left the shelter of the tree line and ran to the DHD.

Daniel began to dial as quickly as he could, even though reservations pulled at him. Sam was gone? Just like that?

The gate kawooshed to life and Jack waved the rest of his team towards the shimmering horizon. On any other occasion, he would have never been so pleased to see the way home so open and clear. But a large part of him was being left behind.

Jack pushed Daniel through, not giving the man time to argue. "Go, Teal'c," Jack told the Jaffa, refusing to look him directly in the eye. Though he knew Sam was really gone, he couldn't walk through that gate. Not without trying everything possible, everything he could.

Teal'c grasped Jack's arm firmly. "O'Neill. Do not. You would never make it."

How did Teal'c know? It was suicide to go back, even if only to claim a body, but Jack couldn't make himself leave.

"Teal'c, go. I'll be right behind you," Jack tried to convince him. Shouts in the distance startled him. "Go!" he yelled, pushing at Teal'c. Jack would make sure his surviving friends got home if it was the last thing he did, but the larger man did not relent.

"It would serve no purpose to go back, O'Neill. Do not die in vain." Teal'c's hold was no longer gentle, but more forceful and pulling him towards the gate. "She would not want this!"

"Teal'c, for crying out loud, let me go!" Jack struggled, but he was no match for Teal'c. He didn't have the heart to resist him either, to order him. Not that he would listen anyway. Teal'c _was_ right. Jack finally met his friend's eyes. He saw pain there he was sure was reflected in his own.

"I will not lose you as well," Teal'c told him gravely as they hovered inches from the Stargate's event horizon. The danger was coming closer, shouts growing louder. "Now go."

Jack did not fight. He stepped through the gate, a broken man.

o-O-o

Stargate Command had been awaiting the day when the klaxons would herald SG-1's arrival home.

As the code for the Alpha Site came through, Hammond gave the order to open the iris. He wasn't sure what was happening; they had already had their scheduled check in.

Two airmen came through the gate. They paused at the end of the ramp and turned expectantly. Not far behind them came three figures. Filthy, bloody, and worn. Tired, overwhelmed, and grief-stricken.

A hush fell over the gate room as it became clear who the travelers were. Hammond's journey down the staircase took an eternity, each step bringing him closer to a truth he did not want to know.

Stargate Command had been waiting for SG-1 to return; they always came home. They just hadn't been expecting this.

TBC in 'No Man Sleeps'


	28. No Man Sleeps

A/N: Thanks for reading and reviewing…I hope I haven't scared you all off!

In my mind, this story has three parts. We've just wrapped up part one- SG-1's time on the planet. This chapter begins the second part- the remaining members dealing with the loss of Sam and the spread of Tisiphone's empire. It is the shortest of the three parts. And the third section of this story? Well, I can't tell you what that's about! ;)

In _Meridian_ and_ Revelations _we got to see a glimpse of how the team would handle losing a member. However, this is fan fiction, and we can delve deeper than the show did. So shall we continue?

Ch. 27 No Man Sleeps

Walter Harriman sat silently at his post in the control room. He stared at the circular object in front of him, the device that had brought SG-1 home hours before. Except it hadn't been SG-1, not all of them.

He'd seen them make their way down the ramp. Walter had watched as Fraiser had run in. He'd witnessed the questions, then the surprise and shock. He couldn't hear their words, but he could read their expressions. Something had gone terribly wrong.

For a time, the base had held its breath, hoping against hope that the fourth member of the team was still out there somewhere, that they just needed to pull together a team to find her.

Then, slowly, the news spread. It was treated with reverence and respect, unlike the gossip that got passed around the mountain. It had stunned everybody. No one could quite comprehend it, including Walter. Major Carter wasn't coming home.

The SGC would mourn her loss. The entire universe would. They did not know of the guardian angel who had watched over them. They would never know her name or the sacrifices she'd made. How many times had it been she, and she alone, who had saved them from dangers they could not fathom? But now she was gone, and the threat was still very real. The day would come, Walter feared, when the universe would weep for Samantha Carter.

o-O-o

George Hammond's head rested in his hands. Tonight he felt older than his years. He felt deflated. Not that he wasn't grateful for the return of Jack, Daniel, and Teal'c, but losing one of your own was never easy.

He had met Sam when she was a young girl and had seen her occasionally through the years. She'd grown up into a beautiful, successful woman. When she had been placed under his command, Hammond had been thrilled. He knew what an advantage Samantha Carter was to any endeavor. He had never been disappointed.

Hammond had watched her mature over the last seven years. From a Captain, then to a Major, deserving every accolade she received. Sam was ready, he knew, for another promotion. An upgrade to Lieutenant Colonel had been in her future. The paperwork had already been started.

The general sighed, massaging his forehead. There had been no debriefing, not that day. Everything was still raw, the remaining members of SG-1 devastated. He didn't know where the team had gone after they'd been let out of the infirmary, but Hammond knew they were together, drawing strength from each other. Their teammate hadn't gone down in a blaze of glory saving the world, but slowly and torturously. It had affected them profoundly. Though they were one less tonight, their bond had been reinforced on that planet. They would grieve together, and one day, even begin to heal.

o-O-o

Cassandra Fraiser set her purse on the kitchen table. It was late, probably later than her mother would have liked her to get home. Why she wasn't up waiting, Cassie wasn't sure. Her car was there and she had been expecting the petite woman to be waiting expectantly for her. But the lights were out as Cassie made her way to the stairs. Just maybe she could sneak up to her room…

She stopped midway through the living room, catching sight of her mom sitting on the couch. She held her breath, ready for the diatribe, but it didn't come. Cassie silently found a seat next to Janet.

"Mom?" Something was wrong. She was sure of it when Janet didn't reply. In the light of a passing car, Cassie caught a glimpse of her mother's tear streaked face. Her stomach twisted nervously.

Janet sniffled slightly, turning to Cassie. She quickly drew her daughter into a tight hug. Cassie returned the gesture, still puzzled. "Mom, what is it?"

The doctor gave Cassie one last squeeze and pulled away. She hung her head slightly, her eyes downcast. "I…"

Cassie grasped Janet's hands. "Tell me. Is…is it work?" She'd only seen her cry a few times before, and it had been work related.

Janet nodded almost imperceptibly.

Her mom had a difficult job, and sometimes she just had to vent. It had been especially hard this past week or so, with SG-1 missing. The sick feeling in Cassie's gut intensified. "SG-1?"

Another minute shake of the head.

Oh, God. This was bad. It wasn't at all what she wanted to hear. Cassie had certainly been worried while SG-1 was missing in action. But in the back of her mind, she had never been very troubled. SG-1 always came back; it was what they did. Now, she wasn't so sure. "Did they…I mean, are they…home?" she ventured timidly.

"Cassandra, honey…" Janet paused. "Jack, Daniel, and Teal'c…they came through from the Alpha Site this afternoon."

Cassie swallowed the lump in her throat. "Are they okay?

"They will be," Janet nodded.

"And what about Sam?" Cassie asked, untangling her hands from Janet's.

"She-"

"Is she at the Alpha Site?" The panic was rising in her chest.

"No, Ca-"

"Well, where is she?" Cassie stood to her feet. "Are they looking for her?"

Janet shook her head.

"Why not?" The young woman's voice cracked.

"Cassie, sit down. Let me explain."

"Is she trapped? Hurt? What?" Tears welled up in Cassandra's eyes. She didn't understand. She didn't know if she wanted to.

"No, she isn't," Janet said gently, her voice soothing.

"Don't use that tone with me, Mom," Cassie said warily. She closed her eyes and she knew the truth. Her mother had never danced around Sam getting injured or tried to hide when she was in trouble off world. The understanding that she couldn't find the words to tell her, that was all Cassie really needed to know.

She looked to her second mom, whispering. "She's not coming back, is she?"

"No," Janet replied softly.

A sob tore from Cassie's throat. "No!"

Janet rose quickly, reaching for her. "I'm so sorry, sweetie." She crushed the younger woman to her, never wanting to let go. Her heart was breaking. This girl had lost so much. Why did life have to be so cruel to her? Not once, but twice?

"What happened? Why? I don't…I can't…" Cassie crumbled into her mother's arms, the small woman barely able to keep her upright.

Janet was reliving the moment when Daniel had told her; she couldn't put her daughter through that. Not now. She just rocked Cassie's trembling form.

She wished briefly she could be detached from this situation. Janet didn't want to feel this pain. But Sam had had a way of worming her way into your heart. Cassie had adored her; Janet had found a kindred soul. Detachment wasn't possible. Once you met Samantha Carter, there was no way you would ever be the same.

o-O-o

Teal'c sat quietly, candlelight playing on his solemn features. He was not alone; Daniel sat nearby. Their leader had accompanied them to dinner, and even to Teal'c's quarters, but Jack had recently left. Teal'c knew he needed time to deal with this alone.

The moment he had met the humans from Earth, Teal'c had known they were different. Specifically Sam. The lone woman in a group of male warriors, yet she was a soldier as well. He had turned his staff weapon over to her that day knowing she was a female, but also with the knowledge she was as competent as any of the men. She was worthy of his respect. And Sam had only proven herself time and time again, even on this last mission.

Never once did Teal'c consider her weak or anything but a fighter. When she would cry out during the torture, he did not look at her with distaste. He had done the same under such duress. When she had not the strength to move, Teal'c had not looked down upon her. He had helped her, as she would have helped him. Teal'c could never think less of her for being human, for having emotions. For needing them as she did in her last days. Sam had held on as long as she could, the best she could. She had never given in to Tisiphone or let Mal'tek take advantage of her. He was proud.

Only a few times before had Teal'c ever felt such pain and loss. Once had been when Daniel had ascended. But with Daniel, there had been some hope they would somehow hear from the young man again. They had and he had been returned to them. Teal'c could hope for the same with Sam, but it was best not to. He had to face the truth. She had indeed fought valiantly, but now she was gone.

Teal'c had long given up on Kel'no'reem. He glanced at Daniel, whose head rested on folded arms. Teal'c bowed his head somberly. Daniel was not the only one with a hole in his heart tonight.

o-O-o

A thousand thoughts ran through Daniel's head. Perhaps it was a defense mechanism, to not let himself think about recent events.

_Sam was dead. _

He just couldn't handle this…watching his best friend slip away like that. Day after day, enduring more torment and misery. Being at the mercy of those who wanted nothing more than to see her suffer. Being so weak that a single zat blast had extinguished her life. Done by a man for no other apparent reason than for revenge and spite. Where was the justice? There would probably never be any. Sam had died for nothing.

Daniel and Sam had always gotten along. Maybe it was the scientist part of them that first clicked, but their relationship had deepened considerably over the years. She'd become like family to him. She was smart, funny, and cute, her grin and laugh infectious. Everything about her was just perfect, even though he knew full well she wasn't faultless. Sam was an incredible person whose life had been cut short. Daniel didn't care that death was a risk they consciously took when they stepped through the gate. He knew that all too well. But it wasn't fair at all. Not for someone so vivacious, amazing, and remarkable to be lost in the way she had been.

Being locked away with his team for over a week, enduring what they had together, losing what they had…it had been reassuring to have Jack and Teal'c close by. But now Daniel needed some time to himself.

Rubbing his eyes, Daniel set his glasses back on his nose. Pulling himself to his feet, he nodded slightly to Teal'c. The other man acknowledged him with his eyes. Daniel smiled tightly then exited the room.

Tears pricked his eyes as he leaned against the hallway wall. Images of the past drifted through his mind. He sighed heavily. He would never get any sleep, not with these visions. The only thing he was grateful for was that he had not been there at the precise moment Sam had been shot. That would have haunted him for life. He sadly remembered Jack had witnessed it.

If Daniel thought he was having a tough time, he knew Jack was living in his own personal hell.

o-O-o

KIA. God, he hated that term with a vengeance. Jack paced his room, restless and angry. He had put on a calm, collected face from the moment he had stepped onto the gate ramp. He'd played the CO who had just lost a teammate in action, acted as if it was just part of the job. Jack had schooled his features quickly, not letting anyone see his anguish. He'd pushed his feelings aside and waited to be alone. That only added to his guilt.

Sam was dead and he still couldn't unmask his feelings. Daniel and Teal'c, they'd seen them briefly, but while he was wearing a straight-face in the gate room, his teammates hadn't even attempted to hide they were hurting. It hadn't crossed Jack's mind then, but the fact he had shown no emotion at all was more than likely a signal to others he was feeling the most.

Jack stopped his pacing, leaning his head against the wall. He breathed in deeply. The fears, reservations, and rules they'd let stand in the way seemed so insignificant now. He'd loved Sam for a long time, but he'd tried to never let that damage her or her career. Even though she'd never made any type of confession on the planet, Jack knew that she'd still cared for him. That whatever they had between them was still there. The extent of what she had still felt, Jack wasn't sure. But on his part, deep, abiding love remained.

He'd fallen for her and there would be no getting past Samantha Carter. There had definitely been a physical attraction at first. Sam was an extraordinarily beautiful woman. But then it had grown. He'd respected and admired her as a 2IC, as well as valued her as a close friend. A solid friendship had turned into more. Now he'd lost it all.

He slammed his fist against the wall halfheartedly. She wouldn't even let him tell her. Jack had never been good at words or acknowledging feelings, but something inside him had snapped on that mission. He'd wanted, _needed_, her to know. Maybe Sam didn't want to die knowing what could have been, but now Jack had to live with what would never be.

Jack felt tired, ready to resign. But he wouldn't. Not until Tisiphone was no longer a threat. Not until Mal'tek was dead by his hands. Jack needed retribution.

He let himself sink to the floor; Jack had no more strength to stand. He sighed as he closed his eyes. One of the things that hurt the most, that was killing him inside, was Sam's use of his given name. She'd said it so desperately, without reservation. Even more than that, he'd realized later, was that his name had been the last coherent word she'd uttered. A single plea to help her, but he'd failed her in every way.

TBC in 'Retrospect'

A/N 2: Check out my profile for some special extras. :)


	29. Retrospect

Ch. 28 Retrospect

A knock came at Jack's door. It was late morning and he'd not ventured beyond his quarters. He didn't want to see the sympathetic stares of the other personnel. Jack just didn't want to deal with…life.

He hadn't slept much the night before, and he was still in his wrinkled BDUs. Janet had done a fine job of patching his back up, though even that was beginning to ache again. But Jack didn't feel like fighting the pain. He begrudgingly made his way to the door and pulled it open. His heart leapt to his throat and his gut clinched.

Jacob Carter stood in the hallway, a cup of coffee in hand. "Jack."

Jack was certain he looked like a fish, gaping at the man before him. "J..Jacob…come in." Jack stepped aside, his pulse racing. Jacob had to know. He _had _to.

Jacob sat down at the small, round table and pushed the coffee towards the empty seat. Jack hesitantly sat down.

"Have a drink, Jack. It's for you. Selmak doesn't like coffee."

"Yes, sir," Jack murmured, taking the warm cup in his hand but not taking a drink.

"How are you?" Jacob questioned, studying the table a little too closely. He rubbed his thumb across the wood.

"Uh…" The younger man wasn't sure what to say. He wasn't doing well at all, but he could not be feeling what this man was. Jacob had lost his own flesh and blood.

"Sorry. Stupid question," Jacob sighed, finally meeting Jack's eyes. "I'm glad you're okay." They held each other's gazes for a moment before both looking away.

"George told me, Jack."

Out of respect, Jack made eye contact once again. He nodded slightly.

"And I know you did whatever you could to save her," Jacob said. His voice was low but steady.

"Jacob, I…" The truth was, Jack had let everyone down. He'd had Sam in his arms, so close to escape. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Don't apologize to me. Don't. I don't hold anything against you, Daniel, or Teal'c. I trusted you with Sam. I knew this could happen at any time. But I …" Jacob's voice trailed off. He cleared his throat, then spoke again. "I need to know what happened to my daughter on that planet."

Oh, God.

How could he even begin to explain? Where to start? Jack himself could not comprehend it all.

"She…she was real strong, Jacob. She never gave in." There was a hint of pride in Jack's words.

"Sounds like her. Stubborn." Jacob laughed lightly, but it was almost a sob. He shook his head determinedly. "That's my Sam."

Jack nodded. "You would have been proud. She's…she was…the strongest, most resolute individual. They couldn't…" Jack found it hard to go on.

"I suppose I should just settle for the 'she fought well and you should be proud' speech. But I've been out there, Jack. I know what it's like. I don't want to wonder what happened to my girl. I _need_ to know."

Jack cringed. He didn't even want to know, much less tell a father what injustices were committed against his child. "Jacob…"

"Jack," the Tok'ra warned. "I can understand you not telling me if it's too difficult now. But if you are shying away just because you want to protect me, don't."

Rising to his feet, Jack rubbed his forehead. "It's both. Both, Jake."

"Fair enough," Jacob relented. His head bowed, then lifted back up. "I am sorry."

Jack was momentarily surprised. "Selmak?"

"Yes. I must apologize for Jacob's behavior. He is dealing the best way he can. This is difficult, for both of us. Samantha was as a daughter to me. Jacob does not wish to make you uncomfortable by asking you these questions. He only worries about what his daughter must have endured. It is plaguing his mind."

"Look," Jack began hesitantly, "I wish I could tell Jacob she hadn't been in any pain. That…that they hadn't hurt her. But I can't. And I'm sorry."

"You need not be sorry. Know that Jacob truly is glad you are well and that you did all you were able to," Selmak told him.

"Did I? As Carter's CO I am responsible for her. I didn't get her home," Jack said bitterly. "I failed her, you….everybody."

"Do not be so harsh on yourself-"

"You didn't watch her die!" Jack yelled, immediately regretting his words. He rubbed the back of his neck apprehensively.

Selmak looked slightly taken aback. "No. I know neither you, nor Jacob, wish to hear this, but you often lose people you care about in the line of duty. I have lost many fellow Tok'ra in the fight against the Goa'uld."

Jack sighed, turning away. No matter what anyone said, this wasn't going to get any easier. He couldn't take any more of this conversation, not when he knew what was looming in the near future. "If Jacob really wants to know what happened there, we have a debriefing later on. He can find out what he needs to know then."

Shaking his head in frustration and grief, Jack left Sam's father standing alone in his quarters.

o-O-o

Jack watched Hammond exit the briefing room. He passed his office, disappearing out of sight. He was certain the general needed some time alone. The debriefing had not been easy to stomach, on anyone's part. They'd had to stop quite a few times. Emotions had been raw, hearts on everyone's sleeves, including Jack's. He couldn't hide all his feelings, not like his soldier side wanted to. The debriefing was like living it all over again. It made it all more real. And yet, it still hadn't hit home.

Home. It was home that had set these events in motion. He was upset, but Jack wouldn't lay all the blame on the SGC. Hammond had revealed that the morning they had left it had been the Alpha Site's regularly scheduled check in. However, the connection had been maintained longer than normal due to the transport of much needed supplies. That was why the wormhole hadn't formed when Daniel had dialed. It made Sam's death more pointless. She'd died because of a fluke, because their timing had been wrong.

Jack turned when he felt someone at his side. Glancing up, he saw Jacob. The older man's face was drawn. The meeting had been extraordinarily difficult for him.

"Yes, sir?" Jack stood to his feet, then mentally kicked himself. He wasn't accustomed to calling Sam's dad sir. But he was nervous, and he felt responsible for losing this man's daughter.

"Please, Jack. Drop the sir. I just wanted to tell you, all of you," Jacob started, looking to Daniel and Teal'c, who hadn't moved from the room either. "Thank you for being there with Sam…" He trailed off, massaging his fingers over his eyes, curtailing the tears. "And I don't hold any of you accountable." He turned, attempting to exit the room more quickly than even Hammond had.

"Jacob!" Jack called, stopping him before he could get too far. He took a few large steps to meet up with him. "Listen…she wanted me to tell you…"

"What?" Jacob asked, pain clearly evident in his manner.

"She said to tell you…she loves you. And that she's sorry." Jack hung his head slightly. "_I'm _sorry."

Instead of reprimanding him for apologizing once again, Jacob reached into his pocket. Then he dropped something cool and metallic into Jack's palm. "George gave me this. But I think…I think you should have it."

Jack looked at the silver dog tag in his hand. He had given it to Hammond earlier, knowing it would most likely end up going to Jacob. "No. I can't accept this," he told Jacob, shaking his head.

"After what I just heard at this debriefing, yes. Yes, you can." Jacob put a hand on Jack's shoulder and nodded. Then he turned and left, leaving the remaining members of SG-1. Daniel put his head back on his arms, staring blankly out the window towards the gate. Teal'c rested his clasped hands on his stomach. Even with an adequate amount of Tretonin running through his veins again, he still felt drained, weak. And Jack sat on the edge of the table, gripping Sam's tag tightly in his palm.

Jack knew all too well what Jacob was feeling. No parent should ever outlive his child. Sadly, that was something they had in common. Years before, Jacob had lost the woman he loved. That too, Jack thought regrettably, was something they now shared as well.

TBC in 'Knowing'

A/N: I will be without the Internet for several days starting tomorrow, so no update until maybe Thursday. See you then!


	30. Knowing

Ch. 29 Knowing

Jack woke in a cold sweat. He couldn't remember what he'd been dreaming about, but he was sure sleep was now out of the question. Jack rubbed his eyes and focused on his clock's digital numbers. He should be getting up anyway. He'd promised Daniel and Teal'c he'd meet them for lunch. He also needed to pay a visit to Doc Fraiser.

o-O-o

"It's beginning to look a lot better, sir," Janet commented as she bandaged up Jack's back. When she'd first taken a look at it a couple of days before, it had been a mess. His back had been bloody and filthy, an infection waiting to happen. There were some deep cuts where Jack had been lashed at that would certainly leave scars.

"Do you need any pain medication?" Janet wondered.

"No, I'm fine."

Janet studied his face. He'd shaved when he had returned home, but from the looks of it, he'd only done it that once. Jack looked years older, his boyish demeanor gone. He had dark splotches under his eyes. He was tired and worn. But mostly, he just looked…sad.

"Colonel? If there's anything you need…you or Teal'c or Daniel… Just, just let me know."

Jack nodded, flinching only slightly as he pulled his shirt back on.

"Cassie would like to see you. She's having a hard time and it would do her some good to see you're all right," Janet told him. She slipped off the latex gloves, tossing them in the trash.

"Sure. Just let me know when."

"Okay then," Janet said, attempting to smile. "You're done here." The small doctor watched Jack gather his BDU jacket and hop from the bed to the floor. She was truly worried. Janet knew Sam had been more than just a 2IC to Jack. However, from all outward appearances, he was taking this as a professional loss. She just hoped that when he was alone, he wasn't hiding from his pain there, too. And knowing Jack, he probably was.

"Thanks," Jack replied offhandedly. Upon reaching the door, he turned back towards Janet. Brown eyes met and locked. "You…ah…you doing okay?" he asked, his brow furrowing slightly.

"Not really, no," she replied honestly. "You?"

Jack averted his gaze briefly before turning it back to the doctor. With a slight shake of his head, he jammed his fists in his pockets. Then he vanished around the corner before Janet could say anything and his front crumble more. She felt a little better. At least she knew Jack O'Neill wasn't completely lying to himself.

o-O-o

"I should have known he wouldn't show," Daniel sighed. He and Teal'c sat in the commissary. Their filled plates sat in front of them, but neither had taken a bite.

"Why?" Teal'c questioned.

"Because I almost didn't show myself." Daniel looked across to where Jack was supposed to have been seated, then next to him, where Sam should have been. "Yeah, this is probably a bad idea," he muttered, noticing SG-6 sending sympathetic looks in their direction.

"I concur," Teal'c agreed. "Perhaps it would be best if we took a tray to O'Neill in his quarters and dined there. I feel most uncomfortable as well."

"Yeah," Daniel nodded. Teal'c balanced both of their trays in his arms as Daniel gathered a meal for Jack, complete with chocolate cake. He was sure to not even glance at the jello. Then they trekked through the SGC to Jack's on base quarters.

Daniel could understand Jack not meeting them. He really could. He didn't even want to be there. He'd spent a week in hell. His friend was dead. What was he doing trying to eat lunch? In a crowded commissary at that? Maybe he was doing it to try and keep the team together. Daniel honestly didn't know what was going to happen to them.

He observed Teal'c with a sideways glance. The Jaffa had also felt ill at ease in the commissary. He might be dealing with this better than his comrades, but it was by no means easy for him. The two had gone to lunch because it helped them to do mundane tasks. Not that they were trying to forget, but Sam would not want them to lock themselves away in their quarters forever.

Though that appeared to be exactly what Jack was doing.

Daniel beat his fist against the door. "Jack?" When he got no response, he banged once more. "Hey, Jack? Did you forget about lunch?"

"Perhaps he is not inside?" Teal'c suggested.

"Oh, he's in there." Daniel let out an exasperated sigh. He knocked again. "Jack, we're gonna leave a tray for you, okay? We'll be in my room," he said. Daniel set the tray of food next to the door, then took his from his friend. "Let's go," he shrugged.

Silently, they headed down the corridor to Daniel's quarters. Daniel slipped his keycard and he pushed the door open. The two settled down to eat, but both only took a few bites.

Daniel shoved his leftover spaghetti away and crossed his arms. "Teal'c?"

The dark skinned man nodded his acknowledgement.

"How…how do you deal with something like this?" Daniel waited while Teal'c considered his question.

"Each person handles these types of situations differently, Daniel Jackson."

"Teal'c, please. You're sounding like Oma Desala," Daniel groaned, slightly irritated. "It's just, I've never…lost a teammate. And…"

"And I have," Teal'c finished for him.

"Yeah," Daniel said. "When I, um, died…how…what…" Daniel didn't really know how to pose his question, but he hoped Teal'c would understand. Fortunately, he did.

"When you ascended, Daniel Jackson, there was hope that somehow we would see you again. However, it was still quite difficult. Major Carter and I were able to talk about your passing to some extent, but O'Neill invested himself in his work and would not freely discuss you with either of us," Teal'c relayed. He clasped his hands around his glass of water, but did not drink.

"That sounds about like Jack. He's so stubborn," Daniel replied. Jack O'Neill was a man who wasn't very good at expressing his feelings when it came to people he cared about. Whether it was saying he cared for someone or admitting he missed them, it was almost like pulling teeth.

"That he can be." Teal'c's voice penetrated Daniel's thoughts. "However, O'Neill is not skilled in sharing his innermost feelings. Most especially when he is hurting as he is now."

Ditto_, _Daniel thought. He slipped his glasses off and set them down. He was getting a headache. Jack had experienced losses before, one in particular he almost hadn't survived. How much more could the man take before he broke? Daniel sighed. This was going to be so hard for Jack. While all the members of SG-1 were close, the best of friends, each relationship was unique. And a certain one in particular had grown beyond the bounds of friendship.

"He loves her, you know," Daniel said. It wasn't a question, but a fact. A truth they all knew, but no one ever dared mention, even while on the planet.

Teal'c bowed his head, his voice but a whisper.

"Indeed."

TBC in 'Memories'


	31. Memories

A/N: I'm sorry I haven't been able to reply to reviews…things are crazy right now! Thanks for your continued support!

I know it's a painful time for the guys, though after a couple more chapters, things should start looking less gloomy. And soon after that, we'll shift the focus off the emotional side of things to what's going on out in the galaxy...and what happens in those chapters will help us segue into part three.

Ch. 30 Memories

"Come," Hammond called as a knock came on his office door. He pulled his laptop lid down and looked expectantly to the doorway. "Jack," he nodded as the colonel came to stand before his desk.

"Sir."

"What can I do for you, son?" Hammond inquired, his voice softer than he typically used with his men. Jack's hands were stuffed in his pockets and his face was drawn and tired.

Even while not quite looking Hammond in the eye, Jack began to speak. "When can SG-1 begin off world missions again, sir?"

Hammond's eyebrows raised in surprise. It had only been a matter of days since they had returned and only the same amount of time since they'd lost a teammate. But this wasn't entirely unexpected. Jack had done the same thing after Daniel's death.

"Colonel, are you sure about this?" Hammond pressed gently.

"Yes, sir," Jack answered shortly, rocking back on his heels. He still hadn't met the general's gaze. His brown eyes were focused somewhere above the older man's balding head.

"We haven't even had the memorial yet. You don't think it's a good idea to hold off on this?"

"No, sir."

Another succinct answer. Jack O'Neill was being stubborn. Time for a reality check, Hammond sighed reluctantly.

"All right, so you want to return to active duty? You'll need another team member. Are you prepared to replace Major Carter's position?"

It seemed harsh, but it was the reality of the situation. Jack looked down, his long lashes shadowing his eyes and hiding his pain. He never answered, but his CO continued on.

"Jack, you aren't recovered from your experience, mentally or physically. Neither is your team. How do they feel about this? Have you spoken to Teal'c? To Dr. Jackson?"

"No…" Jack mumbled, setting his jaw. This was obviously not going his way.

Hammond knew how badly Jack wanted to get back out there. To forget to feel, to ease the pain. To continue to do what he'd done for seven years. For something to be the same in his shaken up world. And though he would not mention it, Hammond knew Jack was bloodthirsty for revenge. However, it wasn't time for SG-1 to be out in the field. Not now.

"SG-1 is off active duty until you are given a clean bill of health by Dr. Fraiser, are deemed fit for duty by Dr. MacKenzie, and are given a go ahead by me," Hammond directed.

Jack looked as though he'd been slapped in the face, but he did not argue. "Yes, sir," he replied resignedly.

"You need time. We all do," Hammond told Jack gently. "No one ever wants to lose someone under their command. You tell yourself you don't get closer to some than others, but you do," Hammond nodded. "You do…"

Jack didn't reply, but Hammond could tell his words rang true with the younger man. He knew that Jack was aware that he was…aware…of certain things. They both knew. Nothing needed to be vocalized.

"I'd also like you and your team to speak at the memorial. Nothing extravagant, just a few words," he said. Then, with a gentle smile, "Take some time, Jack. Dismissed."

Hammond watched as Jack left the room. He was beginning to feel as dejected as Jack looked. He was worried for his 2IC, and rightfully so. This would not be an easy road.

The major general flipped his laptop lid back up, but only stared blankly at the screen. He wasn't going to be able to get anything done anyway.

o-O-o

Jack closed the door and stood silently in his darkened house. It had been about two weeks since he'd been home. He didn't really want to be there, but even more than that, he didn't want to be on base. He didn't want to deal with the stares, the condolences, doctors or generals. Jack didn't even want to contend with his teammates.

He hadn't eaten the food Daniel had left, and he'd slipped off base late that afternoon without telling them. It probably wasn't the best thing to do, but Jack didn't really care at the moment. Walking through the living room, he sank to his couch, the leather cool against his skin.

Jack felt stuck. He couldn't go forward and he couldn't go back. He wouldn't quit the SGC, but he couldn't get his revenge. Sam was gone, but he couldn't let go. He wanted to die, but he couldn't.

Biting his lip, Jack's thoughts wandered to the handgun he had locked away. He always kept his guns locked up now. Always. He had a history with them, one he preferred to forget and never revisit. In his most desolate moment, he had pulled one out and considered ending everything.

But Jack was past that. He had much more to live for now than all those years ago. He had the rest of his team and Cassie. Jack was accountable to more people now. Then there was the deep seated _need_ to make sure Tisiphone never got a foothold in the galaxy and never hurt anyone again like she had Sam.

Jack wasn't going to entertain the thought of suicide. Not for one second longer. Or he was afraid he might actually consider it.

While Jack wanted to rid the universe of one particular Goa'uld, even more so he wanted to rid it of a certain First Prime. Jack had never felt such an urge to kill or avenge. Mal'tek had pushed just about every button Jack had, and multiple times at that. The atrocities he had committed against his 2IC, his friend, and more than that, the woman he loved-there was no desire or room for forgiveness in his heart. Mal'tek was going to pay with his life and Jack had no qualms about going through with it. He just needed to get back out there. Jack was a man of action and just sitting around wallowing in his despair wasn't helping at all.

His stomach rumbled involuntarily and Jack grumbled in return. He didn't have an appetite, but he would have to force something down his throat soon. At least before Dr. Fraiser ordered it.

Jack slipped off the couch and into his kitchen. He opened his fridge door and the light washed over his frame. Two week old pizza, a few pieces of lunch meat, an apple, and a six pack of Guinness greeted him. Jack was about to go for the Guinness but slammed the fridge door. Getting drunk would certainly not help things, and Jack was sure he wouldn't stop at just one. It was tempting, but he didn't reopen the refrigerator.

He sank back into the cushions of his couch and closed his eyes, ignoring the persistent twinge in his stomach. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw Sam. Not the young and beautiful Air Force officer he had worked with for years, but the ill and beaten one he'd seen most recently.

At that moment, more than ever, he wished he had a photo of Sam. Then perhaps he could chase the unwelcome images from his head. Jack honestly didn't know if he had one. Either from a team night or just a random snapshot, he wasn't sure. How could they have been so close and he not have a picture of her?

So instead of having a photograph to help him remember Sam the way he wanted to, Jack tried to conjure up memories of times they'd spent together. He rewound before Olympus, to the team night just before they'd left. How he'd woken up holding her close. How it had been so natural. Her scent and her warm body leaning against his. How he'd wished more than anything she could have stayed there in his arms that night.

Then new imagery flooded his mind. The whip coming down on his back, over and over again. He remembered he was doing it for Sam. To save her, when in the end, she wouldn't be saved at all. The whip cracked again and again, until Jack woke with a start. He'd dozed off. Rubbing his eyes, he realized the whip was actually someone banging at his door.

He didn't make a move, hoping whomever it was would give up and leave. The pounding came again, soon followed by someone calling his name.

Great.

Jack heard the door creak open. He hadn't locked it, he recalled. He looked towards the door and was not at all surprised when Daniel's head popped around the corner.

"Jack. Thank God," Daniel said, relief evident in his voice. He stepped fully into the living area. He was dressed in civvies and even in the dim room Jack could see his worry. It was almost palpable.

"_What_ are you doing in my living room, Daniel?" Jack asked, frowning. The younger man just couldn't leave well enough alone. His heart was in the right place, but Jack had come home specifically to get away from this.

"You didn't tell anyone where you were going. You weren't answering your phone. I was just concerned, Jack. That's all." Daniel pushed his glasses up on his nose and crossed his arms, almost defensively.

"What? Did you think I was going to put a gun to my head?" Jack blatantly asked.

Daniel's hesitation gave Jack his answer.

"You don't have to worry, Daniel. The gun's locked away and it's staying that way."

Daniel dropped his head. "I don't mean to accuse you of anything, Jack. I was just worried…considering…"

"Considering my past? That I've contemplated suicide before?" Jack wondered as Daniel sat next to him. "I didn't kill myself when you ascended, Daniel," he reminded him, rubbing his thumb absently along the leather couch cushion.

"No, but I'm not Sam."

Jack turned to Daniel. "Just what is that supposed to mean?" he asked evenly.

He'd obviously struck a nerve, but Daniel continued. "I'm not _her_, Jack. I know how you feel about her. So does Teal'c."

Jack shrugged in return. What was he supposed to say? That he was right? God, where was that Guinness?

"Jack, please don't tell me you're soldiering on, not after what we went through," Daniel pleaded.

"For cryin' out loud, Daniel. I come home for some privacy and all you do is harass me!" Jack shot at Daniel, his voice raised.

"No, Jack. That's not it. I came here out of concern. Because I know you're not taking this well and I know you. I know you hide behind that façade of yours. Maybe you don't want to talk right now, but please, _please,_ don't shut everyone out. We need you. And even though you think you can handle this alone, you need us just as much," Daniel told him earnestly.

Jack didn't say anything. He didn't know how to deal with this. Daniel was probably right, but he couldn't just confess everything to him. He couldn't even come clean with himself.

"Do you miss her, Jack?" Daniel pressed lightly. "Can you even admit to that?"

"Of course I do," Jack said, on the verge of yelling. "I miss her. You happy?"

"Jack, that's not how I meant it-"

"Well, just how did you mean it? Regardless of my feelings," Jack made air quotes with his fingers, "she's dead because of me. It's my fault. I carry that guilt, not you, not Teal'c. If she hadn't saved me, she'd be alive."

"We don't know that. Anything could have happened on that planet. And you know, anything _could_ happen. We don't know if-"

"Just because you always come back doesn't mean Carter will!"

Silence fell over the room. Jack stood to his feet, shaking his head. Sam was gone. As in never coming back. Ever. With one fell swoop, his hand knocked everything from his fireplace mantle. He rested his head against the wooden mantle, taking a deep breath and attempting to reign in his emotions.

He didn't know what to feel or what to do. More memories of his time with Sam on the planet spilled though his consciousness, only adding to his torment. That was when his eye caught a photo that had fluttered to the floor. His heart constricted.

It must have been stuck behind a frame or laying flat on the mantle. He didn't remember putting it there, but there it was. A snapshot of he, Sam, and Teal'c, more than likely taken by Daniel. It was early on in their friendship. Jack could tell by the hair. He wasn't quite gray and Sam hadn't had that style in years. And she was smiling her dazzling smile, her beautiful face so full of expression.

Jack closed his eyes, fighting back the anger and hurt. He was struggling against the pleasant memories as they mingled with the not so pleasant ones. Confusion and pain threatened to overwhelm him. Jack flinched as he felt Daniel's comforting hand on his shoulder. He tried to shrug it off, but it remained, steadfast.

"Jack…"

"Don't…" he almost begged. No more.

"I'm sorry," Daniel whispered. And he was. Sorry for this whole mess, sorry for all of them. Sometimes you won and sometimes you lost, and they'd just lost big time.

He wrapped his arm around Jack, taken aback when he felt a shudder go through the older man's body. Swallowing hard, Daniel tried to pull him around and he could feel Jack's resistance.

"Jack?" Daniel questioned, his voice breaking ever so slightly. His own emotions were bubbling up against his will, but that was why he was there. So that neither of them would have to pretend.

For just a moment, Jack's walls were stripped away, unable to conceal his fears and anguish any longer. And in that instant of frailty, Daniel pulled Jack's shaking form into an embrace. Jack needed to know it was okay to feel, to release his grief, to miss her. Daniel needed him to know it really was all right to cry.

He was crying, too.

TBC in 'Remembrance'


	32. Remembrance

A/N: I've been asked if I could post two chapters a day, at least during this middle part. Well, I'm okay with that, however… I have just moved and a new school year starts tomorrow, so I am extremely busy. And while the story is complete, I still have to proof/tweak it. I may be lucky to get one chapter a day! So…if I can, I will. If I can't, I won't. We'll just see how crazy life is!

Ch. 31 Remembrance

Jack straightened the jacket of his uniform and closed his locker door.

"Are you ready, O'Neill?" Teal'c's deep voice rumbled softly.

They had been home for a week now, and though Jack knew it had to happen, he wasn't prepared for Sam's memorial at all. Then again, he never would be.

It still hurt, and it would for a long time. Jack was still struggling to deal with his loss, but after Daniel had come to his home a few nights before, he'd found it just a little bit easier to handle. He hadn't broken down again, destroyed anything else, or contemplated ending his life again…but the pain was still very real.

Jack's anger had faded somewhat into weariness. He was tired and depressed, and if he was truthful, lonely. Daniel and Teal'c were there, but there was an emptiness they couldn't fill. But they _were_ there, and that's what mattered.

"Are you ready?" Teal'c repeated gently. He noticed his commanding officer's distant look.

"Yeah…yeah, I'm ready," Jack replied as his reverie was broken.

The duo walked solemnly to the gate room, meeting up with Daniel as they entered. While Jack was in uniform, Daniel and Teal'c wore dark suits. Daniel tugged at his tie nervously. Jack felt more than nervous, he felt sick. It took a lot of self-control to not bolt from the room. From appearances, Daniel and Teal'c could relate. He turned and looked around, taking in the scene.

A podium was placed in the center of the ramp, the American flag and SGC flag on either side and the Air Force flag to the rear. The gate stood looming in the background, the blue event horizon glittering. It would be utilized at the end of the ceremony. A lone wreath sat adorned with red, white, and blue flowers, while men and women in uniform and nice dress crammed the area.

Teal'c spotted Jacob across the room and bowed as the Tok'ra came towards them.

"Jacob," Jack greeted, shaking his hand. He noticed Sam's father had opted to wear his own service dress to the memorial. Stars glinted on his shoulders.

"Jack, Daniel, Teal'c," he replied, in such a manner that they knew while Jacob was there in body, his mind was elsewhere.

They stood silently in a circle, a group with a common thread. They were soon joined by Janet and Cassandra. It looked as though Cassie had been crying and would start again at any moment. The teenage girl kissed each one of them and hugged them longer than she normally would have. Then she turned away into her mother's arms.

"Hi," Janet said, smiling sadly, running her fingers comfortingly through her daughter's hair. Her gaze traveled over the room. It looked as though things were about to get started. "Let's find our places," she said softly.

Jacob stood closest to the ramp, followed by Jack, Daniel, and Teal'c, then Janet and Cassie. As Hammond found his place at the podium, Jack stared at the far wall so hard that his vision became blurry. This didn't seem real.

Hammond's words of praise and respect for Sam reached Jack's ears, but he didn't hear them, not with the cacophony rampaging in his head. He almost missed the general's signal to him that it was his turn to speak.

Numbly, Jack walked up the ramp and stood in front of his fellow servicemen and friends. He said all of the things a good commanding officer should say. Samantha Carter had been an excellent second in command. He could have never asked for one better at her job, more intelligent or competent. She would be sorely missed as was proud to have served with her. Yes, he said all the things a CO should, but nothing a friend ought to.

Daniel and Teal'c said all of those things. They could. And it only drove the pain deeper, knowing he'd never known Sam in the same way they had. Sure, they'd been close friends, even best friends, but there had always been something preventing them from being totally relaxed with each other. Their feelings, their ranks, and all the other issues they'd had. He'd never gotten to know Sam the way he'd wanted to. He'd waited for his chance and now it would never come. That was one of the biggest regrets he had.

The ceremony moved quickly and after the main portion was over, an American flag was meticulously and reverently folded into a triangle.

Hammond handed the flag to Jacob. "On behalf of the President of the United States, the Department of the Air Force, and a grateful nation, we offer this flag for the faithful and dedicated service of Major Samantha Carter."

Jacob took the folded banner with a tight smile, thanking Hammond quietly.

Then the bugler came forward, and slowly lifting the instrument to his lips, began to play.

Over the years Jack had heard the tune more times than he cared to remember. The words to the song drifted through his consciousness as his steely eyes looked on.

_Fading light dims the sight_  
_And a star gems the sky, gleaming bright_  
_From afar drawing nigh_  
_Falls the night._

The haunting melody continued to play, echoing off the walls of the gate room. Hammond nodded to Jack, who stepped forward. The two highest ranking officers at the SGC lifted the wreath carefully from its stand and moved towards the active Stargate as one.

_Day is done, gone the sun_  
_From the lake, from the hills, from the sky_  
_All is well, safely rest_  
_God is nigh._

The wormhole was connected to P3X-149. The address to Tisiphone's planet was unknown, but the location Sam's last mission had started on would do. Hammond and Jack reached the gate and held the flowered wreath to the rippling boundary. Memories of Sam assaulted Jack. How she'd been fascinated with the event horizon on her first trip. How she'd loved what she did, exploring the universe.

When Jack felt the familiar tug, he and Hammond let go. The wreath disappeared into the wormhole, the horizon enveloping it. As the last strands of Taps played, Jack saluted Sam one final time.

_Then goodnight, peaceful night_  
_Till the light of the dawn shineth bright_  
_God is near, do not fear_  
_Friend, goodnight._

TBC in 'Of One Accord'


	33. Of One Accord

Ch. 32 Of One Accord

Cassandra Fraiser made a sour face as she threw the rotten lunchmeat away. Letting out a sigh, she shut the fridge door. She hated rummaging through Sam's house. However, it had been a task bestowed upon them. Even though Jacob had decided to hold on to Sam's place as a home away from home, it still needed to be gone through and cleaned.

Leaning against the counter, Cassie closed her eyes. She could hear Teal'c's bass voice speaking to Daniel as they looked through Sam's study. Faintly, she could hear Jacob in the bedroom. And within her eyesight, she could see Jack.

He'd cleaned the living room. It hadn't been much of a task, as Sam's house was barely lived in. Jack had not touched the photos or personal items scattered about the room. Jacob wanted them to be left there. In fact, he had insisted.

Cassie watched Jack. He stared momentarily at a picture of Sam, her mother, and father. Then he took a few steps and looked at the books that lined Sam's mantle. His fingers grazed across the spines. Jack's eyes settled on the clock, then turning around, he caught Cassie studying him. The young woman smiled timidly.

"How long have you been doing that?" he inquired, finding a seat on the couch.

Cassie made her way from the kitchen to sit next to him. She didn't answer his question. Instead, she posed a new one. "You're not leaving…quitting…whatever…are you?"

Jack's brow creased. "Cassie…" The anxious look on her face gave him pause. Cassandra had just lost a woman who meant a great deal to her. She didn't need anything else to deal with. He shook his head. "No," he replied confidently. "I'm not going anywhere."

She nodded in return, leaning in to hug him. "I miss her," she whispered. It hurt Cassie so badly that she hadn't seen Sam much the last few months. School was busy; she was preparing for college. She'd learned not to take any of her loved ones for granted, especially after the recent reminder with Daniel. But somehow, her relationship with Sam had been pushed to the side by other things. Cassie noticed Jack hadn't said anything.

"You don't like to talk about her," she stated as she burrowed deeper into his embrace. Cassie knew he missed Sam, but he wouldn't even mention her. Actually, he'd always been cautious when it came to conversation about Sam. Now she was gone, but Jack was still being hardheaded. Maybe it was just how she'd been taught growing up, but Cassie found it disrespectful to Sam's memory. She felt Jack sigh.

"It's complicated," he finally replied, his voice guarded.

"No, it isn't. You only make it that way because you're scared. You're scared of feeling something for someone you're not supposed to," Cassie told him.

Jack shook his head. He knew she liked the idea of he and Sam together, but Cassie had never really understood why it couldn't be or his reservations when it came to discussing that aspect of his life. Sometimes he didn't get it either. He had to nip this conversation in the bud, though. "Like I said, it's com-"

"That's the reason you always give me. Can't you drop that lame excuse?" Cassie choked out, her emotions welling up. Just about anything could set her off lately. "You might not want to talk about Sam, but I _need_ to."

"Cass, I can't-"

"And just because you might have cared more than you were supposed to, that doesn't mean you can't miss her, too. You act like it's a crime to even mention her name. She's gone! The regs don't apply anymore!" The teen pulled away from Jack angrily, tears falling.

Jack stared back at her in shock. "Cassie," he warned. "It's not as simple as that." Out of the corner of his eye, he could see that Cassie's outburst had garnered the attention of Daniel and Teal'c. He could only hope Jacob wouldn't hear.

"Don't try telling me you weren't good enough for her. I grew up with you two; I've seen you together. I'm not stupid Jack, and neither are you."

Jack honestly didn't know how to respond. He placed his hand gently on Cassie's heaving shoulder. What could he say?

"I'm sorry, Cassie," Jack told her. "I'm just…" Jack closed his eyes in frustration. He felt cornered. He wanted to assure this girl that he did miss Sam, that he was hurting, too. But at the same time, he couldn't explain his feelings to her or to anyone. Opening his eyes, Jack looked into Cassie's teary ones.

"I miss her, I do." Jack sighed. He noticed his audience had retreated back to the study, thankfully. Even still, he leaned closer so only Cassie could hear. "Sam was…is…very special to me…I don't have to tell you that. But Cass, you've gotta understand, there are just some things that…"

"That what?" Cassandra asked tearfully.

Jack bit his lip before continuing. "I'm sorry I don't talk about her…sorry I didn't. It just…"

"Hurts?" Cassie supplied, wrapping her arms around him. "I know, but it helps, too. I just wish you wouldn't hold it all in. It's like you don't even care she gone, but I know you do. It makes me so angry at you."

"Yeah, I can see that," Jack nodded. Cassie _was_ pretty ticked off at him. To be honest, he wasn't that thrilled with her at the moment. This was the last thing he wanted to talk about, because it hurt so badly. They'd just have to agree to disagree on this talking thing. At least for now.

Cassie let out a shaky breath as she hugged him. "I'm so glad you're okay," she whispered. "I don't care how frustrated you make me, I love you, Jack."

Cassandra squeezed him so hard that Jack's still healing back twinged. Well, he considered as he hugged her in return, it was a sentiment they shared. "I love you, too, Cass."

o-O-o

"Wow, that's, uh, some pretty intense conversation going on in there," Daniel commented as they busied themselves in Sam's study once again.

"Indeed," Teal'c concurred.

"I know Cassie's taking this hard, but I can't believe s-"

"She is voicing some of our own concerns, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c said, taping up a box.

The young woman did not share the same inhibitions the two men did when it came to talking about Sam and Jack. They shared different perspectives on the situation, and Cassie saw the relationship in a simpler and more straightforward light. That was all well and good, unless you were dealing with Jack.

"I know, I know." Daniel looked around the study, a shadow crossing his face as he took in the familiar room. "I still can't believe Sam's…" He sighed, not even attempting to finish his thought.

"It continues to plague me greatly as well," Teal'c confessed. His usually unflappable demeanor was shed and Daniel could see the still fresh pain in his friend's eyes.

"What do you think is going to happen to us? I mean, SG-1?" Daniel looked in the direction of the living room and Jack. They had so many issues to still work through, especially their leader. Daniel was certain it would never be the same.

"I believe we will continue to fight until the Goa'uld are no longer a threat. O'Neill will not rest until that day. Neither will I."

Daniel nodded his head in agreement.

Neither would he.

o-O-o-O-o

"But I do not wish to speak with him."

"No one does, Teal'c," Jack grumbled. He fiddled with a rock on Daniel's desk.

"I really don't like that guy," Daniel moaned, resting his chin on his hands.

The three men had just been chided gently by Hammond. He'd reminded them that until MacKenzie cleared them, they would not be able to return to active duty. He'd also pointed out that if they continued to not cooperate with the good doctor, they would never get cleared.

So they'd had a few bad sessions with MacKenzie. They'd not been forthcoming about their time on the planet or their feelings about Sam. What did the doctor really expect from them? For the trio to bare their souls? Pour out their hearts? This pain was something they kept close. It was something not meant to be shared beyond the remaining members of SG-1.

"I mean, what am I supposed to tell him? How does he _think_ this makes me feel? What kind of question is that to ask anyway?" Daniel wondered, perturbed.

"I am highly uncomfortable discussing such personal matters with a mere acquaintance," Teal'c told them quietly. He wasn't a man of many words at any time, especially not during a time like this.

"I think I'll beat the crap outta him if he asks me one more question," Jack said darkly.

Daniel took one look at Jack and he knew he was not kidding. These days he wasn't quite sure what to expect from Jack, but somehow the older man beating up the resident psychiatrist didn't seem too farfetched.

"Well," Daniel sighed, "Hammond's right. If we don't get cleared by MacKenzie, we're going to be stuck at a standstill. I mean, if we want to get out there and try to…" Daniel closed his mouth and pursed his lips.

If they were to try to avenge Sam's death.

Here he was, wanting revenge, just as he knew Jack did, and probably Teal'c. Daniel was usually the one to turn the other cheek, to want to work things out another way. But maybe his experiences, his ascension, the things that had happened on Olympus, maybe they'd changed him more than he knew. He continued.

"As much as you might not want to, just…just tell him what he wants to hear." Jack and Teal'c looked to Daniel, somewhat startled by his words. "We'll have to play his game. My own reservations and…issues…are not going to let them get away with what they did to Sam," he told them resolutely.

Teal'c nodded. "It is imperative we continue our off world missions. It is our responsibility to assure no Goa'uld harms another ever again." He bowed his head, contemplating. He would do his duty and be reinstated. "I will speak to Dr. MacKenzie."

"I will too, as much as I hate it," Daniel said. He rubbed the back of his neck. "I am not looking forward to his," he mumbled. He and Teal'c waited for Jack to respond. They knew out of all of them, this would be hardest for him.

Jack frowned, setting the rock down and stilling his restless hands. He really, _really, _didn't want to talk to MacKenzie. He detested the idea with a passion. It also scared him as much as it angered him, having to relive those experiences. But looking at the faces of his friends, and knowing the truth of their words, Jack knew he had to consent. Finally, he nodded slowly. Teal'c and Daniel nodded back.

They knew they weren't doing this for their wellbeing. Talking to the man wouldn't help ease their pain.

They were doing this for each other.

They were doing this for Sam.

TBC in 'Back in Business'


	34. Back In Business

A/N: After this, the remaining chapters in this section will be posted in pairs. Also, in some chapters certain episodes will be touched upon, and things may or may not play out the same as in the series.

Ch. 33 Back in Business

Hammond sat at the briefing room table. However, he wasn't alone. Doctors MacKenzie and Fraiser were with him. They were about to reach a verdict concerning SG-1.

"Well?" the balding general asked the medical doctor. Janet cleared her throat and spoke.

"Physically, I give them the go ahead. They've all cleared the medical exam. I've made sure they've been eating regularly, and besides a few problems sleeping, they are healthy and fit and ready for offworld duty again." Janet nodded briskly and turned towards the psychiatrist.

"I see no reason why they should not be able to return to work. They've been more cooperative in their sessions. And while I believe the healing process is only just beginning, I think they are in a stable state of mind and ready to join the mission rotation again. In fact, it might even be beneficial to them," MacKenzie informed them.

Hammond took in this information. He'd thought it a little contrived when SG-1 began faithfully seeing the base's psychiatrist without a struggle. He wouldn't dwell on it though. If both doctors deemed them fit for duty, then so did he.

It had almost been a month since SG-1 had come home. A month since they'd lost their friend. Hammond still felt the loss strongly. There wasn't a day that went by when he wasn't reminded of Sam Carter. Whether the gate was malfunctioning and she wasn't there to fix it, or on a trip to the commissary he'd see the blue jello sitting desolately in the desert case.

"Very well," Hammond said. "I'll let Colonel O'Neill, Dr. Jackson, and Teal'c know they're cleared."

"I'm sure they'll be glad to hear that, sir," Janet replied, closing her folder. The doctor had done her most recent physical examination of the men that morning. Teal'c was as fit as ever. She was sure he was taking out his frustrations in the gym. At any rate, the Tretonin was keeping him healthy.

Daniel was the same old Daniel, but not quite. He didn't smile as much anymore, and that saddened Janet. He and Teal'c hadn't had it too bad while they were imprisoned. From what she understood, Sam had received most of the maltreatment. Janet still got knots in her stomach when she thought about it.

And the colonel. His back had healed well enough. There were scars left, reminders of the past. He wasn't the same either. He didn't tease her anymore when he came by or be a royal pain of a patient. He went through the motions and that was it.

"Dr. Fraiser?"

Hammond's gentle drawl broke through the woman's thoughts. She noticed MacKenzie had left and only she and her superior remained. "Sorry, sir," she apologized.

"It's all right. I'm going to go let SG-1 know," he told her. Daniel had been working in his office while waiting to be reinstated. Teal'c still lived on base. Jack…he'd been in and out. Though if he hadn't made an appearance in a day or so, Hammond knew his friends would check in on him.

Maybe now they could work on getting things back to normal. Maybe now SG-1 could focus on something else, or at least have something else to do. Perhaps they could even get the revenge he was certain they desired. Hammond would never vocally sanction it, but if it so happened the opportunity came up, he knew what the three men would do. He wouldn't stop them.

SG-1 didn't need to be moping around the SGC. They needed to be out and about in the galaxy, saving the world. It was what they did.

o-O-o-O-o

The first chance for saving the world came not long after the team had received word they were back in business.

A bruised and battered Bra'tac had arrived through the gate, telling of a warrior far superior than any he had ever seen. And in trying to get to the bottom of this mystery, Jack had almost lost another team member. While he'd failed to save Sam, Jack had made it just in time to help Daniel. They were home now, and Jack was presently watching the injured man sleep.

To say he wasn't happy was an understatement. Jack knew that what had happened in South America hadn't been the archaeologist's fault. He'd just been in the wrong place at the wrong time. Jack wasn't necessarily mad at Daniel, but at the situation. It had just been so close. Too close. If Daniel hadn't made it…

Jack crossed him arms and shifted in his chair. He took a deep breath, trying to calm his still rattled nerves. He'd run through the jungle, weapon in hand, heart racing. He'd killed with no reservations to save Daniel. No one else he cared about was going to die. Jack couldn't take that.

Daniel stirred and groaned. Opening his eyes, he tried to focus on Jack. The gray of his hair focused first. It seemed he was even grayer than before.

"What're you doing here?" Daniel asked as he grasped the cup from his bedside and took a sip.

"Just checking in," Jack replied nonchalantly.

"Yeah," Daniel said, sitting up as best he could. "I'm fine," he reassured him. Daniel was certain this latest event had shaken Jack up. It had scared him as well. So much had happened recently. Their emotions, their work…everything threatened to crumble around them all over again.

"I'm sorry," Daniel apologized meekly.

"No, don't apologize," Jack admonished. "I mean, it wasn't your fault. Just…be careful."

"Easier said than done," he answered. The two men's eyes met. Daniel was the first to look away. "After Sam…" he started slowly. "Well, I know how I'd feel if I were you right now. I really _am_ sorry. But we're never going to be safe out there. And now we've got these new 'super soldiers' to deal with. Sometimes I wonder if it's better to just pack it all in, not deal with it all."

"But we can't," Jack said frankly.

"No," Daniel agreed. "Especially not now." He could see Jack nod slightly in accord.

"So…just be careful."

A small smile crept across Daniel's lips. So maybe Jack was going to be all right.

"Will do."

TBC in 'Replacing the Irreplaceable'


	35. Replacing the Irreplaceable

Ch. 34 Replacing the Irreplaceable

Jack wandered into the control room just as the gate disengaged. "Sir?" he questioned, coming to stand by his superior's side.

"That was our scheduled contact with P3X-744. The Prometheus is heading home," Hammond informed Jack. There was relief in his voice. He'd been eager to get the ship home since it was stranded on Tagrea. Something as expensive and state of the art as Prometheus was something you didn't leave on another planet without getting a little antsy.

"'Bout time," Jack responded.

Hammond nodded in return. "Colonel, it's also about time you recruited another team member." The general started towards the stairs, indicating he wanted Jack to come along.

"Well, sir," Jack stuttered slightly as they entered Hammond's office. "I've been considering a few people." It was a lame excuse. He hadn't been considering anyone else. He didn't want anyone else.

"Have you ever thought about asking Lieutenant Hailey to join SG-1?"

"As in…Jennifer Hailey?" Jack asked, surprised. The mini trooper?

"Yes," Hammond replied succinctly.

Jack had only gone through the files his commander had given him once. He hadn't actively looked for a replacement for Sam. When he'd looked through the personnel files, he had briefly considered Hailey as a candidate. However, he'd soon dismissed her along with everyone else. Sure, she was perfect for the job. But if anything, she reminded Jack of someone he missed very much.

"Well, perhaps, sir. But-"

"Jack," Hammond said gently, folding his hands on his desk.

Jack withheld a sigh at the use of his first name.

"I know this is difficult. But if you don't make a decision soon, one might have to be made for you." Hammond's voice was firm, though sympathetic. "I assume this is a choice you want to make, but you might want to consider my recommendation. Unless you had someone else in mind?"

"No, sir, I don't," Jack admitted, grudgingly.

"Well, think about it. She's on Prometheus' return trip. It will take them a little longer than normal to get back. They can only make short jumps with the hyperdrive they are temporarily using."

Jack sent his boss a tight smile. "I'll consider her, sir."

"Very well. Remember, Colonel, it's just a suggestion. You still have the other personnel files I gave you."

"Yes, sir," Jack replied with a nod.

"Dismissed."

Jack left the office with a heavy feeling in his chest. He wished SG-1 could stay a three man team, but Hammond was right. They needed someone like Hailey. A clever scientist. A warrior. A perfect mix of both worlds. Hailey was the best option.

Sam had taken the prodigy under her wing and guided Jennifer Hailey into a meaningful Air Force career. Being assigned to SG-1, that would be the young lieutenant's crowning moment. You couldn't get much better than that. And Jack knew that if Sam were there, she'd propose Hailey to take her place as well.

But no matter the best option would cause him pain, she was the top choice. For the sake of the team, she would be chosen. No matter that Jennifer Hailey would conjure up memories of Sam, day in and day out. Jack would have to live with it. There were certainly differences in the two, but he'd been around Hailey enough to see the similarities.

They'd used to make him smile.

o-O-o

"So?"

Lieutenant Jennifer Hailey stared in disbelief at Jack. "SG-1? Me?" she gaped.

"That's what I said," Jack replied, shoving his hands into his pockets and waiting for the young woman's reply.

"But…I'm sure there's someone else more qualified. I'm just a lieutenant, sir," Jennifer stammered, her mind reeling.

"A very qualified lieutenant. Do you want the job or not?" Jack asked, slightly irritated. This wasn't exactly his idea of a good time, and she was just dragging it out.

"Yes, sir!" she accepted quickly. "Thank you, sir!"

"All right then. Welcome to the team, Lieutenant." Jack gave her a somewhat curt nod before turning to leave.

Jennifer swallowed hard as she watched her new commanding officer disappear around the corner.

She was on SG-1. She was taking Samantha Carter's place. Those were shoes she'd never be able to fill, or could. Not in a million years. She swallowed again.

What had she gotten herself into?

TBC in 'Never Again'


	36. Never Again

Ch. 35 Never Again

Jack poked at his dinner. The pork just didn't look that appetizing. It sucked. It royally sucked. Not just the pork, but just about everything else, too. So the mission had gone well. Jonas' homeworld wasn't going to explode after all. But just when they thought they were beginning to cope, someone would come along and they'd have to dredge up what happened with Sam.

Jonas hadn't known when he'd asked where Sam was that the simple question was so painful to answer. The young Kelownan had been deeply saddened, but no one could brood for long, not when his world was in jeopardy. Afterwards, however, Jonas had almost demanded to be allowed to pay his respects.

The four men had driven out to a small cemetery on the edge of Colorado Springs. Jacob had picked it out. Even though there was no body, he wanted a place where those who needed to mourn or reflect could do so. And in some small way, it might help them find closure. There was no fancy burial in Arlington, no burial next to her mother. A plot had been chosen close to home, family, and friends.

It had been a beautiful summer day. Jack had slipped on his sunglasses and watched as Jonas trekked the rest of the way to Sam's grave alone. Daniel and Teal'c had stood back as well. Jonas had carefully placed a bouquet of fresh flowers on the crisp, green grass that surrounded the granite tombstone. They'd all watched as he read it and tried not to listen as he softly spoke to it, to Sam.

After, they'd gone to Jonas' favorite coffee shop from when he'd been on Earth. Though it was warm out, Jonas downed a steaming cup of the dark liquid quickly. And then another. And another. Jack supposed it was better than him getting drunk.

All this had taken place a few hours before. Jonas had gone back through the gate, Daniel had gone home, Teal'c was around the base, and Jack was staring at his dinner. It took him a moment to realize someone had sat down across from him.

"General?" Jack questioned, sitting up a little straighter.

"At ease, Jack."

"Yes, sir," Jack said slowly, noticing the older man's use of his first name. "What's going on?" he asked rather bluntly.

Hammond took this in stride. "In the two months or so you've been back, we haven't heard anything from this Goa'uld, Tisiphone."

Jack grimaced at the name. "And?"

"Well, we hadn't, up until a few hours ago. SG-6 came through this afternoon. They'd had a run in with some of her Jaffa."

"Oh?"

Hammond nodded. "Apparently she's gaining more ground in her attempt to become more than just a scorned Goa'uld. Among her ranks were reportedly Jaffa from Kali and Bastet's forces. Now those two were not much of a threat to us, but if they've fallen to Tisiphone, that _is_ a threat."

Jack raised an eyebrow. Two more System Lords' armies assimilated into Tisiphone's defenses. He still wanted to extinguish the diminutive Goa'uld from existence, but this was also just another way to keep the pain fresh. Though, if Tisiphone was gaining a foothold in the galaxy, she needed to be stopped. Hammond's next words only confirmed Jack's thoughts.

"Only Dr. Thomas made it back. He was able to give us this information before he went into surgery. He was badly injured." The balding man glanced down at the commissary table. "I don't have to tell you what it's like to lose a team member."

"No, sir," Jack responded quietly.

"I…" Hammond paused, pressing his lips together. "I just want you to be prepared for the possibility of dealing with this Goa'uld again."

Jack nodded, understanding. This wasn't just another System Lord. Not to him or to his team. This was different. More personal.

When the time came for him to come face to face with Tisiphone, and especially her First Prime, he'd be sure to guarantee no one would ever suffer at their hands again.

o-O-o-O-o

Jack stared up into the heavens. P2X-523's velvety night sky was filled with thousands of brilliant stars. This night was like so many other nights off world, but these peaceful evenings didn't give Jack the pleasure they once did.

The fire had died down and Jennifer had just taken over Jack's watch. She was a nice addition to the team, but her presence never completely sat right with the colonel. He shifted his gaze from the starry sky to the young lieutenant. She sat silently, P-90 in hand, occasionally tilting her head to the sky, then sweeping her eyes across the immediate area, looking and listening for threats.

Jack turned his head away as she looked in his direction. He sighed inwardly. He used to watch Sam on nights like this. Sometimes he'd turn away before she caught him gazing; other times he purposefully let her catch him. They'd share a smile or a few words. They were fleeting moments, but ones he'd never forget. He wasn't over what had happened and he wasn't over Sam. Every day was still a struggle, but he did his job, he lived his life. Still, he missed her so badly.

It was no surprise he'd miss a person he'd worked with so closely for so many years. It was natural. Hours upon hours spent with each other. Days upon days off world together. Years watching each other's backs and even facing death together. Jack's heart dropped at the thought. So many times death had been knocking, but they'd averted it. Not this last time though.

Over their time working together, Jack had become dependent on Sam in so many ways. He didn't just need her to come up with a brilliant plan, or to save the galaxy. He was reliant on her for more than her excellent 2IC skills. He needed her smile, her laugh, her company. Simply put, he needed _her_. Sam had become such a large part of his being that Jack didn't just miss Sam, he longed for her.

Jack tried to let the low chirping of some cricket-like creature lull him to sleep. Sleep was always difficult these days. In the back of his mind, Jack figured it was foolish that he was unable to let go of something he'd never really had. He and Sam had been friends, colleagues, but nothing more. They couldn't be, for so many reasons. But he'd continued to care for her, and even now he didn't stop. He could never stop.

The cricket's melody was doing its job. Jack felt his eyelids growing heavier. He knew he could rest. It was a quiet, uninhabited planet. Peaceful. But perhaps one day, on one of these planets, he'd meet Sam's tormenters again. Then peace would be the last thing on his mind.

TBC in 'Loss'


	37. Loss

A/N: Here's another pair of chapters. I know you're curious as to what's happening with Sam...and with me posting two chapters at a time and it (thankfully!) being the weekend, you may find out sooner than you think!

Ch. 36 Loss

"What happened?" Daniel asked as he, Teal'c, and Jack came to stand by Hammond in the control room. The klaxons were blaring and the gate was dialing.

"The Alpha Site's been attacked by the Goa'uld," the general replied shortly, obviously troubled. He crossed his arms across his chest as another chevron locked.

"Lieutenant Hailey was there working with Jacob Carter, was she not?" Teal'c questioned.

"Yeah, on that anti super solider…thing…" Jack trailed off, shrugging. The young lieutenant had been requested to work on the device, giving SG-1 some downtime. "What's the current situation?"

"We're still getting reports, but upwards of ninety people are still missing. Among these are Lieutenant Hailey and Jacob, as well as the base commander, Colonel Riley," Hammond answered.

"The Alpha Site's supposed to be a secret. I mean, we took the gate there ourselves. How could they know the address? Who could have told them?" Daniel pondered.

"More importantly, who is they?" Jack cut in.

"I intend to find that out, Colonel," Hammond replied as the wormhole connected. He gave Walter the order to send the MALP through and the men impatiently waited to catch a glimpse of what was happening on the other end.

"Receiving video," Harriman announced. "Ah…sir? It's telling me the MALP is on its side."

Daniel studied the screen. "If the gate was knocked over, when we dialed in a cavity would have been hollowed out by the event horizon. The MALP must have fallen into the hole that was formed."

"If this is true, we can't tell if the DHD survived. I can't send anybody through unless-"

"We can use an alternate power source," Jack suggested, interrupting his commander. "We've done it before, we can do it again."

Hammond frowned. "We have no way of knowing if the enemy is still there. You could be under attack."

"We've got the perfect foxhole," Jack assured him, motioning towards the MALP's video image.

The general looked at him doubtfully. He didn't want to send any of his men into unnecessary danger. He'd already lost too many. But he could see Jack's point. He also knew this team couldn't sit idly by while people needed help, especially while one of their own was in trouble.

"We'll be fine," Jack said, a certain urgency in his voice.

"Very well," Hammond consented. "You have a go."

o-O-o

Jack squinted his eyes as they made their way through the smoky remains of the Alpha Site. So far, the planet had been eerily quiet. No sign of the enemy or survivors, just devastation on a massive level. After they'd dialed back in and given the all clear, SG-3 had come through to look for anyone who'd survived, and SGs 11 and 21 had arrived to help set the gate back up.

The destruction around him and the worry over his friends and colleagues had left Jack's stomach in knots. It almost looked as though no one could have survived the self-destruct that had gone off. Debris was everywhere.

"Whoa!" Daniel cried out, coming to an abrupt stop. Jack stepped over a fallen tree and jogged to his teammate's side, curious as to what had stunned him.

He glanced down to gaze upon the still form of a Jaffa. Jack was only certain because of the distinguishable armor the man wore. One side of his face was charred, features almost burned beyond recognition. His forehead, however, still revealed the master to whom he'd been loyal.

"Crap," Jack muttered, turning away. "Crap, crap, crap."

Daniel stared at the large man he'd almost tripped over. The symbol etched on his skin was one he would never forget.

"Tisiphone," Teal'c said quietly as he surveyed the body. Though the mark was that of Morpheus, it was his queen who now controlled his armies.

"But how? How could she…how could she know this location?" Daniel stuttered, looking to Jack. The Alpha Site had moved after Anubis had used his mind probe on Jonas. The site was a completely unknown planet to the Goa'uld and had been in place for several months now. There was no way Tisiphone could have known about it unless someone had leaked her the information. The only people who knew the address were a select group of Tok'ra and free Jaffa, as well as SGC personnel. He knew it certainly hadn't been one of them.

"Let us continue to search for survivors," Teal'c suggested. The dead Jaffa had already given them all the information they needed to know.

Jack nodded in agreement, hand moving to his radio. "Reynolds?"

"Sir?" came the reply, laced with static.

"Some of Tisiphone's goons might be on the planet. Use caution."

"Yes, sir. Will do."

"All right, let's keep looking," Jack ordered, heeding Teal'c's advice. He turned away from the dead man and looked east. "This way," he motioned. Daniel and Teal'c fell in step behind him.

They hadn't walked far when they came across another form, motionless on the ground. This time though, it was a familiar face.

"Jacob!" Jack shouted, bending to his knee. "Jake?" he breathed anxiously.

The Tok'ra slowly opened his eyes. Disbelief registered slightly on his face, as though the trio in front of him was a mirage. "Jack?" he slurred.

"Yeah. You okay?"

"I will be." Jacob motioned weakly to his side. Jack took a second look and noticed a wound, apparently from a staff weapon. "Selmak's working on it," Jacob assured them.

"Yes, well, let's let Fraiser work on it as soon as we get the gate functional," Jack told him. He'd already requested to be informed when the Stargate was back up and the medical teams were able to come through. He hoped it would be soon. "Can you walk?"

"Maybe." Jacob reached out and Teal'c grabbed his hand to assist. But as he tried to pull himself to his feet, pain ripped through Jacob's side. "Ah, maybe not," he moaned, settling back down on the ground. "I'll just wait for the med team," he yielded.

Daniel rummaged through his pack, finding some medical supplies to aid Jacob while he waited. "What happened?" He finally asked the question that had been on all their minds.

"We were working on the prototype and the base came under attack. Before we knew it, there were Jaffa everywhere." He inhaled sharply as Daniel worked to clean his wound. "We had to download the weapon design and wipe the computer. We couldn't let the Goa'uld get the info." Jacob sighed. "It was complete chaos and we couldn't make it to the gate. Jennifer and I got separated; she had the upgraded prototype. Then the self-destruct went off..."

"And you don't know where she is," Daniel finished.

"No. She's got the only weapon that can possibly stop Anubis' drones. I've still got the semi-effective version, but if this Goa'uld-"

"Tisiphone," Jack cut in.

"I know," the older man replied. It became quiet, the name alone causing discomfort for all four men.

Tisiphone was rearing her ugly head again. This time it wasn't one person, not even one team. This time she'd taken on a whole base, shattering more lives and making more enemies. Not just the humans, but the free Jaffa and the Tok'ra as well. And though she was nowhere near as powerful as Anubis, if she came into ownership of the device Hailey possessed, Tisiphone could effectively tip the balance of power in the galaxy.

They could only pray they'd find Jennifer Hailey safe and sound.

o-O-o

Teal'c gently laid a tiny form on the waiting stretcher. The person groaned.

"It is all right Lieutenant Hailey. You are back on Earth," Teal'c said, his voice deep and soothing.

"I lost it…I lost it…" she murmured, distraught.

"Do not worry," he replied. Even Teal'c did not want to think of the implications of her words. He didn't know the entire story. They had found Jennifer unconscious in the woods. She'd obviously been on the losing end of a struggle with a Jaffa. She'd not only lost the fight, but the new weapon they were developing.

Teal'c watched as she was rolled away and out of the gate room. He turned when shouts and the deafening sound of boots pounding on the ramp reached his ears.

Hammond brushed past Teal'c. He'd already been in the room when the current wave of wounded had started to come through. "What's going on?" he demanded as people rushed past him, healthy and injured alike. A blast firing through the event horizon answered his question. He ducked while calling out for the guards to take positions.

"Super soldiers, sir!" Major Long of SG-11 shouted as he raced down the ramp. "I'm the last one! Close the iris!"

The iris closed, a few more shots hitting the metal before the wormhole disengaged.

"What do you mean?" Hammond asked, somewhat bewildered. "I was told Tisiphone was responsible for this!"

"Anubis must have been late to the party, sir."

The general tried to process all the information. He still hadn't figured out how Tisiphone had known of the Alpha Site in the first place. All reports that had come in had only confirmed Tisiphone must be the one responsible. How did Anubis fit into the equation? Add to that the growing mistrust between Earth and their allies. Someone had leaked the information.

Hammond had a feeling his headache was just beginning.

TBC in 'Mistrust'


	38. Mistrust

Ch. 37 Mistrust

"They what?" Jack bellowed, grasping the back of the chair tightly, eyes narrowing.

Hammond looked up at the colonel from his desk. "The Tok'ra are blaming Major Carter for the discovery of the Alpha Site. They postulate that at some point during her captivity by Tisiphone, she gave up the information."

"No way. We were with her the whole time," Jack refuted hotly.

"The whole time?"

"Well, no sir, not every second, but…"

"Don't worry, Jack. I don't believe she had anything to do with it, either. As a matter of fact, I'm willing to bet the Tok'ra had more to do with it than they'll ever let on." Hammond tapped his pencil lightly against the desk, waiting for Jack to take the bait.

"What do you mean?" Jack asked, calming himself enough to sit across from Hammond.

"During the time you were Tisiphone's captive, a Tok'ra went missing. This operative could have possibly fallen into the hands of Tisiphone and given up the location of the Alpha Site. We've got no proof, but no one knows what happened to this man."

"So maybe one of their own did it? They'll never admit it, but they'll smear Carter's name through the dirt after all she did for them?" Jack questioned. He knew, _knew,_ Sam hadn't said anything. She would die before she let any harm come to the Tok'ra. In fact, she had.

"Well, not every Tok'ra believes it. However, Delek, a High Council member, is pushing the issue. Jacob's not too happy with it."

"No," Jack agreed. He was furious; he couldn't even imagine how Jacob was taking it as a father.

"Bottom line is, no one knows exactly who told her where we were. Everyone pointing fingers won't do any good. The Jaffa think the Tok'ra did it. They think we did it. We think one of them could have been responsible. We just don't know, and chances are, we never will," Hammond admitted.

"And our alliance is falling apart because of it." Jack couldn't truthfully be that upset. At times both the Tok'ra and free Jaffa had been more trouble than they were worth. He winced as he remembered some of the more…memorable…experiences.

"Yes, it is. Dr. Jackson and Jacob are trying to reconcile our differences, but it seems we're about to be the only ones at the Beta Site. While I'm sure the entire alliance won't be destroyed, the Alpha Site was a huge step forward. Humans, Tok'ra, and Jaffa, working, fighting, and living side by side. This is a blow to our fight against the Goa'uld."

"Yeah," Jack nodded slowly. He could see the general's point. Whatever his personal feelings about their allies were, Hammond was right. "Any more information on how Anubis knew where we were?"

"They're squabbling over that as well, blaming each other. Not to mention no one's happy about the anti-drone weapon being taken by Tisiphone." Hammond sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time that day.

Everything was basically going to Netu.

Again.

o-O-o

Teal'c settled next to Jennifer's bed, placing a small glass of yellow jello by her bedside.

Jennifer smiled weakly. "Thanks, but I'm not hungry."

"You must eat," Teal'c prodded gently.

"I said no thanks, Teal'c," Jennifer reiterated. She looked away insolently. She had no appetite. Besides, her jaw still hurt from her confrontation with the Jaffa.

"Lieutenant, you cannot change what happened," Teal'c said simply.

"I lost the power unit. That was the best version we had. All that work's lost. Not to mention a Goa'uld has it now," she told him glumly. She'd failed everyone. She replayed the scene in her head over and over. She'd been scuffling with the larger Jaffa, but he'd been too formidable. He'd forced the pack containing the precious device from her hands. She had one sprained wrist and two broken fingers to show for it.

"The Jaffa who took it did not know what he was taking from you. Tisiphone does not know what she has," Teal'c tried to comfort her.

Jennifer swallowed. "I don't know about that, Teal'c." She hadn't given her full report on the incident yet, and this part would be the hardest to admit.

Next to her, Teal'c raised his eyebrow. He patiently waited for her to continue.

Exhaling, Jennifer did. "We did manage to wipe the computer, but I had notes pertaining to the unit in the lab as well. I couldn't leave them there to be found. We had to get out of there quickly, so I just threw those into the same bag as the device." In hindsight, she realized she should have never put the two together, but it was an insight that came too late. "They have it now. Tisiphone's going to figure it out. Stupid!" she admonished herself. Things were even more screwed up than before and it was all her fault.

Teal'c took in her words, carefully considering them before he spoke. "You did the best you could to prevent those items from falling into the wrong hands. However, sometimes it is not avoidable."

"Yeah, that's a nice way to look at it until the-"

"Jennifer," Teal'c interrupted, placing a large hand on her shoulder. Jennifer reluctantly paused, letting him speak. "You cannot dwell on what has occurred. We must all focus on preventing any further damage."

"Damage control," Jennifer nodded. "Yeah, but that's just it, Teal'c. There shouldn't be any damage to control. I'm to blame."

"Are you responsible for the attack on the Alpha Site?"

"Well, no."

"Were you the one to reveal our location to the enemy?"

"No!"

"Indeed. You must not blame yourself. There is a much larger picture here," Teal'c gently reminded her.

Jennifer knew there was truth to his words. Teal'c was very wise and had much more experience than she. Thankfully, he didn't seem angry with her, but she wasn't sure how Colonel O'Neill would react.

She had never felt uncomfortable around Teal'c or Daniel, but ever since Jennifer joined the team, there was something different about her new boss. He'd never gone so far as to ostracize her from the team, but she could feel he wasn't at ease with her being around.

Jennifer knew she hadn't been chosen because Jack liked her and wanted her there. He'd picked her because she was not only a soldier, but a scientist as well, and very good at what she did. She was the closest person on base who could replace Samantha Carter. And that was precisely the reason, she felt, that he didn't warm up to her. All she could really do was do her job to the best of her abilities and hope it was enough. But she'd just screwed up.

Big time.

TBC in 'State of Affairs'


	39. State of Affairs

Ch. 38 State of Affairs

"Okay, here's your dinner, complete with extra ranch on your salad," Daniel said, handing the petite Doctor Fraiser her food.

Janet adjusted herself in her hospital bed, gratefully accepting Daniel's offering. She wasn't used to being the patient, but being laid up in the infirmary was better than the alternative.

It had been a close call. She'd been summoned offworld to help with the wounded on P3X-666. She should have known from the destination's name it was going to be trouble. While helping a young solider, Simon Wells, she'd been shot. She could remember the force of the impact. In that split second so many things had rampaged through her head. First the pain and shock. Then Cassie…was she leaving her behind? Was this it? She'd seen so many staff blasts kill. The cold chill of realizing it might be her turn…

She hadn't died, though. There hadn't even been blood. Just a bruise the size of Texas, a few burns, and a cracked rib. The new ceramic polymer the SGC had been developing had done its job; she was alive. Still, lives had been lost that day.

"So, how're you feeling?" Daniel asked, settling down in a chair with his own tray of food.

"Better, thanks," Janet smiled, stabbing at her salad. Daniel had been there with her on the planet. From what she understood, she wouldn't have made it out of there had it not been for him. Neither would have Simon Wells. She'd already thanked Daniel, but he'd brushed it off, stating he'd only been doing his job.

"That's good," he replied. "Cassie okay?"

"Yeah. She came by earlier. She was a bit shaken up, understandably."

"Yes, it's very understandable. This hasn't been a very easy year."

"No," Janet agreed, her voice somber. Seven months before, they'd lost Sam. Janet shook her head. It didn't seem that long ago. The pain was still fresh, and as long as Tisiphone was around, it would always be on their minds.

Recent developments on that front were not good. After her attack on the Alpha Site, a rift had been created in their alliances. The free Jaffa had left the Tau'ri base and the Tok'ra relations were strained. Only Jacob Carter and Selmak stood between them totally severing ties.

Subsequently, Tisiphone and Anubis had started clashing. Anubis had been well aware she had the device that could exterminate his soldiers, and Tisiphone had been well aware she had it. Though, with limited resources, she could not completely wipe out the drones. She'd held her own, though. Warriors from at least a half dozen fallen Goa'uld had been spotted among Tisiphone's ranks.

The up and coming Goa'uld might not have been able to stave off defeat for long against such a powerful System Lord, but Ba'al had approached her. And why not? Ba'al wanted Anubis gone just as much as anyone. Tisiphone had a device that could help with that, and Ba'al had the assets to help her create more anti drone weapons. Their joined forces had been causing much turbulence in the galaxy. It was quite the partnership, and a disturbing one at that, considering the SGC's past with the two. Even more disconcerting than that was, due to Ba'al's influence, Tisiphone had joined the ranks of the System Lords.

"I hate the Goa'uld."

Janet's eyes flew up from her tray at the young doctor's words.

Daniel shook his head slightly, as if apologizing. "Sorry."

"No need," Janet replied softly, setting her food aside, only half eaten. Her eyes locked with Daniel's piercing blue ones and she could see the anger and grief. There must have been understanding in her own, because he continued.

"It's just, especially lately, they don't give us a break. It's one thing after another. I think of how many people we've lost to them. How much destruction and death there has been at their hands and I…" Daniel's voice faded into a whisper.

"You wonder when it will end, don't you?"

Daniel cocked his head at her. "Yeah, I do."

"I've been wondering that myself," Janet admitted. "Seven years in, are we any better off than we were? This war was going on long before we joined the fight and will probably rage long after we're gone."

"Never get to see the fruits of our labor, huh? Just hope it's not all in vain?" Daniel posed.

"Maybe so. But I know neither of us are quitting, so what's the point in worrying?" Janet shrugged. "We have to do the best we can or it _will_ all be in vain."

"Yeah," Daniel agreed. "And maybe if we're lucky, Tisiphone will take Anubis out for us. One less Goa'uld to worry about, right?"

Janet smiled. That was one way to consider it.

o-O-o

Jack stalked down the hall. Stupid reporters. As if he didn't have enough to deal with after what had occurred on 666, he had to finally talk to the scum sucking reporter. And he'd had the audacity to bring up the 'incident with Major Carter', as he'd so eloquently put it.

That 'incident' was not something he was going to discuss with a stranger. That man didn't have a clue about what had taken place on that planet, other than he knew Jack had lost his 2IC of seven years there. The nerve. This man thought he could just waltz in and ask whatever questions he pleased. In reality, he was just pouring salt on open wounds.

As he turned the corner, a sudden, bright flash of light temporarily blinded him. Different scenarios ran through his head, but when he finally regained his ability to see clearly, this particular one he hadn't expected.

"Greetings, O'Neill." The quiet, even-tempered voice came from the small, gray being standing in front of him.

"Thor! Long time, no see," Jack welcomed, momentarily forgetting his troubles. It had been ages since Thor had made an appearance.

"It has been some time," Thor agreed.

"Too long. What brings you here?" Jack wondered. Though he loved to see his alien friend, he usually popped in for a visit when trouble was afoot.

"I have heard of SG-1's loss and have come to express my condolences." Thor's face rarely showed emotion, but his pain could clearly be seen.

"Thank you," Jack replied graciously.

"Samantha Carter will be greatly mourned by the Asgard. Have you caught the Goa'uld responsible?"

"Tisiphone? No. She's a threat even as we speak." For a second he hoped Thor knew something he didn't, that he could do something he couldn't. That he could help them destroy Tisiphone.

But the Asgard simply nodded, looking pensive as ever.

The silence was broken by the grating voice of Emmett Bregman, fast approaching.

"Thor, you'd better leave. You don't want any part of this," Jack cautioned.

"Indeed. Goodbye, O'Neill."

As quickly as he had shown up, the Asgard was gone. Jack turned on his heel, heading back around the corner and away from Bregman. He didn't feel like explaining little gray men to him. It was too bad, Jack thought, that Thor hadn't whisked him away, too.

TBC in 'So This Is Christmas'


	40. So This Is Christmas

Ch. 39 So This Is Christmas

Jack tilted his head back, the last drops of his beer sliding down his throat. It was warm, not cool; he'd been nursing his drink for hours. He set the bottle down just as the clock's red, digital numbers read 12:00.

Officially Christmas Day. Fantastic. Here he was, sitting alone and drinking. It had been years since he'd done this on Christmas. He leaned back against the couch and sighed. There was really nothing else to do.

12:01

He glanced over as his phone began to vibrate against the coffee table. Scooping the device up, he read the caller ID. He wasn't shocked to see Daniel's number. Jack had figured he'd be checking in sooner or later.

"Hello."

"Hey, Jack. Merry Christmas."

"Same to you," Jack replied. He couldn't muster the will to tell him Merry Christmas. It would be a lie anyway. He wasn't merry at all.

"We still on for later?"

"Yeah."

There was a pause and he knew Daniel was contemplating what to say, or if he should say anything at all. He was hoping Daniel wasn't going to delve into his 'feelings'.

"Okay, then. See you in the morning."

Jack breathed a sigh of relief after he said his own goodbye and hung up. He was glad Daniel hadn't pushed it. Still, he had to get through the whole day without someone asking how he was doing. There was a slim chance of that.

Stretching out on the couch, he trained his eyes on the blinking lights that adorned his tree. It was a miniature one that Cassie had insisted on putting up the week before. She loved the holidays and refused to let Jack be a grinch.

The teen had been holding up well since Sam's death, often times being able to cope with it better than Jack himself. Perhaps it was because she was more open with her feelings, but that strength had helped Jack in more ways than she would ever know.

Simple as it was, the little Christmas tree with its twinkling lights did help lighten his heavy heart.

o-O-o

Three men trekked through the snow, boots leaving imprints in their wake. The crisp wind gusted, and the wintry sky promised more snow soon.

A calm stillness lay over the cemetery. No one was there on this morning. They were all at home, gleefully opening presents and celebrating with their families. On any other day, the empty graveyard would have been slightly unnerving, eerie even. But today it gave the privacy and serenity that was needed.

The flush of poinsettias was a stark contrast to the whiteness of the snow. Daniel arranged the flowers carefully as Jack worked to brush away the snow encrusted on Sam's headstone. The letters of her name soon began to emerge. Jack drew away as the bitterly cold white substance started to numb his hand. An involuntary chill ran down his spine. Stuffing his hands in his pockets to warm them, he rose to stand by Teal'c.

"Merry Christmas, Sam," Daniel said softly, once he was satisfied with the flower display. "We know how much you like poinsettias, so, ah, here you go." The youngest of the group then stood as well. Days like today were the hardest. "I still can't believe she's gone."

"It will not be the same this year," Teal'c stated solemnly.

Jack nodded his head to show his agreement. He always came out to the cemetery, but he was never good at talking about the reason they were actually there.

The teammates stood silently, each lost in their own thoughts. When Daniel let out a small chuckle, the two others had to wonder what was so humorous. Despite their odd stares, Daniel had a small grin on his face.

"Remember when she had to explain Santa Claus to you, Teal'c?" he recalled.

Teal'c raised his eyebrow. "I do indeed. I am still not confident I understand…Santa."

"Or Jack, that time Cassie had the mistletoe and tried to catch you and Sam together on Christmas Eve?"

"She was quite persistent," Jack replied. They had barely evaded the girl's trap that evening.

Teal'c raised his eyes toward the sky as snowflakes began to settle atop his bald head. "We should leave. Dr. Fraiser and Cassandra will be expecting us."

Even though Teal'c was right, silence answered him. It was time to leave and get on with their day, but it took a few moments before the men turned away from the grave.

Jack was the last to depart, he always was. Taking one last look, he turned and took long strides to catch up with Daniel and Teal'c. The two never said anything about his lagging behind. They knew he needed that extra time.

The snow began to fall harder as they made their way back to Daniel's car. Once inside, Daniel started up the vehicle and flicked the radio on, catching the last line of a particular Christmas song.

_And have yourself a Merry Little Christmas now…_

Christmas held special memories of their lost friend. They would try to remember the good times today, but the painful ones were still so fresh.

The tires crunched against the gravel as they left the cemetery and drove toward the Fraiser's.

They might not be merry, but this was Christmas.

TBC in 'Last Best Chance'

A/N: Two more down, two more to go...


	41. Last Best Chance

Ch. 40 Last Best Chance

Jack rolled his eyes at the television. The shrub Kinsey was the new vice president. Ever since the election in November, Jack had known this day would come. It irritated him to no end that Kinsey had moved up in the chain of command. This certainly couldn't bode well for the SGC.

"So, how long until none of us have jobs?" he wondered aloud.

Daniel lifted his head from the artifact he was studying. "What?"

"Kinsey," he answered, waving his hand at the television.

Frowning, Daniel turned his attention to the screen. "Yeah, I'm not too happy about it either. But he can't shut us down."

"No?" Jack asked in disbelief.

Daniel shrugged. "It wouldn't be the smart thing to do while Ba'al and Tisiphone are such a threat."

Ba'al and Tisiphone were the two top dogs in the Goa'uld hierarchy. Together, they were using the anti-drone weapon against Anubis and, for the most part, leaving them alone. When they were done with Anubis, they would begin to set their eyes on Earth. Both Goa'uld had a bone to pick with the Tau'ri.

"Kinsey won't see them as a threat until fire is raining down on Washington," Jack rebuffed.

"Hopefully that won't be the case." Daniel lowered his head and continued his work as Jennifer slipped into the lab. "Hey," he greeted.

"Hailey," Jack acknowledged.

"Hi. I was just bringing this by for Daniel. It's that Ancient writing SG-2 discovered on P3X-439." She set a stack of papers on the archaeologist's desk.

"Oh, wow. I've been waiting on this. Thanks, Jennifer." Abandoning the task in front of him, he picked up the papers and began rifling through them. "Amazing," he murmured.

"Well, it's not everything," Jennifer cut in.

"What?"

"Some of Tisiphone's men decided to pay a visit and the rest of the colonnade was destroyed before they could get all of the text."

"That sucks."

Daniel shot a look to Jack. "Yes, it does." Sighing, he returned back to the papers.

"Well, he'll be busy for…the next 6 months. Let's get some dinner, Hailey," Jack suggested, taking his teammate by surprise. He hardly ever made offers like this.

Jennifer's boss had started to mellow out around her a bit more. The incident at the Alpha Site hadn't helped much, but she'd worked around the clock to redeem herself. So much work had been lost to the enemy, and she'd recreated every bit of it. However, it didn't really matter since Tisiphone had figured it out and was doing their work for them.

Months had passed since she had joined SG-1, and Jennifer wondered if she'd ever start to feel like she was part of the team. She couldn't pass this opportunity up.

She nodded to Jack. "Sure. See you later, Daniel."

He didn't even notice them leave.

o-O-o-O-o

"Up and at 'em, Daniel!"

Daniel didn't lift his head from its resting place on top of his hands.

"We have a mission, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c spoke up after Jack's wake up call was unsuccessful.

"It's gone," Daniel muttered.

"What?" Jack asked, coming to stand in front of the forlorn archaeologist.

Raising his head, Daniel rubbed his eyes before placing his glasses back on. "P3X-439."

"We were aware the ruins were…ruined," Jack replied, unsure of where Daniel was going.

"I've been working on this translation for a week, and from what I can gather, I think the monument contained a repository of the Ancients. It talks about a library of knowledge."

"The headsucker?"

"Indeed," Teal'c concurred. "However, SG-2 reported nothing survived the attack."

"That's just it, Teal'c," Daniel sighed. "We lost it. The greatest repository of knowledge in the known universe. A chance at finding the Lost City of the Ancients and finally beating the Goa'uld. It's all gone."

TBC in 'Hail to the Chief'


	42. Hail to the Chief

Ch. 41 Hail to the Chief

"I have some news to share with you."

The four members of SG-1 looked at General Hammond intently. He'd called a meeting and none of them were sure why. He didn't looked particularly upset, nor did he seem that upbeat.

"As you know, we have a new administration."

"Oh, here it comes," Jack exclaimed. He'd been waiting for this. He couldn't believe it had taken the vice president three months to start harassing them. "It's Kinsey, isn't it?"

"No. The president has requested to visit our facility. He will be arriving at the start of the week," Hammond informed his flagship team. They were the first group to hear the news.

"The president, really? I figured for sure Kinsey would be the one," Daniel mused.

"Kinsey has briefed him, but President Hayes wants to see the program for himself," Hammond relayed.

"You think he doubts Kinsey?" Jennifer wondered. She hadn't had much experience with the man, but she knew enough to be suspicious of him.

Hammond carefully contemplated his words before speaking. "I think he has his reasons to."

Teal'c nodded, not the least bit surprised. "What exactly will take place?"

"He will take a tour of the mountain and interview key personnel, which includes SG-1."

"Great." Jack hated these interviews. They seemed more like witch hunts than anything else. Although with Hayes coming instead of Kinsey, they might have a chance.

"Just tell the truth," Hammond told them. "You all have done your jobs to the best of your abilities. You have nothing to hide."

o-O-o

"Lieutenant Hailey, how long have you been on SG-1?"

"About nine months, sir."

"And in that time have you ever felt uncomfortable with any orders you've received?"

"No, sir. SG-1 is a team of the highest caliber, and it's an honor to serve with them."

"Such an honor you would look the other way if something untoward was occurring?"

"No, sir. These people would never behave in such a manner. That's one reason I find it such a privilege to work with them."

o-O-o

"Teal'c, I know you're not from this world. How far would you go for the people of Earth?"

"I would die for them."

"You mean to tell me you would never consider turning back to your old ways?"

"Never."

"How can we trust you?"

"Time and time again I have proven myself to the Tau'ri. I show my allegiance through my actions. Even if I am to lose my position on SG-1, I will fight for the cause until my dying breath."

o-O-o

"Explain this ascension thing to me, Dr. Jackson."

"Well, it's basically when you ascend to a higher plane of existence. You no longer need your physical form; you exist purely as energy."

"And this happened to you?"

"Yes."

"So, how'd you get back here, to your physical form?"

"I angered the Ancients by interfering in the lower planes. I got kicked out of the club, so to speak."

"And you just appeared back here?"

"No, on another planet. In a field. With no memories. Naked."

o-O-o

"How can you justify all of your actions over the last seven years, Colonel?"

"By the fact we're all still here and Earth hasn't been enslaved or blown to kingdom come."

"But are we really safe?"

"Not as long as the Goa'uld are out there. They've come after us before, and it's only a matter of time until they do again."

"So you think the Stargate Program should remain active?"

"Why don't you step through that gate and see what's happening? Then you come back and tell me the answer to that question."

o-O-o

Numerous interviews and days later, SG-1 found themselves back at Hammond's table.

"Do we know the results of the president's review yet?" Daniel questioned. How many times had they been right here, not knowing the future of the program?

"No, not yet. He still has some interviews to conduct and files to browse through, but your part of the inquiry is done," Hammond told them.

"Ah. So what now?" Jack clasped his hands and leaned back in his chair.

"You've been given some downtime," Hammond smiled, knowing they all needed it. They were wound tightly; things had been stressful lately.

Sitting up, Jack looked a little concerned. "Sir, I'm not sure now is a good time to leave. With the president here and all-"

"The Commander and Chief insists you take a break." Hammond said firmly. "Dismissed."

"Well then, who am I to argue?" Standing, Jack was already beginning to plan his time away from the SGC. Jennifer left, more than likely to her lab. Teal'c and Daniel were not far behind, but Jack called them back.

"What do you say we head to the cabin?" he asked. "It's been a while."

"Jack, I don't think it's prime fishing weather quite yet," Daniel reminded him. He wasn't fond of the idea of sitting outside fishing. Though it was spring and warming up, he was sure it would be much nicer at the cabin in a couple of months.

"Doesn't matter. It's far away from here. Don't you ever just want to...get away?"

Daniel understood Jack's reasoning. At the moment, he _did_ feel like going away. "Okay," he gave in. Daniel looked to Teal'c. "Teal'c?" He wasn't going if Teal'c wasn't.

"I will go, as long as you do not ask me to fish."

"Deal," Jack replied, pleased he'd convinced them to tag along.

"Uh, Jack?" Daniel piped up, not wanting to ruin Jack's mood, but feeling the need to say something. "What about Jennifer?"

"What about her?" Jack groused, the grin falling from his face.

"Invite her!" Daniel said, crossing his arms while he waited for the argument that was sure to come.

"Daniel."

"Come on, Jack. She's been part of SG-1 now for a while. What kind of message do you think it will send if you invite the rest of the team but her?"

"Daniel."

"Jack."

Daniel's voice left no room for interpretation. If Jennifer didn't go, they weren't going.

o-O-o

Henry Hayes crossed his legs as he made himself comfortable in the chair. He still couldn't believe all the things he'd seen and heard since he'd arrived there. "Well, George, it looks as though my suspicions are true."

Sitting across from him, Hammond tilted his head. "What suspicions are those?"

"That you people have done exceedingly well under the circumstances. I don't know how you do it."

Hammond didn't smile, but nodded his head in acknowledgement and appreciation.

Hayes sighed before continuing. "But, as despicable as I've come to believe he is, I can't ignore the vice president. Whatever I think or decide regarding the program, I have a feeling I'm going to have to watch my back."

Keeping his silence, the general waited for the president to explain.

"I know he's dirty, George. I just wish I'd known all this before I picked him as my running mate. But, there's a political aspect to Kinsey's position that makes sense. We can't keep the Stargate a secret forever. When it finally comes out, what is the public going to see?"

"There needs to be evidence that your administration did what was necessary, that you're in control," Hammond answered, understanding his position.

"That's just it. _I _am in control. Stargate operations will continue as normal, until such time I decide differently." Hayes was resolute in his decision. He wasn't going to be trampled on by a snake like Kinsey.

"What about Vice President Kinsey?"

"He decided to sleep with the enemy. I'm not going to let him walk right over me because of some bad deals he made. Besides, I have enough on him now to have him shot."

Hammond chuckled lightly. Maybe that wasn't such a bad idea.

The blaring of the klaxons startled both men, even Hammond who had become accustomed to it. Harriman broadcast the unscheduled off world activation.

"George?" Hayes asked, rising to his feet. This was by no means the first time he'd seen the gate in action, but he couldn't deny his curiosity. You could never be sure who would come through the circular device.

"Let's go find out."

The men walked down to the control room. The normal bustle of people put to rest any worries the two might have had.

"It's Jacob Carter, sir," Harriman announced, perched at his computer.

"The Tok'ra, right?" Hayes recalled the file on the former USAF general.

"Yes. Let him through."

Hayes followed Hammond down into the gate room. He saw a man walking down the ramp, dressed in brown attire.

"Jacob."

"George. Mr. President," Jacob greeted. The Tok'ra seemed amused at the look on the Commander and Chief's face. "I do try and keep up with current events."

"Of course," Hayes replied, somewhat embarrassed.

Jacob's demeanor quickly turned serious again.

"What is it, Jacob?" Hammond pressed.

"Tisiphone."

TBC in 'Mounting a Rescue'


	43. Mounting a Rescue

Ch. 42 Mounting a Rescue

"How many Tok'ra were involved in this skirmish?" Hammond had escorted the two other men up to the briefing room.

"A dozen. Fortunately, this was one of our smaller cell bases. Eight were taken captive, three killed, and one injured. They must have thought he was dead. I'm sure he wasn't meant to survive. The three who were off world discovered the carnage upon their return."

"And?" Hayes inquired, feeling there was more to the story.

"The injured Tok'ra, Kritesh, knows the address of what may or may not be Tisiphone's homeworld."

"What?" Hammond could feel his heart beat a little faster at this news. This could be the best bit of news they'd had in months.

"He saw the address her Jaffa entered into the DHD," Jacob explained. "He was lucky."

Hammond nodded. "We should send a UAV through and see what there is to see."

"I agree. And if it looks good…" Jacob waited to see what Hammond would recommend.

"We'll send a team of both humans and Tok'ra. Will the High Council agree to that?" They couldn't be sure the Tok'ra would agree to anything these days. But if Jacob was there, telling them this, they must want their help.

"I believe so," Jacob agreed. "I know our alliance is on shaky ground, but this could go a long way in repairing it. We both have something to gain from this."

"Very true, Jacob. Give us the address and we'll send a UAV. You get your team together and I'll get mine."

Jacob's eyebrow rose at this.

"It won't be SG-1," Hammond responded knowingly. "They're currently unavailable. Besides, I had SG-3 in mind."

Jacob nodded. He scrawled down seven symbols and handed the paper to his friend. "Let me know how it turns out."

"Will do." He shook Jacob's hand, and in turn, Jacob shook the president's hand as well.

As the Tok'ra departed, Hayes looked at Hammond in disbelief. "You do this every day?"

"Yes, sir. Every day." Hammond could identify with his amazement. He remembered when the Stargate program had been new to him, as it was to Hayes. But even though he had been doing this for many years, it never got easier.

o-O-o

Teal'c eyed Jennifer closely. Jennifer didn't blink as she stared him down.

"Just fold 'em, Teal'c," Jack prodded.

"No, she's bluffing!" Daniel disagreed. "Don't do it!"

Teal'c studied the petite woman closely before finally putting his cards down. "I fold."

"Yes!" Jennifer cried, revealing her cards and scooping up all the chips.

"I told you," Daniel admonished. "Should have listened."

"Well, if it makes you feel better, Teal'c, she had me going, too," Jack added.

"I am fine. Lieutenant Hailey is excellent at poker. She deserved to win."

"You're not bad yourself," Jennifer smiled. "How long have you been playing anyway?"

"Since soon after I arrived on this planet. However, there is a game much like this on Chulak."

"Hey, you never told me that!" Jack said in surprise. "I'm wounded, T. I thought I taught you everything you know."

"You did not wonder how I picked up on it so quickly and proceeded to win each time, O'Neill?" Teal'c's face stayed straight as he helped Jennifer pick the game up.

Jack grunted as Daniel and Jennifer snickered at his expense.

"It's okay, sir. I'm sure you're a very good player in your own right. You did beat Daniel."

"Ah, now the tables are turned," Jack sneered as he popped the tab off of his beer and flung it at Daniel.

"Hey, come on now!" Daniel whined, dodging the flying piece of metal.

Jennifer smiled. It was all in good fun. This team was close, so close. She felt privileged to be there. But the barrier that stood between she and her CO was still there. Maybe in this environment, far away from work, she could broach the subject with him.

o-O-o

Reynolds stood next to Hammond as the rescue team, consisting of SG-3 and three Tok'ra, made their final preparations.

The planet had already been in the system as a known planet under Tisiphone's rule. It was a naquadah mining operation, with more prisoners than guards, the UAV revealed. They could move in almost undetected and had timed their arrival to be at night. Darkness was the best disguise.

Of course there was danger, but there always was. Hammond had been concerned, but Reynolds had assured him they could handle the mission. The colonel surveyed the gate room. They'd been briefed and they were ready. He nodded to his commander.

"Dial it up!" Hammond ordered. The gate began to spin and he turned back to the group. "Bring them back."

"Yes, sir!" After the wormhole had stabilized, Reynolds marched up the ramp to lead his team. "Move out!" One by one, they disappeared through the glimmering event horizon.

"Good luck and Godspeed," Hammond murmured to himself. The gate cut off, leaving him in the gate room and the rescue team on their own.

o-O-o

The group of seven moved stealthily towards the prison camp. The UAV had shown it being very near the mines where the prisoners were made to work. Only two Jaffa had been at the gate, but they'd not been much of a threat. However, they'd been quite a bit of help.

Captain Michaels, the team's youngest, donned one Jaffa's gear. It could be useful in getting in. DeVargas, their resident scientist, pulled out her ever handy black marker and quickly gave Michaels the proper facial tattoo.

Nashan, the head Tok'ra, watched him, his expression nothing short of amused.

"Hey, you do what you gotta do." Michael's shifted uncomfortably in the heavy uniform and they continued on.

They closed in on the target area and came to a stop. The workers had gone in for the night and guards stood watch at the dilapidated buildings they were housed in. There were two long structures. Finding out which one the captive Tok'ra were in, if they were still there at all, was going to be a challenge.

Nashan thoughtfully watched the guards pace back and forth. "Use me as a prisoner."

"What?" Reynolds asked.

"You already have a Jaffa," he stated, pointing to Michaels. "Use me as a prisoner and I will be taken to the rest of the Tok'ra. Then you will know which building to go to."

"That's a great idea," replied Major Warner, SG-3's 2IC. "But how are _we_ going to get in without drawing attention to ourselves?"

"Leave that to me."

o-O-o

Five minutes later Michaels was leading Nashan towards the prisoners' quarters. The rest of the group waited in anticipation. Reynolds watched as Michaels convincingly played a Jaffa with a newfound prisoner and grinned as a guard pointed them to the second building.

"Wait for it," he whispered to the team. Their two men disappeared inside and the Jaffa keeping watch resumed their positions in front of the doors. Moments later, a loud commotion came from inside the building. The other guards flocked towards the uproar, abandoning their posts.

Soon a bright flash lit up the darkened camp, and when it cleared, the remaining members of SG-3 and the Tok'ra saw their chance. Their enemies were out cold, knocked out by the Goa'uld device. They would have only a short time to get the prisoners out before they awoke.

When no other Jaffa appeared, the team rushed the building Michaels and Nashan had gone into. They entered to find two unconscious Jaffa and Michaels in a stupor.

"Captain. Captain!" Reynolds shook him vigorously.

"Sorry, sir," the armor clad man replied. "Dang thing almost took me out, too."

"He did not shield himself appropriately," Nashan explained. The human was not as experienced with the technology. "Let us move on."

Warner pulled his teammate up and followed the others as they began looking for the missing Tok'ra.

"They said they were in here," Michaels assured them as they passed cell after cell of unfamiliar faces. They all begged to be freed, but there simply was not the time or resources.

"Jo'nek! Hanoush!" Nashan called, hoping it would do some good.

"Here! Here!" Shouts came from the end of the long corridor. The group began to move faster, running in the direction of the voices.

"Here they are!" cried Warner as the imprisoned Tok'ra came into view. He quickly pulled his pack off and extracted what he needed. "Stand back," he warned as he lit the tiny explosive. After a small blast, the lock fell away, the Tok'ra freed.

"Nashan! You are here?" a grateful Tok'ra asked, clasping Nashan's arm.

"Yes, Jo'nek. We must hurry."

Reynolds counted eight people come out of the cell. Satisfied, he barked the order to move out.

"Wait!" a Tok'ra cried as they began to leave. "There is one more!"

Reynolds turned with an exasperated sigh. They didn't have time to stop and save every prisoner along the way. They were going to get caught if they didn't get out soon. "We can't stop," he said, almost apologetically.

"I sense something about this one. I believe it is a fellow Tok'ra. This one is very weak. We must help!"

Reynolds nodded in resignation. They were there to save the Tok'ra after all. "De Vargas, keep your eyes peeled," he ordered. The young woman kept watch as Reynolds followed the Tok'ra to the cell next to theirs.

Peering into the dim room, he could make out a form slumped in the corner. Quickly, he pulled a fuse from his pack and fixed it onto the lock. "Get clear!" Reynolds bellowed. Lighting it, he stepped away. The fuse blew, sparking wildly.

He stepped into the cell and ran to the limp body. Time was limited. Squatting down, Reynolds took in the Tok'ra in front of him. Brown, stringy hair fell around the shoulders, but it didn't hide the horrible gash on her forehead. Assuming it was a she. The face was covered in grime and one side caked with blood. Looking closely, Reynolds could see the delicate features of woman. Her clothing was baggy on her thin frame, tattered and worn, covered in dirt, blood, and who knew what else.

"Warner. Get her and let's move."

"Yes, sir." Reynolds' 2IC handed his CO his P-90 so he could lift the Tok'ra into his arms. Only a small moan of protest left her lips as he hoisted her up. Then, moving quietly and swiftly, SG-3 and the Tok'ra headed for the gate. They only ran into two Jaffa along the way, and that problem was taken care of promptly.

The escape was almost too easy, but Reynolds tried not to think too hard on it. Get the Tok'ra. Get home. Simple as that. So far, so good. He ordered Michaels to dial the Stargate as they approached, and he came to stand by Warner as they waited. The colonel's eyes fell upon the body being cradled to the major's chest.

The light of the two moons lit the clearing, and he studied the face more intently than he had in the cell. There was something… Still letting his eyes wander, Reynolds took in the clothing. Brown, loose fitting pants, a white cotton-like shirt, discolored almost beyond recognition. And a jacket. He took a second, closer look, even as the gate kawooshed.

"My God."

Warner looked to Reynolds, confusion written on his face. "Sir?" He glanced down, his eyes following his commander's. There was a sharp intake of breath, his stomach twisting involuntarily into knots.

In all the excitement and the rush to get to the gate, no one had noticed. Soiled and scarcely decipherable, with only a few strands of stubborn velcro keeping it attached, was something neither of them could mistake. A patch identifying a unit only four people were members of, all of whom were on Earth and accounted for.

SG-1.

TBC in 'Discovery'

And so ends the second part...


	44. Discovery

Ch. 43 Discovery

Reynolds and Warner brought up the rear as the SG team and Tok'ra came down the ramp. The trip through the wormhole had roused the woman in Warner's arms from her semiconscious state. She mumbled something incoherently, pushing away from the man holding her.

"We need a medic to the gate room!" Reynolds called out. He nodded in satisfaction as he heard Harriman's voice page Dr. Fraiser. In the light, he noticed the woman's hair wasn't so dark. Even a few light strands poked through the filthy mess.

"Ma'am, calm down. You're safe. It's okay now," Warner tried to calm her.

Her wild eyes caught Reynolds' for a split second. Crystalline blue. He had no doubts now.

The colonel stepped from the ramp onto the gate room floor, meeting Hammond.

"I see the mission was a success," Hammond said. "Well done." He paused as he noticed the expression on his officer's face. He looked as though he'd seen a ghost.

"Thank you, sir," Reynolds nodded, regaining his composure. "And we got a little bonus." He turned so the general could see. Warner had set the woman on shaky feet; she refused to be held by him any longer. However, she was barely staying upright, swaying like a tree in the wind.

Hammond looked quizzically at Reynolds, then past him at the distraught woman. "I don't-"

He was cut off by the arrival of the medical team and Janet Fraiser. "Okay, what do we have?" she asked. She spotted the disheveled person, her heels clinking against metal as she made her way up the ramp. Janet sadly looked over the woman, scrutinizing her form, searching for injuries.

Janet reached out her hand, trying to soothingly coax her away from Warner. "Come on. It's all right." When she didn't move and Janet's words seemed to be falling on deaf ears, she tried again. "Listen, no one's going to hurt you. I'm here to help. Come on, sweetie," she cajoled softly, her voice inviting.

The woman's head lifted, finally meeting Janet's eyes.

The doctor stepped back, her hand flying to her mouth. Janet didn't need to take a closer look, didn't need to peer beneath the blood and grime. She knew. She looked to Reynolds and Hammond, trying to find an explanation for the unexplainable. The general, too, had finally made the connection. His mouth couldn't form the proper words as he stood at his CMO's side.

Warner gently helped the woman down as she crumbled to the ramp. Tears spilled from azure eyes and down soiled cheeks. They cascaded through the filth that stained her fair skin, leaving muddy trails in their wake.

Samantha Carter couldn't stop the sobs that wracked her fragile body.

She was home.

o-O-o

Jack closed his eyes, letting the chilly evening breeze play over his features. He was almost completely relaxed, far away from the stresses of the SGC. That's why Jack had always loved the cabin. But the fact the one person he'd wanted to come out there most never had, that would always dampen any future experiences.

And Hailey. Having her there wasn't such a bad thing. She seemed to be enjoying herself and it was good for the team. Jack knew he still hadn't fully accepted the lieutenant. He was working on it, but it was difficult. This was even harder than accepting Jonas.

Footsteps on the deck brought Jack out of his reverie. Speak of the devil.

"Sir," Jennifer nodded in greeting.

"Hailey," he returned. Jack realized he hadn't made the effort to tell her to drop the sir. "You can call me Jack when we're out here," he offered half-heartedly.

"I'll take that into consideration," Jennifer replied. She felt better calling him sir. After all, she was still Hailey.

Jennifer sat down, folding her hands in her lap. "I just wanted to say thanks for inviting me. I really like it. I can see why you like to escape out here," the young woman smiled, glancing out at the pond.

"Yeah," Jack agreed, casting a nonchalant look her way.

Jennifer shifted uncomfortably. Even though he'd relented and invited her, there was still that wall between them. She had a strong feeling the colonel didn't _want_ to like her. "Look, I know you don't really like me," Jennifer sighed. "I'm just glad you've at least given me a chance."

Jack rubbed the back of his neck. "Hailey, I like you well enough," he conceded.

Jennifer knew he considered her a 4'9" fighting machine. Spunky. Smart. Good at what she did. Jennifer was also well aware that this Jack O'Neill was a different man than the one she'd known before. He'd been fond of her at one point. Before she'd joined his team. Before she'd taken _her_ place.

"Did you ever bring her out here?" she asked, changing the subject as well as inching closer to the topic she wanted to broach.

Jack frowned. "Her? You mean Carter?"

"Yes."

Shaking his head, Jack replied. "No. I asked her, quite a few times. But…no."

"I think she would have liked it, sir," Jennifer told him, nodding.

"I know she would have. But she always wanted to work. Her projects, her lab. She loved that, kinda like you."

A red flag went up in Jennifer's mind. Her assumptions were probably right. "That's why you have a problem with me."

Jack's eyebrow rose. "You think I have a problem with you?" he queried.

"Sir, I apologize if you think I'm being too forward, but-"

"Look, Hailey, we're at my cabin, hundreds of miles from the SGC. And off duty, for cryin' out loud. Say what's on your mind," Jack said, crossing his arms, waiting expectantly.

"Okay… Well, yes, sir. I think you have issues with me. We've been working together for nine months, but I still feel like I'm an outsider," Jennifer confessed.

"That's why you're here. Team bonding…or something. Whatever Daniel said," Jack sighed. "And I'm truly sorry if I've made you uncomfortable on the team." He looked away, his jaw tight.

"I know I remind you of her," Jennifer blurted out abruptly, but she couldn't take it back. Apprehensively, she waited for her commander's response. Maybe she shouldn't have said it. Perhaps she should have kept her theory to herself.

Jennifer's words hit Jack like a ton of bricks. It wasn't that she was wrong. He knew full well she was right. It was that it had been so obvious that she'd noticed. Jack O'Neill wasn't just agitated with her because almost a year later he still angsting over his 2IC's death. Nor was it because she was the newest member of his team. It was specifically because her presence brought back memories of someone he'd cared a lot about, and hadn't about let go of.

"You're not over her yet, are you?" Jennifer supposed when he didn't reply.

Jack almost had to laugh at how she seemed to read him like a book. He couldn't decide whether to quickly put Hailey in her place or to keep the lines of communication open. Fortunately, he didn't have to think too hard on it as a cell phone chirped.

"Hailey!" he objected. Jack should have known someone would sneak a phone out to his cabin. He picked restlessly at the wooden deck furniture as his 2IC answered.

"Hailey. Yes, sir. Yes."

Jack glared in her direction.

"We can, if need be, sir. Would you like to talk to Colonel O'Neill?"

Jack mumbled under his breath. There was no way he was going back to the mountain. He was on vacation.

"All right. Could you tell us what is so urgent?" Jennifer looked to Jack, perplexed. "Okay. Yes, sir. ASAP. Goodbye."

"What's that about, Hailey? Hammond's not calling us in," Jack said resolutely.

"He wouldn't say, sir. Just that it's very urgent," she informed him as she tucked her cell phone away. "We're to meet up with the 133rd in St. Paul. From there, travel to the mountain will be arranged."

"Fine," Jack acquiesced, getting to his feet. "Let's tell the guys this trip is effectively over."

"Sir?" Hailey questioned. Jack turned to her. "I'm sorry the trip's cut short, but it sounded important. And, just so you know, I didn't mean to overstep my bounds," she apologized.

Jack studied her for a moment, an air of despondency about him. "You didn't," he reassured her. "You were right." He sent her a small, tight smile before heading indoors.

For a moment, Jennifer stood stunned. She'd been right, but that knowledge didn't make anything better. In fact, it almost downright depressed her. But she shrugged it off and followed Jack inside.

Something was afoot at the SGC.

TBC in 'Revelations'

A/N: I am astounded by the response I received on the last chapter. You guys are amazing! I've been asked if this section will be Sam's story. I intentionally kept us with the guys these past chapters, but now you'll get your Carter!


	45. Revelations

Ch. 44 Revelations

"General, what's all this about?"

SG-1 had arrived on base in the wee hours of the morning. Now they were all crowded in Hammond's office and Jack was demanding answers.

"Let's have a seat at the table," Hammond suggested, gesturing towards the next room.

"With all due respect, sir, it's the middle of the night. Can we just cut to the chase?" Jack complained, on the verge of insubordination.

"No, Jack. I think you'll want to sit down for this."

Jack closed his mouth, which was open in protest. He glanced around to Daniel, Teal'c, and Jennifer. They all seemed equally surprised and intrigued at Hammond's words.

"Is this about the president's review?" Daniel questioned as they filed into the briefing room and found their normal seats.

Hammond sat at the head of the table and clasped his hands together. Jack studied his features, trying to read him, but with no success.

"No," he answered simply. "Although we're in the clear as far as that's concerned."

The tension in the room eased.

Then Hammond delved into the situation at hand. "During your downtime, we sent SG-3 to P4X-993," the general began.

"Yes," Daniel nodded. "It's one of Tisiphone's newly acquired planets. It's got a rich naquadah deposit and a mining operation is set up there."

"That's right Dr. Jackson. The mission went without a hitch," Hammond replied.

"Why do I feel a big but coming on?" Jack wondered as he leaned back in his chair.

Hammond smiled gently. "Perhaps because there is one." He paused before continuing. "We received some news regarding Major Carter."

"Of what are you referring to?" Teal'c asked, his head tilted slightly in thought.

Hammond knew there was no beating around the bush, so he simply said it. "We found her."

Jack had always hated the phrase about silence and pins dropping, but at that moment, it was quite literal. The room was deadly silent…until Jack broke the quiet.

"What do you mean by that?" he asked. Jack's eyes narrowed and his stomach began to churn. Found her? She was gone. Sam was dead. He'd been there when she'd taken her last breath. Maybe they had found remains? Or a clone, a robotic version, an alternate universe Carter. This couldn't be the real one. Or perhaps it was just a sick joke, but Jack knew no one would ever play it.

With bated breath the team waited for Hammond to speak. "It's her, Jack," he said as if reading his 2IC's mind. "She's alive."

Hammond watched as Jack bolted from the room. No doubt he was headed straight for the infirmary. Daniel and Teal'c tore after Jack, leaving their chairs spinning in circles in their wake. Hammond looked to Jennifer, who was sitting alone and perplexed.

"Come along, Lieutenant," he said. There was about to be a reunion. And as much joy as it would bring SG-1 to have Samantha Carter back, there would be equally as much pain. The woman in the infirmary was not the same lively officer he'd sent through the gate all those months ago. Hammond bowed his head, suppressing a sigh. Not even close.

o-O-o

Jack's heart threatened to pound right out of his chest as he careened around the corner. Teal'c and Daniel were close on his heels. His mind screamed no, but his heart shouted yes just as forcefully. Jack wasn't sure what to expect when he reached the infirmary, but he had to see, however bewildered he might be at the moment. He could only form two coherent thoughts.

_Sam. _

_Alive_.

It repeated like a mantra in his head.

Then he ran straight into Janet Fraiser.

"Whoa, there," she cautioned him, holding up her hand. "I was told to expect you."

Jack put his hands on his knees, bending over to catch his breath. Then, standing fully upright, his eyes bore into Janet's.

"Doc…"

Janet looked over the three men. The expressions on their faces held hope and trepidation. Those same emotions ran through her. "Please, come to my office." An open area was not the place to have this discussion. Janet saw Hammond and Jennifer bringing up the rear and motioned for them to follow as well.

Once they'd all crammed into Janet's tiny office, she began. "On SG-3's recent mission they came across a woman locked away with the Tok'ra. At first, there was some…confusion…as to who this person was."

"Fraiser, please," Jack almost begged. The small room was almost suffocating him and the urge to run was almost overwhelming. Jack certainly would have gone to Sam if he'd known where she was…or heck, if he even knew what was going on. He couldn't linger to hear the whole story. He _needed_ to see her. _Now_.

"Colonel O'Neill."

Jack almost physically shrank back at Janet's tone.

"I am trying to inform you of what's going on. I know you don't want to sit here and listen to this, but sir, you need to," Janet tried to explain.

"Jack, do as the doctor orders," Hammond gently chided.

Jack nodded and crossed his arms, glumly relenting.

"As I was saying," Janet went on, "there was some confusion. Most of the test results are back and I can, with great certainty, say that the woman retrieved today is Samantha Carter."

Daniel clasped Teal'c on the shoulder, disbelief spreading across his features. He didn't even attempt to wipe away the moistness gathering at the corners of his eyes.

Teal'c looked down to the young archaeologist and smiled softly. He felt as if a weight was lifted from his shoulders. Hope was restored. Teal'c's softened gaze fell to Jack.

He was turned, his forearms against the wall and his head resting against them. Jack was gathering his thoughts, checking his emotions. Heaving a shuddering sigh, he finally faced the group again. "Can we see her?"

How and why this was possible, so many questions pummeled their minds. It wasn't something they could quite grasp. There were questions, yes, but those could wait. To see confirmation of Janet's words, to see _her_, that was what they all wanted and needed.

Janet's lips turned slightly downwards. "I can only speak to her physical health, but even without being qualified, I can tell you that emotionally...she's scarred."

Jack's own frown deepened. "Oh, God…" he murmured as realization dawned on him. "God!" he yelled, slamming his fist on the wall.

Janet fell away from the larger, angry man as Daniel rushed to Jack's side.

"Jack…don't do this…please."

"Sir?" Janet interjected. She could see how upset he was. It was as clear as day. What wasn't as clear was why.

"Don't you get it? After just a few days there she was messed up. It's been almost a year!" Jack shouted lividly. "We left her behind with that monster, Daniel. _We left her behind_!" Thousands of horrible, unmentionable images raced through his mind.

Jack lifted his fist again, but Teal'c caught it before he could launch it into the concrete. "O'Neill. You took the correct course of action. There was nothing we could have done. Nothing," he reiterated firmly. "If you wish to see Samantha, let Doctor Fraiser finish. What is done is done. We can only move forward."

Jack shook his head in reluctant agreement, shaking his fist away from Teal'c's grip. They didn't leave their people behind. That was rule number one, but he'd broken it and Sam had been the one to pay.

Janet cleared her throat. "Major Carter…Sam…I'm not sure how she will react to seeing you all. She's very withdrawn. She seems to recognize me and I'm the only one she's let get anywhere near her since they brought her back. Even still, it's not been easy. As I said, she's withdrawn. And I mean very."

The doctor remembered how difficult it had been to help the woman. To clean her up and tend to her, to perform the procedures that would tell Janet if Sam really was who they thought she was. If the tests hadn't confirmed it, Janet wouldn't have believed it. It simply wasn't Sam. The major who had returned through the gate had come home with a crushed spirit and a broken body.

Sam had been woozy and not entirely sure what was going on around her. However, she'd been conscious enough to fight against Janet. She hadn't wanted to be poked and prodded, touched or spoken to. But Sam had not resisted long. She just didn't have it in her.

The blonde had been completely dejected as Janet had gone about her work. As she'd tended to her, Janet had seen the physical injuries, but could only imagine what was going on in the woman's head. By the time Janet had finished up, Sam was crying quietly, bewildered and upset. It had been a distressing experience for both parties.

"Okay…" Jack drawled slowly. So she was introverted. That wasn't a surprise, but he needed to know more. He could handle this. Sam was back, and no matter how screwed up she might be, she was _there_.

"How so?" Hammond asked, glancing towards Jennifer. She had been standing silently, taking it all in. The lieutenant waited for the doctor to speak.

"Well, as I said, I'm the only one she'll let around her. But even then, she's adverse to just about any type of contact. I'm no psychologist, but it seems as though Sam has been abused…physically, emotionally…something was done to make her so standoffish. But I'll leave that to Dr. Mackenzie." Janet heaved a sigh and rubbed her forehead. "Sam's quite perplexed. I think she knows she's at the SGC, but I don't think she quite believes it. She's got a concussion, which I believe is worsening her confused state." Janet could see her friends' looks of puzzlement, so she decided to go ahead and fill them in on Sam's physical condition.

"Physically, there's nothing that won't heal up within a few weeks. Sam looks to have been involved in some kind of accident," Janet told them.

"Accident?" Teal'c queried, clasping his hands behind his back.

"Yes, from the injuries she's received, it appears she was caught in a collapse of some sort. Besides having a concussion, her right side is sporting some injuries. Bruising and lacerations along her leg and torso, amazingly only one bruised rib, and a dislocated shoulder, which has now been put securely back in place." Janet flipped through her charts and continued. "There's slight dehydration and malnutrition, but…"

"But what," Jack prodded impatiently. "What?"

"I believe there has been sarcophagus use. Not excessive use, but I did find slight variances in her endorphin levels and electrolyte imbalances, among other things. Besides that, if I didn't know better, I wouldn't know that this woman has been off world for the better part of a year. Other than her recent injuries, I find almost nothing else off kilter. For someone in her position, I would anticipate seeing tissue damage, tooth decay, extreme weight loss, and other evidence of being imprisoned off world. While some of these things did come up in her physical examination, they were nowhere near the degree I expected."

"And shouldn't this be a good thing?" Daniel wondered.

"We have no idea what she's been through. Any indications were erased as soon as she was put in that sarcophagus. Now, from the condition of the clothing Sam was wearing we can deduce…" Janet paused. Her personal relationship with the patient was getting in the way. She was having a difficult time staying objective. Her best friend was back from the dead and honestly, the whole situation was unsettling to her.

"Doctor?" Hammond asked, obviously wanting her to continue.

"That it was hell," she whispered, leaving the room in a staggered silence. They were still stunned at the news that Sam had come home. Compounded with this type of information…it really hadn't hit them yet.

"There wasn't supposed to be a sarcophagus," Jack finally murmured. The group's attention turned to him. "We didn't think Tisiphone had one. We could hav-"

"Jack," Daniel cut him off. "We couldn't have known. And even if we did, we couldn't have saved her. We would have never made it." They couldn't get caught up in the what ifs and the if we'd onlys. That would only make this more difficult to deal with.

_We_. Why did he have to say we, Jack bemoaned. It was _his_ fault, not _theirs_. He should have gone back and found her and saved her. Even if he'd failed and not made it out, he could have at least tried. Jack didn't know which was worse, failing to save Sam and being killed or held captive again, or being back on Earth, safe and sound, while Sam had been imprisoned for so long. However, there was a positive side to this; no matter how grim things had been or were, Sam was alive. Worse for the wear, but _alive_. Pushing the guilt and anger aside, he focused on that.

Janet began again. "Well, as of now, we have no clue what has occurred in the time she's been gone. I don't know how forthcoming with that information she will be, but it's not something we should push."

"Can we see her?" Jack interjected, his patience worn thin and his need to be reunited with Sam overpowering. "Please?"

Janet smiled sadly at Jack. She could hear the desperation in his voice. She could somewhat identify with him, but she wasn't sure he was prepared. There really was no way to be. "It's not a good idea to flood her room with visitors, but perhaps one of you can go in with me."

_Me! _Jack yelled internally, his heart rate increasing.

"Colonel O'Neill, why don't you accompany Dr. Fraiser to Major Carter's room?" Hammond suggested. If Jack didn't go, the man would fret incessantly, and that would do no one any good.

"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir!" Jack replied, resisting the urge to hug the general. His nervous energy needed to be channeled somewhere. At the moment, he was rocking back and forth on his heels, ready to follow Janet down the hall. He looked to Daniel and Teal'c and felt sympathetic toward them, but fortunately they didn't seem upset. Jack wasn't going to pass up this opportunity for anything.

"Okay then," Janet nodded. "Let's go, sir."

They walked down the hall to the private rooms. Janet didn't feel it was right to put Sam with other patients in her present condition. They came to a stop by one of the doors, but Janet stood in the way, preventing Jack from getting a look.

"Sir, listen… I know you're glad she's back, we all are. But just don't get your expectations up too high. By that I mean don't let anything she says or does be taken personally. She's been through a lot," Janet said, unwitting tears prickling her eyes. "I'm sorry," she said hastily, wiping them away, angry her personal feelings were getting in the way.

Jack laid a hand on her shoulder, comforting her. "I know, and thank you. For everything," he replied sincerely. Janet smiled in return.

A nurse walked out of the room, surprising them both. "She's asleep, ma'am. Just checking her temperature," she told them, tucking a strand of curly, dark hair behind her ear.

"Thank you. It's important we keep that under control," Janet acknowledged.

"What?" Jack asked, uncomprehending.

"Sam's got some wounds that became infected. She's had a bit of a fever, but she'll be fine," Janet relayed. She took a deep breath. "You ready?"

"Yes," Jack answered. His calm reply belied his anxiousness and anticipation. He was ready and he was excited, but more than that, he was downright petrified. He knew some people thought grown men weren't scared of anything. That a seasoned Air Force colonel couldn't feel such fear. But at that moment, Jack had never been more terrified in his life.

TBC in 'Captivated'


	46. Captivated

Ch. 45 Captivated

Jack momentarily closed his eyes, gathered his wits, and then followed Janet into the room.

All he could see was a mop of light hair and a form under the sheets; she was curled away from them on her left side. But it was her. He was certain of it. Jack took a few cautious steps across the room, making his way around the bed. He had to see her face.

Coming around to see her, Jack's breath caught in his throat.

_Sam_.

For a minute, his brain couldn't get past that name, or even remind him to breathe. He was completely captivated.

On autopilot, he sat in the chair next to Sam's bed and took her in with his eyes. Every last detail. Remembering. Relearning. Releasing.

All of his pain and guilt surfaced at that moment, and like Janet in the hallway, Jack found tears stinging his eyes. Sam was there. She was close enough to touch. He buried his face in his hands and tried to regain the control he was losing. It was so much to process. It was almost beyond comprehension that she could actually be there. Jack rubbed the moisture away and focused his dark eyes on his friend.

Her hair had grown out, he observed. The golden locks were splayed across the pillow behind her, curling slightly. A bandage was affixed to Sam's temple, but Jack could see the bruising the dressing did not conceal. The area looked tender and sore. Her right eye was somewhat swollen as well. No wonder she was out like a light.

Sam's dark eyelashes rested delicately over her pale skin. Her lips were cracked and dry, but parted ever so slightly. Dried tears stained Sam's cheeks and she looked utterly exhausted.

She was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

Jack still didn't believe it, that it was Sam lying there. Janet had assured them, but it seemed impossible that they were getting her back. What was the catch? When was the other shoe going to drop? Why did he feel like she was going to vanish right from under his nose? He wanted to reach out and crush her against him to assure that just that didn't happen. However, Jack knew he couldn't do that. Not after what Doc Fraiser had told them. Speaking of, she must have slipped out of the room while he'd been enthralled by Sam's presence.

His eyes roamed over Sam's covered body. Her right arm was in a sling. Jack could see the material wrap around her neck, taking the strain off of her injured shoulder. Her free hand was nestled under her chin, the sheets clutched tightly in her fist. Sam's legs were drawn up as far as they would go in a protective, defensive position. Jack closed his eyes and cursed silently.

In all of the excitement, Jack hadn't had much time to dwell on the gritty details. The reality of the situation was that Sam had been held captive by Tisiphone for almost a year. She had been left alone with a vengeful Goa'uld and her monster of a First Prime. She'd been left to fend for herself against those who wanted nothing more than for her to suffer and had the will and the means to do it. And even without knowing details, it was evident it had scarred Sam deeply.

Numerous scenarios ran through Jack's head, his imagination conjuring up horrifying images of what Mal'tek had done to her, how far he would have gone. Jack found he hated himself just as much as he hated the Jaffa. In a way, he'd deserted her. He'd left her with no back up and no protection. True, he could have never known, but in hindsight, he should have at least suspected that maybe…

Shaking his head as if to clear it, Jack tried a new train of thought. It was best to do as Daniel said and not get caught up in past events, ones that were unchangeable. He began to consider what would happen later. Sam would heal and eventually be ready for work again. But would she even want to go back out there? For that matter, would she stay in the Air Force? Jack had no idea what was going to happen, with her or with them.

He'd never fathomed them getting another opportunity. One of the greatest pains for Jack had been never moving beyond friendship with Sam. He was still very much in love with her, and if possible, more so now than ever before. But now…now what? He couldn't bombard Sam with his feelings. That was the last thing she needed at the moment. As if things weren't complicated enough beforehand, Jack sighed, they were infinitely more complicated now. Complex though they may be, this time Jack wasn't going to let her go.

Jack eyes stayed trained on Sam as his thoughts ran tumultuously through his head. He simply could not get enough of her. He kept staring at her form, rising up and down with each light breath. Not the harsh, constricted breaths he remembered so vividly, but calm, painless ones. _Sam. Alive._ It was like a broken record, but it was as if his worst nightmare had been rewound and recreated into a bearable, almost pleasant dream. She was like a war torn angel, but an angel nonetheless. Wisps of her flaxen bangs fell over her eyes, and Jack yearned for Sam to open them, to see their clear blue.

She seemed so fragile, almost childlike, but Jack knew she was strong. If anyone could overcome this type of adversity, it was Sam. He was well aware what it was like to be tortured and put in the sarcophagus, only to have it all start over again. He'd always hated the technology with a passion. He hated what it did to people, how it manipulated. But today, Jack's extreme dislike was tempered. The device had allowed Sam another chance at life. It had allowed him another chance, too.

Jack's body tensed as Sam's face contorted into discomfort. Her hand untangled itself from the blanket and gingerly felt of her bandaged head.

She was waking up.

o-O-o

Samantha Carter slowly became conscious. Her massive headache had only been slightly dulled by sleep. She tried to recall where she was. It was somewhere soft and comfortable. A place that wasn't dark and dank. She was somewhere new. And she got the distinct feeling she was being watched.

Throughout her time as Tisiphone's captive, Sam had endured many things she'd never breathe a word of to any soul, atrocities that tormented her even now. She'd been alone and she'd been scared. She'd had nothing to fall back on for support but the memories she had of her team. How they had cared for and been there for her. That was all she had to get through. No matter how resilient Sam thought she had been, no one could be _that_ strong. She was only human, as she'd quickly learned.

But even more than the team as a whole, Sam had remembered Jack. Most especially, she'd thought of him when he'd been with her in their cell. In the brief time he'd been there, Jack had shown her fierce loyalty and devotion. He'd protected her and quelled her fears the best he could. He'd let his walls down and in his own way, shown his love for her. Those thoughts had carried her through many torture sessions. It gave her a focal point. And when she'd been by herself, when they'd finally let her be, she would cling to those memories. Endless hours, lying broken in a cell, Sam would long for him to be there. Her eyes would close and she could almost envision him there and herself enveloped securely in his arms. Daniel and Teal'c, she'd imagine them there, too. They were all nearby and they'd never left. Only then would she let sleep claim her. But even in Sam's dreams, they were there. Sometimes defending her from them, other times saving her from her perpetual hell.

She wasn't sure why her mind, her thoughts, always went to them, to Jack. Maybe she was tired of fighting it; perhaps she desired refuge just that much. Sam had always associated Jack with safety. Something solid and steady in her life, and most certainly a safe haven in times of need, if she'd just let him in. So when she felt lost and alone, and in her times of suffering and pain, she did. She retreated to him in her mind.

Now, whether or not Sam was sure the smiling man she saw sitting by her bedside was real, he was there. The epitome of safety and comfort. _Safety and comfort_. Something she craved. That's why Sam did what she had done so many times in her dreams and in her mind's eye. She didn't think twice and she didn't stop herself. She did what felt right.

She went to him.

TBC in 'Intertwined'


	47. Intertwined

Ch. 46 Intertwined

Seconds felt like an eternity to Jack as Sam studied him. Her eyes were as wide and blue as he remembered, but yet they were very different. He could see the toll that had been taken on her; behind those blue eyes was a story.

Sam lifted herself into a semi-sitting position with her good arm, only a slight grimace crossing her face. The blanket fell around her waist, revealing white scrubs clothing her slender frame and even more bandages. One peered out from the scrub top, across her upper chest. Another ran up her right arm, disappearing under the sleeve. God only knew what else was hidden from view.

Jack's stomach twisted nervously. She was just watching him, contemplating. Considering. As much as he loved it, it unnerved him. He had no clue as to what she was thinking, how she was going to react, and even how he was going to handle this. Jack figured his best bet would be to follow her lead.

So the seconds ticked slowly by. Not once did they tear their eyes from each other. The pull was magnetic. _Magnets_. At that thought, a smile flitted gently over Jack's lips. That simple gesture seemed to break the spell.

His mind reeled as Sam moved towards him. Jack hesitated only a moment before meeting her halfway.

It was probably one of the most awkward hugs Jack had ever had the pleasure of being involved in. He was doing a balancing act with his right leg standing vertically and his left knee propped on the bed. But as he pulled Sam's willing form into his arms, he didn't care.

Warmth spread through Jack's body as her arm snaked up around him and her fingers brushed the nape of his neck. She was so _real_. There would be no more days with just his memories and a few pictures. This was concrete, something he could, literally, hold. His arms had no trouble circling her tiny mid section and he pulled her to him just a bit more, mindful of her injures.

Sam's knees dug into the mattress as she scooted, trying to get closer to Jack. She was desperate for this, for this affection, this kind of attention. She practically fell against him, but his arms held her up. This couldn't be her imagination anymore, or a dream, or even trickery caused by Tisiphone. She leaned the side of her head against his chin and tightly closed her eyes. _Real_. Sam repeated the word over and over in her head, as if to make herself believe it.

She focused on the sensations she was experiencing. Under her fingertips, his hair, prickling ever so slightly. Their bodies were pressed together, and would have been entirely tangled together had Sam's arm not been in a sling. It was nestled carefully between them. Jack's arms were snug around her, making her feel more secure than she had since…since the last time she'd been in this position. His touch was delicate and tender, yet strong and reassuring. Sam inhaled deeply, taking a shuddering breath. Jack's light cologne lingered around him and he smelled of warmth and safety, just like she remembered. This was not a hallucination. No, she was really home.

The realization hit hard.

Jack felt her begin to tremble and made the move to pull away. Had he upset her, he wondered? But as he did, she reaffixed her grasp on him, disapproving and trying to burrow deeper into his embrace. As much as he was ecstatic at Sam's return, Jack couldn't stand to see her this way.

"Hey there," he whispered softly as he moved one hand from her waist to her upper back. This way Jack felt he was sheltering her a bit more. That seemed to be what she needed. "Hey," he repeated. "You're home. You're on Earth. It's all right," he said, trying to encourage her.

Sam tried to nod, but she felt the tears welling up. She hated crying with a passion. It made her weak, just like they'd told her. But she couldn't help it. Here she was, safe. No more abuse, no more terror. No more being alone. Her body quaked as the sobs came.

Jack sighed as he gathered her closer, which was an almost impossible task. He let his head drop into the crook of her neck. She smelled mostly like the infirmary, sterile and clean. Rocking her gently, he tried to soothe her. "You're okay," he breathed against her neck. Jack closed his eyes, reveling in her presence, letting her essence fill his senses.

He tried to swallow the lump in his throat. Seeing Sam was emotional enough. Having her crying in his arms was even more difficult. It was a double whammy, almost too much for him to handle. But, he considered, it was better than the alternative.

"I missed you."

Involuntary shivers ran down Sam's spine as his confession tickled her neck. God, she'd missed him, too. All of them. But to hear him _tell_ her, that threw her. She wasn't expecting that kind of honesty. Though, she shouldn't be surprised by anything. For him, as far as she knew, he thought she'd been dead. How had that affected him? She couldn't imagine, but she was sure they had both changed very much in…how long had it been?

Jack didn't shift as he felt her tears, damp on his own skin. They were warm and only reinforced the fact Sam was alive and, for the most part, well. There was no audible weeping, just the silent sobs and quivering of her frail body.

"Shhh..." he whispered gently as he raised his head. Jack smoothed her hair, marveling at the length of the blonde strands. It was longer than Sam normally wore it, but not quite as long as he'd seen it on the alternate Sam. He liked it.

Sam rested her wet cheek against his shoulder, refusing to pull away. She wiped at her moist face, angry at her failing, but feeling some of her burden had been released. She shook as she tried to suppress the last few sobs, her head pounding worse now. Blinking the last of the tears away, she laid her hand on his arm.

Jack decided against saying anything. He stood silently in his awkward position. His leg and knee were beginning to twinge, but he wouldn't move until Sam did, and she seemed pretty content. After a few minutes, she finally moved back from him, yet she still hovered near.

Sam looked at Jack, her face bruised and damp. Her lips were turned into a frown, shaking somewhat, as if to keep from crying again. Watery eyes watched him closely. Slowly and cautiously, her hand reached up towards his face. Her fingers slid across his cheek, over the slight stubble. She almost seemed in awe of him. It was a mutual feeling. Sam let her fingers linger, her blue orbs searching his brown.

Jack kept his gaze on her. Her eye contact and physical proximity gave him the confidence to lift his own hand to Sam's face, returning her gesture. She turned away, almost shyly, not letting him touch her. Her thumb brushed across his cheek before she pulled her hand away as well.

A bit confused, Jack tried to make sense of Sam's actions. She had been plastered to him moments before, but now she didn't want him touching her. "I'm sorry," he apologized, his heart aching. He just wanted to be there for her, but seemingly, he didn't know how.

Sam didn't reply, nor did she look at him. She felt the sudden urge to be left alone. She was glad Jack was there, truly she was. But she was beginning to feel anxious with him so close. It was foolish, she knew. It was only Jack. But Sam didn't like people to invade her personal space.

Up until now, she'd not been able to control that aspect of her life. For however long Sam had been captive, she'd had no say in who did what to her when. She'd been used and mistreated like she was worthless. She could never refuse them. And even when she'd arrived at the SGC, she had not been able to refuse Janet.

While she'd relished Jack's embrace, her irrational fears were growing. Irrational though they were, they were almost ingrained in her. Fears of someone hurting her, using her. Someone too close, too personal. At the moment, she just wanted to be left alone, no matter how it hurt anyone else. It was self-preservation.

Sam sat back on the bed and leaned up against her pillow. Drawing her knees up, she refused to look at Jack. She didn't want to see the pain etched on his face. Sam could barely understand her own actions, let alone expect him to. She rubbed her throbbing head. Maybe he would leave and let her try and process this. Or perhaps he wouldn't. He could sit in the chair, she decided. She could deal with that.

Jack stretched as inconspicuously as he could, then sat in his chair. Sam didn't acknowledge him, so he figured it was all right with her for him to stay there. Admittedly, he was slightly wounded at her actions, but he couldn't blame her either. After all that had happened...no, he couldn't blame her at all. But even if she wanted to just sit there and ignore him, at least she was there to do it.

After a while, Jack was certain she'd forgotten he was in the room. She made no effort to communicate with him. Mostly she stared blankly ahead, her eyes darting around the room at any sudden noises from the hall. Jack's thoughts traveled back to the Jolinar incident. She'd been so withdrawn and vulnerable after that.

Jack witheld a sigh. If he were honest with himself, he knew this was going to be much, much worse.

TBC in 'Keeping Vigil'


	48. Keeping Vigil

Ch. 47 Keeping Vigil

"No, we can't. We shouldn't."

"She is resting. I believe we may."

"No, no. If we get caught…"

"Dr. Fraiser is not here."

"True…"

The hushed voices roused Jack from his light slumber. He hadn't even realized he'd dozed off. Sam had long ago fallen asleep and Janet had never moved him out of the room. Now he could hear Daniel and Teal'c arguing in the hall.

Jack chuckled lightly as he saw his bespectacled friend peer around the corner. He waved him in.

Daniel came forward, followed closely by Teal'c. Both sets of eyes were trained on the woman asleep in the bed.

"It's really her, isn't it?" Daniel breathed. He stood away from Sam, as if afraid to get too close. That maybe if he looked too hard, she would disappear like a mirage. Honestly, she looked horrible, but at the same time, she was absolutely gorgeous. He'd missed her so much. "It's incredible," he murmured. He supposed no one really could keep SG-1 down. First him, now Sam. It was amazing they were both there at that moment.

Teal'c smiled fondly at the sleeping form. Jack had to grin as well. It was rare to see that kind of emotion on his face.

"Is she well?" Teal'c wondered after taking in her appearance.

"As well as can be," Jack sighed.

"What is it?" Daniel asked, not taking his gaze from Sam. He could tell by Jack's tone something was bothering him. He knew what Dr. Fraiser had said concerning his female friend, but he didn't want to believe it. Not only did he not want to see Sam this way, it put a damper on what should be a joyous occasion.

"I don't know," Jack muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. "It's her, but…it's not. I don't know," he repeated.

"This was not unexpected," Teal'c reminded them. He was well aware how experiences with the Goa'uld and Jaffa could change a person. He'd been involved in some appalling activities himself as Apophis' First Prime. He, more than anyone, knew what Jaffa could be like. Especially when they were spiteful and full of revenge and hatred. In some way, he felt accountable, knowing his own brothers were responsible for Sam's torment.

Daniel glanced to Jack. "Did she talk to you? Say anything?"

"No. At first she was glad to see me. Then she kinda withdrew. But no, not a word."

"This will be a most difficult time, but it is surmountable," Teal'c told them, sage as ever. Daniel and Jack nodded in accordance. It would be. If they could endure losing her, they most certainly could survive this. The trio watched Sam, content, as she slept before them.

o-O-o

_Sam gasped as she hit the ground. Scrambling across the stony floor, she tried to get away from the Jaffa who had deposited her there, but she wasn't quite fast enough. What would it matter anyway? There was nowhere to go. She let out a strangled cry as he hefted her up by her hair._

"_You killed Le'nok. You will pay," he roared. His anger was clear. She had killed his friend. It had been self-defense, but none of them would ever see it that way. They'd never understand Sam had tired of his treatment and retaliated. She'd fought back before, but this was the one instance she'd actually gotten somewhere. At the time it seemed the thing to do, but in hindsight, she should have known she wouldn't get away with it. In the end it would just be another trip to the sarcophagus. _

"_No!" she cried, struggling. She didn't even try to reason. The Jaffa twisted her hair and Sam wished for the days when she hadn't had enough hair to grab. _

"_Kar'nel will take care of you. It is his brother you have murdered. I cannot wait to see you suffer," he mocked._

_Sam mustered her strength, kicking the Jaffa as hard as she could. It never had much of an effect with their armor, but he buckled slightly. Still, he didn't let go. He only laughed. _

"_Stupid Tau'ri woman. You amuse me."_

_Not replying, Sam grasped his arm, digging her fingernails into what little exposed flesh she could find. _

_His left hand still held her tightly by her blonde locks, but the Jaffa raised his right arm, still smarting from Sam's attack, and backhanded her. Sam winced, but tried not to let on he'd really hurt her. He raised his hand again, but stopped as two more men entered the room. "Kar'nel," he addressed the man in the lead._

_Kar'nel narrowed his eyes. "What trouble has she caused now?" he demanded. _

"_Le'nok is dead by her hand. I knew you would want to avenge him yourself." The Jaffa pushed Sam forward, towards the brother of the man she'd killed._

_Sam bit her lip, hard. She'd dug herself a hole, now she'd have to lie in it. She closed her eyes and waited for the first punch. Instead, she felt herself shoved against the wall and large hands encircle her throat. Sam's eyes popped open and she was face to face with a very livid Jaffa._

_He didn't say a word to her. Kar'nel tightened his hold on her throat. Sam reached out, trying the same tactic she had just moments before. But her nails had no impact on the armor that covered Kar'nel's arms. _

_Sam's fingers moved for his face, for his eyes, but her vision was beginning to swim. No air was getting to her lungs. She wasn't even sure why she fought anymore, when it didn't do her any good. Well, she thought, resigned, they'd never taken her life this way. _

_Just when things were going black, she heard an all too familiar voice. _

"_Kar'nel! Kree!"_

"_She has killed my brother, Mal'tek! My flesh and blood!" Kar'nel protested. "She must pay."_

"_You will get the vengeance you seek, but only I may have the pleasure of ending this one's life," Mal'tek reminded him. He looked at Kar'nel expectantly, waiting for him to release his hold on the woman. Finally, he let go and Sam fell to the floor, coughing and gasping._

"_Now," Mal'tek said, "you may have your revenge, but then bring her to me."_

"_I'd rather him kill me than go anywhere with you," she spat, still breathing heavily. _

_The First Prime bent down to her level, smiling haughtily. "I know," he replied. _

_He was so close Sam could smell his rancid breath, and as he leered at her, she could see the hole where his tooth should have been. Sam would have loved to take another one out, to give him a matching set. So she tried. _

_But Mal'tek was quicker this time. He grasped her arm, stopping it mid swing. "Pathetic!" he laughed._

_Sam glared at him. "Not so pathetic I can't kill your god," she taunted. She was so sick of him, of his belittling. Her words might only cause her more trouble, but they gave her at least some satisfaction. _

_Mal'tek's eyes narrowed and his hold tightened. "I will show you how pitiful you really are. You seem to have forgotten." He attempted to pull Sam to her feet, but she wouldn't cooperate. Mal'tek, not wanting to deal with her disobedience and his patience gone, twisted Sam's arm in a swift, quick motion. _

_Sam's cries of pain filled the room, echoing only seconds behind the sound of breaking bone. _

_Mal'tek would win this battle._

In her bed, Sam turned restlessly.

o-O-o

Janet peered into Sam's room. She would have been angry, but the tender sight before her warmed her heart more than infuriated her.

She hadn't wanted more than one visitor for Sam at a time, but she'd gotten wind that the three male members of SG-1 were keeping vigil over their teammate. Janet had gotten distracted when SG-8 had come in hot, the team in desperate need of medical attention. Now that was taken care of, Janet had come to check in on Sam.

Her patient was sleeping soundly, at least for the time being, as were her friends. Jack was in the chair closest to Sam. He was the most relaxed Janet had seen him in a long time. Daniel was next to Jack. His glasses had fallen to the tip of his nose and he was slouched in his chair, his hands folded across his stomach. Then there was Teal'c, who wasn't asleep at all, but appeared to be kel'no'reeming.

The doctor part of her didn't agree, but Janet didn't say anything to them. She would let the trio stay. Earlier she had gotten a glimpse of Sam and Jack, clinging to each other like each was the other's lifeline. It had completely stunned her. Sam had reacted in a very different way to him than she had with her. She supposed SG-1, especially Jack and Sam, had a bond she could never comprehend. Those three would be the ones to help Sam through this, in ways Janet couldn't.

She would leave them alone, and hopefully, the healing would begin.

TBC in 'Not an Easy Road'


	49. Not An Easy Road

Ch. 48 Not An Easy Road

"The Tok'ra have returned home and an urgent message sent to Jacob," Hammond informed SG-1. The general had called a briefing later that morning. An emotionally charged SG-1 sat around the table.

"Sir, if I may ask," Jennifer began, "what does this mean for me? I know Major Carter will take her place on SG-1 again."

"Lieutenant, we know nothing for sure. For now, you will keep your position on the team. It will be a long time before something is decided either way," Hammond assured her.

Jack tried to listen attentively to the conversation taking place, but his thoughts wandered back to the night's events. It was all completely unreal. Not possible. But Samantha Carter had taught him long ago that nothing was impossible. She'd rewritten the laws of physics to save his sorry hide. He couldn't do anything so spectacular, but Jack would do anything, anything at all, to make sure Sam would be all right.

His rank and name brought him back into the conversation. "Colonel O'Neill, I'm putting SG-1 off of active duty for the time being. There are other, more important things that need your attention now," the general said, looking pointedly at Jack, then to the rest of his team. His face softened, and all traces of General George Hammond melted away, replaced by George, a concerned friend.

"You've been given a great gift," Hammond told them, thoughtfully tapping his pointer finger on the table's glossy finish. "In some ways, I should have expected this. SG-1 has a way of beating the odds. But this won't be an easy road." His finger ceased its movement and he glanced up at the group. "I want Sam to overcome this. The only way that will happen is with your love and support."

Jack's throat constricted at the word love. Foolish though it was, he carefully avoided meeting anyone's eyes as Hammond continued.

"We have a special situation here. Under any other circumstances, SG-1 should have been split up. You're close, perhaps too close, according to certain members of our military. In some cases, this can be to a team's detriment. But I see this as an advantage. You have something unique, and it works. I can never truly understand what you all share, but use this to your benefit now."

He stopped speaking as Walter appeared at the top of the stairs. "Sir, Dr. Fraiser has requested SG-1's presence in the infirmary as soon as possible."

Hammond nodded briskly at his flagship team. It looked as though his words were about to be tested.

o-O-o

"What is it?" Daniel asked as they spotted Janet in the hall, apparently waiting for their arrival and agitated at that.

"Major Carter woke up a short while ago," she informed them as they headed toward Sam's private room.

"And?" Teal'c questioned, his arms linked behind his back. Though his demeanor remained calm, there was a rising fear something was wrong with his friend.

"She's disoriented and confused, most likely a combination of the aftereffects of her concussion and her current mental state. I'm not even sure she's entirely conscious, but she's not responding to me, and…" Janet paused as they came up on the room. "I can't calm her down," she told them in a quiet voice. "She's not showing any semblance of control or show of recognition, and she is a danger to others and possibly herself. I hope that since she reacted so well to Colonel O'Neill that maybe…" She sighed. "I don't want to have to sedate her."

Janet looked at Jack with pleading eyes. The absolute last thing she wanted to do was give Sam any other reason to fear her current situation. A prick from a needle and slipping into unwanted unconsciousness, that wouldn't build the trust they needed so badly to get back.

"Okay," Jack replied. His heart beat rapidly as he turned to Daniel and Teal'c. "Back me up if I need it. You…you were there, too."

They nodded in return. They had all been on the planet together. That gave them an advantage neither Janet nor Hailey had. Jack went into the room first, followed by Teal'c and Daniel, then by the two women.

Jack's eyes were immediately drawn to the bed, only to find a nurse there, tending to a bloody nose. Her own bloody nose. Jack's eyes widened in puzzlement. A small cry caught his attention and he spun towards the noise.

A flood of emotion hit him full force as he spotted his former 2IC. Knees drawn up and face hidden from view, Sam was pressing her body as tightly as she could into the corner. Another nurse stood nearby, obviously a bit exasperated, but not as irate as Sam was at her presence. Janet motioned her away, essentially giving Jack the go ahead.

For a second, he froze. What would he say? What would he do? How could he, Jack O'Neill, possibly make her calm down? Reassure her? Certainly in no way that would uphold a professional façade.

He briefly recalled how Sam had clung to him earlier that day. She'd been so needy and scared. So unlike the woman he'd known. But she'd also ended up pushing him away. Jack inhaled deeply, remembering Hammond's words and his own vow that he'd do anything for Sam. He wasn't sure he had what she needed, but he'd give it his best shot.

"Carter?" Yeah, that was it. She was used to him calling her Carter. No need to throw her for an unnecessary loop. Carter.

The blonde moaned slightly. Jack took a few steps forward and squatted down, close, but not too close. He didn't want to alarm her any more than she already was.

"It's me…O'Neill…ah…Jack." 'Colonel O'Neill' just didn't seem appropriate at the moment. Though, 'Jack' hadn't come out quite as confidently as he would have liked. Swallowing uncomfortably, Jack was quite aware of his audience. He dismissed it and decided to press on. "I'm here, and so are Daniel and Teal'c." He could see her shoulders relax somewhat. "You're at the SGC. Remember? You and I, um…do you remember when I came to see you?"

Sam didn't respond, at least not verbally. Her hand crept up, fingers clutching at her hair anxiously.

"Look, you're safe here. No one's gonna hurt you. Dr. Fraiser and the nurses just want to help you. They-"

"I'm not telling you anything!" Sam suddenly spat, finally turning so her face was visible.

Her actions weren't the only thing that caught Jack off guard. Hearing her voice again after so long nearly took his breath away. Then, as he saw her face, her eyes, Jack knew she wasn't lucid. He knew she saw him, but she wasn't really _seeing_ him. Her expression perfectly fit the definition of lost. All Jack wanted to do was hold Sam, to anchor her in reality. His hand inadvertently reached towards her.

Sam flinched even though he hadn't touched her yet. "Leave me alone," she whimpered. Sam shrank even more into the corner, her eyes still watching warily. "I will never tell you anything. Don't you understand?" Squeezing her eyes shut, she tensed, as if he were going to strike her for her defiance.

It hurt Jack so badly to see her this way. Just how far had Tisiphone taken it? Jack set his jaw. He already knew the answer.

Too far.

Jack drew his hand across his face, the stubble on his chin prickling him. "You don't have to tell us anything. Okay? None of that matters now. We're just glad you're back," he assured her.

Sam cautiously opened her eyes. "That won't work," she whispered. She adjusted her form somewhat, her worn body struggling to stay holed up in the corner.

"Carter, I'm not trying to trick you here. I won't make you do anything you don't want to. I swear," Jack promised. He hoped he was somewhat convincing. He didn't have the diplomacy skills Daniel did, but even if she doubted him, Jack meant every word.

Little by little, gauging her reaction, Jack extended his arm. Sam watched him like a hawk, but didn't make a move. When his hand was fully outstretched, Jack spoke. "It's me, Sam. It's us." Sam's eyes darted around the room, before settling back on Jack. "Come here," he coaxed softly.

The room was soundless as Sam contemplated Jack's offer. Then slowly, agonizingly so, she reached towards him with her left hand. She still cradled her tender right arm against her chest. Jack held his breath in anticipation, afraid any wrong move would send her back into hiding. At last, he felt her fingers brush across his palm and close around his hand. "There we go," Jack smiled, clasping her own hand gently with his.

Sam didn't meet his gaze as she extracted herself from the crook she'd been in. She swayed a bit as she stood to her feet and shied away from Jack as he moved to steady her. He caught her eye for a split second and he knew something wasn't right.

Before his brain could deduce exactly what that something was, Sam's hand left his and she was making a beeline for the door.

For freedom.

Teal'c moved to block her path. Sam skidded to a complete stop, taking in the imposing Jaffa before her. Her breath quickening, she turned the other way, only to find Daniel. Looking past him, her gaze settled on Janet leaning over a tray, something in her hand. Sam knew enough to know whatever the woman was doing, it wasn't good. Her fear driving her, Sam whirled around to face Teal'c and her only means of escape. He wouldn't be the first Jaffa she dared challenge, foolishly or otherwise.

Quickly, she rushed towards him. Teal'c stood firm, but as she approached, Sam ducked down below the arm that was blocking her escape. This took the large man by surprise and he hastily tried to cut her off. Teal'c would have caught her if her foot, almost slipping by as she fled past him, hadn't collided with his leg as he moved to stop her. Instead, she tripped, falling to the hard floor.

Jack, who'd been watching the events as if in slow motion, shifted into gear at Sam's cries. She rolled to her back, clutching at her shoulder. Jack brushed by Teal'c, hurrying to Sam. Her breath almost came in pants as she tried to shrug off the pain.

He knew she'd landed on her bad side. Jack bent down, trying to assess any damage. If she wasn't careful, she could easily aggravate her injuries. Sam wouldn't have it. Even in her discomfort she resisted his help and tried to get away.

Her shoulder and side were on fire, but she gritted her teeth, using her good arm to pull herself out of Jack's reach. She scooted until she had backed herself against the wall. She wasn't going anywhere and she knew it.

Jack hovered near Sam, shielding her. He could sense someone walk up behind him. It was Daniel.

"Hey, Sam. It's me, Daniel." The younger man didn't move past Jack. It was a good thing; Jack wouldn't have let him pass. "I know you're scared. But you have to calm down and believe us. I know you know us. Trust us."

His words fell on deaf ears. She wasn't completely there. Jack had seen Sam like this when Tisiphone had used the memory device on her. But this was different. There was no device affixed to her temple. Only past traumas and fears rising up, and a bewildered, weary psyche. Jack was certain she could snap out of it. He'd seen her coherent only hours earlier.

But Sam wasn't snapping out of it. She was as terrified as ever, her altercation with Teal'c exacerbating the situation. Jack wasn't angry with him. Teal'c had only tried to stop her. Had Sam gotten past him and into the SGC, she might have run into someone not so familiar or understanding. Though, at this point, it didn't seem to matter. They were all a threat to her.

"Sir."

Jack heard the tone of Janet's voice. It was an ultimatum. Either he got Sam under control or she would sedate her. He watched Sam's eyes widen. She knew something was up.

"Hey, Carter," Jack began calmly. "Let's just get you back in here. We can check out your shoulder and anything else that hurts. Then we can talk, okay?"

Sam shook her head furiously. "No…no….she…" Sam's eyes were locked suspiciously on Janet.

"She doesn't want to harm you, just help. She's worried about you. If you can't settle down, she'll give you something to help you do it," Jack explained softly.

"No…no!" Sam whimpered.

"I don't like the idea much myself," Jack admitted. "But there's not much else we can do if you're bloodying noses, shouting at us, trying to run away…see where I'm coming from, Carter?"

Sam didn't answer, her body heaving in pain and panic. However, one step from Janet sent her straight for Jack. He didn't hesitate in pulling her close, protecting her. Her body was rigid, unlike before when they'd so desperately held each other.

"Don't, please," she begged, almost sobbing. "Pl…please."

"No one's going to do anything. You're okay. You're okay," he whispered.

When he felt Sam shift away from him, Jack feared they were about to run in circles again. He loosened his hold slightly, and Sam pulled away until they were at arm's length. But she didn't run.

For the first time since Janet had called him to help, Jack could see comprehension in Sam's expression and clarity in her eyes. An awareness of where she was and who she was with.

"Oh, God…Colonel…" Her voice caught in her throat. She was struggling to make sense of her messed up world.

"Come 'ere."

Taking Jack up on the offer, Sam leaned back into his embrace. "I'm sorry…I'm sorry." She mumbled the two words over and over.

"None of this is your fault. None of it," Jack told her quietly, his own remorse intensifying. He would always shoulder some of the responsibility, even if he had come to realize he wasn't the sole person to blame.

Jack's words seemed to quell her fears momentarily, but when Sam started shaking, almost violently, Jack called out to Janet.

She was by his side within a few seconds. Her brown eyes surveyed Sam's quaking form, then looked to Jack. "Bring her to the infirmary," she ordered. She stepped past him, hurrying down the hall.

Jack lifted Sam into his arms, grunting slightly as his knees protested. Sam clutched at his BDUs, her eyes fluttering closed. Jack's heart ached. He knew what it was like to be tortured. He knew how it felt to be left behind. He knew what it was like to be so screwed up you didn't know which way was up and which way was down.

Hammond was right. This wouldn't be an easy road.

TBC in 'Avoidance Procedures'


	50. Avoidance Procedures

A/N: For those wondering about/waiting for Sam to interact with Daniel, Teal'c, Jacob, etc., those scenes are coming, I promise!

Ch. 49 Avoidance Procedures

Once again, Jack found himself rooted to Sam's bedside. The doctor had thankfully said she'd be okay. She hadn't aggravated her injuries much and she was still expecting a full recovery. However, they'd had to sedate her anyway. It had been the only way to quiet her. Janet had let him stay with Sam. In fact, she'd insisted on it.

Jack didn't know exactly why Janet wanted him with her. Though Sam had shown partiality towards him, she also had an inclination to pull away from everyone. Jack didn't know what would set her off or what would help her. He didn't know her state of mind. The woman before him was an enigma.

It had been less than 24 hours since he'd found out she was alive. In a way, he still felt he was living a dream. But even though he'd spoken with her, breathed in her scent, and held her tight, Samantha Carter still seemed so far away.

He watched as she slept, noticed the change in her breathing when she awoke, and was there to soothe her as she shot up, ramrod straight, in the bed.

"Whoa. It's okay, it's okay," Jack reassured her, scooting to the edge of his chair. He didn't get up so as not to startle her.

Sam's wild eyes danced around the room until they finally settled on him. "Jack?"

"Yeah, it's me." It didn't escape him she'd called him by his first name, but there were other things to dwell on at the moment. He gazed at her as she settled back against her pillow and closed her eyes. She was obviously in deep thought. A minute or so passed before she took a shuddering breath and her eyes reopened. She looked almost shocked when she noticed he was still watching her.

He didn't look away.

"You feeling better?"

A small nod.

"Do you need anything?" he asked. As cliché as it was, she could ask for the moon and he'd get it for her.

Sam opened her mouth, but nothing came out. Then she just shook her head.

Jack knew this was hard for her, readjusting. He'd had a difficult time when he came back from Iraq. It wasn't like you could come back home and forget everything, jump back into living the life you left. It just wasn't possible; he'd tried it himself. Jack was grateful Sara had been there to help him through it. He hadn't been the same after his captivity with Ba'al either. At that time, he'd had his team for support.

Sam lay quietly, sheets drawn up around her chest. Jack sat across from her, motionless. He waited for her to do or say something, but his presence no longer elicited a response from her. She seemed to silently reside in her own world, perhaps some place she had created out of self-preservation.

One day, she might be ready to talk about it. Jack had a feeling the military would start hounding her with questions and pressing her for answers before she was ready. Tisiphone was a military threat. They wouldn't see Sam as a woman who needed time and space to recover. They'd see a woman who could possibly provide them with key information. He'd do his best to keep them at bay. He knew Hammond would as well.

He continued to study her. Though Sam seemed to show indifference to his company, Jack was enthralled by hers. He didn't want to leave her side. He _needed_ to be there. Then the thought briefly flitted across his mind that maybe that's what _she _needed, to be alone. Perhaps she didn't need someone next to her, watching her.

Jack cleared his throat, but Sam didn't turn her head. He sighed inwardly. Maybe he did need to leave. He swallowed hard before he spoke. "I think I'll give you some time. Um…if you need anything, I'll be around. So will Fraiser." He waited for a response.

He got nothing in return, unless he counted her blinking. So be it. Giving her one last, long look, he moved for the door. Jack didn't know what she wanted or needed, but it was obvious she'd need to be the one to make the first move. He didn't want to be in the same crowd as those who would come in and pressure her into things she wasn't ready for.

"Stay."

Her strained whisper almost didn't make it to Jack's ears. He let his foot fall once more against the concrete floor before he came to a complete stop. Slowly turning on his heel, his eyes came into contact with Sam's. He couldn't quite read the expression, but his gut clenched. Anyway you sliced it, the woman in front of him was vulnerable, and it was difficult to see her that way.

Jack didn't step forward, not yet. "Are you sure?" His voice was gentle.

Sam's nod was so imperceptible, had he not been looking for it, Jack would have never seen it.

"Okay, then. I can stay a little while." Jack made his way back to his chair and settled down. He could feel Sam's eyes following him, but when he finally looked towards her again, she'd already diverted her gaze away.

Shifting, she drew her knees up against her stomach and with her good arm pulled the blankets securely over her body. Though she was now facing Jack, her eyes focused on some spot behind him.

Jack frowned. At times, it seemed as though she were purposefully avoiding eye contact. It was a clear sign something was wrong, and certainly there was. But it was something more than that, something deeper he was trying to pinpoint.

After a few minutes passed in complete silence, Jack made a decision. She obviously wanted him there, or else she wouldn't have asked him to stay. He chose to step out and break the quiet.

"When you're up to it, Daniel and Teal'c are really anxious to see you."

_There we go_, Jack thought jubilantly as Sam cast her gaze at him. He sent her a small, supportive smile. Her eyes were dull and emotionless and the grin almost fell from his face. Instead, Jack kept up appearances, not letting his expression waver.

"Your dad is coming as soon as he can," he told her, judging her reaction. She watched him for mere seconds before batting her eyelashes down.

Sam's heart beat rapidly in her chest. Her dad, Daniel, and Teal'c. All alive and well. A surge of joy raced through her, but it was soon suppressed. She couldn't face them, not now.

"Hey, it's gonna be okay." Propping his elbows on his knees, Jack leaned forward.

His words of encouragement didn't make Sam feel better. In fact, they made her heart drop. As much as she wanted to believe him, he didn't understand. Jack couldn't comprehend how much that planet had changed her, tainted her. If he knew what she knew, seen what she had seen, done what she had done, then he would know. He would know she could never be okay again.

o-O-o

Jack stretched, his body stiff from sleeping in the chair. Checking his watch, his eyes widened. It was 7 AM. For a man with restless tendencies, he couldn't believe he'd been sitting in the chair for as long as he had been.

He turned his attention to Sam. She lay mutely in her bed, sheets surrounding her and impassive eyes staring at nothing in particular. Essentially, not a thing had changed.

"Hey," Jack greeted her gently. "Did you get any sleep?" he wondered, knowing she probably hadn't.

Sam made no effort to answer him.

"Didn't the nurse give you something?"

Still nothing.

Jack withheld his sigh. Either she hadn't taken the meds, or they hadn't been effective. His friend's features were weary; she was drained. Even though she was safely at home, the memories that haunted her kept her awake at night.

Jack's stomach rumbled, reminding him he hadn't eaten in quite a while. "Are you hungry?" he asked. He didn't really expect an answer and wasn't surprised when he didn't get one. Jack then rethought the question. "How about I go get you some breakfast before the doc orders it?"

A small sigh escaped Sam's lips, which Jack took as a resigned answer to his query.

"Okay, I'll be back soon." As he exited the room, he couldn't help the little nagging thought that he was abandoning her.

Janet stopped Jack on the way to the commissary.

"I ran into Daniel and Teal'c a little while ago. Sam hasn't eaten much since her arrival, and I told them to get her something to eat."

"Fancy that, I'm heading to the commissary myself."

Janet smiled a bit before continuing. "Now, listen. Be careful and not crowd her. I didn't really approve of finding all of you in there the other night." Janet sent him a look and Jack cringed slightly.

"Yeah…sorry about that. But-"

"But I understand, Colonel. Just tread lightly, all right?" she told him, still shooting him 'the look'.

"Yes, ma'am," Jack replied gratefully. The last thing he needed was to be on Janet's bad side.

The doctor placed a kind hand on his arm. "Make sure she eats something," she ordered.

Jack nodded and headed on to the commissary, his mind wandering as he strolled down the hall. The simple task of getting Sam something to eat delighted him, causing a slight bounce in his step. Jack still couldn't quite comprehend the fact Sam was there. It was, in actuality, mind blowing. Yes, there were going to be trials; Jack felt that even breakfast would be a test. Still, he continued his trek towards his destination, resolute.

"Hey, Jack!"

Jack lifted his gaze and saw Daniel and Teal'c coming towards him, balancing two trays filled with enough food for four.

"Lieutenant Hailey is in her lab. She feels her place is not here," Teal'c told Jack, notifying him of Jennifer's location.

"She's not too comfortable with all of this. She feels like she shouldn't interfere," Daniel shrugged.

"Okay, well, this is a…strange situation." Jack cleared his throat. "So, whatcha got?" he asked, eyes raking over the trays.

The plates were piled with just about anything one could imagine. Breakfast meats, eggs, juices, hot and cold cereal, and fruit, among many other things.

"Dr. Fraiser hopes Major Carter will eat and gain strength," Teal'c told him.

"Yes. Um…speaking of Fraiser, she's not too happy with us at the moment. But all she said was to play it safe around Carter," Jack told them. Sam was very unpredictable at the moment, and they had to keep that in mind.

Jack took point and Daniel and Teal'c trailed after him. Poking his head into Sam's room, his heart leapt to his throat.

She wasn't there.

"Jack?" Daniel asked, peeking around his shoulder into the empty room. "Where'd she go?" There was a hint of nervousness in his voice.

Entering the room, Daniel and Teal'c set the trays down. "Where might she have gone in such a short time?" Teal'c asked, echoing Daniel's query. The covers were pulled back and Samantha Carter was nowhere to be seen. There was no place in the room to hide; she definitely wasn't there. And she certainly couldn't have gotten past the nurse down the hall unnoticed.

Jack looked at his friends helplessly. He had no clue. Then he saw Teal'c's lips spread into a wide grin. Perplexed, Jack followed his gaze back towards the doorway.

Sam stood with one hand on the doorframe, with the same confused expression on her face Jack knew they'd all just had on theirs. He let out a deep sigh. "Don't do that again," he muttered under his breath.

Taking a few steps, Sam came closer, watching them somewhat warily. "I..." She jabbed her thumb in the direction of the bathroom and showers.

"Oh…" Daniel said, realization dawning. They'd all just about freaked out over her using the restroom. They were all on edge. They'd just gotten Sam back and he knew they all feared losing her again.

Daniel noticed Sam's eyes on him. "Sam," he smiled, his voice warm. His heart went out to her. He'd missed her so much.

Three sets of eyes watched as Sam gently set herself back down on her bed. Slowly, Daniel approached. Sitting down in the chair previously occupied by Jack, he placed the food next to Sam. She looked at the tray, incredulous.

"Oh, ah, you don't have to eat it _all_," Daniel chuckled nervously.

Sam stared at the tray for a moment before picking up a grape and biting into it. She pulled the rest of the fruit away from her mouth and slowly chewed, savoring the sweetness of the small morsel.

Daniel watched her, gaze unwavering. Maybe Sam didn't realize just how special this moment was for him. She had been gone for so long, and here she was. All he wanted to do was hold her and tell her how glad he was she was home.

"Sam…" he began, but when she didn't acknowledge him, he paused. The hurt Daniel felt at her seeming indifference to him welled in his chest. Jack was right. It was her, but at the same time, it wasn't. He turned back to his friends. They both had knowing looks on their faces. Maybe it would be better if they all ate in the commissary and let her be.

"Well, I'll just let you enjoy your breakfast," Daniel smiled. He wasn't going to hover, and he wasn't going to be confrontational. Sam would come to him in her own time. He rose from the chair, and no sooner had he taken a few steps than he felt Sam rise up as well.

"Daniel?" she whispered, a sheen of tears glazing her eyes.

Daniel knew how hard it was for Sam to express her emotions on a good day, so he couldn't fathom what was going through her head now. She looked torn and indecisive. So vulnerable. Sam looked as though she wanted to talk, but wasn't quite sure how to go about it. So Daniel solved the problem for her and began to speak.

"I just want you to know that…that I'm glad you're okay," he told her earnestly. "And that if you need anything, anything at all, just tell me. I'll be-" He was soon cut off as Sam wrapped her good arm around him. No words were involved, just the action. Daniel gently hugged her back.

"Hey," he breathed in her ear, choking up slightly. She was warm and alive. Unbelievable. "I'm so glad you're okay," he reiterated. He closed his eyes and just held her. She didn't have to explain herself or say anything at all. Being there was enough.

o-O-o

Daniel crossed his arms when he reached the table Jack and Teal'c were sitting at. "Here you are." At some point the rest of his team had slipped out, leaving he and Sam alone. "What happened?"

"Looked like you two needed some time, so we gave it to you," Jack said as he scooped up the last of his scrambled eggs.

"I did not think Major Carter was prepared to see me," Teal'c stated truthfully. He thought it would be best if she approached him on her own.

"Well," Daniel said, sitting and joining them, "thank you." The time he'd just spent with Sam, though brief, had been quite meaningful.

They both nodded, accepting his gratitude.

"She eat?" Jack probed.

"Some," Daniel replied, somewhat distractedly. He didn't quite know how to make sense of what had just happened. For a brief moment, Sam had let him in. Then, just as quickly, she'd pulled away. She hadn't spoken one word beyond her initial calling out of his name. She'd eaten far less than Janet would have liked. Daniel hadn't pushed her in any way, yet by the time he'd left, Sam had hidden herself away beneath her blankets again.

The young archaeologist wasn't sure what to make of his friend and her current state. They'd all been there before, lost and confused. However, there was something else he couldn't quite put his finger on.

"I don't know what to think."

"About what, Daniel Jackson?" Teal'c pressed, although he had a feeling he knew what Daniel was troubled about.

"About Sam."

"I don't think even she knows what to think," Jack voiced his opinion. "I do know what _I_ think."

"And what's that?" Daniel wondered.

"That I'm scum for leaving her behind. At least that's what I keep telling myself," he muttered.

"Jack, we're not going to get into that again, are we?"

"Daniel, you said it yourself. You don't know what to think about Carter. She's different now. Why? Because of some bad choices that were made. No one's to blame for her condition but me."

"Okay, fine. You're guilty as charged. But if you're guilty, then so am I."

"I, too, am accountable."

Jack sighed. "Okay, okay," he answered, getting the message. He rubbed his hand across his face.

"Jack, she's not angry."

"Excuse me?"

"I think you're afraid she's mad at you. I know how you feel about what happened, we _all_ wish we could change things, but that woman in there," Daniel motioned, "doesn't blame us."

"And you know this how?"

"She's Sam. She knows you and knows you did everything you could. Jack, I just held her in my arms. Not because I asked her to or because she had no choice, but because she wanted to. She wanted me to be there. I don't know, maybe I'm wrong," Daniel confessed, "but when I was with her, I didn't feel any animosity. There were a lot of emotions, but not that one."

Jack simply shrugged.

"O'Neill, she trusts you. More so than anyone else," Teal'c told him. "You may continue to let guilt plague you, but that will not help Major Carter. When she begins to sense you are healing, she will begin to make progress as well."

Jack mulled over their words, but couldn't muster an answer.

"Sam is alive, Jack. Alive! When I was holding her, all I could think was that is so much more important than…." Daniel took a deep breath, as if gathering his emotions. "Than anything else."

Daniel had a point, Jack knew. How many times had he wished for Charlie back? What the man in front of him wouldn't do to see Shar're again. Jack was taken aback for a moment as he recalled the events surrounding Daniel's wife's death. If Daniel could forgive Teal'c, Sam could forgive him, right? They had the same character; they could certainly absolve Jack of things long before he himself could.

Jack nodded and stood to his feet. "Uh, I'll be in the infirmary if you need me."

Teal'c and Daniel watched as their friend dumped his tray and exited the room.

"He can be so difficult sometimes," Daniel mused, shaking his head.

Teal'c tipped his head in agreement.

"Indeed."

o-O-o

Jack studied Sam from the door, his heart constricting. She'd resumed her defensive position, curled in her bed as if she were trying to shield herself from the world. Everything Daniel had just told him seemed pointless. His heart ached for her and beat with distain for himself. He knew they couldn't have known she was still alive. But the fact remained she had been, and they'd left her. Had she known they were alive and well while she'd been prisoner? If she had, could she ever forgive them for leaving her behind? How could he ever forgive himself for deserting her there?

Jack decided to make his presence known. He felt as though he were spying on her. She deserved better than that.

As he walked around the bed, Jack's feelings did a complete turn around. He wished he hadn't walked in; he felt like an intruder. It was clear Sam knew he was there, but it was also apparent she'd had enough visitors for the day. He fumbled for the right words, trying to navigate through the awkward situation.

"I'm sorry." The admission surprised Jack as well as Sam. It had slipped out and he couldn't take it back. But he didn't need to. It was only the truth.

Sam's eyes snapped to his, finally paying him attention. For a second, her piercing gaze stopped Jack in his tracks. He had a feeling that would happen every time she looked at him for quite a while.

While Jack had never been good at apologies, there were some things he felt needed to be said. "We…we didn't know…" he stuttered. "I should have gone back."

"No."

Lifting his eyebrow in astonishment, he waited for Sam to finish her sentence. After a minute or so, he figured she wouldn't. "I left you behind," he stated. She had to get that. He'd broken a vow, a promise.

"No," she repeated. Sam turned her face into her pillow, looking away.

"Okay," Jack replied, clasping his hands. "Look, Carter, I'm trying to apologize here."

Sam shook her head in disagreement.

Jack frowned. This was the closest thing to a conversation they'd had since she'd been back, but she was saying all the wrong things. How could she look at him and essentially say it was okay?

He could be mad with himself. Jack could easily stew in self-hatred for the rest of his life. He could even handle the rest of the world despising him. But, admittedly, he did fear her abhorring him for what he had done. Even Daniel had picked up on that. He knew in his heart of hearts she didn't hold a thing against him. Even if Sam didn't say it in as many words, he knew she didn't. Jack dipped his head, letting his eyes fall away from her.

Sam exhaled, relieved when she felt him look away. Ever since he'd been on the planet with her, she knew that guilt had been eating away at Jack. That was how he was. He would worry until he was convinced she was all right. But that was something she simply didn't see happening. She couldn't convince him of something that wasn't true.

Sam cautiously shifted her gaze to her friend. He was looking to the ground, shuffling his feet. He didn't know what to do anymore than she did.

They were so screwed up, weren't they?

TBC in 'I Get By(With A Little Help From My Friends)'


	51. A Little Help From My Friends

Ch. 50 I Get By(With A Little Help From My Friends)

Sam stared blankly at the gray ceiling above her. As the hours passed, her mind was slowly beginning to clear; the realization she was actually home had mostly sunk in. But she still felt trapped by recent events in her life and by people who were light years away.

She didn't remember much from the last week. Sam was certain she'd spent months on Tisiphone's homeworld. Torturous days and sleepless nights had all started to blend together. Then, quite recently, Tisiphone had apparently tired of her and sent her to a mining planet. It had been harsh as well, only in a different way. The last thing she clearly remembered about being there was being caught in the collapse. The impact of the rocks, the dust filling her lungs, and the darkness overtaking her. She was actually surprised they had pulled her out of the rubble. Maybe Tisiphone hadn't forgotten about her after all.

Then had come the rescue. It couldn't have been long after. Everything had happened in a blur. It was confusing, even frightening. Then there was Jack.

Jack.

He had finally left. It wasn't that she hated Jack's almost constant presence, but at times it did make her uncomfortable. Her own personal fears wanted to keep him at bay, and the way he looked at her sometimes was unnerving. He would stare at her, as if entranced. Sam couldn't meet that gaze. Not after everything that had happened.

The complex emotions she was feeling at the moment only made her head throb even more. She had become so far removed from a normal life. From simple things, like a hot shower or a book to peruse, to the most multifaceted, like socialization and relationships. She would have to relearn how to relate to society. But she didn't want to. She didn't want anything to do with the outside world. She had created her own world to reside in, one that tried to protect her from outside influences that would harm her.

Still, that world was shaky at best. And she couldn't hide in there forever.

o-O-o

"Sam?" Janet knocked on the door. Sam had gone to the showers, and Janet knew she relished it after her time off world. Her friend usually took a good amount of time to complete the task, and Janet didn't mind, but this time Sam had been in there too long. "You okay?" she called through the door. There was no answer.

Janet had posted a guard at the door for Sam's safety and to ensure she got the privacy she needed. Now the doctor was beginning to worry, and she would have to invade that privacy. Janet nodded to the guard and opened the door just a crack. Steam greeted her.

"Sam? It's Janet. I'm coming in."

When she once again received no reply, she made her way into the room. She followed the sound of the shower to the stall Sam occupied.

"Sam?"

Janet could hear the running water, but no answer from Sam. She cautiously pulled back the curtain. Water droplets misted Janet, but the dampness didn't deter her.

"Sam?" she pressed gently.

The water was going full force, the blistering spray pounding against Sam's bare skin. It cascaded over her as she stood with her arms wrapped around herself. The tensing of her body indicated Sam was aware of Janet's presence.

They both stood in silence until Janet called Sam's name once more. In return, Sam whispered something that could barely be heard.

"So….dirty…"

Janet shook her head at Sam's words. "No, honey, no," she assured her. The taller woman's skin was red from the hot shower and from where she had obviously been scrubbing.

Sam didn't seem to agree with Janet's assessment. She turned her face upwards, into the stream of water. The warmth of the liquid didn't seem to bother her.

Renewed concern crossed Janet's face. "Let's get you out of here."

When Sam didn't put up a fight, Janet reached past her and shut off the water. She quickly grabbed the towel from its place on the bench and wrapped it around her friend.

"Can't…get…clean…" Sam muttered as Janet carefully helped her from the stall.

"Sam, you're so clean you're practically a prune," Janet guaranteed her. She helped Sam sit, making sure the towel still covered her adequately. She grabbed another for Sam's hair; the blonde strands were dripping water everywhere. After successfully wrapping her head, Janet bent down in front of Sam.

"What happened?"

Sam shivered slightly, her body adjusting to no longer being in the shower. She shrugged in response to Janet's inquiry.

Janet nodded. She would never be able to understand what Sam had gone through. And she had no doubts that Sam still felt filthy, not only on the outside, but on the inside as well.

"We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. But I'm always here for you, if you need me," Janet promised her. "You don't have to do this alone."

Sam didn't give any indication she'd heard a word she'd said.

"Let's get dressed and we'll redo your bandages," Janet went on. "We need to be careful with that shoulder, too," she told her. Heat would be beneficial during this stage of healing, but Sam had overdone it.

Janet watched Sam carefully. Though she didn't voice it, Janet feared Sam wasn't completely in control. She was emotionally distressed. The woman in front of her probably couldn't explain why she'd just spent so long in a steaming hot shower. She might not even realize so much time had passed. More than likely, she was just as confused about what was going on as Janet was.

o-O-o

Janet let out a sigh as she settled in her office chair. She'd finally gotten Sam situated. It had been quite a task getting the introverted woman squared away. Janet let out a yawn. She'd definitely sleep tonight. And if Sam's meds did the trick, she would, too.

"Mom!"

Startled, Janet sat up straight. "Cassie!"

"Can I see her?"

Janet had called her daughter the day before with the good news. As soon as things had calmed down in relation to Sam's return, Janet had talked to Cassandra and explained the situation to her.

"First, I want you to sit down," Janet said, motioning to the seat across from her. She wasn't sure she was ready to deal with this, but Janet didn't have much choice.

"It's okay, Mom. I'm not missing anything important. Finals aren't until next week and-"

"Cassie, that's okay. I know you're handling that."

"What is it then?" Cassie prodded.

"You know how I told you Sam's having some…difficulties?" Janet asked lightly.

"Yes," the teen nodded, remembering.

"She's had a tough day, and I'm not sure she's ready for any more visitors," Janet relayed. And it was true. Sam needed some time alone.

"But Mom!"

"I know how badly you want to see her, but she's having a hard time now," Janet explained gently. This wasn't so different than after Jolinar and the depression Sam had gone into. But Cassie hadn't been a headstrong teenager then.

"Can I just see her? I don't have to talk to her or anything. I just want to see her," Cassie pleaded.

Janet took in the desperate look Cassie was sending her direction. She sighed. "Just a peek," she relented.

Cassandra hopped up and threw her arms around her mother. "Thank you!"

"Ah!" Janet warned. "A peek and only a peek."

"I know. Now come on!"

The two women headed towards Sam's room. Cassie didn't stop and chat with anyone like she typically did. She was on a mission and she was going to stick to it.

When they arrived, Janet peered in first. Sam was in her bed, eyes closed and apparently asleep. The coast was clear. Janet waved Cassie over.

The younger woman gasped, her hand flying to her mouth. "Oh, Mom…" she whispered as she took in Sam's sleeping form. "I can't believe it."

Janet smiled softly. "I know," she empathized. She could see the tears shinning in her daughter's eyes. She knew Cassandra had probably spent the last day imagining what this moment would be like, but nothing could prepare you.

They both kept their eyes trained on Sam until she emitted a low moan and rolled to her side. Janet tapped Cassie's shoulder. Time was up.

Cassandra didn't argue and followed Janet into the hallway.

"Thank you." Cassie's voice was full of gratitude. Both knew the brief moment hadn't been much, but it had been enough. "Maybe when finals are over, I can come by again? Bring the chess board?"

Cassie sounded hopeful, but Janet couldn't muster the same optimism. "We'll see," she replied.

It might not have been the answer Cassie wanted to hear, but Janet wasn't going to change her mind. When she felt Sam was prepared to see her, she would let Cassie come by. Until then, they had to focus on helping Sam get to that point. When she would get there was anyone's guess.

o-O-o

_Weak!_

No, she wasn't! She'd fought with every ounce of her being.

_Pathetic woman!_

Being a woman there was a disadvantage. They could use it against her.

_You cannot save yourself._

Hope of escape slowly began to fade away, until it was something only in dreams.

_I own you._

Each day they'd demonstrated their power over her. She would learn to submit and obey; that was the objective of all they did.

_I control you._

They had broken her spirit. She could continue to protect the secrets of Earth and its allies, but she could not protect herself.

_You are nothing!_

She believed them.

The taunts of Jaffa echoed through Sam's mind. They haunted her dreams, and even when she awoke they plagued her. Janet had given her something to help her sleep, but Sam hadn't taken it. Janet would be angry if she found out she wasn't taking all of her meds, and she probably wouldn't understand. It was silly, but she wanted to fall asleep on her own terms, not have something do the job for her. Sam had already stubbornly decided she would sleep when she felt like it, not when someone dictated she should. The issue was control, and Sam was trying so hard to get it back. Besides, sleeping pills had never been that effective on her, even more so after Jolinar.

Sam had gotten some rest while she'd been back on Earth, but she had long ago become accustomed to getting little to no sleep at all. She wondered if they'd even notice she wasn't resting sufficiently. They probably would, in a few weeks when the circles under her eyes hadn't cleared up. But as far as Sam was concerned, the dark splotches had become permanent features.

In the stillness that came during the night hours, it wasn't difficult for Sam to pick up on the sound of someone approaching. Closing her eyes, she pretended to be asleep. It wasn't the click of Janet's heels, but more the sound of standard issue SGC boots. The steps weren't Teal'c's large ones, so it stood to reason the only others it could be were Daniel or Jack. Sam had a gut feeling it was her former CO, and the voice that followed confirmed it.

"Who are you trying to fool, Carter?"

She could try and keep pretending, but Sam knew she was busted. As soon as he'd spoken, Sam knew Jack had picked up on minute changes in her demeanor. If he hadn't been sure before, he was now.

Opening her eyes in defeat, Sam felt slightly embarrassed. On the other hand, what was Jack doing in her room? It was well past midnight.

"I've been able to tell when you're asleep for years," Jack confessed.

He had her figured out, didn't he? Sam hoped he wouldn't mention this to Fraiser. Neither one of them would be very happy about this.

"Don't worry, I won't tell Fraiser."

He was a mind reader, too.

Sam could feel Jack's eyes boring into her. Even in the darkened room, she didn't dare look at him.

"I couldn't sleep either. Found myself here," Jack shrugged. "I know you don't exactly want me around, but, ah, I was just gonna…" Jack silenced himself, not sure what to say.

Sam nodded. He'd just come to check up on her, but couldn't quite admit it. It was a kind gesture. He'd done a lot of 'checking up' on her lately.

"The nurses don't come around as much at this hour and you might need something. Uh…magazine? Laptop? Book? Yoyo?" Jack asked, trying to lighten the situation, as usual.

Sam shook her head.

"I knew that," Jack smiled tightly. Sam never needed anything. "I'll get going then. And _try_ to sleep," he admonished gently.

Sam's heart began to thud. Suddenly the thought of Jack leaving became disconcerting to her. She wanted him there. Not to engage in any kind of communication, but to simply be there. His presence had chased the mocking of countless Jaffa from her thoughts, even if only for a while.

She knew her lack of eye contact and the silence she kept gave no indications to the man next to her that he was wanted. Sam was trying so hard to keep everyone at arm's length, to only let them in when she chose. It had left her quite alone, and right now, that was something she didn't want.

She didn't want to be alone.

Jack was almost to the door. Sam had to do something. Pushing all of her tumultuous emotions aside, she called what had, to her, become his name.

"Sir?"

He turned towards her.

Sam forced herself to look into his eyes. Too much eye contact would give him an opportunity to figure out things she didn't want him to know. They'd always communicated so much without words. He would read her like a book, given the chance.

Diverting her gaze, Sam stared intently at the chair next to her.

Jack seemed to get the message as he came back to her bedside. He appeared to be either rather surprised or pleased; maybe it was a mixture of both. But he settled down in his normal chair and Sam breathed an internal sigh of relief.

She didn't know how long Jack sat there, quietly respecting her need for space, yet being there for her at the same time. Sam didn't know how long she lay there, staring at the idle heart monitor across the room. She didn't even realize when her eyes began to droop. Sam only came back around when Jack spoke. His voice was hushed, barely audible.

"I know I can't make the nightmares go away, Sam. I wish to God I could, but I can't."

Sam's fuzzy mind took this in. Jack might think he couldn't help keep the bad dreams away, but in actuality, he was the only one who had ever been able to do it.

TBC in 'Friend or Foe?'


	52. Friend or Foe?

Ch. 51 Friend or Foe?

"Unscheduled off world activation!"

Walter's voice filled the SGC, announcing an unexpected visitor. Except this particular guest had been expected, for five days now.

"Jacob!" Hammond exclaimed as the Tok'ra marched down the ramp. "What's taken you so long?"

"I was on a mission. I got here as soon as I could!" Jacob replied, somewhat bewildered at Hammond's agitation.

The general's eyes narrowed. "Do you have any idea why we've sent for you?"

"No," Jacob answered, still confused. "What's going on, George?"

"Come with me," Hammond ordered. Things were about to get interesting.

o-O-o

"You're telling me the Tok'ra failed to mention to Jacob his daughter was found alive?" Jack asked in utter disbelief.

"He had no idea. When I told him…" Hammond shook his head. The range of emotions he'd seen displayed by Jacob Carter had been nothing short of extraordinary.

"So much for Tok'ra dependability," Jack said, his tone derisive.

"That has been lacking as of late," Hammond agreed. "But we can only hope this last mission will do something to repair past damages."

"Doubt it," Jack shrugged.

Hammond pursed his lips. "Jack, how do you think she's doing?"

The mood of the conversation had quickly changed. It had just turned very personal.

"As well as can be expected, sir."

The truth was, Jack wasn't sure how she was doing. She was so quiet. She hadn't said much beyond what she absolutely had to. Though she'd reached out to he and Daniel, Sam was only letting them in for fleeting moments. Jack hated to think it, but emotionally, Sam was all over the map. He was also pretty sure Hammond was seeing through his lame answer, but his boss didn't press the issue.

"Colonel, I think Jacob will be staying on Earth for a few days. Why don't you make sure he's got some guest quarters?"

"Yes, sir."

An unexpected twinge of jealously ran through Jack. Sam had her father now. He would be there to comfort her and sit with her. He would be the one she went to.

What would Sam need him for?

o-O-o

Jacob sat by his daughter's bedside. He was amazed at the sight in front of him. He hadn't spoken with her yet. She'd been sleeping since he came in, and he didn't have the heart to disturb her. But that was all right. It gave Jacob a chance for things to sink in.

When he'd been called back to Earth, he'd had no clue this was what was awaiting him. Why his fellow Tok'ra hadn't told him the details when they'd relayed the message was beyond him. Jacob couldn't hold a grudge at the moment though, not when his daughter was alive.

He could somewhat imagine what Sam's life had been like as a prisoner thanks to Selmak's insights, but he wouldn't ever truly understand. Whatever had occurred during the last year had obviously had a major impact on his child. Sam had bounced back from so much in her life. He wanted to believe she would come back from this one hundred percent. But how much could she go through before it was too much? Before she finally broke?

In the silent room, it wasn't difficult for Jacob to pick up on the quiet mumblings his sleeping daughter was making. He leaned in, trying to decipher her words. It was soon evident she was repeating the same thing over and over. Then it became clear to Jacob what word she was calling out.

"Jack…"

Jacob drew back in surprise. The frown on his face deepened as Sam's sleeping form began to turn restlessly. Nothing, however, prepared him for what came next.

Screams. Terrifying, spine chilling screams.

Jacob stood rooted to the spot as Sam's shrieks filled his ears. He had never heard such unsettling cries. She thrashed about, kicking at her sheets, fighting against the unseen.

Selmak kicked him into gear, and Jacob moved towards his daughter. "Sam. Sam!" He could barely hear his pleas over Sam's constant screams. Fear coursed through him, the fear of a helpless father. "Sam!" He grasped her arm with his hand, shaking her as if to wake her.

Her wails still sliced through the air, louder and more agitated.

The commotion brought a nurse running in, with Janet not far behind. "What's going on?" she asked, startled at the horrific sight before her. "A dream? A flashback? Sam? Sweetie?"

Jacob didn't know what to say. All he could see was his daughter fighting her demons. The pain etched on her face, the tears running down her cheeks, the violent tossing of her body.

"Jack," he mumbled.

"What?" Janet asked as she moved quickly to the bedside.

"Get Colonel O'Neill!" Jacob ordered the nurse. He couldn't quite explain why, but he had a feeling that Jack would be able to help.

Janet nodded, surprising the Tok'ra with her agreement. The nurse bustled out of the room, charged with her task. Janet untangled Sam's legs from the bed sheets, pushing them aside.

"Sam, can you hear my voice?" The petite doctor desperately tried to anchor the woman in reality. "It's Janet. Your father is here, too."

"Right here, Sam," Jacob chimed in, although he was sure his voice had no calming effect. It was shaking.

The screams had subsided into cries and weeping.

"You're on Earth. Just open your eyes. You're in a nice, soft bed. Can you feel it?" Janet had to ground Sam in the present. She knew in her mind Sam was off world, still a prisoner. Janet's eyes darted to the pitcher of water next to the bed. Fortunately, Sam hadn't overturned it. She dipped her hand into the cold water.

"Sam, I'm going to touch you, right here on your cheek. Tell me if you can feel anything." Janet pulled her hand out of the water and pressed her palm to Sam's flushed cheek.

Sam yanked away, startled.

"Good." Janet felt a surge of hope as Sam's eyes slipped open. They scanned the room briefly before they shut again.

"Leave me alone," she sobbed.

"Sam," Jacob started.

"Leave me alone! Leave me alone!" Sam's voice became higher each time she repeated the phrase, until it was shrill and piercing.

Jacob stepped away from his daughter's bedside. Where was Jack?

o-O-o

The nurse had barely finished her sentence before Jack was gone, rushing towards Sam's room. His mind ran through all the possibilities, none of them good. He could hear her long before he saw her, crying, fighting, and distressed.

Not again.

"What is it?" he asked breathlessly, coming to a stop by Janet. He noticed Jacob had backed off considerably.

"Flashback, I think."

Jack grimaced. He wasn't a stranger to those. "What can I do?"

"Talk to her."

Jack swallowed hard, hastily trying to think of something to say. He said the first thing that came to mind.

"Carter."

Sobs racked her body as she clung to her pillow.

"Carter," he repeated, louder this time. He kept the gruffness out of his voice; he wasn't barking an order.

Sam's tear streaked face turned towards his voice. "Sir?" Her voice quivered as she tried to control herself.

"Yeah," Jack replied, sitting on the edge of the bed. Her hand reached out and Jack didn't hesitate in accepting it.

"He's here."

"Who?"

"Mal'tek." The name was whispered, dread permeating every syllable. Her grip tightened.

"No, Carter. You're on Earth, remember? He can't hurt you here," Jack reminded her softly, keeping all anger out of his voice. What had the Jaffa done to her? Jack didn't think he'd ever seen Sam so frightened. With his free hand, he gently smoothed back her hair, damp from her tears.

Sam's eyes opened slightly, pale blue peeking guardedly out from beneath the lashes. "I sense him. I can _feel_ him."

Jack's brow furrowed. He looked to Janet, who was staring at Jacob.

"Jacob, can I see you for a moment?" Janet walked towards the door, indicating that the older man should follow.

Janet positioned herself at the entrance where she could still see Sam, but also talk to her father out of view. "As I told you when you arrived, Sam is…different. She's got the symptoms of someone who's been severely traumatized. And I hate to say it, but you may have been the trigger for her flashback."

"My symbiote," Jacob said knowingly. "I should have known," he shook his head.

"It's not your fault. That may not have even been the reason. We don't know for sure," Janet told him.

"Well, it sounds pretty plausible to me. I freak my daughter out. That's just great," Jacob sighed, rubbing his forehead. Whether Jaffa, Tok'ra, or Goa'uld, they all had symbiotes, and right now Sam wasn't differentiating between them. She only knew what she felt, and it was terrifying her.

"Just give her a little time. Let her mind clear. I know she'll be happy to see you." Janet wished she could be confident that Sam would warm up to her father, but she couldn't be. She peered back into the room. Sam was sitting up in the bed, wrapped tightly in a blanket. Jack was speaking quietly to her, their hands still intertwined. Janet remembered a time when she would have never seen such a compassionate act between the two, but much had changed in a year.

She noticed Jacob was watching as well. He was focused on the two individuals in the room, unable to tear his eyes away. Janet couldn't tell if the scene infuriated him or not. She had been quite aware for a while now of the feelings between the two, but she wasn't sure how much Jacob knew.

"She was calling for him."

"Excuse me?" Janet asked, not sure she'd heard correctly.

"Sam was calling for Jack earlier. In her sleep…her dreams," Jacob told her. There was no anger or disapproval evident in his voice.

Janet nodded. "They've formed quite a bond over the years. Especially while they were on Olympus. I can't say I understand exactly what's going through her mind," Janet said honestly. "But her connection with the Colonel has been very apparent since she's been back. Daniel, too, to a certain extent, but Colonel O'Neill is the only one she's really let in."

"They were there with her," he replied. "They protected her there." Jacob let out a sigh. Even now, Jack was protecting her more than he ever could. He hadn't been much of a father in Sam's formative years, nor was he always there to watch her back now.

"In situations like this, the person having a flashback needs to feel safe. Whether it's being wrapped securely in a blanket, or," she paused, motioning to Jack and Sam, "being with someone who makes them feel safe."

Jacob glanced at Janet in understanding. Then he asked the question that was on his mind.

"Do you think she has PTSD?"

Janet wasn't shocked at the inquiry. The stress disorder had crossed her mind as well. "The base psychiatrist will be the one to determine that. Right now we just have to help her cope."

How Jacob was going to do that was the question. He couldn't even step in the same room as his daughter without frightening her. He would not soon forget the hair-raising screams. Jacob wanted to make it better, like any father would, but he had quickly come to the conclusion he had no idea how.

TBC in 'Ruminations'


	53. Ruminations

Ch. 52 Ruminations

"Mind if I sit here?" Jacob Carter asked as he came across Teal'c sitting alone. The commissary was sparsely filled at this hour.

"I do not," Teal'c replied. Though he was nearly done eating, he could sense Jacob needed someone to talk to.

"Thanks." The Tok'ra sat down heavily in the chair, with a sigh to match.

Teal'c understood why the man was so downhearted. Until he reconciled with his daughter, this would continue. He could relate to what Jacob was dealing with.

"Major Carter is also not comfortable with me."

Jacob raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"I am Jaffa," Teal'c simply stated.

"But you're her friend."

"That does not matter. I am still Jaffa. Those I once called brothers committed horrible atrocities against her. I keep my distance because I fear she will not see me as her teammate and friend, but as another Jaffa who would harm her. Not long ago, I would have been one of them," Teal'c sadly relayed. "Major Carter is struggling with you in the same way."

Jacob grimaced. "I know. I think that maybe if I hadn't frightened her so badly…"

"You could not have known that would happen."

"Maybe I'm thinking too rationally, but I'm her father. I'm not…him." Jacob couldn't bring himself to say the Jaffa's name. "I just wish she could look at me and see _me_."

"Indeed, but she can sense your symbiote. The way your presence makes her feel reminds her of her captivity. I am fortunate to no longer have a symbiote."

"Ah, so you won't be the lucky one triggering a flashback."

Teal'c wasn't so positive. In most ways, he was nothing like the man who had been the cruelest to Sam on that planet. However, there was one similarity they, as First Primes, shared. It was something that could just as easily set Sam off. He wished he could rid himself of the golden emblem on his forehead and everything it stood for.

"I would not be so sure, Jacob Carter. I find it best to let Major Carter approach me in her own time. Perhaps you should do the same," Teal'c advised.

"You're probably right. I don't want to upset her again. Whenever she's ready," Jacob nodded in agreement. "I just wonder how I'm going to explain all of this to her brother," he mused.

Jacob hoped the Air Force was coming up with a good cover story, because Sam's return couldn't stay a secret forever.

o-O-o

Jack wiped the sweat from his brow. The gym had been a good way to let out some of his frustrations. Apparently, it had been the same for Daniel as well. The younger man set down his weights.

"Done?"

"Yeah."

The two headed for the locker room to grab a few things before they hit the showers. Daniel cast a sideways glace at Jack, trying to read him. He had been unusually silent.

"So…" he ventured.

"So what, Daniel?" Jack replied, a certain sharpness to his voice.

"So how's Sam?" he asked as casually as he could. He'd been surprised Jack hadn't mentioned her, especially after what had happened earlier.

"We've been working out for an hour together and you're just now asking me this?" Jack suppressed the urge to roll his eyes.

"Sorry. It just seems like a touchy subject for you," Daniel replied. The truth was, Sam had always been a sensitive subject for Jack.

Jack leaned against the lockers. "Not touchy," he disagreed, even though he knew Daniel was more in the right than he was.

"Then why'd you snap at me?"

"Just a little stressed is all."

"You're worried about her."

Jack crossed his arms. "Yeah. I am." He trained his dark eyes on Daniel.

Daniel took Jack's honest answer as an okay to proceed. "Are you going to stay with her again tonight?"

Jack's eyes narrowed for a second, perhaps wondering how he knew. "Jacob's arrival really shook her up." It wasn't a yes or no answer, but it was satisfactory.

"I heard about that."

Jack leaned his head back against the cool metal. "God, Daniel. I've never seen her so…" He let out a deep breath, clearly troubled.

Daniel nodded, swallowing hard. It was difficult seeing Sam like this. She was always in control, always able to be the strong one.

Jack cleared his throat. "So, any word on how Tisiphone's taking us busting Carter and the Tok'ra out?"

"Ah, no. But I bet she's pretty ticked."

"Ya think?" Jack replied dryly.

"Chances are she doesn't know who exactly ambushed her men, but word does get around." Daniel set his glasses in the locker. "I hope she doesn't decide to retaliate. She's got Ba'al in her corner now. Things could get nasty."

"I don't even want to think about it," Jack groused. "I'm more worried about getting Carter back on her feet."

"Well, I told Janet I'd take Sam her dinner tonight. I'm going to head over after my shower," Daniel informed him.

"Good, cause you reek." Jack slammed his locker door, and with a slight smirk, was gone.

Daniel just shook his head and smiled. "So do you, my friend. So do you."

o-O-o

The SGC had a certain feel. Sometimes it felt damp, it was cool, and it even had a particular smell. You knew you were underground.

Sam hated being underground.

She disliked being in this room, even. The walls were bare, her surroundings dreary. She was trapped in this room, in this bed. It was like a prison.

Sam hated prisons.

She rubbed her head. Sam had never had as many headaches as she did these days. Perhaps the prolonged use of the hand device had lasting effects, or maybe she'd had one too many concussions. She didn't know, but the medication Janet had given her had barely taken the edge off.

No matter how much her head pounded, Sam wasn't a bit tired. She was wired, on edge. Ever since…

When Jack had told her it had been her father in the room, not Mal'tek, she'd started crying. They were tears of guilt and frustration. How could she mistake her father for someone so vile? Her own father? She'd sensed a symbiote and she'd flipped. It hadn't even been something she could control.

Jack had tried to comfort her, assuage her remorse, but it didn't work. And he couldn't convince her to let her dad back in the room.

Her senses had been on fire, her emotions churning. She wasn't prepared to see her father, for so many reasons. Jack had stayed with her. She'd held onto his hand like a lifeline, the only thing keeping her from losing it again.

Sam grimaced. What had happened to her? When had she become so weak? When had she been reduced to this? It had been sometime in that underground prison.

She felt like a stranger in her own body. Every test Janet could run would say she was Samantha Carter, and by outward appearances, she was. But she'd changed since her imprisonment, and arriving back at the SGC had made that glaringly obvious. She couldn't be the person she'd been when she'd left. She couldn't be the major who saved the world. She just didn't feel like soldiering on like she had so many times before. The inner desire to fight and get her life back was faint. They'd beaten, battered, and broken her and she wasn't sure she could regain what they'd taken away.

But maybe somehow, beneath the shattered remains of her spirit, a spark would ignite. Maybe it hadn't been entirely snuffed out. And maybe somehow, she'd be okay.

o-O-o

Hammond tapped his pen against his office desk. He glared at the phone, daring it to ring. He'd spent the better part of the day on it, calling off the hounds.

It seemed like everyone wanted a piece of Samantha Carter. How had she survived? What did she know? Did she have any information beneficial to the fight against the Goa'uld? When would she be available to speak with? He thought the stream of questions would never end.

No one was coming to harass the major, at least for a while. With the help of a certain petite doctor, Hammond had managed to keep them away. Sam was not in any condition to answer their questions, and assailing her with their inquiries would only impede her recovery. When she was well enough to be of any help, he would let them know. It had pacified them, but it wouldn't for long.

Hammond had also spoken with Dr. MacKenzie. The general categorized him with the officials he'd dealt with earlier. He had wanted to know when Sam would begin therapy. Hammond knew it was inevitable that she would have to see the psychiatrist. But not now. She wouldn't talk to anyone, not even her closest friends. What did the doctor think would happen during any session he might have with the young woman? Hammond feared she would shut down even more. Whether it was a doctor or someone else, anyone bombarding the already overloaded major would only worsen the situation. He'd told MacKenzie his reasoning, and the doctor had relented.

Everyone wanted too much too fast. Men in their comfortable, safe offices couldn't understand what Hammond's men and women faced daily in the field and, God forbid, if they were captured. MacKenzie seemed more sympathetic, having worked with SGC personnel in the past. But it wouldn't be until they stepped through the gate and were faced with a Goa'uld, a legion of Jaffa, or their own mortality that they would ever have a clue. Reading a report wouldn't do. They couldn't grasp the hell Samantha Carter had gone through from a typed account sitting on their neatly organized desks.

They would all have to wait. He didn't care how long it took, Hammond wasn't going to allow them to traumatize Sam more. And he knew not another soul on the base would stand for it either. They had come together, ready to assist in any way possible. He tenderly smiled at the item on his desk.

The fragrant arrangement included a beautiful array of flowers; tulips, lilies, and roses were among them. The different hues, ranging from a deep red to the purest white, were vibrant. The card next to it was larger than most, but held the get well wishes of most, if not all, of the base. It had taken a few days to gather the signatures, and writing was scrawled in every available space, but they'd done it. Hammond leaned in and inhaled.

It was time to make a delivery.

TBC in 'Getting Somewhere'


	54. Getting Somewhere

Ch. 53 Getting Somewhere

Sam stared at the clock, watching the second hand tick, its motion continuous. She appreciated having it blatantly telling her the time instead of having to guess. There was a time she would have been restless in the infirmary. She would have begged for her laptop or her notes, anything to keep her entertained. Now her thoughts consumed her, keeping her mind quite full.

Her eyes flitted to the flowers by her bed. The general had brought them by the day before. They were much nicer to look at than the timepiece on the wall. It had taken her hours to open the attached card, not sure she could take the compassionate messages inside. Finally, curiosity had gotten the best of her. Sam had only been able to read a small portion of the card before her emotions overwhelmed her. Still, the gift had helped bolster her weary soul.

A slight noise caught her attention and her eyes snapped to the door. She only caught a glimpse, but Sam knew who it was. For a moment unease gripped her, but then she pulled back her covers and set her feet on the cold floor.

"Teal'c?" The name came out meekly.

Sam didn't think he'd heard, but she soon saw the Jaffa at the door. Nervousness darted through her body. Her eyes ran across his large, imposing form, then rested on his golden tattoo. Her eyes darkened.

This did not go unnoticed by Teal'c. "I did not mean to alarm you, Major Carter. I only wished to see how you were." He bowed slightly.

Their run in days before had put a damper on their reunion, but Sam knew Teal'c was unlike the other Jaffa. He would never harm or demean her. He would even die for her. She had spent so much time despising Jaffa and all they did that she had been sure she never wanted to see another one. But the man before her, she _did_ want to see him, she realized.

Sam's gaze softened. She wasn't being fair to Teal'c. Not when he was just as important to her as her other teammates. Sam knew she wasn't being fair to her father, either. But perhaps reaching out to Teal'c would help pave the path to reconciling that relationship.

Honestly, she wasn't that comfortable with either one of them. They reminded her of things she'd rather forget. But the big difference between the two was a symbiote. Teal'c no longer had one. It was much easier to overcome her fears when her body wasn't alive with the sensations caused by a symbiote being so near. Facing those she loved was hard enough without the added anxiety.

Sam stood to her feet. She would give this a shot.

She nodded to Teal'c, giving him permission to enter. Walking in, he came to a stop a safe distance away. Neither said a word, both cautious of the other. Finally, Teal'c broke the silence.

"It is good to have you back," he told her earnestly. "It has not been the same without you."

Sam could feel the blush creeping into her cheeks, but she didn't smile. She had long since stopped doing that. She looked down to the floor.

Sensing her doubt, Teal'c continued. "It is the truth, Major Carter." He stepped a bit closer, and instead of scrutinizing gray floor, Sam got an eyeful of Teal'c's black boots.

Reluctantly, Sam looked up at her friend. The friend who had been there to comfort and protect her through the years. She was sure that hadn't changed. Before she could over think and stop herself, Sam closed the gap between them, grasping one of Teal'c's well built arms with her small hand and laying her head against his strong chest.

Teal'c couldn't deny he was moved by this act of trust. He embraced her tenderly. "Samantha?" Teal'c queried, intentionally using her given name.

Sam lifted her head to meet his gaze, carefully avoiding the golden emblem on his forehead. The large man gently smoothed her hair back from her face, and looked directly into her blue, shining eyes. Teal'c's low voice rumbled softly as he spoke.

"Welcome home."

o-O-o

"Wow, really? That's great!" Daniel enthused as Teal'c relayed what had happened between he and Sam. The men were gathered in Daniel's lab.

"It was very brief, but it was a step in the right direction," Teal'c nodded.

"Now if we can only get her to talk to Jacob," Jack put in. "They had an even worse reunion than you and Carter did the first time around."

"He frightened her badly. This will be more difficult, but she was able to face me, and that took great courage," Teal'c commended his former teammate.

Daniel bobbed his head in agreement. "I wish we could get her out of that bed, even out of that room. Right now, she's just sitting there stewing."

"We could ask Fraiser, I guess," Jack suggested. "Is there any reason she really needs to be in that hospital bed? Her physical injuries aren't ones that would normally keep her in the infirmary for more than a couple of days." They could all be thankful Sam had come home with only a few physical injuries. It could have been much worse.

"I believe it is primarily her mental state that is keeping her there."

"Teal'c's right," Daniel said. "But is it really helping? Being stuck in that room? What about on base quarters? There has to be a way for it to work. It would help give Sam a sense of normalcy."

"Good idea, Daniel. Go ask Fraiser," Jack ordered, jabbing his thumb towards the door.

"Why me?"

"You're more diplomatic than me. Now go."

Daniel rolled his eyes. "Maybe if you were less of a pain in the infirmary, you wouldn't be afraid to ask her," he teased.

Jack glowered. "Go. Now."

"Going, going, going."

o-O-o

Janet carefully inspected Sam's shoulder. "How does it feel?" The doctor took in Sam's affirmative nod. "Good. Let's keep resting it, and we'll gradually increase your range of motion as we start therapy. It's looking better, Sam." Janet assured her.

Sam pulled her top back over her exposed shoulder. She hated it when the nurses and doctors came by. They talked to her and touched her and made her feel vulnerable all over again. Janet was better than the rest, but even she didn't put Sam at ease.

"Well," Janet continued. "If you take it easy with your shoulder, I see no reason to keep you here." Earlier, she'd had quite an interesting meeting with Daniel, and she'd agreed with his proposal. Sam's injuries were healing nicely and did not require her to stay in the infirmary. And honestly, keeping the poor woman caged up in the prison-like room was doing no favors for her mental condition either.

Sitting up a little straighter, Sam paid the most attention to the doctor she had since she'd been back.

"Not so fast. There are some stipulations. You do have to stay on base, but I think you're ready to get out of here. The nurses and I will come by regularly to check up on you and make sure you're progressing well. And part of the deal is having a guard posted at your door." Janet watched Sam's face fall. "It's for your own protection. If you need anything there will be someone right there."

Sam had to acknowledge Janet's idea was a good one. She hadn't exactly proven herself to be self-sufficient, but she was desperate to get out of this room. She could deal with someone posted at her door.

"Will that work for you, Sam?"

"Yes."

Janet had to smile at the fact Sam had verbally responded to her. "Tomorrow, then." Slowly, but surely, they were getting somewhere.

o-O-o

Sam lay on her new bed, pillows cushioning her body. She felt much better in this room. This room had bright, cheery bedding. It had decorations on the walls. It reminded her less of a cell and more of a home. Daniel had brought by some books and a laptop. They sat on the table with the flower arrangement from the base. The guys were even going to try and get her some clothes so she could change out of the scrubs.

All of these things had lifted Sam's spirits, but in the scheme of things, it wasn't much. It would take much more to break through the sadness that seemed to surround her. Sam ran her fingers across the cover of the book resting forlornly on her comforter. She hadn't even cracked it open. She cast her gaze to the rest of the books piled on the table by the door.

Rising from her bed, Sam took her unread hardback with her. She crossed the room and set the book on the table. She looked at each of the other items Daniel had brought her, but none seemed very engaging. Just as she'd put the books in an orderly stack, she felt a tingle run down her spine. Sam stood stock still, fear welling up inside of her.

She knew this feeling all too well, and what it meant. Someone was coming to harm her, torture her, degrade her.

"Hydrogen, helium, lithium, beryllium, boron, carbon." Sam whispered the elements to herself. It was an attempt to help curb the flashback that was threatening to draw her into the abyss. She had to focus on something else; she was determined to stay in control this time.

She heard voices in the hallway. It had to be her father, but part of her illogically came to the conclusion it was somebody else entirely. Somebody she never wanted to see again.

"Nitrogen, oxygen, fluorine, neon."

The sensation grew. Whoever it was, they were just on the other side of the door talking to the guard. She backed away, leaning against the table for support.

"Sodium, magnesium, aluminum." Her heart pounded in her ears, her words drowned out. Sam wanted him to leave. He _had_ to leave.

Fortunately, he did. Footsteps disappeared down the corridor and the tingling faded as well as her trepidation. Sam returned to her bed, emotionally spent. She was furious with herself. She couldn't face her own father. She was hurting him so badly, and it wasn't his fault at all. Sam hugged her pillow, tears prickling her eyes. She wanted to cry at the injustice of it all. She was supposed to be free of her captors. Tisiphone had wanted her to pay for what she had done, but she was home now.

It didn't matter, though. She was still being punished, every day of her life.

o-O-o

_It was night. She was in her bed and it was quiet. She closed her eyes, attempting to sleep, but something disturbed her; a light, growing more and more bright._

_The door to her room was open, a silhouetted figure in the doorway. It only took her a moment to know who it was, to _feel_ who it was. But it was impossible. He couldn't be there._

_Large strides brought the man across the room, armor clanking. Fear rooted her to her bed. She couldn't move, she couldn't scream. She was paralyzed. He stripped the sheets away from her body and then he was on top of her._

"_Did you think you could get away, Samantha?"_

_Fear threatened to suffocate her. _

_He leaned in, foul breath in her ear._ "_You can never escape me."_

_She tried to push him away, but he only laughed._

"_Help!" she tried to yell, but the plea caught in her throat._

"_Your friends will not save you. They never could."_

_His weight was bearing down on her, pushing her into the mattress. Her mind flooded with past images. _

"_No…no…no…"_

"No!"

Sam shot up in her bed, chest heaving. Her hand flew to the bedside lamp and she turned it on, filling the room with light. A sigh of relief that almost came out as a sob escaped her.

She was alone.

Fortunately, she hadn't garnered the attention of the guard at her door. The room was empty and would likely stay that way until Janet or one of her friends came by in the morning. Now there would be no one there for her when she woke up from a nightmare or to sit with her when she couldn't sleep. She was on her own.

Again.

Sam left the light on and obscured herself beneath her bed sheets. Her body was ridged, her eyes wide, her ears alert. She wouldn't go back to sleep tonight.

That was the way Jack found her the next morning. She hadn't answered the door when he'd knocked, and the posted guard had let him in.

"Carter?" He set a suitcase by the dresser, filled with things from Sam's home. "Sam?" he tried again, coming to a stop by her bed. He cautiously pulled the covers back, revealing Sam, wide awake.

"Why didn't you answer the door?" he wondered, sitting himself on the edge of the bed.

Her silence was her reply.

"Ah," Jack nodded. She'd had a bad night. "I was hoping your first night here would be a little better," he admitted. "I'm sorry."

Sam looked up at him, her eyes sad.

Jack hated to see that look on her face. But he knew what he'd brought might help.

"I picked you up some things from your house."

Sam's eyebrow arched.

"Your dad held onto your place and quite a few of your things. I brought you a bag, over there," he told her, motioning to the black suitcase he'd brought in.

Craning her neck around, Sam spotted it.

Jack watched her closely. Technically, they weren't in the same chain of command anymore. Sam wasn't on his team and for the last year had been considered dead by everyone, including the military. He knew his actions toward her would be frowned upon by some, whether or not he was breaking any rules. Jack found he really didn't care what they thought. Even if Kinsey were watching over his shoulder, he wouldn't change a thing. As Daniel had so eloquently put it, Sam was alive, and that was more important than anything else. It wasn't often you got second chances, and this time he was going to do his best to get it right.

Sam wasn't really paying attention to him as he studied her. Jack already knew he had to initiate any conversations. However, he had a feeling he would have to push her to do anything. He wasn't considering making her do anything she wasn't comfortable with, but Jack was certain she wouldn't move from her position without some gentle prodding.

"Do you want to take a look?" Jack rose and hefted the bag onto one of the chairs. He unzipped it, hoping to pique Sam's interest. He noticed her watching curiously. "Make room?"

Sam seemed to understand what he wanted, and she sat up in the bed. Jack brought her things over. He waited for her to take the bait. Sam bit her lip, obviously thinking about it. After about a minute, she reached for the suitcase and began rifling through it.

There were a few shirts and pants and a pair of tennis shoes, all from her own closet. She blushed slightly as she realized the bag contained underclothes as well. Sam's eyes flicked to Jack for a moment, then back to her things. She found a hairbrush, some perfume, and a few other items.

Sam felt herself choke up. Her father had kept all of these things, even when he had thought she was dead and gone. He had never stopped loving her and this was how she was repaying him.

"Is my dad still here?"

Jack's eyes widened. Surely, _surely_, he had not just heard Sam speak a complete sentence. For a woman who had been making a concerted effort to _not_ talk, she'd just said a mouthful.

Though he'd admit it to no one, Jack loved Sam's voice. Her technobabble, that so many times he'd get her to recite even though he already understood it. The amused and affectionate tone that she took with him sometimes, or the soft, gentle lilt that put him to sleep when his watch was over. Hearing her voice was a thousand times better than having to remember it. After so many years of hearing it constantly, it had been sorely missed. But now was not the time to think about that.

"Yes, he is," he replied.

She nodded the slightest bit, taking the information in.

"Do you want to see him?" Jack asked gently. "I can get him if you want."

Sam backed against the headboard of her bed, shaking her head furiously.

"Whoa," Jack cried. "Calm down, calm down. I'll take that as a no. It's okay," he soothed.

He was flattered that Sam would interact with him so much, he really was. But she was completely shutting out her father. Fraiser had suggested the notion of Jacob's symbiote being upsetting to her. Jack could understand that, but her father was miserable.

Sam was looking down at her hands, as though she were ashamed of her response to him.

"Carter, when you're ready, whenever that may be, if you need someone with you…" He had made the offer and Jack hoped she would accept it. He wished he could get inside her head to understand her better, to see what made her click and figure out her motivations. There was a good chance, though, that Sam didn't understand it all herself.

TBC in 'Reunion'


	55. Reunion

Ch. 54 Reunion

"Sorry to keep you waiting," Janet apologized as she bustled into her office. Jack, Daniel, and Teal'c stood patiently.

"You requested to see us?" Teal'c asked, watching the small doctor shuffle through her files.

"Yes… Ah, here it is." Janet smiled triumphantly as she pulled a folder from the stack. She cleared her throat and looked at the men.

"I asked you here to talk about Sam. You three have been around her more than I have, and she's more open to you as well. I was wanting to know your thoughts on how she's doing." She looked to Teal'c, then Daniel, and then to Jack.

"Well," Daniel volunteered, "I've been sitting with her through a good number of her meals, and she eats, but not enough." Sam would scoot her food around her plate to make it look as though she were, but the childhood trick didn't fool Daniel.

"She is still underweight," Janet agreed. Sam had quite a few pounds to put on before she regained her healthy pre-Olympus weight.

"Major Carter does not speak. She is quite withdrawn, Dr. Fraiser," Teal'c commented.

"Yes, Teal'c, she is. I was hoping by now she would have opened up to us a bit more, but it looks as though it's going to take more time and effort."

Jack frowned as it became apparent it was his turn to say something. "Carter still has nightmares," he offered.

"Do you know if she's sleeping?"

"I think she's scared to," he confessed. "Sometimes she'll fall asleep when I'm there, but-" Jack stopped as soon as he realized what he was saying. Suddenly things felt quite awkward. Then Daniel jumped in.

"He's right. When we were on Olympus, I think the only time Sam actually slept well was with Jack."

Jack didn't say anything. He shuffled his feet nervously, wondering what Janet would say.

"Colonel, if you make Sam feel safe and secure, there's nothing wrong with that. If she can sleep because of it, there's nothing wrong with that either," Janet told him, her voice soft.

Jack nodded. "Yes, ma'am."

"Any progress with her father?" came the next query.

"A little, but…" Jack trailed off with a shrug. Sam hadn't mentioned Jacob again.

"He's leaving tomorrow. The Tok'ra sent a message this morning," Daniel said.

"So, not much time left. Don't push her, but you might want to mention it to Sam. I'd hate for her to miss out on her last chance. That is, if she wants to take it at all." Janet sighed before continuing. "I think you guys are doing exactly what you need to be doing. This is a difficult situation, and I think Sam's very lucky to have friends like you." Janet sent them a grateful smile.

The three men shook their heads appreciatively. Daniel and Teal'c headed out, but Jack lagged behind.

"Uh, Doc?"

"Yes, Colonel?" Janet looked tenderly at the man before her. His reputation painted him as gruff; a sarcastic, yet strong leader who could make airmen tremble. Janet knew there was much more to Jack than that. There was a gentle soul under all the toughness. Jack's admission that his presence had calmed his former 2IC and allowed her to rest touched her deeply. Janet had seen Sam, seen her terrified. Yet somehow Jack could soothe her. It was a unique bond the two shared.

"I was thinking, when Carter's up to it, maybe I could take her to the surface? Get her out of this place for a while and take in a little fresh air? I think it would be good for her," Jack proposed.

Janet mulled over his question. Sam had been in her new room for a few days now. She seemed to be handling that well enough. However, they never knew when a flashback would hit or when something would set her off. She knew Jack wouldn't let anything happen to her, though.

"Yes, on two conditions. One, she only goes when she's fully ready. Two, you don't let her out of your sight," she told him.

"Absolutely," Jack accepted.

Janet smiled. It would be hard for Sam to take such a large step, but if anyone could help her take it, it was Jack.

o-O-o

Jacob peered under his bed, double-checking that he was leaving nothing behind. It seemed as though something always got pushed underneath. He'd lost one too many toys that way as a child.

Finding nothing, Jacob stood and closed his pack. It was almost time to leave. The Tok'ra had been more than understanding about Sam. He'd been on Earth for a week, but now he had been hailed back by the High Council. As much as he wanted to stay, Jacob had decided it might be best to go ahead and leave. Sam didn't want to see him anyway.

He took a sip of water from his glass. It would be the last decent tasting water he would have for a while. Jacob set the drink down just as a knock came at his door.

"Come in!" he called out. He wasn't at all surprised to see Jack poke his head in.

"Leaving so soon?"

"In a bit." Jacob wasn't thrilled with Jack's chipper mood. Maybe he was a little resentful that Jack had actually gotten to spend time with his daughter. "What do you need?"

"Do you have a few minutes?" Jack questioned.

Jacob could tell it was important by the younger man's tone. "Yeah. What do you need?" he repeated.

Jack's gray head disappeared from view, but reemerged a few seconds later. He came into the room, and a few steps behind him came Sam.

"Sam." The name caught in his throat. This had not been expected. Jacob had truly believed he would leave without seeing her again.

Sam didn't answer or move forward. Her gaze washed over Jacob, but she refused to make eye contact. She looked ready to run, but she stayed rooted next to Jack, so close that their bodies touched.

Jacob looked on as her eyes squeezed shut and she leaned her head into Jack's shoulder. She almost seemed to be in pain. He saw her fingers nervously lace together, then pull apart. They stood there for a few minutes, in the same position. Then slowly, so slowly, her eyes slid open and looked at him. It was as if she were afraid of what would be there when she reopened her eyes.

"Look, I know this is uncomfortable for you," Jacob said apologetically. "We don't have to do this." He didn't want Sam to feel forced into anything. He didn't want to cause any more harm.

Sam stepped towards him, as if to signal she, in fact, did want to do this. Jack hung back, letting Sam take the lead.

Jacob was afraid to even breathe, afraid that the slightest thing could upset his daughter. He knew Selmak felt some guilt for what was going on, but it couldn't be helped. Their relationship was sort of a 'til death do us part' thing.

Sam was mere feet away from him. Jacob could see how uneasy she was, but he could also see just how much better she was looking. Now she was dressing in her own clothing that he'd kept stored at her home. That alone made a huge difference. The visible wounds were healing nicely. The color was coming back to her cheeks, though the circles under her eyes spoke of many a sleepless night. Her eyes themselves were still dark, haunted. They still refused to meet his.

A whole five minutes must have passed before Sam made a move. Then it happened so quickly. Sam closed the space between them and leaned in. She hugged him with such haste he almost missed it. Then she whispered something in his ear before swiftly turning away.

Jacob's mind tried to process what had happened as Sam left the room. Jack watched after her, surprised as well. Neither man followed. She hadn't left the room in tears, gone back to Jack, or even run away. Sam had simply…left.

Jack looked back at her father, perplexed.

Jacob smiled.

"What?" Jack questioned, confounded as ever at Jacob's beaming face.

"She said…'I love you.'"

o-O-o

Sam had made it back to her room. In some small way she was happy with herself. She'd seen her father. It had been her idea and no one else's. Daniel had told her he was leaving soon, but no one had forced her into that room. After wrestling with herself over it, Sam had finally asked Jack to go with her. He'd made the offer, so she knew he didn't mind. What angered her, though, was that she'd needed him in the first place. She had been terrified of going alone.

Once Sam had actually pushed through the imaginary wall that was keeping her from her dad, it hadn't been so difficult. In hindsight, she wished she'd said more to him. But she had done what she was capable of at that point in time.

She didn't know how long she was lost in her thoughts, but a small knock at the door brought her back around. Sam hoped there weren't any surprises on the other side. She'd had enough excitement to last awhile.

The door cracked open and Sam breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Jack. He was holding cake in one hand and blue jello in the other.

"I thought we should celebrate."

Sam stared.

Jack shrugged in return and set the desserts on the table. He sat down and waited for Sam to do the same.

Sam found the chair across from him and waited for an explanation.

Jack pursed his lips thoughtfully before he spoke. "I want you to know that…that you did a great job today."

Sam frowned at him, obviously not sharing the same sentiment.

"No, really. I know how hard it was to face your fears. But I think you just made your dad's year," Jack smiled gently.

Shaking her head, Sam disagreed.

"It may not seem like you did a lot, but your dad left today knowing how much you love him." Sam lifted her eyes to Jack's. He continued at this positive response. "And next time, you'll be even more prepared to see him. It takes time, Carter."

Sam knew he was right. Conceding, she took a bite of her jello. The cold sweetness almost reminded her of old times. But things would never be like they had been. Her life had been shattered into thousands of pieces. Whether or not anything of her former existence was salvageable remained to be seen. Though today…today hadn't been so bad.

TBC in 'Stepping Out'

A/N: As always, thanks for reading.


	56. Stepping Out

Ch. 55 Stepping Out

Sam sat on her bed, legs crossed. Her laptop sat in front of her, but the screen had long since gone dark due to her inactivity. Jack sat at the table, working on a crossword puzzle. He was never very good at them, but he hoped he could get some answers from Sam.

"I should know this," Jack moaned, poking his pen at the half finished puzzle. "Who won the Super Bowl in '83? Redskins or Dolphins? Dolphins or Redskins?"

Sam blinked at him.

Jack sighed and tossed his pen onto the table. Perhaps it was time for some 'gentle prodding'. "Do you want to get out of here?"

"What?" Sam stuttered.

Jack felt pleased he had gotten her attention. "You've been cooped up here too long. Let's go."

Sam's mind tried to wrap around his words. Go? Go where? Would Janet allow this?

"I got the okay from the doc," Jack said, answering the unspoken question. "We can go to the surface." He leaned forward in his chair, intently observing her. Janet had said not to push Sam, that she had to be ready for this. He thought she might be. The last couple of days had, thankfully, been pretty uneventful. But even in her new surroundings, she still seemed antsy, uncomfortable. Sam had been trapped in caverns on Tisiphone's planet, and they'd essentially kept her locked away in once since she'd been back.

Sam still didn't reply, shocked by the proposal to leave the confines of the mountain. She was actually starting to feel a little better. However, the idea of leaving the protection of her room scared her. Sam wasn't sure she was ready to deal with the outside world. Her silence worried Jack.

"We don't have to go anywhere. I just thought that maybe…" His voice trailed off.

For so long, Sam had felt like things were out of her control. She was only just beginning to feel some semblance of being in command of her own life again. Her room, her bed, they were her comfort zone. Jack was asking her to step out of it. Perhaps he didn't know what a leap of faith it was, perhaps he did. The offer was as enticing as it was terrifying.

"Okay," she said quickly, before she could change her mind. Sam had to agree to things her rational mind knew were harmless before she let her irrational mind think too hard on it and convince her otherwise. It was the only way she'd ever get anywhere.

Jack sent her a small smile. "I'll let you change then."

Sam's eyes followed him as he exited the room. She knew he hadn't gone far, though.

She stripped off the white scrubs she'd been wearing for night clothes. Sam tried her best not to look at the wounds that were still healing. She didn't want to be reminded, but her sore shoulder took care of that as she pulled her shirt on. All in all though, she couldn't really complain. Her body had been in much worse condition.

Her clothing, which had once fit well, hung loosely on her. She was grateful for the belt Jack had packed for her. She tightened it around her waist and slipped on her tennis shoes. She ran the brush through her hair. Sam wasn't as deft with her left hand, but her right arm wasn't quite ready for that task yet. She readjusted her sling, trying her best to keep it immobilized as Janet had ordered.

Once she was ready, Sam sat on the bed. As strange as it sounded, she almost felt human again. She was clean, dressed in real clothes, and going somewhere. If she were walking out on the street, she would look normal. Almost.

Sam didn't move from the mattress. She just stared at the door. She had rarely been let outside during her captivity. Most of her days were spent locked away in a cell. Sam missed being able to go outdoors; she missed the fresh air and the feel of the wind. She longed for the days when she trekked across alien planets with her friends. Sam's heart lightened just a bit. If she felt herself wanting her old life back, maybe there was hope for her yet.

Rising to her feet, Sam moved slowly towards the door. Her pulse quickened the closer she got. Outwardly, she looked like she was ready to go, but on the inside she was petrified. Sam came to a stop, only steps from the hallway.

She breathed deeply. She could do this. She could.

Sam peered out into the hall and found Jack standing a few feet away.

"Ready?" His presence was warm and inviting. Safe. His affectionate gaze gave her the confidence to take the few remaining steps. She looked up at him with trusting eyes.

Did he have any idea what kind of faith she had just placed in him?

o-O-o

Jack had quickly moved Sam from the dismal underground to the surface. He'd taken an alternate route from the main one to make Sam feel more comfortable. The duo had not had much difficulty on their short trip. The personnel they'd come across had been nothing but professional, except for one scientist who'd gawked at Sam. Jack had promptly sent him on his way. He had noticed how Sam seemed to shadow him. She didn't walk in front or beside him, and she never stood more than a foot or so behind him.

Before they stepped out onto the surface, Jack handed her a pair of sunglasses to help her eyes adjust. Jack looked over at his companion, a smile on his face. Something as simple as watching her walk out of the mountain on her own two feet exhilarated him. She was beautiful, standing there in the sunlight with the wind tousling her fair hair. She was _alive_.

"This is much nicer than the gray walls of the SGC," Jack said, trying to start a conversation. He knew it was unlikely that Sam would start chatting. She was still extremely reserved.

Sam nodded, lifting her chin towards the sky. She turned slowly in a circle, taking in her surroundings. She never strayed more than a few steps from him.

"Shall we?" Jack asked, gesturing down the trail. It was a nice day, perfect for a stroll. Sam looked to him, almost expectantly. Taking the hint, Jack began down the path they and many others had taken over the years. Sam fell into step next to him.

Once they walked under the mountain's leafy canopy, Sam slipped the glasses off. Even in the dimmer light, she squinted, but she kept going. Neither one spoke as they ambled along at a leisurely pace. While Jack had meant for this little excursion to be relaxing, he saw Sam was alert, and overly so. Every sound and every movement caught her attention. She soon began to eye the forest like something was going to jump out and get her. She walked so close to Jack she nearly knocked him from the trail.

Not far ahead was an old log that some airmen had set up. Jack waved her over as he sat.

"You okay?" he questioned after Sam had found a seat next to him. He knew what was going on. Hypervigilance wasn't that uncommon for someone with an anxiety disorder.

"Yeah." She hadn't made a sound, but Jack read her lips.

"Sam," Jack stated, deliberately using her first name. "I'm not gonna let anything happen." Her eyes were wide as she listened to his words. "I want you to feel safe here. You're home now, not on some God forsaken planet," Jack told her. He was conscious of the fact he had let her down before. But here and now, he _could_ protect her. Here, he was in control.

Sam nodded mutely.

Jack's lips pressed together as he contemplated his friend. He wanted her to talk to him, but he was pretty sure he understood why she wasn't. "I think I've got this figured out." Sam was watching him with her large, soulful eyes, but there was a distinct air of uncertainty about her.

He knew what he wanted to say to her, but Jack wasn't sure how to do it. He had never been good at baring his soul. He searched for the right words, and when he found them, the syllables stuck in his throat. Jack kicked himself mentally, forcing the words out.

"When I came back from Iraq, I didn't talk to Sara for a week. I couldn't tell her what had happened to me. I didn't want to. I didn't want her to know, and I didn't want to hear myself say the words."

Amazingly, Sam was still making eye contact with him. Her eyes were bright with unshed tears. He saw the pain she'd been trying so hard to conceal from him. The hurt and the shame were as clear as day.

"I tried to push everyone away. You know how good I am at that," Jack said with a self-deprecating smile. "Keeping all the pain to myself was the only way I knew how to deal with it. But the reality was, I wasn't dealing at all."

The woods were silent for a moment. Even the leaves ceased to make their gentle rustle.

"We don't have to talk about what happened, Sam. We can talk about anything you want to. The weather, politics, doohickeys...heck, who won the Super Bowl in '83!" Jack took a deep breath. "I just miss talking to you. I miss _you_."

Tears now rolled freely down Sam's cheeks.

"Aw, Carter. I didn't mean to make you cry," he apologized. He had only been trying to relate to her, to let her know he'd been there, too. Jack reached his arm around her and pulled her to him. "I know you feel like everything's screwed up and nothing will ever be right again, but it will," he whispered into her hair. "I promise it will."

Sam leaned into him and stayed there even after her tears had subsided. What had been an emotionally charged situation had softened into a comfortable silence between the two.

"Redskins."

Sam's soft voice broke through Jack's thoughts. "What?" he momentarily wondered, before it dawned on him what she was saying. "Oh."

He didn't ask how she knew or why she even cared about a decades old football game. He simply enjoyed her next to him. The occasional twitter of a bird and the wind through the trees were the only sounds. It was peaceful and serene. Jack found himself smiling once again.

_This_ had been what he'd had in mind.

TBC in 'Not a Sure Thing'


	57. Not a Sure Thing

Ch. 56 Not a Sure Thing

Sam was safely tucked away in her room once again. Her mind was swirling with the implications of Jack's words. She was seeing a different side of him. It was one she'd seen glimpses of throughout their friendship; those fleeting moments when he was Jack, not Colonel O'Neill. It was a part of him he wasn't allowed to show her as her boss. But now…now he wasn't her commanding officer.

When they had been on the planet together, and even after she'd been left alone, Sam had been so sure that when she arrived home things would go back to the way they had been. It had always been that way. It didn't matter what happened off world, they never failed to go back to pretending there was nothing between them. Now the status quo had changed.

It was strange to have Jack so openly share his feelings. He had said he missed her. Not simply her presence on the team, but _her_. Sam remembered on Olympus when he'd been prepared to admit things that they had never been able to before. She had stopped him, but she had gotten the hint that Jack still cared about her, even now she knew. It was obvious in the way he looked at her, in the gentleness of his voice, in the hours he spent at her side.

Sam knew he still felt for her, and to some degree, she enjoyed that knowledge. But it also broke her heart because she was by no means ready to return those feelings. Not that she didn't share the same sentiment; she loved him more than she thought she could ever love anyone. That didn't matter though, not when she was so confused. Not when she was an emotional mess. Not when she was nothing but damaged goods. It wouldn't be fair to him. Sam also knew Jack would never force her into anything she wasn't ready for, even if he wanted something more. It was scary and wonderful all at the same time.

The best thing to do, though, was to not let it go too far. She could lean on him and he could support her, she did need that. However, anything more led to dangerous territory. It led to a place where everything she was slowly building back up could come crumbling down.

o-O-o

"Hammond says we'll be put back in the mission rotation at the end of the week."

"Yeah?" Jennifer asked, setting down the device in her hands.

"Yep," Daniel replied. "He will have given us three weeks of downtime. I know it seems like a long time, but it's going to go by too fast."

"True." Jennifer had been working away in her lab while the boys had been helping out with Sam. She stayed in the background and out of the way. While Sam was a friend, Jennifer had no place in what was going on now.

"How is Sam?"

"In some ways better, in others the same."

Jennifer shook her head. "I just can't imagine what she's going through."

"None of us can," Daniel said, a little more sharply than he had intended. "Sorry, Jennifer. But we really can't. Jack can, to some extent. If you'll remember, he and Ba'al…"

"Yes," Jennifer responded. She knew about that. She couldn't fathom what it was like to be caught and tortured. Jennifer had had her own unpleasant off world experiences, but none even compared to what had happened to Sam.

"When do you think Sam will rejoin the team?" she asked, honestly curious.

Daniel stared at her for a moment. Sam was so totally different now. She had traveled the vast galaxy, but now she barely left her quarters. There was no way she would get anywhere near the gate, at least not for a long time. Deep down, Daniel feared he knew the truth.

"Jennifer…I don't know if she will."

Jennifer tried to process this new information, but Jack and Teal'c's entrance prevented her from doing so.

"So, Hailey, guess you've heard the news," Jack said, leaning against the workbench.

"Yes, sir."

"Not that I don't think you've immensely enjoyed your time working with these gadgets," Jack mentioned as he took in the items on his 2IC's table.

"Oh, I have, sir. But I do enjoy field work as well." Jennifer tried to smile, but the whole situation was weird. It shouldn't be her going back out there, it should be Sam.

The room was silent. No one dared voice the opinion they hoped it was a simple mission. As they all knew, those types could turn out to be the worst.

"Well, we have to tell Sam soon," Daniel reminded them. "She needs to know we're not going to be around as much."

Jack and Teal'c nodded in sullen agreement. None of them wanted to leave Sam, but orders were orders. Hammond had been very understanding. Any other general would have sent them back out long ago.

"On another note, Major Carter's day of birth is approaching."

Jack turned to Teal'c. "Her birthday?"

"That is what I said."

Daniel chuckled. "Of course it is. I wonder what we should do. We should do something special this year," he mused. This birthday was more meaningful than any of the others they had spent together in the past. This year, Sam was back.

"What could we possibly give her?" Jack thought aloud.

"What?"

"Everything just seems so…materialistic, Daniel. I don't think a book on astrophysics is quite what Carter wants right now."

The archaeologist shrugged. "I don't know. I guess we wait and see where she is. See what she's ready for."

"I believe that is wise." Teal'c's voice held an air of approval.

Jennifer listened to the trio's discussion. With these guys for friends, she was sure Sam would get better quickly and that whatever they came up with for her birthday would be exactly what Sam needed.

o-O-o

Sam felt her heart drop at Daniel's words. She stared at the floor, practically glaring at it to keep the emotions within her from erupting. She saw three pairs of shoes, belonging to the three men who were about to leave.

"We'll be off world for one night, two tops," Jack tried to reassure her.

It wasn't really helping. There was an underlying fear Sam couldn't shake. That something horrible would happen to them. The apprehension was ridiculous, but not entirely unfounded. No mission could be a safe and sure thing, as they all knew. Still, they had a job to do. Sam could understand that. They weren't abandoning her. The world kept going, with or without her.

Sam lifted her head to the men. She recalled what Jack had said about her talking. Even still, she had a difficult time actually doing it. While a captive, she'd kept her silence to not give anything away. Upon her return, she played mute so she wouldn't have to reveal anything. It was a bad habit; one that needed to be broken.

"Please, _please_ be careful." Her voice was low and each word was weighed down with concern.

"We intend to be. Do not fret, Major Carter."

Sam shook her head. Teal'c didn't understand. She would worry incessantly until they came home. She was already having a difficult time quelling the anxiousness building in the pit of her stomach.

Sam moved forward. "Please," she whispered again as she hugged the large man. She felt Teal'c's comforting hand on her back and she sighed.

Soon there was a hand on her shoulder. "We know what you're scared of, Sam. We're scared, too."

"There's always a risk involved, Carter." A palm, fingers gently caressing her side. "But we keep going out there so that one day there won't be."

Sam nodded into Teal'c's muscular chest. The sensation of her friends surrounding her made her feel safe. It was like being wrapped in a cocoon of warmth and security. She didn't want them to go. She wanted to stay here forever, knowing she was cared for.

Even if she loathed herself and what she had become, here, enveloped by those she loved, Sam could imagine she was all right.

o-O-o

"An ice pack should do the trick. Try and be more careful next time, Sergeant," Janet lightly reprimanded the man before her.

"Yes ma'am," he answered, gratefully setting the cold bag on the back of his head.

"Doc, can I have a minute?"

Janet turned at the new voice, surprised to see Jack. He was decked out in all his gear, ready to step through the gate. She nodded to her patient, indicating they were through.

"Sure, what can I do for you, Colonel?"

Jack looked uncomfortable as he began to speak. "Ah, this is the first time we've gone off world since Carter's been back. And I…uh..." Jack shuffled nervously. "Look, if anything happens, if for any reason you need us, we can cut this mission short."

Janet understood immediately, and with a smile, replied. "Of course. We'll keep an eye on her. If we need you, we know where to find you."

"Thanks." Jack shifted, readjusting his P-90. "Keep care of her."

o-O-o

Her heels clicking against the gray floor of the SGC, Janet headed to Sam's room. She'd been checking in on Sam frequently since SG-1 had left two days before. She hadn't been taking their departure well. Sam was regressing, losing what little progress she'd made.

Janet knocked, then let herself into the room. Sam, noticing her arrival, uncurled herself and sat up in the bed. Her hopeful eyes locked with Janet's.

"They're not back yet."

Sam sank back into the mattress, deflated.

Janet's features were briefly graced with a sad smile. "I know you miss them."

"Yeah."

Many years ago, Janet had had a similar conversation with Sam, when Jack had been stuck on Edora. So much had happened since then. Janet had asked if it was an issue then, and it was definitely one now.

Sam needed those men more than she needed the food sitting uneaten next to her. She needed them more than the sleep it was obvious she wasn't getting. Sam needed them to lessen the anxiety Janet could feel radiating off of her friend.

"They're due back today. I'm sure they'll come see you as soon as they're cleared." The doctor watched for a reaction from Sam, but there was none. She was sure, though, that in only a few hours, this lethargic, impassive Sam would be replaced with a delighted, relieved one, as soon as her friends walked through the door.

Janet wondered if it would make her smile. She had no idea what would make Sam happy again. Truly happy. Once upon a time, a visit from a young and chipper Cassandra would bring Sam joy. Cassie had finished up with her college classes and was begging to see Sam again. Janet hadn't said yes yet.

Sam's work used to make her smile, but now she had an uncertain future with the SGC. Janet would do her best to make sure Sam was physically ready, but the hardest part was yet to come. It would be an arduous path, and if she overcame the obstacles in her way, at the very least she could work in her lab again.

As for her friends, now they did their best to help her heal. Eventually they would be able to enjoy the easygoing friendships they'd once had. And Jack. One day, when the time was right, Janet knew they would move forward in a relationship, and that Jack would do anything necessary to make Sam happy.

One day, that would bring Sam unbridled bliss.

o-O-o

The blaring of the klaxons brought General Hammond down to the control room.

"Who is it?" he demanded. Hammond hoped it was SG-1 returning, though his gut told him it wasn't.

"No IDC, sir. I'm not picking up any-"

"What the-"

Both men were at a loss for words as a form materialized on the ramp, in front of the closed iris.

"I am Tisiphone, your goddess."

TBC in 'Unexpected'


	58. Unexpected

Ch. 57 Unexpected

Hammond took the steps two at a time to the gate room. He called off his men, waving their weapons down. The tiny brunette was nothing but a hologram. He sized up the Goa'uld with his eyes.

So this was Tisiphone.

"I wish for you to return Samantha Carter," she demanded as Hammond stopped at the foot of the ramp.

"Excuse me?"

"I want Samantha Carter."

"We can't give you what we don't have." Hammond could never, _ever_, let Tisiphone know that Sam was back on Earth. Despite was she may or may not know, he would have to play dumb.

"I know who took her from my possession. I am not a fool."

"We lost Major Carter a year ago. Unless there's something you're not telling me?" Hammond raised an eyebrow.

"There is something _you_ are not telling _me_. When I find her, she will pay for your deception."

The general stood firm, his eyes boring into the Goa'uld's. She would not come here and intimidate him and make threats against his people. He kept his demeanor in check as he considered his off world team and the possibility they'd crossed paths with Tisiphone on their current mission. If she did have SG-1, Tisiphone would be gloating, using them as a bargaining chip. However, the diminutive woman didn't seem to have that advantage as she glared down at him.

At Hammond's silence, Tisiphone let out a small grunt of disgust. "No matter. The Tau'ri will succumb to me soon enough."

The hologram wavered, then vanished. Moments later the gate shut down.

Hammond crossed his arms across his chest. He wasn't sure what to make of the System Lord's visit. But he knew if Ba'al and Tisiphone had the resources he believed they did, and the desire to come to Earth, Sam wouldn't be the only one who needed protecting.

o-O-o

"Lucy, we're home!"

Jack waited. Behind him, Daniel and Teal'c stood silently. Then the door flew open.

A wide grin spread across Jack's face. "So you _can_ answer the door." He saw nothing but relief on Sam's features. Her eyes flew from Jack to the men behind her.

"Daniel!" Sam pushed past Jack and to her fellow scientist. Her hand went to his forehead, which was freshly bandaged.

"Oh, it's nothing, Sam. I just hit my head. The building we gated into wasn't exactly up to code and…" Daniel shrugged. "It's nothing."

Sam studied him for a minute, then apparently decided he was telling the truth. She turned and went back into her room, the men following.

"Have you been well, Major Carter?"

She nodded quickly, too quickly. Jack had already spoken to Janet, and he knew she was lying. She hadn't been fine at all. And truth be told, it had been torture for him to be away from her.

"We found cool stuff," he said, trying to change the subject. "Hailey can't wait to get her hands on it."

Jack cringed as soon as he said it. He didn't want to remind Sam of her lost position on the team or to make her feel bad. But Sam didn't even flinch at his statement. Jack had to speculate, once again, about Sam's future.

"Everything went without a hitch," Jack continued. He cast a sideways glance at Daniel. "Well, mostly."

"Good," Sam replied quietly.

"Hate to run, Sam, but we've got our debriefing soon. Catch you for dinner?" Daniel wondered.

Sam's head bobbed up and down.

Reluctantly, the men headed out the door, leaving Sam to watch after them. After stepping onto the elevator, Daniel turned to his friends. "I know she lied about being fine, but Janet did say she didn't have any bad flashbacks or nightmares."

"Well, at least that she knew about," Jack replied, sticking his hands in his pockets.

"Well…" Daniel was silent for a beat. "It could have been worse."

Teal'c nodded in accord. "It very well could have."

"Thank God for small favors, right?" Jack took long strides as he walked towards the briefing room.

"Yeah, something like that, Jack," Daniel said, running a few steps to catch up.

No more words were exchanged as they entered the room. Jennifer was already waiting.

"How was Sam?"

"About the same, I guess," Daniel told her.

Jennifer's lips settled into a sad smile. "Oh, okay." She spun out of her chair and stood when she spotted Hammond come out of his office.

"Have a seat," Hammond said, finding his own. "There's something I need to discuss with you."

"Sir, the mission-"

"It's not about that, Colonel." The older man sighed. "We had a visitor while you were gone."

"Who?"

"Tisiphone."

The pen Jack had been restlessly manipulating in his hands stilled. Daniel sat up a little straighter. Teal'c's fists clenched.

"Not her, but her hologram," he quickly put in, not wanting to cause any more alarm than necessary. "She demanded we return Major Carter."

Jack's features darkened. "I hope you told her there's no way in-"

Hammond held up his hand to stop Jack. "I told her as far as we knew, Major Carter was dead. I don't think she believed me."

"What does this mean for us?" Daniel queried, worry for his friend mounting.

"I'm not sure, Dr. Jackson. I'm not even sure how long she and Ba'al will refrain from attacking Earth."

"If Tisiphone wishes to have Major Carter returned badly enough, she will find a way," Teal'c warned them.

"I'm wondering how she can be so sure Sam's here. The Jaffa on that mining planet know more than we thought or-"

"Or someone's got loose lips," Jack finished for Daniel.

"We are all well aware that we've had trouble with information leaks in the past. For now, we keep our eyes and ears open concerning Tisiphone's activities and any threats to Earth. As for Major Carter, we deny everything." Hammond's tone was grim. The future was more uncertain than ever.

SG-1 nodded. There was no telling what Tisiphone would do if she somehow got her hands on the major again. They were sure of one thing; they'd all go to any lengths to protect Sam.

o-O-o

_Surrounded. She was surrounded with nowhere to go. Nowhere to hide. She squeezed her eyes shut so she couldn't see their leering faces. Still, she could hear their mocking and their laughing. _

"_Get up, I have not even touched you!" one commanded._

_Sam curled more tightly into a ball. The tip of a staff weapon was jammed into her side. She barely let out a moan. Again, it was thrust into her side, harder than before. This time she couldn't stifle a cry of pain._

_This prompted a response from the Jaffa, one not unlike men enjoying some type of sporting event together. She was their plaything._

"_Mal'tek will hear of this defiance when he returns. Your stubbornness will not sit well with him." Another voice, one of many that hounded her day and night._

"_Or us. Stand up!"_

_At the shout she could feel their hands on her, pulling and tugging, forcing her to comply. __She twisted and turned, trying to maneuver her body back into its defensive position. But she was tired, so tired. Resisting was difficult. Sometimes it was easier not to fight, to let them win. _

_Her eyes slid open. Surrounded. She was surrounded with nowhere to go. _

Sam lay quietly in her bed. Since the men had returned from off world, they'd taken turns sitting, eating, and even taking walks with her. They'd been nothing but wonderful. The last couple of days Sam had attempted to rise at a decent time, whether or not she'd had a decent night's sleep. She'd dressed herself. She'd tried to feel normal again. But today, she just didn't feel like getting up.

She sighed. Sam knew that soon they'd start prescribing her even more medications, something for everything she was sure they'd find wrong with her. She was depressed, she was anxious, she was royally screwed up. She knew that. Sam was sure MacKenzie would arrive and recommend she take every drug under the sun and force her into therapy. Sam didn't want that. She dreaded the moment they would start asking her about her captivity.

At this point, she dreaded her future.

What did she even have to look forward to? Her job…they would never let her back in the field. They would probably give her an honorable discharge. She would be deemed unable to perform her duties and be sent on her way. As for her friends and teammates, even her family, Sam knew her relationships with them were shaky at best. She would never completely let them in. Sam could not allow them to know truths about her that she couldn't even admit to herself. In all honesty, Sam detested herself, and if she felt that way, there was certainly no way they could accept her.

She was thankful her team hadn't been on Olympus when things had really gotten bad. After they had escaped and she had been left on the planet, the first thing she remembered was waking up in the sarcophagus. Mal'tek had been waiting, and her punishment had been severe. For a while, the First Prime had been the only one to torment her. Then, as Tisiphone's battles and territory had expanded, Mal'tek spent less time with her. He would leave for days at a time, but he never failed to leave equally wicked Jaffa in his place. Tisiphone had always been more interested in her suffering than actually obtaining knowledge, and Sam was never given a chance to forget it. When Mal'tek would return, he took pleasure in causing her pain, in breaking her, in tearing down any shred of dignity she had left.

Sam was so grateful her friends hadn't been there to see it.

The torture, the fights…

The screaming, the pain…

The nightmares, the breakdowns…

The sorrow, the shame…

The inability to deal with it.

Time would heal some of the wounds, lessen the pain. Without the constant barrage of agony from her captors, she could deal with things just a bit better. But Sam would never forget and she'd never be the same. She could pretend she was okay for a bit, but then on mornings like this, she'd remember. The memories would overcome her and she wasn't equipped to handle them.

That was why they'd want her in therapy and put her on drugs to make her 'better'. But didn't they see the futility of it? How could they ever fix something that was irrevocably broken?

Sam's attention turned toward the door. Knocking heralded the arrival of Daniel. It was his turn to take her to the surface. If he thought she was going on a walk, he was wrong. She hoped that maybe he would go away as she buried herself beneath her sheets.

There was no such luck as the door cracked open and Daniel slipped in, and surprisingly, Jack and Teal'c as well. She could read the concern on their faces as they noticed her still in bed.

"Sam?"

When she didn't reply, Daniel walked over. He studied her closely. "Sam, why aren't you up?" he questioned.

"Not going." Short and sweet helped keep them at arm's length.

"Why not? Are you okay?" Worry filled Daniel's voice.

Sam just shook her head. Unwanted tears sprang to her eyes. Her emotions were a mess, as usual. And they were all there to see it. Just great.

Daniel sat down on the edge of the bed. "Did you have a bad night?"

Somehow he knew. Daniel was always so good at reading people.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No." And she didn't. She didn't want to talk about her problems with a shrink, and she didn't want to talk about them with Daniel. She especially didn't want to talk about them with her entire team there.

"Well, if you ever do, I'm available. I hope you know that, Sam," Daniel replied. There was no pressure, just an open invitation. He stared across the room at her uneaten breakfast. "Not hungry either, I guess."

"You gotta eat, Carter," Jack piped up, his voice soft, in no way demanding. "Besides, I can't believe you're sleeping in today, of all days!"

His tone was more cheerful now, Sam noticed. She sent a curious look his way.

"Do you not know what today is?" Teal'c questioned.

Daniel glanced nervously at his friends as Sam's silence begged for an answer. "Um…Sam, it's your birthday."

"What?" she whispered in disbelief, eyes widening slightly.

There was an awkward silence, no one sure how to proceed. A flustered Sam was the first to make a move.

"How long was I gone?" She had never asked and she had never been told. But if it was her birthday, then that would mean…

"Approximately a year, Major Carter."

The words slammed into her like someone punching her gut, but they weren't a surprise, not really. She knew what season it was on the surface. She knew that it had been the same time of year when they'd been captured. She also knew that she'd been gone a long time. Sam couldn't pretend or fool herself. It had been a year. But she simply couldn't wrap her mind around it. All that time, an entire year of her life, gone. The moisture that had been pooling in her crystalline eyes began to fall.

"I'm so sorry," Daniel apologized. "So sorry we didn't know, that we didn't find you sooner." He placed a gentle hand on Sam's arm.

Sam almost flinched at the touch. She covered her face with her hand, taking a deep, shuddering breath. The fact it was her birthday gave her some pleasure, but everything else pummeled the tiny morsel of good news into oblivion. Then a thought hit her full force.

"How _did_ you know?"

"Know what?" Jack asked gently as he made a seat for himself next to Daniel at the end of the bed.

"How to find me?" Sam made herself say the words. She had to know. Sam couldn't believe she hadn't asked before.

Daniel's face fell. Jack bit his lip. Something wasn't right, Sam deduced.

"We did not," Teal'c replied in a voice that was uncharacteristically soft. "SG-3 came across you on a mission to rescue Tok'ra operatives who had been taken by Tisiphone."

Sam nodded. It was a difficult admission to make, that they'd almost not found her at all, that it was pure luck they'd stumbled across her. She wasn't upset. They wouldn't have been looking for her anyway. She'd been dead to them, for going on a year.

Then more tears came as Sam realized just how fortunate she had been. What if she'd been locked away at an entirely different location? What if they hadn't come across her, what if they hadn't stopped? She would still be at the mercy of Jaffa. She would still be in a living hell.

"I did not mean to upset you," Teal'c apologized.

Sam shook her head. "You didn't." The reply was shaky, laced with her subsiding sobs. She truly wasn't angry. She never had been. Not at them.

"I know it's a lot to take in," Daniel told her in understanding. He frowned slightly. "Everything's been…well…"

Everything had been a mess. And making her cry on her birthday was something she was sure the guys hadn't intended.

"I'm okay," she whispered. She nodded to affirm it.

The room was silent, the awkwardness still in the air.

"So…" Jack spoke up at last. "Happy Birthday?"

Sam lifted her gaze to the man at the end of the bed. Birthdays were about life. It was a day to celebrate another year of your existence. But when you'd already died more times than you could remember, what did a birthday mean then? Every day should have been a gift, but it wasn't. Sam should have smiled at his words, but she didn't.

"We, ah, weren't sure what to get you. Nothing…nothing seems appropriate," Daniel said, almost shyly. As if he felt bad for not having a perfectly wrapped gift to give her.

Sam knew she could have asked for anything and the men would have gotten it for her. But there was only one thing she really wanted, and they were already there.

TBC in 'A Reason to Smile'


	59. A Reason to Smile

Ch. 58 A Reason to Smile

Sam rolled the smooth marbles in her hand. She waited for Teal'c to make his move, marbles in his own large hand. The mancala board sat before them. The game was one she'd taught Teal'c. She'd learned it herself years ago from a roommate.

Her eyes followed the colorful game pieces as Teal'c dropped them in the slots, one by one. He was going to win this game, just like he had the two games before. Sam didn't even know why she continued to play. She was trying to make the best of her birthday and her friends were trying to help. Teal'c had been with her for the last couple of hours. Lunch would be soon, and Daniel would arrive. Sam was honestly happy they were willing to spend the day with her, even if she didn't outwardly show it.

"It is your turn, Major Carter."

Sam blinked. "Oh. Sorry."

"It is all right." Teal'c watched her with concerned eyes. "Your mind is full," he observed, setting down his marbles. "Do you wish to speak about it?"

Sam shook her head. She watched with guarded eyes as Teal'c placed his hand on her arm. It was involuntarily, but she tensed.

"I still make you uncomfortable."

"No."

"You do not lie well, Major Carter," Teal'c lightly admonished, removing his hand. "Do you wish me to take my leave?"

"No," Sam shook her head vigorously.

A gentle smile settled on Teal'c's lips. He gathered all the marbles and closed the mancala board. "If I remind you of him, perhaps it is best."

"No!" Sam cried, the word rolling from her lips for the third time. She looked at her friend. He deserved answers, they all did, but it was so hard to give them. Though, if she didn't, it would further deteriorate their relationship.

"I…I keep having these dreams…these flashbacks," she said quickly. Sam's throat constricted, afraid to go on. She'd already said more than she thought she would. Teal'c bowed his head, waiting for her to continue. "The Jaffa…they…" She swallowed hard, rising from her chair and turning away from the Jaffa in front of her.

There was a beat of silence before Teal'c spoke. "What they have done to you will not go unavenged. I will make certain of it. However," his tone softer now, "even that will not repair what has hurt you so deeply."

Sam felt his presence behind her, but he did not touch her as he had before.

"I am Jaffa. I understand your fear…of both them and of me."

"Teal'c…it's not you. I'm just…"

"I cannot change what I am. You cannot change how you feel."

Sam's head dropped slightly. The last thing she wanted was to make Teal'c feel bad, but he was right. There was still a part of her, and probably always would be, that would hesitate when in the presence of Jaffa, friend or foe. She couldn't help it anymore than Teal'c could help being a Jaffa.

Facing him, Sam resolutely reopened the game board. Whatever her personal insecurities were, she wasn't going to let them ruin her birthday.

o-O-o

"Nice day for a walk," Daniel commented as he and Sam walked along the mountain path. She had finally been convinced to get out of her room and the dull, dank underground.

Sam shot him a look.

"Sorry," Daniel cringed. "That was very cliché."

They quietly continued on. After a while, Daniel could tell his companion was tiring. Sam could no longer walk the distances she once had. He came to a stop, as did Sam. She leaned her exhausted body against a nearby tree, and though she attempted to be discrete, it was obvious she was out of breath.

Daniel watched Sam, adoration etched on his face. Her hair danced in the breeze and fair skin soaked up the sun it had been deprived of for so long. Unreadable blue eyes settled on him.

Clearing his throat, Daniel averted his gaze. Sam had been home for weeks, but every second he spent with her was still so special. Each time he saw her talking, walking, _breathing…_she never failed to amaze him. Sometimes he simply couldn't help staring.

The lull in their almost non-existent conversation persisted. Most of their time spent together was spent in silence. When Sam did talk, Daniel listened intently. When she did talk, Sam had something important to say. So when Sam's lips parted, as if to speak, Daniel's ears perked up.

"I want to thank them."

"Them?" Daniel inquired.

Sam rubbed the toe of her shoe against the ground, making an indentation in the soil. "SG-3. The Tok'ra."

"Ah." Her heroes. Her saviors. Those who had succeeded where he and his team had failed. Daniel had already thanked them himself; he, too, was eternally grateful.

Sam kept digging her shoe into the dirt, making the hole bigger as well as the pile of displaced soil.

"I want to."

An unspoken 'one day' was left hanging in the air between them. Sam had made many strides since her return, but relating to others outside her close knit circle of friends wasn't something she was prepared for quite yet. But the fact she had spoken of it meant she was serious about it. She _would_ thank them, in her own time.

o-O-o

Jack peered into Sam's room. He had heard from Daniel she was resting after their walk. She was curled up in her bed, but the bedside lamp was on. Jack took a few steps, trying to get a better look and determine whether or not she was actually asleep. He leaned over to get a view of her face, and there she was, staring right back at him.

"Hey."

"Hi."

Jack smiled broadly. She was interacting with him more these days. Hopefully, gone were the days his greetings fell on deaf ears and he received no response.

"How's your day been going?"

Sam shrugged.

Okay, so maybe those days weren't completely gone.

"Not a typical birthday, huh?" Jack sat down across from her. The chair was familiar, and the groove he settled himself into spoke to that.

Sam shook her head in reply.

"Well, the day's not over yet," Jack replied with an air of secretiveness.

Shifting in her bed, Sam sat up slightly.

Once again, Jack beamed. She was showing an interest, no longer as listless as she'd once been.

"But that's later. Right now," he started, "is there anything I can do? Anything you want?" He was practically still apologizing for not having her some materialistic gift, even though they both knew that wasn't what she wanted.

Sam's eyes flitted downward, as if in thought. After a moment, "What's happened…out there?"

Answers. She wanted answers.

Where to even start?

"It's pretty screwed up, Sam." Jack went on to tell her of the attack on the Alpha Site and the state of their alliances with the Tok'ra and Jaffa. He told her of Ba'al and Tisiphone controlling the System Lords. Jack didn't hide how messed up things had gotten. He didn't know how much she knew about any of it, but Sam never said a word. Not until he was done.

"I never told them anything."

"I know you didn't." And he knew she'd paid dearly for it.

Sam nodded, a gesture of acknowledgement and thanks. Then she stifled a yawn.

Jack would stay until she fell asleep. Then he had some errands to run.

o-O-o

Sam sat at the small table in her room. She'd dozed off for a bit, and when she'd woken up, Jack had been gone. Though, Sam knew he'd be back…hoped he'd be back. She'd enjoyed her day as much as she could. Teal'c and Daniel had spent a good deal of time with her, but she hadn't seen Jack as much as she would have liked.

A rumble vibrated her stomach. She hadn't eaten breakfast and only picked at lunch. Now she was paying for it. Her hand gently massaged her abdominal region. Someone would be there soon with her dinner. Someone always was. Sam hadn't made it to the commissary on her own yet.

She sat quietly. She didn't touch any of the things in front of her, books, a laptop, pen and paper, and a deck of cards. Sam checked the bedside clock. 6:27. Yes, they'd be there soon.

Sam could hear the shuffling of bags and the murmur of voices before the door cracked open. When it finally swung open all the way, Jack, Daniel, and Teal'c entered, their arms filled.

"Dinner's here!" Daniel announced, setting his bag on the table before her. The smell of warm, delicious food rose to fill her nostrils.

"Dessert, too," Jack added, pushing his box onto the table. "You know it wouldn't be a birthday without cake, Carter."

"Indeed," Teal'c concurred, placing the drinks next to the food. "We have brought dinner from O'Malleys."

"You have no idea how hard it was to sneak this down here. Especially the cake," Jack said with a smile.

Sam watched passively as the men set dinner out. Soon everything was ready and they found their seats at the table-Daniel to her right, Jack to her left, and Teal'c in front of her. No one opened the styrofoam containers their food came in. The three men waited for her to make the first move.

Curiosity got the better of her, and Sam popped hers open. A thick, juicy steak, loaded baked potato, side salad, and roll greeted her. Her stomach rumbled at the sight. This was far better than the commissary food and an excellent choice for a birthday meal. O'Malley's was no doubt where they would have been had she not been confined to the base. Sam glanced up at her friends.

"Thanks," she said softly.

"Sure," Daniel replied. "Dig in?"

o-O-o

Jack eyed Sam's half eaten steak. Though she hadn't cleaned her plate, she had consumed enough food that he didn't feel he needed to pester her to eat more. Instead, he poked his fork at her plate.

"You gonna eat that?"

Sam shook her head no and Jack stabbed the grilled meat and placed it on his plate.

"Thanks." The steak was gone in a few bites. "So good," Jack said contentedly, leaning back in his chair. After a few moments he sat back up. "But there's always room for cake, don't you think?"

He didn't wait for an answer before he grabbed the bakery box and a knife. "No candles, of course. Don't want to start a fire or anything," he jabbed gently. Sam didn't smile as he'd hoped she would, but Jack could see the slight glint of amusement in her eyes.

"Look who's talking," Daniel said as he cleared the table to make room for the dessert. "Your cake would definitely be a fire hazard. Though," he paused, looking to Teal'c, "not as much as some people's."

Teal'c raised an eyebrow, but did not give the comment a reply. "Before we eat, is it not ritual to sing a song?"

"This is true," Jack mused. He glanced at Sam, momentarily worried about how she was taking all of this. Her face was blank, as usual. Then Daniel's voice broke through his uncertainties.

"Happy Birthday to you."

Teal'c's bass soon joined with Daniel's tenor, and then Jack's voice, somewhere in between.

"Happy Birthday, dear Sam."

"Carter"

"Major Carter."

Each man inserted his name for her before finishing the familiar tune. Then Jack ended with a grand flourish of his arms, "And many more!"

He could see the simple gesture of singing the traditional song stirred emotions deep within Sam. His worries came back to the forefront. But instead of reacting in the same manner she had been as of late, Sam did something different. Instead, Sam did something she hadn't done in a long time, something that surprised them all.

She smiled.

TBC in 'Channels of Communication'


	60. Channels of Communication

Ch. 59 Channels of Communication

Jack and Hammond were seated at the briefing room table. Between them sat Sam. Opposite of the trio sat Major Paul Davis.

The Pentagon had been pushing the issue with Hammond again. They wanted to talk to the major and they were tired of waiting. Jack had argued that Sam would never talk to them. As a compromise, they'd sent Davis, someone they knew well.

"Major Carter, it's good to see you," Davis smiled as he sorted through his briefcase, pulling out a notepad and pen. "When the Pentagon received word you'd been recovered, we were ecstatic, to say the least."

The uneasy quiet that came after the comment caused Davis to clear his throat and push ahead.

"I assume you've been briefed as to why I'm here. We need to know what you know about Tisiphone and her alliance with Ba'al. Anything you may have heard, seen, or learned while in her custody."

Sam nodded.

"I suppose we should go ahead and get started. Major, do you know the gate address of Tisiphone's homeworld?"

Sam shook her head.

"Do you know where any of her strongholds are? Perhaps one she shares with Ba'al?"

Another shake of her head.

"Does she possess any technology or weapons that we are unaware of that may pose a serious threat?"

A slight shrug.

"Was there not a device moved from P3X-149 to Olympus that you were asked to look at?"

Sam took a breath. "I couldn't fix it."

"Could they?"

"No."

"Where is it now?"

"I don't know."

Jack watched as Sam looked increasingly uncomfortable. Her fellow major wasn't being harsh or demanding, but Davis was still leading Sam in a direction she did not want to go.

Davis seemed to withhold a sigh before he spoke again. "Okay, how about you tell us what you do know?"

"I was a prisoner. I wasn't made privy to anything that would help us in the fight against the Goa'uld." With the statement, Sam tried to end the conversation and said more in one go than she had in a long time.

"Major," Davis began, not giving up. "There must be something, some piece of information that perhaps you heard in passing. You know how the Goa'uld like to boast. Try to remember," he prodded. The Pentagon liaison couldn't return home empty handed.

Sam just shook her head.

Davis glanced to Hammond and Jack, sensing they were getting as agitated as their friend.

"Okay…" He flipped through his notes. "You were held on Olympus for…" He left the question open ended, hoping Sam would answer. She did, but not in the way he'd hoped.

"I'm not sure."

"But you weren't found on Olympus. SG-3 found you on P4X-993. In the time you were a prisoner, were you ever taken anywhere else?"

"No."

"Who did you primarily deal with while on Tisiphone's homeworld?"

After a few beats of silence, "I don't know anything!" Sam's previously expressionless face was now contorted in anger; her chest was heaving and she sat at the edge of her chair, as though she were only seconds from bolting.

Jack paused for a moment before rising from his chair. The heated answer had come as a surprise to all of them. "Tell you what, if she thinks of anything, we'll let you know." He cast a sideways glance at Sam. She looked like a deer caught in the headlights. Jack wanted to get Sam out of this awkward situation.

Davis apparently felt the conversation wasn't over. "Sir, I can't-"

"Major Davis." This time it was Hammond. "You were well aware that this might happen before you even flew out. As Major Carter said, she was a prisoner at Tisiphone's compound. As such, she was not made aware of her captor's plans or dealings."

Davis closed his notepad and, pushing himself up, stood to his feet. "I don't want to be here asking questions anymore than Major Carter wants to answer them," he said, almost apologetically. "But I was sent here with orders. What am I supposed to tell them?"

"The truth," Jack told him. "Plain and simple. She doesn't know anything. And if they have a problem with that, well, there's not much we can do about it."

"No, I guess not." Davis gathered up his things. "I'll be here until tomorrow," he directed at Sam, who sat statuesquely in her spot. "Anything, no matter how insignificant you may think it is, could be of some use."

"Thank you, Major Davis." Hammond said, lifting his hand to the door, giving a not so subtle hint.

"Yes, sir. Thank you." Davis nodded to Jack and Sam as he took his leave.

"Major, are you all right?" Hammond queried after they were alone.

"I'm sorry, sir. That was out of line." Sam looked down, her anger replaced by embarrassment.

"It's okay. I understand this is difficult for you, and that if you had any pertinent information you would make us aware of it."

"Yes, sir."

Jack couldn't help but study Sam as she spoke to Hammond. She'd always been beautiful, but there was something in that moment that struck him. Though she was dressed in blue BDUs, like she used to wear, Sam's blonde hair cascaded around her face, giving her a new and slightly unfamiliar look. One that was different from the many other times he'd seen her dressed in the uniform.

"Colonel?"

Jack felt heat rise in his cheeks as he was caught gawking at his former 2IC.

"Yes?" he replied as coolly as he could.

"Could you please escort Major Carter back to her room?"

"Absolutely, General," he returned, eager to leave. Hammond wasn't letting on he'd noticed anything, but Jack still wanted to make a quick exit.

As they made their way back to Sam's quarters, Jack observed her gingerly touching her right shoulder.

"How's the shoulder?" he asked. The sling had come off and therapy had begun. The last of Sam's injuries, at least the physical ones, was well on its way to becoming a memory.

"Stiff."

Jack nodded. Sam had been rather uptight during the interview. Tense, on edge. He looked on as she rolled her shoulders uncomfortably.

He held the door open for her as they entered what had become her home.

"Here, have a seat." Jack pointed to a chair.

Sam sent him a questioning look in return. Jack motioned to the chair again. Reluctantly, she sat.

Jack moved behind her and Sam turned to follow him with her eyes. Placing his hands lightly on the tops of her shoulders, he could feel the tension that was present. "Carter, you're wound pretty tight," he informed her. "I'm no masseuse, but…" He gently prodded the muscles beneath his hands. At this, Sam flinched and pulled away from him.

"Don't." Uncertainty was evident on her features, trepidation lacing her voice.

Jack held up his hands, surrendering to her will. "I'm sorry." If anything, her reaction spoke to the necessity of a massage. She was about as uptight as a person could get. But he couldn't push her.

Sam closed her eyes and shook her head. "I mean…" She turned back around in the chair and inhaled deeply. "It's okay."

"Are you sure?" Jack ventured, surprised at the sudden change of heart.

A nod was his reply.

Jack reached out and pushed Sam's flaxen tresses out of his way, testing the water, so to speak. When she showed no adverse reaction to his touch, he continued. Pressing his palms down on her upper back, finally making full contact, Jack let Sam get used to their presence. Her breathing was slow and measured, as though she were concentrating on staying calm. Sam shifted, and for a split second, Jack thought she was getting up. Instead, she leaned forward a bit, giving him better access.

He began to squeeze gently, moving from either side of her neck and down along her shoulders. He repeated the process a few times, but Sam's tightly knit muscles refused to relax. Not giving up, he moved on to gently rubbing in a circular motion. Sam took in a breath.

"Okay?"

"Yeah," she breathed.

Swiftly nodding his head, Jack diligently worked. He was finally beginning to sense some of the tension melting away. Next, he moved his hands along the back of her neck in a fluid motion, one hand, then the other. Then he let his fingers make tiny circles at the base of her scalp.

"Like I said, I'm no pro, but…"

Sam sighed and leaned into his touch, clearly not troubled by the fact he was not a licensed masseuse.

Jack's face brightened at this sign of contentment. He returned to the gentle kneading, loosening up the rest of the muscles as best he could. "Better?" he wondered as his hands finally came to a rest.

Sam's eyes slid open at the cessation of movement. Then, abruptly, she sat up straight, her body rigid once again, her walls up once more.

"Yes," she replied. She ran her hand along the back of her neck, where Jack's hands had been moments before. "Thank you."

"Anytime." Jack sent her a smile. "Anything else I can get you? Foot massage? Mud mask? Aromatherapy?"

"Sir." It was a soft reproach, lightly chastising him for his playful behavior.

Jack shrugged as Sam stood and pushed the chair under the table. "Okay, so this isn't the O'Neill Day Spa. But is there anything you need? SG-1's heading out at 1500 hours, so before I go…"

Sam turned and paused, considering his offer. Her light eyes rose to meet his.

"There is."

o-O-o

Nervously, Sam waited. She couldn't quite believe she'd asked Jack to do her this favor, but it was the right thing to do. It had to be done. She had to thank SG-3.

She despised the idea of others coming into her room, but she'd slowly been working up to this. It was something she thought about, but always pushed to the backburner, telling herself she wasn't ready. But after her conversation with Major Davis, this would be a walk in the park. Not only was it time to do this, she _wanted _to do this. She was so thankful to the team who'd saved her, and that sense of gratitude was numbing some of her anxiousness.

Jack finally returned. "It took a little finagling, but I got them. They just got back from beautiful P4X-483, but when I told them…"

Sam understood and she was ready. She gave Jack the go ahead with a slight tip of her head.

Jack opened the door and SG-3 walked in. First came Colonel Reynolds, then Major Warner, Captain Michaels, and Dr. DeVargas. Sam rose from her bed, almost standing to attention. These were the people who, along with the Tok'ra, had rescued her. She would be eternally grateful to them. They would never understand what they saved her from.

Taking a deep breath, Sam made her way to the group. She cautiously met each of their gazes. Not one was looking at her with pity. Warm eyes, and even a few smiles, greeted her. This made Sam feel immensely better.

"Major Carter, it's good to see you," Reynolds said, his voice nothing but earnest.

Sam clasped her hands together apprehensively. She'd already been home for a month and not said anything to them. She just needed to spit it out, she kicked herself mentally. "Thank you. Thank you for not leaving me there." She said it hastily and almost too quietly to be heard, but she meant every word.

"You're more than welcome, ma'am," Warner replied, accepting her thanks. "We're glad to have you back."

The others nodded in agreement.

"You know you don't have to thank us, Major," DeVargas reassured her.

"She's right," Michaels chimed in. "We were just doing our jobs, just like you all those times you saved our rears."

Sam almost had to smile at the young captain. They seemed genuine. Even if they had just been doing their jobs, they'd saved her in so many ways.

Reynolds checked his watch. "Sorry to have to run, but General Hammond is waiting for our debriefing."

"It's okay, Colonel. Thanks for stopping by," Jack said appreciatively.

"Sure thing."

Sam and Jack watched the quartet as they filed out the door. Turing to his companion, Jack's eyes held admiration and a hint of surprise.

Glancing down, Sam bit her lip. She was surprised at herself, too. However, she did feel better. No one would ever truly comprehend how much gratitude she had for those who had brought her home.

Sam sat down on her bed. She felt tired, even though she had done nothing strenuous, at least not physically. Her mind was preoccupied with so much. Sighing, she scrubbed a hand over her face. She'd had enough excitement for one day.

TBC in 'A Place to Start'


	61. A Place to Start

Ch. 60 A Place to Start

"Checkmate."

Cassie sighed. "Again, Sam?" She'd been to the SGC a few times now to see Sam. Her classes were over until the fall semester, and her mother had finally relented and let her begin visiting. While she was very happy to spend time with Sam, her friend was crushing her in chess.

"What's Carter up to now?"

The two women looked up from the gameboard as Jack entered the room.

"She's already beaten me twice, Jack," Cassie bemoaned.

Jack smiled broadly at Sam. It was good to know she was playing assertively. She'd been so passive. "Nice!" he commented. "So, um, I was wondering if you ladies would like to go get some lunch?"

"No."

"Yes!" Cassie's excited agreement overshadowed Sam's quiet response.

"It's lemon chicken day," he coaxed. "And there's jello." Jack was hoping to get Sam out of her room and around the SGC, but she had uncertainty written all over her face. "Come on. The lunch crowd is gone," he assured her, glancing at his watch.

"I'll go with you, Jack." Cassie stood and looked expectantly to Sam. "Besides, I'm starving, aren't you?"

Jack noticed the brief shadow cross Sam's face. Cassie wasn't really paying attention to what she was saying. Sam knew what it was like to be hungry, even to be starving. It was probably a term the woman would never casually toss around again. And chances were good that Sam wasn't hungry now, but she didn't say anything.

The blonde clearly looked unhappy, but finally she shrugged. "Okay."

Jack's eyebrow arched in surprise. "Good. I think there's cake, too."

Sam rose to her feet. She was dressed in a black t-shirt and jeans, and she ran her hand nervously through her hair.

"You look fine, Sam. This is no different than going to the surface. Anyone we may see will be thrilled to see you," Cassie told her.

Sam didn't reply, but the young woman was proven to be right. The commissary was nearly empty when they entered. A handful of airmen paused their conversation to say hello to the trio, and the server, who was quite happy to see Sam out and about, grinned as he welcomed her.

"Major Carter, it's good to see you!"

"You, too."

"We still have blue jello, just how you like it."

Sam sent him a small smile as he began to pile their plates with chicken, mashed potatoes, corn on the cob, and bread.

Jack saw Sam hesitate the briefest of moments when her tray was handed to her. It was something she'd done a thousand times, yet today, it was almost a new experience. He watched her turn her eyes to him as she grasped her tray. She was waiting for him to lead them to a seat.

He tilted his head in the direction of the far corner. No one would bother them there. He led the way with Sam behind him and Cassie bringing up the rear. They began to eat in silence, but both Jack and Cassandra paused as Sam picked at her chicken.

"No good?" Jack wondered.

"A little dry."

"Well, we avoided the lunch crowd, didn't we?" Cassie pointed out. "It's a little…old," she laughed. "It's way better than the food the cafeteria at school dishes out. Though, I'd rather cook for myself!" The teen's sour expression relaxed as she looked to Sam. "What about you?

"What?"

"Would you rather be cooking for yourself?"

"Um…"

"Cass, Carter doesn't cook," Jack winked.

"Yes, she does!" Cassie lightly punched Jack in the arm. "I bet she'd rather be at home than here anyway."

Sam's eyes widened a bit as their attention turned to her. "Oh. Uh… I wouldn't mind being at home," she admitted.

"Well, you should talk to my mom about it," Cassie suggested.

Jack tipped is head slightly in agreement. Sam had been home for a while now, and they couldn't keep her confined to the base forever.

"Maybe," Sam replied tentatively.

"Your dad kept your place pretty much the same. We'd just have to stock you up with the essentials. Make sure you don't have to eat dry chicken," Jack teased. "You really should talk to Fraiser about it." He wanted Sam to be the one to bring it up. Jack didn't mind fighting her battles and being her voice, but she couldn't rely on him to always be the one to do it.

Again Sam answered with a soft "Maybe."

"How about some jello instead?" Jack couldn't stand to watch Sam pick at the chicken any longer. She nodded. "And banana pudding, Cass?"

"Yep!"

"Talk amongst yourselves then," Jack told them, getting to his feet.

Cassandra watched after Jack as he headed for the desserts. "He's different now."

Sam frowned slightly, a questioning look adorning her features.

"Sam, when he thought you were…dead…" The thought was still unnerving to the youth, but she continued. "He wasn't the Jack we know. He was sad. Lost. He just wasn't the same. I missed you, Sam, but I missed him, too."

The frown on Sam's face deepened as she contemplated the comment.

Cassie nonchalantly started eating again as Jack turned back around with their desserts in hand. She spoke lowly. "You make him happy, Sam. I hope you can see that."

Sam directed her gaze to Jack. When he caught her looking at him, his lips twitched into a grin. Her expression softened, but she didn't quite return the smile.

Maybe Cassie was onto something.

o-O-o

Entering Daniel's office, Jack searched the area for the archaeologist. He found him seated across the room at his computer.

"Hey, Jack," Daniel greeted, his head peeking up above the top of his monitor.

"Daniel," Jack returned. "Whatcha doing?" He sauntered over and waited for an answer.

Daniel typed in a few words then decisively hit the enter key. "Researching. How's Sam?"

"Oh, you know…" Jack rocked back on his heels. Nothing much had changed with their friend. She seemed to be floating through life, which was completely un-Sam like. She had always been the most driven person he'd known. "What are you researching?" he asked, hoping to change the subject.

"Have you ever heard of Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?"

No such luck. "I take it that's a step up from PTSD." Jack was well aware of _that _disorder.

"In a manner of speaking, yes. It has many of the same symptoms, but the big differences are the elements of prolonged exposure to trauma and captivity."

"What are you trying to say? That Carter has this?"

"You don't deny there's something wrong with her."

Jack sighed. There was undoubtedly something wrong with Sam, he just didn't like it.

"Sam was held for so long against her will. She was repeatedly victimized, her boundaries violated, completely disempowered. There was total control by another. It must have been overwhelming."

"Yeah, Daniel." Jack crossed his arms, not liking where this conversation was heading. "I get that. What's your point?"

"Don't you get what that does to a person?" Daniel stared at Jack for a moment, before blinking his blue eyes away. "You know, I know you do. Here. Read this anyway." Daniel turned the screen towards him and Jack scanned the page.

_Loss of feelings of safety and trust. Persistent sadness. Reliving traumatic events. Changes in personal relationships. Shame. Guilt. Loss of sense of self._

The list went on.

"Sound like someone we know?"

"She's getting better."

"A little, yes. Sam's strong. She's trying to put on a brave face for us. She shows us what she wants us to see. But when she can't hide it…" Daniel shook his head despondently. "Jack, she needs help to get better."

"You know she doesn't want that." Jack didn't know why he was still arguing, and doing such a pathetic job at it. Sam _did_ need help, but he wanted to protect her from reliving the pain, too.

"I know. I also know I'm not a psychologist, but I can tell you she has PTSD, whatever form it may be. We haven't been forcing the issue with her, but she's been home for almost two months. I'm worried about what will happen if she doesn't see someone."

"This won't be the first time someone has tried to convince her to go."

"No," Daniel agreed. "But maybe…maybe if we make the offer more appealing, she'll go for it."

o-O-o

"Sam?" Janet called as she knocked on the door. Pushing it open just a bit, she looked in. Sam was sitting on her bed. "How are you?"

Slight movement from her shoulders and head indicated she was fine, more or less.

"I've had an interesting afternoon," Janet commented, finding a place next to Sam on the bed.

"Oh?"

"Sam, I know you're aware of the concern for you. You know we all want what's best for you."

Sam's expression barely changed, and Janet knew she didn't want to hear what was next.

"And I know that you won't agree, but talking to someone may be good for you."

A discontented sigh escaped the blonde.

"I think you've come a long way, Sam, I do," Janet continued. "But there's still a long journey in front of you. There's been some chatter about you going home, and while I think that is the next step, I'm not sure I'm entirely comfortable with that."

Sam's arms wrapped around her midsection. She was silent.

Janet was well aware of what her friend was thinking. "If you can sit here and tell me the flashbacks and nightmares are gone, that you can function normally... If you can honestly tell me that, Sam."

There was no way Sam could, so she didn't say anything.

"Well, after a lot of discussion and thought, this is the agreement that I, General Hammond, and Dr. MacKenzie have come up with; you may go home, accompanied, whether it's by me, Cassandra, or someone from your team. And only if you promise to visit with Dr. MacKenzie twice a week and agree to take whatever medications we feel are necessary." Sam wouldn't like it and Janet had already wrestled with Sam over it, but therapy and medication, hand in hand, would help her.

"You will be transported to and from your sessions. Dr. MacKenzie has wanted to start therapy for some time now, and I agree. You know that it's standard procedure. The Colonel, Dr. Jackson, and Teal'c all saw him after they returned from Olympus. We've put this off as long as we possibly can." Janet studied Sam, waiting for an answer, a reaction, anything.

Finally Sam spoke, taking the bait. "But I can go home?"

"Yes," Janet nodded. "If you attend sessions as scheduled and keep up with your medications."

"Okay." The affirmative response was almost inaudible.

Janet beamed. "Good. I know it's not something you want to do, but it might help, Sam." If the Goa'uld couldn't get Sam to talk, Janet knew there was little chance anyone else could get her to. It was worth a try, though.

Sam delivered a scowl to Janet.

The doctor shrugged it off. "I'll start arranging for you to move home if you will attend your first session tomorrow morning. We'll do Mondays and Wednesdays, if that's okay?"

Sam shrugged reluctantly. She couldn't really argue.

"I will be by in the morning to get you, all right?"

Sam sighed. Just because she'd agreed to it didn't mean it meant a great deal to her. All she'd agreed to do was go. She hadn't agreed to talk.

o-O-o

"Major Carter? I have brought you dinner."

Sam was seated at the table, dinner plainly the last thing on her mind. "That's okay, Teal'c. You didn't have to do that."

Teal'c nodded in acknowledgement, but placed the tray on the table anyway. A small notebook sat in front of Sam. She didn't miss his curious look.

"MacKenzie gave me this. Ah...my first session didn't go so well. He says that…maybe this will help."

"You have written nothing," Teal'c noted. The page opened before his friend was blank.

"I don't know what to write."

"How do you feel?"

"I don't know."

Teal'c bowed his head slightly. "I see." After a moment, he spoke. "I believe you feel frustrated, Major Carter."

Sam cocked her head at him.

"Do you not?"

Sam bit her lip and stared down at her paper. She placed the pen to the journal, but couldn't make herself write. She poked her pen into the same spot over and over, until it went through the paper.

"Whether or not you write it, you still feel it."

Sam lifted her eyes to Teal'c. He was right, as he usually was. It didn't matter if she wrote about it, talked about it, thought about it or not…it had all still happened, and she couldn't change that. Bypassing the hole she had created, in flowing cursive she wrote 'frustrated'.

"Perhaps anger as well, at those who have hurt you."

"Are you my therapist?" Sam wondered as she penned 'anger' into the journal.

"I am a friend," Teal'c smiled gently. "I believe it is not that you do not know how you feel, but that you do not wish for others to know."

Sam shrugged, casting her gaze down. "It's not their business," she mumbled.

"No, it is not. However, it is their business to help you, and they cannot help you if they do not know where to begin."

Sam stared down at the journal. She wanted to get better, she supposed, but she wasn't ready to share her experience. This, though, was at least a place to start.

TBC in 'Home Sweet Home'


	62. Home Sweet Home

A/N: I apologize for my inconsistent postings as of late. I've been busy and tired and just not able to prepare/post a chapter each night. Also, thanks for reading and reviewing. I appreciate it!

Ch 61 Home Sweet Home

"It's harder than you think, making a person come back from the dead," Daniel mused as he carefully placed a loaf of bread in the front of the shopping cart.

Janet had agreed to let Sam return home. While Sam hadn't actually talked to Dr. MacKenzie, she had started going to see him, and that had been the deal. They all hoped that perhaps Sam getting away from the SGC would be beneficial. It would be good for her to distance herself from the constant reminders and attempt to lead a normal life again.

They'd all been hard at work recreating Sam's previous life. Everything from buying items for the house, to transferring money in and out of bank accounts, to the painstaking process of convincing certain institutions Sam was, in fact, not dead.

"You would know about that," Jack agreed as he rolled the shopping cart through the store.

"Jack, I'm serious."

"So am I. At least Carter still has her home. We had to find you a new place."

"And I'm enjoying it very much, thank you," Daniel replied with a slight roll of his eyes.

"Now you're not being serious."

"Yes, I am."

"No, you're not."

"Am."

"Not."

Teal'c cleared his throat, cutting off the childish argument. "What else shall we purchase for Major Carter's return home?"

"Uh, how about some microwave dinners? So she doesn't have to cook."

"But someone will be there with her. We could feasibly cook a few nights a week."

"Indeed."

"Maybe something simple, like lunchmeat sandwiches and salads?" Daniel proposed.

"How about something she'll actually eat?"

"She'll pick at everything, Jack. It's a mental state, not whether or not she likes what you placed in front of her."

"I know that."

"Then why…never mind." Daniel shook his head as he grabbed some coffee. "I think we can agree on this."

"Tell you what, why don't we split up and each pick out a couple meals we would be comfortable preparing. Then let's meet up at the front at say…oh…3:00?" Jack put forward.

"Very well," Teal'c agreed.

"That actually makes sense, Jack."

Jack narrowed his eyes momentarily at Daniel. "Well, thanks. But seeing as how Fraiser is bringing Carter home at 6:00, we don't have much time." Jack pushed the cart forward and disappeared around the corner of the aisle.

"Jack, the cart!"

"Get your own!"

o-O-o

Teal'c pulled warm breadsticks out of the oven, the smell of garlic filling the room. Just as he placed them on the stovetop, Daniel sprinted in from the study.

"They're here! Are we ready?"

Jack emerged from the back of the house where he had been tidying up the two bedrooms and bathroom. "Ready as we'll ever be. Toss the bread in the basket, Teal'c."

"Should we not let it cool prop-"

"No."

Teal'c did as he'd been asked, then set the steaming basket on the table. Along with the bread was spaghetti and Caesar salad. The table was set for six, and though it would be a tight squeeze, they were ready for Sam's dinner.

Soon the door cracked open. Expecting to see Janet in the lead, they were pleasantly surprised to see Sam enter first. A bag was slung over her shoulder, and behind her was Cassie, toting a bag as well.

"Welcome home," Teal'c greeted.

Sam nodded her acknowledgment, but her attention was elsewhere. She looked around her home, taking in what was the same and what was different. For a moment, she seemed lost in thought, but then she stepped forward, setting her bag down.

"Cooking?" she questioned, a hint of astonishment in her voice.

"You couldn't very well come home to an empty house with no food, could you? Welcome home, Carter," Jack grinned.

"I'm so glad you're here, Sam. We just wanted to… Um, where's Janet?" The archaeologist registered they were missing one.

"Mom's tied up. Major Truman got bitten by something off world. A snake…spider...something. Anyway, she's pretty sure he's going to be fine, but she wanted to monitor him and run some tests. So I brought Sam home!" Cassie smiled broadly.

"Carter, I'm so sorry your first time back in a car was with her behind the wheel," Jack teased good-naturedly.

"Jack O'Neill, I am a good driver!" Cassie cried indignantly. She crossed her arms. "Tell him, Sam."

"I was fine," Sam assured them all. Her gaze fell on the full dining table. "It looks great, guys. Thank you."

"We hope everything will be to your liking," Teal'c bowed slightly.

"We can take the grand tour after dinner," Jack told them as his stomach grumbled. "Let's eat!"

o-O-o

Sam lay in her darkened room. Her heart was beating in her throat and her body was covered in sweat. Her fingers nervously gripped the sheets at her side. Another night disturbed by nightmares was nothing new, but this one had really gotten to her. Though she had woken herself up from the dream, she still felt the same, horrible trepidation.

That something terrible had happened to Jack.

She couldn't shake it. No matter how long she lay there and tried to convince herself she was at home and that everything was fine, the worry was eating away at her.

Throwing her covers off in frustration, Sam sat up. She eyed the door for a moment before shaking her head. It was ridiculous. She would _not_ get up and check on Jack. But it wasn't getting any better; her apprehension wasn't fading. She _had_ to make sure he was safe.

Hesitantly, Sam crept to the door and stuck her head out into the hall. Teal'c had fallen asleep on the couch watching a late night sci fi movie marathon. Daniel had curled up in the large lounge chair, and Cassie was in the remaining chair. Jack had taken the guest bedroom. He'd gone to bed early, complaining of a backache, though Sam figured he just wanted the bed.

Sam tiptoed down the hall, doing her best not to alert anyone she was awake. She didn't want anyone questioning what she was doing; she knew she wouldn't want to explain.

Jack's door was already cracked, and she pushed it open. Sam was sure he would hear her enter the room, but she had to see for herself. It was a risk, but she had to ensure he was okay.

The light from the hall cast a wash of orangish light across Jack's sleeping form. He was sprawled on his stomach, his cheek resting contentedly on an overstuffed pillow. The comforter on the bed came up to his midsection; his chest was bare and the well sculpted muscles in his back were visible.

Sam exhaled the breath she'd been holding. He was okay. But something gave her pause and she stepped closer.

A silent gasp of dismay flew from her lips. His back was crisscrossed with scars. He hadn't had those before, Sam was certain of it. They looked well healed, so it hadn't been recent either.

Her hand delicately ran across the welts on his back. There could only be one person responsible. Just one.

Sam's touch, though feather light, caused Jack to stir.

"Carter?" he mumbled, squinting at her as he was roused from his slumber. "You okay?"

"He did this to you."

"What?" He turned to his side and Sam's hand fell away.

"I'm so sorry," she whispered.

Jack's confusion was fading and he was beginning to understand. He sat up in the bed so that he was face to face with Sam. "It's okay."

"No, it's not." She folded her hands in her lap and looked away. "I know why you did it, but in the end, what good did it do?"

"If it kept him away from you, even for a second, it was worth it."

Sam didn't let his comment draw her gaze, but for a moment her restless hands stilled as she absorbed his words. Finally, she nodded her head in acknowledgement and thanks. Then she slipped from the room as stealthily as she had entered it.

o-O-o

_She was crying. Sobbing and holding his hand. The pain was intense._

_She was being tortured, but he couldn't stop it. He couldn't save her from this._

_She was holding him. Clinging to him like a scared child._

_She was sick. There was nothing he could do. Each hour she became weaker. _

_She was dying. He was begging her not to give up._

_She was in his arms. They were almost home. _

_Then he'd lost her._

Jack set his feet on the cold floor and rested his head in his hands. Sounds of Sam's screams and her struggle to breathe rang in his ears. Images of torture and death resounded through his mind. Jack sighed as he stood. He had an idea that the same thing that had sent Sam to his room not long before was about to send him to hers.

He approached her room and saw a thin strip of light emerging from the crack between the door and floor. He knocked gently, then turned the knob and pushed the door open no more than necessary. He looked in and found Sam staring right back at him.

She was sitting against the headboard, her arms wrapped around her drawn up legs. Jack walked around the side of the bed, her eyes trained on him the whole time. Sitting down on the bed, he too drew his feet to his chest and held them in place with his arms. He turned to Sam.

"Can't sleep either?"

Sam shook her head.

"Sleeping pills didn't work?"

"Usually don't."

Jack nodded in response. Then he noticed a small box sitting next to Sam. Lifting it from the bed, he opened it. Inside was a mix of items from Sam's Air Force career; among other things, there was an assortment of medals and her Major's oak leaves.

Watching as Jack sifted through the box, Sam spoke up. "I see a couple new ones in there. Posthumously awarded I guess." She shook her head. "It's such a strange feeling."

"It's not enough." With a snap, Jack closed the lid. "You've done so much, given so much, there's no way you can be properly repaid."

Sam shrugged. "It's okay."

"It's not. My God, Sam. You _died_, and you say it's okay?"

"Sir…"

It was Jack's turn to shrug. He wouldn't be able to convince Sam. Neither of them were in it for the recognition or the glory, but those Sam had defended with her life, who she had sacrificed her very soul for, would never thank her. Or if they did, not in any suitable way. Not even he could. There was only one thing he could really do.

When Sam had died, he'd wanted to quit, but he couldn't. Not until he'd made Tisiphone and Mal'tek pay for what they had done. To avenge Sam and to make sure they wouldn't hurt anyone else he cared about. He'd still not succeeded, and again Jack felt like he was failing her.

"Sir?" This time it was a question.

He was certain that if she met his eyes, she would see the disgrace reflected there. Jack did it anyway, and the blue pools almost caught him off guard. Her eyes were stunning, as always. She was beautiful, as usual. But sometimes he just had to stare. To take her in. To relish in the fact that she was alive.

"Jack…" She was worried.

Jack shook his head. "You'll never know what it was like, losing you-"

"Sam?" Daniel's face appeared from around the door, sans glasses. His eyes widened when he saw Sam wasn't alone. "Oh…sorry. Am I interrupting something?"

"No," the two answered in unison, effectively ending their conversation.

"I thought I heard something. I just wanted to make sure you were okay." Daniel fully entered the room, pulling the door halfway closed behind him.

"I'm fine, Daniel," Sam replied as Jack handed her the small box and she set it on the bedside table.

Daniel came to sit on the corner of Sam's bed. "Fine people aren't up at," he glanced at his watch. "3 AM."

Sam's lips tilted in a frown, as did Jack's. "We're _all_ not fine then, Daniel. Just join the party."

"What party?"

Three heads rotated toward the door. Teal'c stood in the doorway, his gaze inquisitive.

"Come on in, Teal'c. There's a spot left," Jack gestured to the empty corner across from him.

"What are we doing?" Teal'c wondered after finding his seat.

"I don't know," Daniel squinted. "Jack?"

"What does it look like we're doing, Daniel? Keepin' Carter company."

"Oh."

"I see." Teal'c's head bowed in understanding. "However, is this acceptable to Major Carter? Does she wish our presence in her room at this hour?" The men looked to Sam, who had quietly been observing them.

Sam had often found that she slept better when the guys were around. Their company was comforting to her, calming. It was far more effective than drugging her to sleep. Now all three of them were camped out in her room, questioning if it was okay for them to be there. It was. In fact, it was more than okay.

It was perfect.

TBC in 'Oh, Brother'


	63. Oh, Brother

A/N: Thanks for the kind words! I feel fine and more rested, so hopefully I will be posting as before. I promise I won't leave you hanging!

Ch. 62 Oh, Brother

Sam woke the next morning with bleary eyes and heavy limbs. She'd been in a deep sleep. She lay in her bed for a moment, waiting for her eyes to focus and her body to wake up. She could hear movement from the kitchen and smell breakfast cooking. Then she heard voices, one of which wasn't supposed to be there.

Pulling back the sheets, Sam set her feet on the floor. She listened intently until she heard it again. Then she headed out of her room and to the kitchen.

"Dad?"

Her father was sitting at the table along with Teal'c, Cassie, and Janet. Daniel and Jack busily prepared breakfast, which appeared to include Jack's 'famous' omelets.

"Hey, kiddo." Jacob rose from his seat and wrapped his arms around Sam.

She had seen Jacob a time or two since she'd first returned, but Sam still felt apprehensive in his company. Suppressing the panic she felt start to rise as her body became alive at the presence of Selmak, Sam closed her eyes and squeezed her father's neck. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to come see how you were, and Dr. Fraiser told me you'd moved home. She said she was going to come by, so I hitched a ride."

Sam noticed he was dressed in civilian attire, not his normal Tok'ra garb. "I'm glad you came."

"It's good to see you doing well." Jacob's eyes were warm with pleasure as he gazed at his daughter.

Sam returned a tiny smile.

Jacob cast a glance at the group before pulling Sam to the side. "I've been wanting to talk to you about something."

"What?"

"About your brother."

Sam suddenly felt nervous. She hadn't seen her brother yet. For a long time, she just hadn't been in any condition to see him. She knew Mark hadn't been told she was back, because if he had, he would have been demanding to see her and he would have never taken no for an answer. There was no reason to involve him until the right time; what he didn't know didn't hurt him had been the mindset.

"What about him?"

"I think it's time he knows."

"Dad…" Just the thought made her palms slick with sweat.

Jacob nodded. "I know, Sam, but he's your brother. He needs to know you're okay."

"I know, but what's the…story?" This would be a doozy.

"You've been deep undercover for the Air Force. That no one, not even me, knew you were alive. Only those at the highest level were made privy to your mission."

Sam shook her head. "He won't believe it." From her father's look, he thought so, too.

"It'll have to do. He can't know the truth."

Sam had to agree. She wouldn't want him to know the grim reality anyway. "He'll be upset."

"And relieved," Jacob returned pointedly. "I'll be here for a few days. I'd be happy to arrange for Mark to come here and be here with you when it's time."

Sam's stomach twisted anxiously. Her father was right. She needed to see her brother, but this reunion would not be easy.

None of them ever were.

o-O-o

Jack, Daniel, Teal'c, and Jennifer dragged into the infirmary. P2X-001 had not been very pleasant, and they were hoping to get through their post mission check up as quickly as possible. The hot, sandy planet had left them all desiring a shower.

Jack sat on one of the infirmary beds, dusting the sand out of his hair. Then he lifted his head, almost doing a double take. "Cass, what are you doing here? I thought you were at Carter's."

After the first night, a mission had come up for SG-1, but Sam had been left in the very capable hands of Cassandra and Jacob. And now, for whatever reason, Cassie was at the SGC.

The girl's eyes narrowed. "I got kicked out of the house."

"You got what?"

"Okay, not kicked out, but I got the hint I should leave." Cassie leaned in and spoke in a quiet voice. "Mark's there."

"Oh, wow. That's today? Wonder how that's going," Daniel mulled as he held out his arm for the nurse to take his blood pressure.

"Wish I could say, but I'm here." Cassie tilted her head and sighed. "I get that it's a family thing, but oh, to be a fly on that wall!"

"Cassandra, stop being so nosy," Janet ordered as she shined a pen light in Jack's eye.

Cassie rolled her eyes. "Don't deny you're curious, too."

Janet ran her hands along Jack's neck. "I think that everything will be fine. Open up, Colonel." Jack's jaw dropped and he let Janet inspect his throat.

"No Goa'uld infestation today, huh, Doc?"

"It would appear not, sir."

Cassie looked on as Janet checked on each member of SG-1. "Well, we don't know Mark that well. I say he'll be upset at all the secrecy."

"It's part of the territory," Jennifer piped up. "I think he's used to it by now, with both his father and sister having been involved with top secret assignments. I mean, he _has_ to suspect this isn't deep space radar telemetry."

"Possibly. However, believing a loved one dead for as long as Mark Carter has is not simple to reverse. It will be much for him to process," Teal'c responded.

"He should just be glad she's okay, is what I think," Jack said. "That's all he really needs to know."

"Even if he did have clearance, I'd say the truth is too upsetting."

Five pairs of eyes flew to Daniel and an awkward silence followed.

"Ya think, Daniel?"

"Well, it's true, Jack."

Cassie shook her head to shake off the unease. "I'm staying with Sam tonight, so I'll get the lowdown."

"Don't push her," Janet warned. "This will be just as difficult for her as it is for her brother."

"I know, and I won't. Maybe I'll just ask Jacob. That might be easier."

"I trust you'll use discretion," Janet replied as she bustled around the room.

Cassandra smiled. "I've also been thinking, we should celebrate Sam moving home!" she proposed excitedly. "We could go out to a nice restaurant and everything. I think it would be fun. She deserves something special."

"Uh, I don't know, Cassie. Sam might not be comfortable with that," Daniel answered with a shake of his head.

"Look, I'll talk to Sam about it. It will be good for her, I know it."

"We'll see about that." Jack grimaced as Janet prepped a needle. "Oy, my favorite part."

"What part?" Cassie inquired.

"The part where you leave," Janet told her, setting down her needle and placing her small hands on her hips.

Cassie laughed, realizing what was about to occur. "Ouch, Jack! Where you gonna get that?"

o-O-o

"I don't know, Cassandra."

"Aw, Sam. We have something to celebrate! Things went well with your brother today." Cassie paused at Sam's look. "Mostly well…sorta well?" She didn't have all the details, but Mark had apparently taken things well enough, all things considered. Anger and joy had melded into a fairly decent reunion, but the family had a long journey ahead of them.

"Anyway, you're doing better and are at home now. Think about it," Cassie told Sam, an almost dreamy look on her face. "A night of fine dining and maybe some dancing. We'll find you a pretty dress and do your hair up. Mom and the guys will come, too. I've already picked out the perfect place. It's nice and quiet, not too crowded. We can-"

"Cassie," Sam cut her off.

"Sam." Cassie eyed her thoughtfully. "I know the idea of being in public makes you a bit nervous. Maybe even a lot. But are you going to stay inside this house for the rest of your life?"

"No…"

"I know I can't even imagine what happened to you, but I do know that if you let the Goa'uld control your life you won't get anywhere." Cassie grasped Sam's hand and pulled her down on the couch. "When Nirrti murdered my whole village…when she tried to kill me with the bomb in my chest…when I had no one…I was young, scared, and alone. You remember the nightmares I had, don't you?"

Sam nodded, biting her lip to stave off the moisture she felt gathering in her eyes.

"You were there for me. Jack, Daniel, and Teal'c were, too. You helped me get through it. You found me a wonderful home with Dr. Fraiser, with mom. I can never thank you all enough for what you've done. You helped me readjust to life. It's my turn to help you."

Sam listened, and while she found truth in the teen's words, she still wasn't quite convinced.

"I won't deny that I still have bad dreams sometimes, that sometimes things just suck," Cassie admitted. "The Goa'uld hurt me badly and I will never forget it. But I have tried to live my life the best I can. You have to realize, Sam, there _is _still joy in life."

Sam dipped her head, nodding slightly. "I know."

Cassie took this as a positive sign to keep going. "It's got to be slightly appealing to you, Sam. The idea of dressing up and going out, of wowing everyone with your knock-out looks. Of wowing Jack!" Cassie tried to mute her gleeful laugh. "Whoops, did I say that out loud?"

Sam rolled her eyes. "But Cassie, I have nothing to wear."

"Sure you do. I helped your dad go through your things back when…uh…you know. And anyway, I know what we kept. Haven't you looked in your closet?"

"Not really."

"Come on. I recall you having some nice, perhaps even sexy dresses," she winked.

"Cassandra!"

"What? Sexy is the appropriate word to describe some of your outfits," she called as she disappeared into the bedroom.

Reluctantly, Sam followed her.

Cassie had already pulled open the closet and commenced rifling through what remained of Sam's clothing. "Oh, see here!" She held up a dress. "The classic black dress. Very nice." She tossed the floor length gown to Sam, who, off guard, barely caught it. Carefully, she laid it out on the bed.

"A little red dress! I bet your legs would look fabulous in this. I wonder if those shoes are still where I put them…" she mumbled, digging deeper into the closet.

As Cassie searched, Sam's thoughts drifted. All the young woman wanted Sam to do was get out of her rut, to dress up and feel beautiful. To remember there was life beyond the walls she'd been confined to. To feel good about herself. And for the first time since she'd been back, Sam felt a tiny spark of interest in that notion.

Next, Cassandra yanked out a pastel pink dress. Holding it up to Sam, she pursed her lips. "Such a pretty color. I don't think this would wash you out." She threw that one down on the bed as well and continued on her mission. Cassie excised a few more items from Sam's wardrobe, and after careful consideration, put away all but two.

"Pink or black? Go try them on, Sam," the teenager commanded, her finger pointing in the direction of the bathroom.

"Whoa, Cass. I'm still not…" her voice trailed off, her shoulders sagging. "I'm not sure I'd feel comfortable in these."

"Sam, they're in your closet. Why buy them if you don't like them? You'll look gorgeous."

Sam shook her head in disagreement.

Cassie stepped towards Sam. "Is this about you not feeling pretty enough? Because if it is, I am the one who has to disagree. You're beautiful."

Sam sighed. The younger woman wouldn't understand unless she showed her. She set the gowns Cassie had forced into her hands down. She undid the first few buttons of her shirt and pulled the material back.

A small gasp escaped Cassie's lips. "Sam…"

The scar reached from under her left shoulder and across her chest until it disappeared beneath her bra.

Sam had a few scars down her right side from when the mine had caved in, including a particularly bad one on her arm. But this one hadn't been from the collapse…

_Sam stepped out onto the new planet with Mal'tek and the rest of his guard. It was a cloudy day, but it was humid and warm. She was already beginning to sweat._

_Mal'tek did not say a word, but forced her ahead. They trekked to a mining site, where two Jaffa met them._

"_This is Samantha Carter," Mak'tek introduced her. "Tisiphone wishes for her to work in the mines and live a life of hardship. She must only have what she needs to survive, no more, no less. You may do with her as you like, but should she draw her final breath, send word. Tisiphone desires her to lead a torturous existence, one from which there is no reprieve."_

_The Jaffa standing in her direct path grinned crookedly. "Very well. It is always good to have new workers. This one will be an excellent addition." His eyes traveled across Sam, studying her._

_Sam swallowed. She knew what it was like to work in the mines, with grueling days and unforgiving conditions. And by all indications, the Jaffa here would be no different than the ones she had already encountered. There would be no escape from their mistreatment. _

_Mal'tek pushed her forward but she resisted. It was strange, but she didn't want the First Prime to leave her there. She found herself actually wanting to go back with him. At least on Olympus she knew her captors and, for the most part, what to expect. With the leering Jaffa in front of her and the sounds of prisoners working agonizingly in the mines, she was hesitant to go._

"_Go with him, Samantha."_

_Sam didn't move to the waiting Jaffa. She looked toward Mal'tek, trying to think up something, anything, to say._

"_Woman, I said go!"_

_Before she could even decipher what was happening, she felt the cold of his metal knife blade against her skin. Felt it cutting and tearing at her flesh…_

"Sam?"

At Cassie's beckon, Sam found herself in the present once again.

"Sorry. I just…"

"No. Sam, I'm so sorry." Cassie grabbed Sam's shirt and pulled it closed. Then she wrapped her arms around her friend. "But you are still beautiful."

"I don't want them to see."

"The guys won't care."

Sam cared. She cared a lot. She wasn't being vain; it wasn't an aesthetic thing. It's what the scars meant. How and where she got them. What they reminded her of. She couldn't display those marks for the whole world to see.

Cassie could sense Sam's discomfort. "Maybe a shawl or a light jacket?" she tried to compromise, desperately trying to keep her plan afloat.

Sam shrugged.

Maybe.

TBC in 'The Eye of the Beholder'


	64. The Eye of the Beholder

Ch. 63 The Eye of the Beholder

Sam stared at the dress hanging in front of her. She massaged her forehead. Why had she approved of this?

Cassie hadn't pushed her into agreeing. Though her young friend had been around more frequently than anyone else, she hadn't hounded Sam about her idea. She'd dropped causal hints here and there, but that was all. Sam had been adamant at first. It was too much, too fast. She wasn't ready to take that next step. Then, after two weeks of mulling over the idea, and frankly becoming bored out of her mind, she'd agreed. Now it was too late to back out. Janet and Cassie would be there in five minutes, and then at precisely 6:00 PM that evening, they were going to meet the guys at the restaurant.

Almost disdainfully, Sam cast her eyes back at the gown. It was the black, floor length one. She'd worn it once to a wedding. It was dressy, but not overly so. The straps were spaghetti strap thin and silver accents adorned them. The neckline dipped slightly, and the dress flowed nicely from an empire waist. The back was open and almost too revealing. In fact, Sam felt the whole dress exposed her more than she'd like. That was why a nice shawl was draped on the hanger next to it.

Cassie was going to bring the shoes and jewelry. Sam's fingers absently rubbed her earlobe. She'd probably have to reopen the holes in her ears. It had been well over a year since she'd worn earrings. She was sure by the night's end she'd have sore ears and sore feet.

Sam hoped she'd make it through the evening. Rationally, she knew there was nothing to fear. She would be with her dearest friends. Though it was a public place, it was an upscale dining establishment. No one would harm her. Nothing would happen. It was normal. It was life. No big deal, right?

The doorbell rang and Sam turned from the dress. Making her way to the door, she checked through the peephole, and upon seeing her two best female friends, she unlocked the door and pulled it open.

She was greeted by the two brunettes. Janet wore a form fitting tank top that was golden in color. The sparkly top was paired with a black skirt and sandals. Cassie's yellow dress tied in halter top fashion around her neck and brushed the top of her knees. Both women looked wonderful and Sam's stomach twisted uneasily. How could she ever measure up?

"Watch out, Sam," Janet warned as she stepped inside.

Cassie raised her arms, laden with bags full of make up, curling irons, and who knew what else.

"I'm armed and dangerous."

o-O-o

Jack stood nervously at the entrance to the restaurant. Cassandra had stressed to the men of SG-1 that the evening called for nice attire. No jeans or t-shirts, she'd told them, but wear a tie. All three men had complied with her wishes, wearing slacks, a button down shirt, and a tie. Teal'c had also brought along a hat to cover his golden emblem. Jack wasn't a suit and tie type of person; in fact, he abhorred it. But for this occasion, he didn't mind so much.

Tugging at his tie, Jack scanned the area for the women. He was anxious for their arrival. It would be Sam's first foray back into the real world, but it was more than that. His heart was pounding in his chest because he knew how breathtaking she would be.

"Jack, you okay?" Daniel asked. He had noticed Jack's unrest.

"Yeah. Just wondering when they're gonna get here," came his indifferent reply.

"We're a little early," Daniel answered. He observed Jack contemplatively. "Sam's going to be fine."

"I believe so as well," Teal'c chimed in.

"I just hope she's ready for this. Cassie can be somewhat…ah…persuasive, when she wants to be."

"If Sam really doesn't want to come, she won't show up."

"We will find out soon," Teal'c replied.

The three men let silence fall between them. After a few more minutes the question lingering in their minds was answered.

Cassandra and Janet came around the corner, with Sam protectively placed between them.

Suddenly Jack felt his heart pound even faster, his breath hitch in his throat, his stomach turn somersaults, and his palms start sweating. He felt like a teen on a first date, but she was stunning. Absolutely, positively stunning.

The black dress she wore flattered her form, and though she wore a shawl over the top portion, it only added to the elegance of the ensemble. The sparkle of diamond studs shone from her ear lobes and from her neck. Her hair fell in loose curls.

"Hi!" Daniel called, waving his hand at the women to get their attention.

"Hey, guys," Cassie greeted.

"Good evening, Cassandra and Doctor Fraiser. Major Carter."

"Hello," Janet addressed the men. Then she glanced to Sam.

"Hi," Sam said quickly, sending them the smallest of smiles.

"Uh, shall we?" With a flourish of his arm, Jack motioned towards the building. "Our reservations are waiting." Jack held the glass door open as his friends filed past, one by one. He tried not to let his eyes linger too long on his former teammate as she moved by him.

As Cassie asked about their reservations, Jack came to stand by Sam. "How're you doing?" he wondered. He glanced sideways at her. Sam shuffled nervously before looking in his direction. A hint of eye make up brought out the blue of her eyes, eyes that darted around uncertainly.

"Okay."

"That's good," he replied, though Jack knew she was lying. She looked as though she were trying to disappear. He was slightly concerned, but he also knew this would be good for her. But at the first sign of any real distress, he wouldn't hesitate in whisking her out of there.

"Come on, guys," Cassie told them, indicating their seats were ready.

Sam moved forward of her own volition and Jack exhaled.

So far, so good.

o-O-o

"That had to be the best fish I've ever had," Janet said after she'd polished off the last of her dinner.

"Did I choose well?" Cassie asked with a smile.

"You did. This place is nice," her mother agreed.

"Not O'Malley's, but I guess it will do," Jack winked. The food had been wonderful. They'd all eaten most everything on their plates except Sam, whose salad sat only half finished.

The group of six had sat in a corner booth, with Sam wedged in the very middle, between Daniel and Janet. She hadn't said much during the course of dinner, but she'd seemed relatively relaxed. The restaurant was quiet, with the exception of gentle, melodious music flowing from the grand piano on the other side of the room. Thankfully, nothing had startled her or upset her. They could never be quite sure what would these days.

"I'd like to propose a toast," Cassandra announced. She smiled at Sam before she continued. "Sam, you are…amazing. That's all I can say. It makes me so happy to see you here. To see you overcome adversity. I'm so glad you took this step forward, and know we all love you. To Sam!" Cassie raised her glass.

Sam blushed as her friends' glasses clinked together. She thanked them quietly.

"You're welcome. I really do mean what I said. And you know, the night's not over yet. There is still fun to be had. Anyone want to dance?" Cassie proposed, pointing toward the handful of other couples swaying together on the dance floor.

"I would, Cassandra Fraiser." Teal'c stood, holding his hand out to the young woman. Cassie took it and slid out of the booth.

"Feel free to join us," Cassie casually tossed over her shoulder, the hint obvious.

"Oh…um…Janet?" Daniel began, rather awkwardly.

Janet laughed softly. "Sure. I'd love to dance," she bailed him out.

Jack stood so that Daniel could exit the booth. The two left together, trailing after Teal'c and Cassandra.

Jack's gaze traveled after his friends as they moved onto the dance floor. He looked back at Sam, whose eyes had followed his. "Um…do you want to dance?" If she wanted to dance, he would give her the opportunity.

Her attention turned back to him. "Not really," she admitted quietly, her face slightly reddening.

Jack nodded. He'd asked, she'd refused. That was fine. He wasn't sure he was comfortable with the idea either. He slipped back into the booth, scooting next to her.

They sat in a companionable silence. Sam poked at her salad a few times, taking one final bite before pushing the plate away for good. Jack took this time to once again appreciate Sam's appearance. There were so many reasons he loved the woman next to him, but he couldn't deny that from the moment he'd met her, her beauty had enthralled him.

"You look great."

Sam's head snapped up, as though his comment had caught her off guard. "Well, it was all Cassie. She-"

"Sam," Jack hushed her excuses. It was obvious she was trying to deflect the attention away from herself. "You look great."

Color flushed Sam's cheeks. "Thank you." She shifted in the booth, and her shawl slipped from her shoulder.

Jack saw a scar running across her chest. He vaguely remembered her having a bandage there; the wound had been fresh when she'd returned to Earth. It had left an angry scar, and Jack's eyes couldn't help but be drawn to it.

Sam noticed his eyes on her chest. Looking down, she readjusted her shawl to hide the blemish once more. Tonight her face seemed to be a permanent shade of pink.

"I'm sorry. I…" Jack stuttered.

"It's okay. Um…excuse me."

Sam escaped from the booth, her heels clicking against the hardwood floor as she moved toward the restroom. Once she entered, she was thankful to find the room empty. Sam pulled the shawl from her shoulders and tossed it to the countertop. She ran her hand across the scar that Jack had been staring at. Mal'tek had done it the last time she'd seen him. It was a constant reminder of him and everything that had happened.

Sam pressed her palms against the cool, granite counter and looked intently into the mirror. She'd never cut her hair, except for a simple trim. The longer tresses gave her a new look, which she figured was appropriate. She wasn't the same person any longer. The dress adorning her frame was gorgeous, but she felt out of place in it. Sam had such darkness hanging over her life, she felt she didn't deserve this. The chance to be beautiful, to be with wonderful friends.

The door opened and Cassandra's brunette head appeared from around the corner.

"Sam? What happened?" she queried, her voice saturated with concern. "Jack said that-"

"It's nothing. I'm okay." Sam replied hastily, grabbing her shawl and wrapping it around herself again.

Cassandra came to stand next to Sam. "Are you sure?"

Sam nodded. Perhaps she shouldn't have stalked out on Jack like that, but she'd needed to get away. She'd needed some time to recoup.

"You look so pretty tonight."

Sam eyed Cassie's reflection in the mirror. Everyone had commented on her appearance that evening. She knew them well enough to know they weren't just being kind, but she had a difficult time believing it. Sam bowed her head, refusing to look at herself in the mirror any longer.

"Come on, Sam. Look at yourself. _Look_."

"Look at what, Cassie? There's nothing to see."

"Don't say that. I wish you would see what I see, because if you did, you would see something amazing. I see a stunning, intelligent, strong woman. Someone I can look up to and admire. Don't be afraid to try and see it for yourself."

Halfheartedly, Sam peered back into the mirror.

"Do you feel beautiful?" Cassie whispered.

Sam had to admit, though the night had been increasingly awkward, for the first time in a long time she _had_ felt pretty. Like a little girl dressing up as a princess, or a teenager at her prom. It was something she thought she'd never feel again. After a brief hesitation, Sam nodded ever so slightly.

Cassie beamed.

"Then tonight has been a success."

TBC in 'The Cause'


	65. The Cause

Ch. 64 The Cause

Sam's feet pounded against the gravely path, her breath coming in heavy pants. Her legs throbbing and her chest burning, she slowed to a stop, as did her friend.

"Okay, Teal'c, that's good." Sam wiped her sweaty brow and took a deep breath of the morning air. She had started running at the park near her home in the early mornings. Whoever was fortunate, or unfortunate, enough to be staying with her got to go along.

It felt good to run as fast as she could. She rarely took a leisurely jog; it was fast and furious, her inner struggle driving her. Still, she wasn't in the shape she had been, and Sam knew Teal'c had taken her pace. He could have been far ahead, but he'd run next to her. Usually, she would never talk, just run along the path. Today, though, she could sense something was bothering Teal'c.

"Teal'c, you okay?" It was odd for her to ask; their roles were suddenly reversed.

"Let us walk, Major Carter."

Sam nodded and fell into step with him, waiting for him to speak. After what seemed like forever, he did.

"I am concerned for Rya'c."

Sam's brow knit in concern. "Why?"

Teal'c's eyes darkened. "He has fallen in love and wishes to marry."

"Okay…" Sam replied, stumped as to why Teal'c would be upset at the news. It sounded wonderful to her. She was glad Rya'c was happy and in love.

"Do you remember the Hak'tyl?"

Sam nodded. It hadn't been long after that they'd gone to Olympus.

"He wishes to marry Kar'yn, one of their warriors. He did not even consult me!" Hurt was evident in Teal'c's voice.

"I'm sorry." Sam had to wonder, though, if Rya'c really _did_ have to ask him, and if that was the real reason Teal'c was angry.

"He is too young. Rya'c does not know what love is, or how it weakens a warrior's resolve."

"Or it could strengthen it," Sam suggested. But what did she know about love?

Teal'c shook his head as if unsure. "He has pledged to help fight the Goa'uld."

"Why couldn't they fight together?" From what Sam knew of the Hak'tyl, they were formidable warriors. Why wouldn't Teal'c be pleased Rya'c had chosen one he could fight side by side with? Then again, she knew the drawbacks of that.

Teal'c stopped and turned to Sam. "Major Carter, I had to choose between the cause and my family. It caused me great pain. I do not wish the same fate to befall Rya'c."

Sam bowed her head. She knew what it was like, to have to choose. She'd chosen the cause long ago, and even now, it still had a grip on her.

o-O-o

The wind breezed past Sam, and she wished that it would catch her worries and carry them way. But it didn't work like that. Never had, never would.

The evening was warm, and Sam had gone to sit outside. She liked to spend time outdoors. After being trapped in the caves and mines, then subsequently being held at the SGC, she enjoyed the freedom she had here. To wander in and out as she pleased, to relish the fresh air.

But tonight was one of those nights, she could already tell. Sam wanted to empty her mind of the images that were playing there. The memories that just seemed to pop up and torment her.

Sam did have to admit that things were getting better, thanks to a number of reasons. She'd been going to therapy twice a week for about a month. At first, it consisted mostly of silence. Sam refused to talk to him. She would write in the journal MacKenzie had provided, and he would use that as a place to start their sessions. He'd ask Sam about it, but she would never elaborate. Then he would give her questionnaires, the questions he asked but that she would never answer. Yes, she'd write something on the paper, but only the bare minimum. She was making a good faith effort, which she had to; otherwise, she feared they'd send her back to the SGC.

Then it became sessions of MacKenzie talking to her instead of waiting for her to talk. Explaining what had happened wasn't her fault. Things she could do to start healing. Ways to cope. Blah, blah, blah. She'd been prescribed anti-depressants, which she had been taking. Whoever stayed with her made sure of it. There were sleeping pills for when she had trouble sleeping, but the doctor wasn't as strict about those. The medications seemed to help, but not as much as being free from the SGC and having her friends around. And not as much as time and distance helped dull the pain.

"Sam…what's up?" Daniel, who'd been cleaning the kitchen after dinner, was now apparently done. He sat next to Sam, and nudging his glasses up, looked over at her.

Sam rubbed her palms against her eyes, a poor attempt at clearing her mind. "Daniel, what's wrong with me?"

"Um… What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean."

Daniel cast a sympathetic glance to Sam. "You've been through a lot, Sam. It takes a while to heal. Is there anything I can do?"

"Not unless you can erase my memory," she muttered.

"Maybe you need to start talking to MacKenzie. It might help to get some of this out in the open. Believe it or not, talking helps. If you keep it bottled up-"

"I've heard this all before, Daniel."

"Well, it's true. If you continue to go to therapy and keep taking your-"

"It doesn't help. _He_ doesn't help!" Sam's tone was acidic.

"How can I help if you keep cutting me off?"

"I'm sorry," Sam groaned at herself. It wasn't like her to snap at Daniel. "See what I mean?"

Laying a hand on Sam's shoulder, Daniel took it all in stride. "Hey, you still have that punching bag in the basement?"

Sam lifted her head. "Yeah."

"Come on."

Sam followed Daniel inside and down the stairs. He flipped on the light and cast the basement in a faint yellow glow.

"Whatever happened to that Stargate Orlin built?" he pondered, looking around.

"Taken for study."

"Oh, of course," Daniel replied sardonically. He tossed Sam a pair of gloves. "Here ya go."

Sam pulled hers on. "It's been a while."

"It's like riding a bike." Daniel chuckled. "Oh, Jack would like that cliché." He took a swing at the bag. "See? Easy."

The two took turns boxing the bag. Like Sam's runs, this felt good. Beating out her frustrations against the red bag was far better than sitting through a session with MacKenzie.

After a few minutes with the only sound being the contact of their fists against the bag, Sam spoke up. "How is it…out there?" She hadn't asked in a while.

"Well, the super soldiers have basically been eliminated. As for Anubis, no one knows what's happened to him. Once Ba'al and Tisiphone defeated him, he kinda dropped off the face of the planet…galaxy. One can only assume he's _not_ dead. He's kind of hard to kill."

Sam nodded in agreement. If Anubis were still around, he'd lost all of his armies, resources, and respect. If he were to ever gain power again, it would likely take many generations for him to reclaim his place in the galaxy, if ever. And if the two System Lords were done with Anubis, chances were, they were next.

"Ba'al and Tisiphone are still in charge, with no real threats. Not even us, apparently. We've lost a lot of good people to the cause." Daniel delivered his most powerful punch yet.

There it was again, 'the cause'. For something so many people were fighting for, it seemed to screw up a lot of lives. Sam wanted to see the cause be worth it. She wanted to see the sacrifices pay off one day. She, too, hit the bag as forcefully as she could.

That day wasn't today.

o-O-o

Alone. Sam was alone, and had been for about a week. SG-1 had been on an extended offworld mission. It was nerve-wracking, not knowing what was happening, not being there. But Janet had called to give her updates whenever they checked in. Janet herself had been busy, pulling a few all-nighters even. Sick and injured soldiers and an overhaul to the medical ward's computer system had kept her busy. Cassie was with a friend from college and wouldn't be back until the next week.

Sam was relatively proud of herself for managing the week alone. The nights had, honestly, been a little scary at first. The last night she could remember being completely alone had been on a far off planet. She had been the quintessential definition of alone there. Here on Earth, she'd had nurses, guards, or friends around. During the past week, a few nights had been spent wide awake. Some had been spent on the couch. A couple actually in the bed. But none had been restful.

To keep herself busy, Sam had continued to take her runs in the mornings and box in the evenings. She'd read the books in her office and considered starting to write her own. She'd called Mark a few times. She'd watched the few DVDs she did have, and then even watched some of _The __Simpsons_ sets Jack had left. She'd cleaned the house top to bottom, twice.

Sam was bored. _So_ bored. Not long before she could have stared at the wall for hours and been fine. She supposed it was a good sign that she wanted new things to occupy her mind. Living alone also gave her the chance to reassert her independence.

She'd gone so far as to cook full dinners for herself. She never ate much of it and disliked cleaning afterwards, so that novelty soon wore off. The two previous nights she'd had microwave dinners, and tonight she was carefully constructing a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to eat.

Throwing the knife in the sink, Sam sighed. At least there was one good thing about dirty dishes. It gave her something to do later.

She grabbed her plate and a glass of water and headed for the living room. She wouldn't even bother eating at the table. But a knock on the door caused her to detour. Sam squinted through the peephole. Her boring dinner was forgotten as she focused on the figure on her porch.

"Sir!" she greeted Jack, setting her plate to the side as she pulled the door open for him.

"Hey, Carter."

"How was the mission?"

"Oh, you know how they go," he shrugged.

"Yes, sir. Come in."

As Sam closed the door behind him, Jack spotted her dinner. "Carter, please tell me you haven't been eating PB&J the whole time we've been gone!"

Sam shook her head. "Just tonight."

"Well, I'm hungry. Got any more?"

"Sure."

Sam helped Jack get the things out for his own sandwich and soon the two were on the couch eating.

"How've you been?" There was a hint of concern in his voice. It had been a long week.

"Okay. Maybe a little…bored," she admitted with a flush of her cheeks.

"You bored? Wow."

"Well, it's gotten a little monotonous."

"Is that so?" Jack licked a drop of jelly from his finger, then looked at his sandwich, almost thoughtfully.

Sam raised her eyebrow. What was he thinking?

"Well, since we were hard at it for a week, Hammond's given us some downtime. And I was thinking about heading up to the cabin. And, uh, I was thinking maybe…"

"Thinking what, sir?"

"You see, there are these fish up there. This big, I hear." Jack held out his hands, leaving considerable space between them.

Sam had to hide her smile. "Oh, I've heard that, too."

"Yeah, so anyway, it's real nice up there this time of year." He paused, looking at her.

Sam knew what he was doing. She was like a fish in his pond, and he was waiting for her to take the bait. She couldn't deny the pleasure of teasing him just a bit longer; maybe her medication really _was_ working. "I don't know, I've never been."

"Well, you should try it some time." Another pause, this time accompanied by the tapping of his thumb against the side of his plate.

"Maybe I'll make it up there someday."

Her nonchalant answer did the trick.

"Oh, for crying out loud, Carter! Will you go fishing with me?"

Sam kept her silence for a moment and she could see him literally start to squirm. She was bored, admittedly. If she said no, he'd use that against her. She wanted out of her house so badly. She was going to go crazy, although she was pretty sure she was already there. And maybe she was a little too desperate because she agreed without further thought.

"Yes," she replied, finally putting him out of his misery.

Very few times had she seen his eyes light up the way they did at that moment. This fishing thing really was important to him. He'd always hounded her about going with him, and she had always refused. It was a game they had played for years. Sam wasn't sure what was so special about sitting on a dock and waiting for an unsuspecting fish to come along, but the fact that he wanted to share it with her had always touched her.

And scared her.

Fishing seemed like such a mundane thing, but it was more than that for them. They would be far away from their normal environment. They would be isolated at the little cabin. Alone. Together. Nothing but free time to keep each other company.

Sam had always come up with an excuse because she feared how that one little trip could potentially impact their lives. In a good or a bad way, she wasn't sure. She had never been ready to find out. Even now she wasn't sure, but there was no excuse not to go.

She was going, ready or not.

o-O-o

A few mornings later, Jack had swung by to pick Sam up before dawn. She'd helped him load her things in the back seat of the truck and placed her book bag in the front. He'd already told her it would be a long trip, but that they'd drive it in one day.

As they pulled away from her house, Sam couldn't help but feel a twinge of nervousness. There was no turning back. However, most of the morning was spent with Sam reading an old astrophysics book and napping, and Jack listening to some oldies on the radio. There was no conversation, and strangely enough, that put Sam at ease. Then, somewhere in Nebraska, they stopped for lunch at a local sandwich shop.

"I can run in and get it to go, or we can dine in. Whatever you're comfortable with," Jack said, unbuckling his seat belt.

"I wouldn't mind getting out of the truck for a while," Sam confessed. She'd been cooped up for hours and it was starting to bother her.

"Okay then."

They both stepped out of the truck and Sam stretched her stiff body.

"You'll like this place," Jack commented. "I always get the pastrami, but they've got just about anything you'd want."

The bell on the small eatery's door chimed as Jack opened it and held it for Sam. She perused the menu while he ordered. Sam settled on the turkey sandwich, with a side of potato salad, and water. She reached for her purse to get her money, but Jack waved her hand away.

"I've got it." He handed over some cash, and after receiving his change, looked out at the tables. "Where do you wanna sit?"

Sam picked a booth out and pointed. As they walked, she looked to Jack. "You didn't have to do that."

"Pay? No, but it's the least I can do for dragging you along."

"You didn't _drag_ me," Sam protested.

The corners of Jack's lips twitched upwards as he slipped into the booth. "Well, I'm still shocked you agreed to come. I have to make this as enjoyable as possible so you'll come back," he replied with a sparkle in his eye.

"Sir."

"Ah! It's Jack."

"Jack." Sam shook her head. She didn't know whether to sigh in exasperation or smile at Jack's behavior. She didn't know what else to say, but it didn't really matter as their food soon arrived.

The two began devouring their lunch. The restaurant was quiet, which Sam appreciated, and the food was delicious. She ate it all but a spoonful of potato salad, then pushed it away. She didn't object when Jack threw it in the trash for her.

As they headed out into the blazing sun, Sam stopped in front of the truck. "Hey."

Jack paused with his hand on the door handle. "Yeah?"

"Would you mind if I drove for a while?"

He studied her for a moment, then tossed the keys over the hood. Sam caught them, and was slightly pleased her reflexes weren't too rusty. And pleased that Jack trusted her.

"Let me know if you get tired. Or bored. It's a whole lotta nothing," Jack told her, coming around the truck to occupy her previous seat.

"Okay." Sam got in and adjusted the seat to her liking and started up the truck. She breathed deeply. The nerves were back, but she'd asked for this. The last time she'd driven had been to work the day they'd gated to Olympus. She'd received her renewed driver's license the week before, but she had yet to drive anywhere. Taking a calming breath, she put the truck in reverse, and then brought it around to the front of the parking lot.

"Just go right and I'll let you know when you'll need to turn," Jack informed her. He picked up Sam's book on the dash and flipped it open. "I'll just be studying, ah, stellar dynamics. Yes, stellar dynamics." He momentarily appeared to be quite invested in the book, but then lifted his gaze to give her a reassuring smile.

Sam nodded appreciatively, then pulled the truck onto the highway.

o-O-o

They arrived at the cabin well after dark. Sam had turned the wheel over to Jack long ago, and she was dozing when the squeak of brakes roused her.

"We're here?" she wondered, her speech slightly slurred from sleep.

Jack turned the engine off and pulled the key from the ignition. "Yeah."

Sam stepped out into the cool night air and stretched, while Jack grabbed all of their bags before heading to the cabin. Sam gathered her scattered items and stuffed them into her book bag. Slamming the truck door, she turned to look at the cabin.

So this was it. It was smaller than she'd thought, and glistening in the moonlight, she could see some water to the back of the house. Jack's legendary pond, she guessed. There was a chimney, and a pile of wood sat on one side of the porch, while the other end accommodated a rocking chair.

"Coming?" Jack stood at the door. His posture, his smile, everything about him was welcoming, inviting. This was what Sam had been worried about. It was just the two of them, out in the wilds of Minnesota.

Anything could happen.

TBC in 'Then Came the Rain'


	66. Then Came the Rain

Ch. 65 Then Came the Rain

Sam woke with a gasp. For a moment she wondered where she was. A flash of lightning lit up the room, reminding her, but the approaching storm had not been what had woken her up. She ran her fingers across her pillow. It was damp, as were her cheeks.

Sighing, she sat up. There was no use trying to go back to sleep. Her nights had gotten progressively better, but Sam still had some rough ones. She rose to her feet and cracked open the door, the rumbling thunder hiding the squeak.

Quietly, she made her way to the front of the tiny cabin. She stepped out on the porch, the cool wind whipping around her. Sam grabbed the blanket off the rocker and situated herself comfortably in the chair. The rain would soon be coming. She loved the rain, now more than ever. There was something so refreshing about it. Even the mighty rolls of thunder helped soothe her troubled soul.

She rocked back and forth, wrapping the blanket more tightly around her shoulders as the wind chilled her. There was a flash of light, and a distant rumble of thunder followed shortly after. The storm would be there soon. From the looks of it, it wouldn't ravage the little cabin in the woods, but it would be a nice summer storm. Sam closed her eyes and waited for the first drops of rain. At last, the relaxing pitter-patter greeted Sam's ears. She could understand why Jack loved this place so much. She welcomed the solitude his isolated haven provided.

Sam opened her eyes and stared out into the night. She couldn't see far beyond the porch; the yard faded into darkness, the rain and shadows obscuring what lay beyond. Though she knew nothing was out there, her mind liked to play tricks on her these days. Sam shook her head at herself, then stood to her feet. So much for unwinding.

Heading indoors, she shuffled to the kitchen. Sam had packed a variety of teas to bring along on the trip. They had been recommended to her to aid in relaxing, and if she was lucky, falling asleep. Sam browsed through her selection, which she'd placed in the cabinet that evening when she'd unpacked. She needed something strong. Sam paused when she came to her valerian tea. It wasn't the best tasting, but it might help do the trick.

Sam put it on the counter, closing the cabinet. Turing slightly, she opened another cabinet, searching for a cup. Jack didn't have teacups, which wasn't surprising, and didn't really matter. She grabbed the handle of his Minnesota coffee mug and pulled it from its place on the shelf.

"Sam?"

Sam spun around, startled, the cup falling from her hands and shattering on the floor.

"Sir! Don't do that!" Sam gasped out, her heart pounding rapidly in her chest as she came to face the bleary eyed man who had crept up behind her.

"Sorry," Jack replied, holding his hands up apologetically. His gaze traveled down to his broken mug. Sam's eyes followed suit.

"Oh! I am so sorry. I didn't mean to…I had a dream…I couldn't sleep…I was going to make some tea. I'm sorry. Sorry…" Sam stuttered, bending down to pick up the fragments. Jack joined her.

"Hey, no big deal. I should know better than to do that. Besides, it's not like I can't get another one just like this," he assured her as he dumped his pieces in the trash.

"I shouldn't be so jumpy. I'm sorry," she shook her head regretfully.

"Sam, stop apologizing. It's okay. Really. I'm going to clean up the rest of this. I want you to go have a seat," he commanded, pointing to the living area. "I'll make your tea."

Sam's shoulders sagged as she acquiesced. She sank into the couch, silently cursing herself. She hadn't wanted to wake Jack, or to give him any more reasons to worry about her. She listened as he moved around the kitchen, preparing her tea. On the other hand, it wasn't _that_ awful to have him take care of her.

He finally came into her view once again, a steaming cup of tea in his hand.

"Thanks." Sam grasped the drink and took a sip. Hopefully it would help her get back to sleep. But as Jack sat next to her with questioning eyes, she knew that it was not likely.

"So, are you okay?"

Sam nodded. "Yeah."

"You said something about a dream?" Jack prodded lightly.

"I don't really want to talk about it." Sam stared into her tea, letting the steam float up and into her face.

For a moment, Jack didn't say anything. His lips pursed and his eyes narrowed slightly before turning back to Sam.

"Carter, eventually you're going to have to talk to someone if you wanna get back to work."

"I'm not sure I want to."

"What?" The questioned escaped him before he could prevent it. "Why not?"

"I'm not…" Sam's shoulders hunched, as though she were trying to defend herself from having to give an answer. "I just can't…"

"Can't what?" Jack pressed.

"Do it anymore."

Jack looked for the words to reply, but none were forthcoming. He was shocked at this admission. "You don't mean that," he finally managed. "So forget the field, what about the lab?"

"I don't know," Sam shrugged. Her attention was carefully focused on her tea, her eyes purposefully not meeting his.

Jack shook his head. "The Carter I know would never quit." He had entertained the thought that Sam might not want to go back to work, but he'd never let himself entertain that thought for long.

"Maybe you don't know me anymore," was her reply, one she'd given too easily.

Jack's frustration was mounting. Sam had changed, but surely not this much. "What's happened to you?"

"Excuse me?" Sam's head lifted from her mug. She set the still steaming liquid down.

"You've never bent to the will of the Goa'uld. If you quit, they win. Sam, you _love _your job. I understand you being gun-shy, but giving up without a fight? That's not you."

"Things change. People change. Now can we drop it?" The words came out faster and higher, sure signs her own irritation was increasing.

"Sam…" He wasn't going to let go of this.

Her impassive eyes locked with his, the blue clouded with gray.

Jack's own eyes dimmed as his mind wandered to what would have happened to make Sam, a strong, independent woman, give up what she loved. What she'd devoted her life to. To hear her say these words confirmed something he didn't want to believe, that he'd been refusing to believe.

They'd broken Samantha Carter.

Jack swallowed. He couldn't let her do this. "I can't drop it, I won't. I want to help you," he attempted to reason.

"Then leave me alone," Sam's harsh, defensive voice replied. She shifted uncomfortably on the couch.

Jack shook his head. They all felt Sam was getting better, to some extent. But perhaps she was also getting better at pretending. Whatever progress she seemed to be making, Sam still continued to hide from them in so many ways. This charade, this pretense they'd been living under, it had to stop. "I can't do that anymore."

Sam took a shaky breath. "I…I didn't come here for this. I can't stay here if you're going to…"

"Make you face what happened? Sam, it's controlling you. It's going to destroy who you are!"

"It's already done!" she snapped. "You can't fix it! You can't help me!"

Jack stared open mouthed at Sam. She was already so sure of her fate, that she was a lost cause. What had they done to her on that planet? "God, Carter! What did they say? What did they do?"

Sam shook her head apprehensively. Her eyes darted around the room, anywhere but at him. Then they seemed to focus on something. Startling Jack, she quickly rose and breezed past him. She headed for the door, grabbing his keys on her way out. In a matter of seconds Jack knew what she was planning, and he was following her into the pouring rain.

"Hey! Talk to me!" Jack demanded, catching up to her. Reaching around her, he plucked the keys from Sam's hands before she could unlock the door. Still, she tried the handle. It was locked. Sam beat against the door, frustrated curses emanating from her throat.

"Carter. Sam, stop!" Jack pleaded.

"Weak! Stupid! Pathetic woman! _You are nothing_!" The words were piercing and sharp, and flowed out of her mouth as if she'd heard them thousands of times. As though they'd been ingrained in her, pounded into her day and night.

"No," Jack objected. "Sam, please tell me you don't believe that. You know that's not true." Jack's heart hurt for this woman, the ache in his chest becoming ever more pronounced.

"But it is! Everything they said is true. They proved it every day and there was nothing, _nothing_, I could do…" Sam leaned her forehead against the window of Jack's truck, unable to face him, unable to go on. A brief flash of lightning lit up the sky, chased by a low rumble of thunder.

Jack moved a step closer to Sam, to be sure she could hear him as the rain came faster and harder. "You are so strong, Sam. Look how far you've come. Do _not _let them win this. Don't give up now!"

Sam didn't make an attempt to respond, but Jack went on.

"And only a fool would call you stupid. My God, Carter. You can do anything, even the impossible. I can't even count the times I've been astounded by your intelligence and your abilities."

Sam turned slightly towards him. Her blonde locks were matted against her face, and her eyes held the slightest glimmer of hope. But Jack could tell she still didn't quite subscribe to his image of her.

He moved to lean against the truck, so that the two were finally facing each other. "Tispihone, Mal'tek, all of them…they are liars. They manipulate. They use people for their own selfish purposes, no matter what the cost." In this case, the price had been high, the cost too much. They'd left Sam's life in shambles; she was so confused. So was he. There was only one thing he was certain of, and he hadn't done a great job of conveying it to Sam. That he still meant everything he'd said in that room. That he still cared about her…a lot more than he was supposed to.

"Carter…Sam. Whatever they said, whatever you may think…" Jack lifted her chin, forcing her to look into his eyes. Her eyes shone as they met his. "You are an amazing woman. Don't allow yourself to think any differently."

Tears streamed down Sam's face, mingling with the rain. "How can you say that?" She pulled away from his touch, but remained within reach. "I'm nothing but damaged goods."

"We're all damaged. Me, you, everyone. I care about you and what you went through, but it does not change the way I see you."

"No. If you knew…"

"Knew what?" he coaxed gently. She never talked about it. He never pressured her, mostly because he knew how hard it was to talk about such things. And also because it scared him. He wasn't sure he wanted to know. Jack had his ideas, but what would the actual knowledge do to him? He'd seen what it had done to her.

Sam's blue eyes squeezed shut and her head turned from side to side. "I can't tell you."

Jack felt like his heart had jumped into his throat. They were here, at a turning point. They were dangling precariously on the edge. Either he could prod her for more information, or he could let it go. Either she would talk to him, or she'd shut him out more than she had before. The truth would be revealed, or it would be buried even deeper.

He decided to move closer to the brink. "Why not?"

"I can't!" she wailed. Her hands went to her face, as if to shield herself from his gaze, to protect her secrets. "I can't!" Anguished sobs slipped from her and Sam did nothing to hide them. There were so many emotions, so much that was pent up inside of her. There was also the incapacity to deal with it all. The burden too heavy, Sam slid helplessly along the side of the truck to the ground.

Without hesitation, Jack fell next to Sam, thick mud and water spreading against his pants as he settled beside her. "Just talk to me, Sam." The intense whisper, begging for answers once more, left his lips as the raindrops pounded against them.

"No…no!" She refused to look at him, her head burrowed deep into the crevice of her cupped hands.

Jack paused. He was pushing, but she had to stop running. They both did. Slowly lifting his hands, he wrapped his fingers around hers. He could feel the initial resistance, but he pulled gently, until her defenses fell away on their own free will.

The light from the porch cast a faint glow on her features. Her red rimmed eyes stared up at him. They weren't full of anger or resentment, but they were sad. So very sad.

Jack held her hands in his, enfolding them tenderly. He didn't say anything, he simply looked at his female companion, waiting for an answer he knew she might not give.

Still weeping, Sam finally surrendered, her voice coming out in small hiccups. "If I…told you…you'd…you'd…not want…anything to do with…me." She bent her head away from him in shame.

Jack shook his head in disbelief. "Don't you understand? Even if I knew everything, every last detail, it…" Jack paused midsentence. He knew what he intended to say, but if he spoke the words, it would forever change things. Shaking his head again, but this time to clear the doubts, he continued, purposefully. "It wouldn't make me love you any less."

Sam's hunched body stiffened, Jack's words not lost on her. "Don't say that. Don't…" she refuted. Her hands trembled beneath his.

"Maybe you need to hear it." Try as she might to deflect him, what he'd said was the truth. Perhaps Sam thought she wasn't worth loving, or for that matter, worth anything at all. But despite the trials and tribulations that had engulfed their lives, Jack did love her. Nothing she could confess would change that.

Jack didn't say anything more. He didn't try to delve into the depths of their convoluted feelings. Instead, he wrapped her in his arms. Sam didn't reject him, but let him pull her close. He simply held her and let the rain cascade over them, cleansing them both.

TBC in 'A Step Along the Way'


	67. A Step Along the Way

A/N: Thanks for the continued support...it makes all the time spent working on this worth it!

Ch. 66 A Step Along the Way

Just out of a warm shower, dressed in flannel PJs, and wrapped in a blanket, Sam took a sip of her fresh tea. Jack had had it waiting for her when she had finished showering. Now she could hear the water running again; it was Jack's turn to get cleaned up. They'd been covered in mud and soaked to the bone. Sam didn't know how long Jack had held her, but by the time he'd helped her stand on shaky legs, the distant rumbles of thunder signaled the storm had moved on.

It probably hadn't been quite the absolution Jack had hoped for. She'd held out on him, but she simply couldn't admit to him everything that had happened to her. Sam knew she couldn't have it both ways. Either she kept things from Jack, or she gave her whole self over to him. But it was so hard, if not impossible, to do that. And now, things were infinitely more complicated.

Love. Yes, he'd said he loved her. Not in the most outright, obvious way, but he'd said it. Certainly it could be interpreted as love in a strictly platonic sense, but she would be lying to herself if she allowed herself to believe that. Sam knew Jack O'Neill, and she knew he didn't casually throw around the word love, especially not in conjunction with her. There had been a time Sam would have never expected Jack to go there. A time when they'd been teammates…a time before Olympus.

But since then, Jack's guard had been coming down. Their previously ambiguous relationship had taken a turn toward the unambiguous. Her doubts about how he felt about her were slowly being erased. But nothing seemed to shake the fear of stepping out and letting him love her.

Loving him and allowing herself to be loved in return was territory Sam was terrified of. It would mean she had to give part of herself up. To be vulnerable, to lose the control she'd so desperately tried to get back. She couldn't let go of it. Even now, she was only holding on by a thread.

Sam heard the water shut off. Jack would be out soon. There was a sense of comfort, knowing he was right there. So many times on Olympus she'd wished he was with her, but in reality, it was best he wasn't. He had been safe. She'd killed Morpheus for that very reason, and Sam would never regret it.

Glancing at the clock above the fireplace, Sam noted the time. 3:52. The night seemed to stretch on and on.

At last Jack entered the room in clean, dry pajamas, but with his wet hair sticking up gloriously in all directions. He didn't say anything, but settled next to her on the couch. They'd been in the same position not long before, right before she'd stormed out. He'd been curious about her dream, and rightfully so, Sam supposed. Perhaps she could tell him, but not everything. This dream hadn't been the worst of them. Step by small step, perhaps she could begin to tell him.

"He was beating me." The admission almost didn't come out, her mouth was suddenly dry.

Jack frowned, confusion evident on his face.

Sam took a gulp of her tea, the liquid washing away the cottony feeling in her throat. Clarity soon followed for Jack as she continued.

"Mal'tek, in my dream…because I wouldn't tell him who I'd been a host to. I swear I never gave the Tok'ra up." That was one thing she wasn't ashamed of from her time offworld. She'd never failed her allies or Earth in that way.

"I know," Jack replied.

"He said that if I wouldn't tell him what he wanted to know, I wouldn't tell anyone anything. He…he got his knife and then he…" Sam stopped, her hand lifting and resting against her throat. She didn't have to explain. Jack could deduce what had happened.

"Sam, it was just a dream."

Sam shook her head. "No. No, it wasn't." If only that was all it had been.

Jack looked physically sick as Sam's words sunk in. He didn't know what to say. Why had she even bothered telling him?

After a few moments, he cleared his throat. "I know you think I may not understand, but…" His voice was low. "Being tortured and killed, only to be brought back and have it start all over again... Been there, done that." He wasn't fully looking her in the eye; it was difficult to make these admissions to her. Jack had never really talked about what had happened while he'd been imprisoned by Ba'al, just as she hadn't spoken of her time with Tisiphone.

"You should have let him kill me."

"What?" Sam was thrown by Jack's remark.

"Everything that's happened to you is because of me. Because you saved me. You shouldn't have stopped Morpheus. You didn't have to put yourself in that position for me. You should have let him kill me."

Sam shook her head contrarily. "I would have rather died myself." She'd turned the tables, using Jack's own words against him. She hadn't forgotten them, and with the piercing look he sent her, Jack certainly hadn't either.

"What's done is done," Sam went on, not allowing the lull in the conversation to turn into something more personal.

Jack's expression softened somewhat. "I guess we only have the future to look to."

Sam didn't miss the duality of his statement. "I guess," she responded quietly.

"So what do you want to do?" Jack wondered. "I mean, if you don't want back at the SGC."

Sam was sure she didn't want to be back in the field. There would always be that risk of being caught. Any Goa'uld or Jaffa, at any time, could trigger memories that would immobilize her. And at the very heart of it all, she was scared. She'd never let fear control her as much as she let it these days, but she'd also been given plenty of reasons to allow it. However, lab work could be a possibility. Maybe.

One of the many emotions constantly coursing through Sam was sorrow. Sorrow at what she'd lost at the hands of the Goa'uld…who she was, her sense of self worth. The most core beliefs she'd had about herself had been shaken. How she'd ever come to believe what she'd been told, Sam didn't know. Jack insisted they were lies, but he also didn't know the truth.

"I think," she began slowly, rubbing her thumb against the cup still in her hands. "That I might want to stay at the SGC in some capacity."

"Good." Jack was obviously pleased. "Whatever you end up deciding, we can make it happen. But the first thing you have to do is talk. They won't reinstate you until you do."

"I know."

"If you need someone to go with you…"

Sam nodded, but she would never take him up on the offer. She didn't want him to hear anything she might reveal. She didn't want to relive it in front of him. But Jack was right; she knew she'd have to talk to MacKenzie if she still wanted to be part of the program. They would never let her back on the job if they weren't sure she was both physically and mentally stable.

She would try to open up in her sessions. If she didn't, she would stay in this limbo she was in. Her life was going nowhere, and Jack was right. She wasn't a quitter and this wasn't her. But she didn't know who she was anymore. This fishing trip, she supposed, was a step along the journey to finding out.

TBC in 'A Pup Named Molly'


	68. A Pup Named Molly

Ch. 67 A Pup Named Molly

Jack put the last glass up and leaned against the counter. The day had been fairly normal so far, considering what had happened the evening before. They'd both slept in after being up half the night, and Jack had just finished cleaning up the dishes from lunch. Sam had spent most of her time on the porch, rocking in the chair. He couldn't help but wonder what was on her mind.

His ears perked up as he registered soft speech. Then a bit of laughter.

Laughter?

He traversed the tiny cabin and discreetly peered outside. There sat Sam, with a small dog in her lap. He watched them for a few moments, the scene relaxing his face into a smile.

"You're a sweet girl. Where'd you come from?" Sam asked as the puppy, a beagle, licked at her face.

"I'm willing to bet I know where," Jack answered, stepping out onto the porch.

Sam looked up, an almost embarrassed smile on her face. "Where?" She ran her hand absentmindedly along the delighted dog's back.

Jack eyed her. "You up for a walk?"

Sam looked skeptical.

"Oh, come on," Jack ordered, waving her along. "And bring her with you," he pointed at the beagle.

Sam rose without question and followed Jack down the driveway, the puppy trailing behind her. Soon they were walking three abreast. It was quiet as they traveled down the deserted country road. Occasionally a bird would fly past and excite the little dog, but their walk was peaceful.

"Sometimes I wonder what happened to Schrödinger," Sam thought aloud, breaking the silence.

Jack grimaced. The last they'd seen of the world the orange tabby had been taken to hadn't been pleasant.

"He was a good cat." Sam exhaled. "Wow. That seems like forever ago." She mutely stared down the road as they continued walking.

Jack knew that for her, her life was fractured. There was life before Olympus and life after. That one year had affected her immensely.

After a few minutes, Sam piped up again, curious. "Where are we going?"

"You'll see." They were almost there.

Sam and Jack rounded the bend and the dog started yapping merrily and running ahead. A cabin much like Jack's came into view. Past the back of the house, a small pond was visible, as well as an elderly man working in the yard. His gray head bobbed up as the dog jumped on him excitedly.

"Mr. Miller!" Jack called. "Hello!"

"Jack! I see you found Molly." The man tried to stand, but the dog was intent on greeting her master, bathing him with slobber.

"Not me," Jack deflected, turning to Sam. "This is Samantha Carter."

"Herman Miller. Pleasure to meet you." He gently pushed Molly away and pulled himself to his feet.

"Nice to meet you." Sam reached out and grabbed his extended hand, her pale, smooth skin a contrast to Herman's tan and calloused. "Actually, she found me."

"She's quite the explorer. Made it all the way down to your place, huh, Jack?"

"She did."

"So how do you two know each other?" Herman was looking at Sam inquisitively; the question was aimed at her. She was in the real world now, and when people spoke to her, she had to answer.

"Ah, we work together."

"Deep space radar telemetry?"

"Something like that, yes." Sam tried to smile, but it didn't reach her eyes.

"I see. Well, I've never seen you out here before."

"I've been trying to get her to come out here for years," Jack told him.

"Years, you say?" Herman peered at Sam.

"Something about the fishing," Sam shrugged, feeling a bit on the spot.

"Speaking of, I was just about to try my luck. Feel like staying for a spell?"

"If it's okay with Sam." Jack looked to his friend for her consent.

"Oh. I don't mind."

Herman's lips curved upwards. "Have you ever been fishing, young lady?"

"Not in a long time, no."

"Well, get ready. I actually have fish in my pond!"

o-O-o

Sam sat on the dock with the two men. Both had caught a few fish, which Herman had declared were for dinner, if they intended to stay.

Suddenly, Sam felt a tug at her line. "Uh, s-" Sam caught herself. "Jack?"

"She's got something!" Herman rose from his chair with an elated shout.

"Well, reel it in! You've done this before!" Jack ordered, coming to stand next to her.

"Not in a while!" Sam reeled as fast as she could. The fish soon became visible, wriggling frantically and trying to get away. Water flew from the fighting creature, spraying Sam in the face.

_Cold water splashed against Sam's face, rousing her once more. "Leave me alone," she begged._

"_You will not rest until you tell me."_

_She was so tired, and the weariness was quickly giving way to anger and frustration. She wanted to be left alone, but she would not give in. Sam shook her head defiantly. _

"_Tell me to whom you were a host. Tell me," he repeated over and over as her eyes shut. Again he doused water on her._

_As the water dripped along her skin, Sam felt herself snap. Something not unlike a roar left her mouth as she leapt at the Jaffa. He grasped her and slammed her against the wall before she could even get to him. _

"_There is nothing you can do to me. You are weak, woman. Tell me," he began again, leaning towards her, his smile taunting her._

_As he neared, Sam spit at his face. As soon as she'd done it, Sam felt disgust at her behavior, shocked at her depravity. _

_But even more, she felt horror in knowing she'd do it again. _

"Sam!"

Sam could hear Jack's voice calling to her, trying to pull her from the abyss.

"Is she okay?" she heard Herman ask.

"Yeah. She will be. Sam?"

Her eyes popped open and focused on two very worried men.

"Sorry…sorry. I'm fine," she apologized, her cheeks reddening. She could see the questioning look on the older man's face, while Jack's only displayed worry. "I just zoned out for a minute. Sorry. I'm okay," she insisted. Glancing around, she spotted her fishing pole. The fish flopped helplessly on the deck.

"Let it go."

Jack nodded and pulled the fish from the hook as humanely as he could. Then, with a flick of his wrist, he flung the slimy creature back into the water.

Sam's head bobbed in satisfaction as the fish zipped away. She knew the importance of second chances.

o-O-o

Sam sat with Molly on the deck. Jack and Herman had taken their catch and started preparing dinner. She wouldn't mind having some fish, but Sam couldn't bear to watch the knife slice through the flesh. These days she found it disconcerting.

"Dinner's ready!"

At the call, Molly abandoned Sam and bounded to the men. 'Dinner' was a word the pup seemed to know well. Sam stood up and followed, her stomach rumbling at the delicious smells drifting through the air. Fish, beans, cole slaw, and hushpuppies were set out on the table, and beer and water chilled in a nearby cooler.

"Dig in," Herman announced, handing her a plate.

Sam nodded her thanks and began to place food on her dish. It was more than she would actually eat, but under the watchful gazes of Jack and Herman, she decided it was best not to raise suspicions. Soon all three had full plates and were seated at the table.

Dinner was mostly silent and Sam ate more than she thought she would. It was even better than it had smelled. After most of the food had been consumed, conversation started up again.

"So, Miss Carter," Herman began.

"Call me Sam."

"Sam. How long have you known Jack?"

"About 8 years."

"I can't believe it's taken him this long to get you out here!" Herman exclaimed.

"It's not for lack of trying," Jack defended himself.

Herman chuckled. "Well, I hope to see you around more often."

Sam nodded. She hoped so, too.

The older man didn't press for much more information, and soon they began discussing other topics. Sam added to the conversation when she was spoken directly to, but mostly she let the men talk and nurse their beers.

When Herman's bottle was empty, he placed it on the table. "It's been nice to have some company. Unlike Jack, I live here year around. It's just Molly and I, and it can get a bit monotonous," he admitted. "But, you'd better get going before it gets too much later."

"Probably so," Jack agreed.

"Take some of this with you," Herman pointed to the unfinished food. "I'll never eat all these leftovers, even with Molly's help," he grinned, patting his companion on the head.

"Sure. We can take a plate or two." Jack began to work on filling up two plates and Herman ran inside to grab some foil.

"Pretty good, huh?"

"It was good," Sam assured Jack. "Herman's not bad either."

Jack's face lit up at her attempt to joke with him. "No, he's not bad at all. Fishing's not so bad either, is it?" Despite Sam's brief flashback, Jack had enjoyed the day and felt Sam had, to some degree, as well.

"No."

"You will come out here again, right?" He wanted so many more days like this.

"I think so."

"So you won't mind if I buy you a fishing pole for Christmas?"

Sam raised her eyebrow at him, but their light banter was cut short when Herman returned with the foil. Soon the food was wrapped and they were heading back to the road. Molly tried to tag along, however, a piercing whistle from Herman stopped her in her tracks. Molly no longer followed, but she barked after them.

"She's learning, slowly but surely," Herman said, catching up. "I wouldn't be surprised, though, if she ended up at your place again."

"That's fine, if we get another dinner out of it," Jack returned with a grin.

"Sure!" Herman laughed. "Come by any time, and I mean that. Miss Carter," he turned to Sam, "Excuse me, _Sam_, it's been lovely having you as a guest." He grasped her hand affectionately. "Jack, you must bring her back!"

A faint blush emerged on Sam's face, along with a smile.

A real, genuine smile.

TBC in 'Time Flies'


	69. Time Flies

A/N: If you'll recall, I mentioned that in some chapters certain episodes will be touched upon, and things may or may not play out the same as in the series. Just keep that in mind…

Ch. 68 Time Flies

Jack leaned against the wall, waiting for the door to open. He checked his watch; it would be any minute now.

The remainder of the fishing trip had gone well enough. After their rough start, Sam had ended up more relaxed than Jack had seen her in ages. The trip had been good for her, for both of them. Jack had enjoyed the one on one time with her, and though there were still boundaries between them, some of the walls had come down at that little cabin in the woods.

Today was Sam's first day back in therapy, and he had to wonder if today would be the day she would open up to MacKenzie. She hadn't asked him inside, but Jack had taken Sam to her session and had decided to wait. If this were the day, it would be a rough one. He glanced down at the object in his hand, then patiently back toward MacKenzie's office.

At last the door scraped open and Jack pulled himself away from the wall. Sam's blonde head appeared, cast down. She almost ran into him, but Jack caught her before she did. Sam lifted her head, and her red rimmed eyes registered surprise at finding him there.

Jack wasn't sure what to say. 'How did it go?' just didn't seem appropriate. It didn't appear to have gone terribly, but from her teary eyes, it hadn't gone well, either.

Sam pushed past him and headed down the hall. "Can you take me home?"

"Yeah, sure." He picked up his pace to catch up with Sam. "Hey, wait a sec."

She complied and stopped when she reached the elevator door, her hand remaining at her side instead of pushing the call button. Sam turned to him, arms crossed, head downcast once again.

"I tried."

Jack knew she was speaking of her session with Dr. MacKenzie. "That's great." It really was. It meant she wanted to get on with her life.

"I don't know," she shook her head, unconvinced.

"It'll take some time, but it's a start." Jack put a comforting hand on Sam's shoulder. "You did good." He looked down at the item he'd been holding. As he lifted it, Jack let his other hand slide from Sam's frame. "Do you remember when you gave me this?" Dangling from his index finger was Sam's dog tag, given to him over a year before.

Sam leaned in a bit, lips parting in a small gasp when she realized what he held. She nodded.

"You gave this to me when you thought…" Jack paused, the memory alone causing emotions to well up and choke his words. "When you thought there was no hope. But you beat the odds, you _always_ do. Sam, you can do this, and if you ever think you can't…" He slipped the silvery chain into her hand to serve as a reminder.

Sam studied the object, letting her thumb run over the embossed metal. She finally looked up at Jack. "Does it get any easier?"

With the question she was accepting his words, not rebutting them. Seemingly, though, she was still sincerely worried she couldn't do this, even if she wanted to. Sam looked so miserable that Jack allowed his arm to slide around her and pull her close.

"Yeah. Yeah, it does."

o-O-o-O-o

Warm air greeted Sam as she yanked open the dryer door. Piling her clothes into the laundry basket, Sam carried them to the living room to fold. It was a mundane task, but fortunately, her life did hold a little more excitement these days.

She'd continued to go to therapy, and as Jack had predicted, it had gotten easier. Still, there were secrets, parts of her, that she wouldn't give up to the psychiatrist. One thing they'd discussed though, was Sam getting out of the house more often. To find things to participate in that would help her see there was still joy to be had and life left to be lived. All she had to do was reach out and take advantage of it, and after her trip to Minnesota, Sam was more open to stepping out of her comfort zone.

So Sam had, with her friends' help. She and Daniel had perused local museums and galleries. Teal'c had taken her to the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo. Janet and Cassie had whisked her away for a weekend in the small, yet charming town of Cripple Creek. Jack had surprised her with a hot air balloon ride.

That had had almost a romantic feel to it, but as usual, Sam deflected Jack, never letting him get too close. Their friendship had grown considerably over the last few months, but as far as a romance, they had a fledgling relationship that was shaky at best. There were boundaries not to be crossed and waters to stay untested, at least for the time being.

Sam knew she'd been a little uptight on her excursions, but each one helped her loosen up, to readjust a little more. There was a lot more to life than the four walls of her home, and she found herself enjoying that. However, there was something that still had a stranglehold on her life. A darkness that seemed to hover around her. At times she could push it away, but it would always return, settling around her once again.

Rapping on her front door interrupted her thoughts, and Sam set down the towel she'd been folding. She wondered who it could be. Upon finding General Hammond on her stoop, she smiled, but was immediately curious.

"General, come in."

"Sam," he acknowledged as he passed her and went into the living area.

Sam shut the door and hurried after him, moving to clear off the couch so he could have a seat.

"It's fine," Hammond waved his hand. "I'll sit over here," he pointed to the chair.

"What brings you out, sir?" Sam asked, perching herself on the edge of the couch. She folded her hands together, keeping them from nervous movements.

"I wanted to see how you were." Hammond looked relaxed; it didn't seem he was there to deliver any type of bad news. "Everyone seems to think you're doing well. I'm very glad to hear that."

"Yes, sir. Thank you."

"How do _you_ feel you're doing?"

Sam paused, not sure how to reply. It was more like a question MacKenzie would ask, not Hammond. "Well…" She swallowed nervously. "I'm feeling better than I have in a long time, sir." She wasn't doing great, but she was doing well, more or less. These days, that was almost something to celebrate.

Hammond studied Sam for a long moment. His penetrating gaze was beginning to make her uncomfortable, but she held his eyes.

"I expect to see you tomorrow morning, Major. 08:00 sharp." He pulled an envelope from his shirt pocket and handed it to Sam. He stood to his feet and smiled warmly at her. "Goodnight."

The general let himself out, leaving an open mouthed Sam in his wake. After he was gone, Sam opened the envelope with trembling fingers. Inside was a security pass and key card. She lifted her shocked gaze to the empty chair Hammond had recently filled.

She was going back.

o-O-o-O-o

Jennifer Hailey traveled down the drab, gray corridors of the SGC. The men of SG-1 were offworld at Rya'c's wedding. Fortunately, Teal'c had come to terms with his son's decision, and the three had headed out earlier that afternoon. Jennifer had stayed behind, and so had the person she was headed to see.

The lieutenant poked her head into Sam's lab. Though she had been invited to go to the wedding, Sam had politely declined the invitation. While she hadn't blatantly stated it, it was clear why the major was still on Earth. The idea of gate travel and being offworld still terrified the woman, and understandably so.

Jennifer watched Sam, who was bent over a table, working diligently, her blonde hair falling around her face. Offhandedly, she moved to push it away, and when she did, Sam caught Jennifer in her peripheral vision.

"Hailey!"

"Hi," she answered with a small wave, moving into the room. "How are you?"

"Okay. You?"

"Okay." Jennifer lifted her shoulders in a shrug. "I've actually been working up the nerve to come see you."

"Really?" Sam stopped what she was doing, giving her undivided attention to the younger woman. "Why?"

At first, it hadn't been Jennifer's place. Sam was going through a tough time, and while she was a friend, she wasn't a close one. Then she'd moved home, and Jennifer rarely saw Sam anymore. Now that the major was back to work, Jennifer had started to think about her future with the team. Not to mention it was just awkward that she had essentially replaced Sam.

"I took your place."

"And you're doing a great job." There was no animosity in Sam's voice or her manner.

"It should be you out there."

Sam shook her head, pushing up her blue BDU sleeves. "I don't know. I think your job is safe," she said with a slight smile.

"It's yours, whenever you want it back. I just want you to know that."

Under normal circumstances, Jennifer would never want to give up her place on the team. But she wouldn't mind one bit if she got booted off of SG-1. In fact, she couldn't wait.

o-O-o-O-o

The computer screen was starting to blur in front of Sam. Glancing at her watch, she saw it was half past noon. The day was only half over, yet she was already frustrated with her work. Perhaps it was time for a lunch break.

"Sam!"

Sam lifted her eyes to her lab entrance and let them focus on Daniel. He was out of breath, as though he'd been running.

"What is it?" Daniel's alarmed greeting instantly sent her stomach churning with apprehension, and Sam pushed away from her keyboard. "Daniel?" she wondered when he didn't reply. There was something akin to sympathy in his expression, which worried Sam even more.

Daniel shook his head before answering.

"It's your dad."

TBC in 'Memento Mori'


	70. Memento Mori

Ch. 69 Memento Mori

Sam rushed through the halls of the SGC, tears stinging her eyes. She didn't care about the stares of her coworkers; all she could think about was her father.

She ran into the infirmary, her eyes scanning the room for Jacob. "Where is he?" she asked a nurse when she didn't see him in any of the beds.

"Ma'am?"

"Where is he?" Sam demanded again, having no patience for the nurse's puzzlement.

"Sam."

She turned to find Janet. "He's this way." Her face was drawn as she motioned to the hall.

Sam followed Janet down to a private room. The bed was surrounded, Tok'ra encasing the figure laying on it. When they noticed Sam's presence, they moved back, revealing her father.

"Dad?"

Jacob spoke lowly to the men and they filed out of the room, leaving she and Jacob alone.

"Dad, what's going on?"

Jacob looked pale and tired as he answered. "Selmak is dying."

Sam sat on the edge of the bed, grasping her father's hand. "Okay…" She wasn't sure exactly what that meant for her father, but she knew it wasn't good.

"When a Tok'ra symbiote dies, they can stop their hosts from dying, like your experience with Jolinar."

Sam nodded.

"But that takes energy…effort. Selmak's in a coma, Sam."

"How?" She knew what he was trying to say, but she didn't want to hear it.

"We're not sure. Old age is a possibility, but it could be anything. We both knew something wasn't quite right, but we've been so busy with Ba'al and Tisiphone that we ignored it. We ignored it until it was too late."

"Now you're going to die, too." Sam suppressed a sob. He couldn't die, not after everything they'd been through. "Are you sure there's nothing they can do?"

"I'm sorry, Sam. The Tok'ra have done all they can. I requested to come home so I could spend what time I have left here on Earth. It'll be okay," Jacob told her gently.

"No! It won't!" Sam cried, unable to understand her dad's reasoning.

"I got another chance at life. To spend more time with you, your brother. When I thought I'd lost you, I was devastated. But I got you back. I'm so glad I lived long enough to make it here, to see you again. I've gotten so many second chances and I've made my peace. I just need to know you'll be happy."

"But…Dad…" Sam couldn't talk about being happy, not with her father on his deathbed.

"Sam." Jacob stopped her. "Don't worry about me. My life is complete. No one lives forever. When I'm gone, Sam, I want to know you'll be okay. You've been through so much in your life. And I know you're scared, but it's time to let go of the things that prevent you from finding happiness."

Sam bent her head. She was holding on to those things so desperately, the things she needed to get out of her life the most. The fear and shame that surrounded her, disheartened her, enslaved her. She wasn't sure she could open herself up to anyone else. Each time in the past when she'd done so, it had only ended badly. If loving and losing weren't bad enough, now she was afraid of that intimacy for more reasons than ever. She couldn't put herself out there, she couldn't allow herself to be more vulnerable than she already was.

Jacob squeezed her hand with what little strength he could muster. "Stop denying yourself, Sam. You deserve to be happy...and to love someone and be loved in return."

"Dad…" she whispered. She felt deflated. She couldn't argue this with him, but she couldn't make any promises either.

"Oh, Sam." Jacob released her hand and lifted his fingers to rest against Sam's cheek. His eyes held nothing but love for her. "Let him love you."

Sam's heart skipped a beat as a sob caught in her throat. All Jacob wanted was to make sure his little girl would be happy. He wanted to know she would be taken care of and loved in his absence. But how long had he known that there was something between she and Jack O'Neill? Had it been years? Had they been that obvious? Or had it been more recently, after Olympus?

She leaned into Jacob's chest and his arms wrapped around her. It was all within reach; everything she could want was right there in front of her. There was just one thing standing in her way, only one thing holding her back.

And that was her.

o-O-o

The three men of SG-1 waited in the hall. Daniel had located Teal'c and called Jack after he'd told Sam about Jacob.

"This is the last thing she needs," Daniel sighed, leaning against the wall.

"There's nothing they can do?" Jack asked. "I thought they could remove a Goa'uld." He was next to Teal'c, standing across from Daniel.

"From what I understand, it's too late for that process." Daniel shrugged. "I don't know. I wish there was _something_ that could be done."

The men stood in silence, contemplating the uncertain future. Soon Sam entered the hallway. Her eyes glistened, but she hadn't been crying.

"Sam, I'm so sorry." Daniel moved to hug his friend.

She squeezed him back. "Thank you."

"How is he?" Jack wondered. San turned to him. She held his gaze, but there was something different in how she looked at him.

Then, dropping her eyes, she answered. "He's taking this better than I am. He's…he's okay."

"How are you?" Teal'c inquired, placing a kind hand on her shoulder.

"I don't know." It was an honest answer. "He's not sure how much time he has, only that…" She paused, tears choking her. "Um…I need a minute."

She softly patted Teal'c's hand and he let her slip away. They watched as she rounded the corner. The men glanced at each other, and without words, moved towards Jacob's room.

Upon entering, they found him still awake. He did look tired, but certainly not like he was on his deathbed. The trio gathered at the foot of the bed, unsure of how to proceed. Finally, Jack spoke.

"Jake, I'm-"

Jacob held up a hand, quieting Jack. "I don't want your condolences. I've cheated death more than a few times, and we all know I should have been dead long ago. I'm okay."

"Very well," Teal'c replied solemnly. "Is there anything you require, Jacob Carter?"

Jacob observed the men closely before nodding. "There's still no one else I trust as much as you three to watch over my daughter. She wouldn't have made it this far without you."

"She's doing great, Jacob," Daniel assured him.

"Yes, but she still has a long way to go. And I wish to God this didn't have to happen…not for my sake, but hers."

There were nods from the men of SG-1. Jacob was prepared for his death, he probably had been since his bout with cancer years prior. However, Sam wasn't equipped to handle this; even before Olympus this would have been difficult for her.

"I know she's stubborn, too," Jacob continued. "Just make sure she has everything she needs."

Jack couldn't be sure, but Jacob's pointed look seemed to be directed at him. He cleared his throat. "We will, Jacob."

"I know. I appreciate you coming by, but if you don't mind, I'd like to rest a bit."

After agreeing to the request and pledging they'd be by later, Jack, Daniel, and Teal'c stepped out of Jacob's room. The three men looked down the empty hall, and all wondered where Sam had gone.

o-O-o

Sam took a seat on the log she and the guys had occupied so many times in the past. But now it was just her. The wind whipped around her and she wished she'd brought a jacket, but Sam had other things on her mind.

She'd finally felt her life was getting back on track. Things weren't almost back to normal, but it was a new normal. A new life she was beginning to be comfortable with. But now her dad was dying. Sam covered her face with her hands. She didn't want to feel this pain. He couldn't leave her. _He couldn't_.

So many times when she was a child, Jacob had had to leave. There were times she'd begged and cried for him not to go. As she'd gotten older she had started to understand, and even though she hadn't liked it, she would let her father go. Today, though, harkened back to her childhood. She was a little girl who needed her daddy. She didn't want him to leave, and she _would_ cry.

The tears trailed down her cheeks. Her life was so full of loss. She couldn't bear any more of it, or the pain. Sam was so angry with Selmak. He was taking her father away; he was dying and taking Jacob along with him. But part of Sam was thankful to the Tok'ra. He had healed her father and given him many more years of life. Not only that, the symbiote had assisted in repairing the damaged relationship she'd had with Jacob. Selmak had given her the father she never imagined she'd have.

Wiping at her cheeks, Sam lifted her head to the dull sky above her. She understood what her dad had tried to tell her. Logically, it made sense that he was at peace. It even made sense what he'd said about Jack. But her heart wasn't ready to let go, and it wasn't ready to love.

o-O-o

Sam sat by her father's bedside. He was resting; he had been most of the evening. She had tried to contact her brother, but had ended up leaving a message for him. She didn't know how Mark would be able to visit Jacob, but somehow father and son needed to see each other. There would have been a time when Jacob would have not wished Mark to be involved, even on his deathbed, but things had changed.

"Sam?"

"Dad?" Sam returned, her heart leaping. Before he even said anything, Sam knew from his expression what he intended to say.

"I'm sorry, kiddo."

It was time.

"Dad, no…" Sam bit back her emotions as she squeezed Jacob's hand. She hadn't expected this to happen so soon. "You've got to hold on. Mark's not here yet."

He grasped her hand back. "I wish I could, but I can't. Tell your brother I love him. And that I'm proud of him. I always have been."

"Okay," Sam promised.

"And I just wanna know you'll be okay." Jacob searched for another promise from his daughter.

Sam brought her father's hand to her lips and tenderly kissed it. "I will," she whispered against his skin. One day, she would be.

Jacob nodded, accepting her answer. "I love you. So much."

"I love you, too."

Again Jacob nodded, and he let his eyes flutter closed.

Sam held onto his hand, wishing somehow she could give him strength, but she was powerless to help him, weak and helpless as always. Still, she continued to hold on and knew the moment he slipped away. His hold on her relaxed, but Sam didn't let go.

She felt nothing. She was numb. Numb as Janet entered the room and disconnected her father from the machines. Numb as she was pulled from Jacob's side. Numb as her friends held her and whispered condolences. Numb as the general asked Jack to take her home.

Jack's hand rested gently on her back as he led her to the surface. The chilly autumn breeze in her face momentarily pulled her from the daze she was in. But as she rode with Jack, she zoned out again, completely ignoring any attempt he made to communicate with her. She didn't even notice when they arrived at her house.

Pulling up to the curb, Jack put the truck in park. Glancing over at Sam, he withheld a sigh. He got out and went around the vehicle to her door. Opening it, he leaned against it, but she didn't even look at him.

"Hey." She blinked as a reply. Jack loosely crossed his arms. "I'm staying tonight."

Sam finally looked up at him. "What?"

"I'm not leaving you alone tonight."

"I'm fine."

"You're not." Jack reached in and unfastened the seat belt. "Come on."

Without a protest, Sam slid out of her seat and stood on the curb. Slamming the door, Jack waited for her to make the first move, then fell instep behind her when she began to head for the front door.

They entered the darkened house and it wasn't long before Sam was ready for bed. She hadn't the energy or will to stay up, and she didn't say more than a few words to him. As Sam pulled the bedroom door to, Jack approached it. He tapped lightly.

Several seconds passed before he heard her faint 'Come in'.

Jack pushed the door open and found Sam seated on her bed. Her hair was up and she wore a blue tank top and blue plaid pajama bottoms. The top dipped low enough that he could see her scar. He settled down next to her, not allowing himself to stare. "You gonna be okay?"

Sam shrugged. "I'm just so…" She licked her parched lips. "I miss him already," she whispered. Pressing her hands to her moist eyes, she sighed. "I hate crying," she admonished herself.

Next to him was a woman who'd been to hell and back and just lost her father, and she was worried about crying. No doubt she thought it was a weakness.

"Don't worry about it." It was okay to cry, especially if there were a valid reason, and Sam had plenty of those. And actually, she was holding herself together better than he would have imagined.

Sam sent him a doleful smile. "Thank you for being here for me." She reached over and squeezed his hand gratefully.

"Absolutely," he returned. "If you need anything, _anything_ at all, I'll be right down the hall."

"Thanks, sir."

But before Jack could scold Sam for calling him sir, light filled the room, blinding them both. He didn't even have a moment to gather his wits before he felt hands grab him and another flash whisked him away.

TBC in 'Déjà Vu'


	71. Déjà Vu

Ch. 70 Déjà Vu

When Jack's vision cleared, he could see they were in a ship, most probably an Al'kesh. As he craned his head around, he could see Sam next to him. He didn't know whether to be thankful for that or not.

"Move," Jack heard a gravelly voice insist. He could feel something pressed into his back. A zat, he assumed.

"Move or we shoot you," another man commanded.

"Who are you?" Jack demanded as he and Sam tentatively began to walk forward. He received no answer from the two men behind them, and they proceeded onward.

Sam walked along side him, her arm brushing against his. Goosebumps covered her skin, and Jack had a feeling it wasn't because she was cold. She caught his gaze, and he saw the alarm in her eyes. It sent a cold shiver of dread straight down his spine.

"So what do you want with us?" Jack asked as they were shoved into a holding cell. He turned and finally got a good look at their captors. Both men had dark hair and were dressed relatively conservatively. Nothing too alien, nothing too over the top. But if he had learned to read Sam over the years…

"They're Goa'uld," Sam whispered, confirming his suspicions.

The taller of the two men smiled. "We serve one greater than us. Our master will be pleased that we have recovered Samantha Carter."

Jack ran his hand across his face. He didn't want to hear it, but he knew what was coming next.

"Tisiphone is looking forward to our return. She sent us on this mission knowing we would not fail," the other Goa'uld added. "And you, O'Neill, are a bonus. Ba'al will be pleased as well."

"Oh, yeah," Jack replied irreverently, "You'll get promoted right up the Goa'uld career ladder, won't you? What's in it for you? A bigger ship? Your own planet?"

"Silence, O'Neill. We do not want to harm you, but your insolence does not sit well," the first Goa'uld told him. "You," he brandished his zat at them, "You will remain here until the exchange. Do not try anything foolish." He stepped out of the cell, pressed a series of buttons on the control panel, and the door began to close.

As the Goa'uld were cut off from sight, Sam began to pace. "I can't do this," she cried. "I can't do this again!"

Jack watched her traverse the tiny room, from one end to the other. She was agitated. Nervous. Scared.

"It'll be okay. We'll get out of this," he comforted.

Sam came to an abrupt stop and turned around. "That's what you said last time."

A shadow crossed Jack's face. He'd only been trying to help, but he should have known. He'd failed her in the past, and Sam was far from forgetting it. His words were empty promises to her, nothing more.

"Sir…Jack…no." Sam's voice cut into his thoughts. "That came out wrong."

Jack shook his head. "No, you're right." He placed his hands on her shoulders, stilling her from further restless movements. "I let you down before, but this time," he searched her eyes, "they'll have to kill me before they lay a hand on you."

"No. No! They _will_ kill you. They don't care." Sam removed herself from his grasp, upset all over again.

"But-" Jack began, though was soon cut off.

"Don't you get it? You can't protect me here. No one can."

o-O-o

Daniel rolled his chair across the concrete floor and pulled the ringing phone from its hook to his ear.

"Dr. Jackson."

"This is Hammond. Have you seen Colonel O'Neill?"

"Not since he took Sam home last night." Daniel cradled the phone between his ear and his shoulder, curious as to why the general was asking.

"He didn't report in this morning and he's not answering his phone."

"Sam?"

"Neither is she."

Daniel sat up in his chair, now worried. "General, with your permission-"

"You have it. Report back when you've found something."

Daniel hung up and rolled back to his desk to grab his keys. He had to find Teal'c, then he had to get to the bottom of this.

o-O-o

"How do you think they found us?" Sam's arms were crossed as she posed the question. She had eventually calmed herself down. She'd stopped her tense pacing and was now leaning against the far wall.

Jack sat directly across from her. "Teal'c said that if Tisiphone wanted you, she would find a way. She has the means to do it and the determination. But my question is, why did they beam us up like that? Why did they have to beam down first?"

"Well, we know that Anubis had beaming technology from when he probed Thor's mind. Ba'al and Tisiphone have taken over all that was his, therefore, they have that tech now. Perhaps they have the same problem we have with Prometheus. We have Asgard beaming technology, but not their sensors. We have to have something tagged before we can beam it up. Maybe that's why they had to come down. We had to be tagged first."

"Wow."

"What?" Sam frowned.

In spite of Sam's dour response, Jack grinned. "I've missed that. That techobabble stuff you do."

"Oh."

"Nice to see you still have it."

Sam might have smiled back, had they not been speeding through space towards the one thing she dreaded most.

o-O-o

"Well, Jack's truck is still here," Daniel observed as they pulled up to Sam's house. He put the car in park.

Teal'c raised an eyebrow.

"I do know it's not what it looks like. They would answer their phones," Daniel insisted. "Something's wrong."

"I concur, Daniel Jackson."

Daniel used his key to unlock the door and enter Sam's home. Nothing looked out of place as he and Teal'c surveyed the front of the house. They noticed Jack's keys on the end table. Then they moved to the bedrooms. Sam's bedding was pulled back as though she were about to go to bed, but had never made it.

"This doesn't make sense. It's like they just…vanished." Daniel crossed his arms, his thoughtful eyes scanning the room once more.

"The Asgard?"

"We haven't heard from them in a while, but I suppose it's possible. First, we have to make sure there isn't a more earthbound explanation."

Teal'c nodded his agreement, but then tilted his head. "Someone approaches, Daniel Jackson."

Daniel's eyes widened behind his glasses. "Are you armed?"

"Indeed." Teal'c trained his pistol on the door as it creaked open.

"Whoa! Don't shoot! It's me!"

"Mark?" Daniel waved Teal'c's weapon down.

A very startled Mark Carter stood in the entranceway. "What's going on?"

"I'm not sure," Daniel replied honestly. "Have you seen your sister?"

Mark sent the two men a bewildered look. "Sam called and left me a message yesterday. I didn't get it until early this morning. She said dad was sick and I needed to get here as soon as possible. I got a seat on the first flight that I could. I got here and…" he eyed the gun at Teal'c's side warily.

"You were never in any danger," Teal'c assured Sam's brother as he tucked the weapon away. "However, I am sorry to inform you Jacob Carter passed away last night,"

"Oh no." The emotions playing out on Mark's face clearly indicated he and his father were no longer estranged, and that he was not prepared to hear this news. "What happened?"

Daniel glanced to Teal'c indecisively. "He, uh, his cancer relapsed. I'm sorry." Daniel despised lying to the man, but he had to.

"Just like that?" There was doubt in Mark's voice, and rightfully so. After the whole 'undercover mission' fiasco with his sister, Mark probably didn't know what to believe.

"I am very sorry for your loss," Teal'c deftly deflected the question.

"Yeah. Thank you." Mark cleared his throat, his feelings threatening to get the best of him.

Daniel gave him a moment to collect himself before he spoke. "So, I'm guessing you have no idea where Sam is."

Mark examined the two men before him, grief, uncertainty, and confusion blatantly displayed on his features. "No, and I'm guessing you don't have a clue, either."

TBC in 'Powerless'


	72. Powerless

Ch 71 Powerless

At last the ship fell out of hyperspace, signaling to Sam and Jack they had arrived at the rendezvous point. After what seemed like forever, their cell opened and revealed their captors, joined by Jaffa from both Ba'al and Tisiphone's ranks.

"Come," they were ordered.

Sam was rooted to her spot, unable to move out of fear or defiance, or maybe a bit of both. And since she hadn't moved, Jack decided he wouldn't either.

"Come and get us." Jack knew he probably shouldn't mouth off at them, but he and Sam were precious cargo. If anything happened to them, their masters would not be pleased.

"Very well."

One of the Goa'uld pulled out his zat and pointed it at them. A wave of electricity crippled Jack, sending him writhing to the floor. Sam was zatted next, crumpling next to him. Jack tried to reach out for her, but darkness overcame him.

o-O-o

When he came to, Jack immediately sensed he was in a new location. He could also hear talking.

"We did not mean to keep you waiting, but you will be pleased to know yet another battle has been won and our territory has expanded."

Jack would never forget that voice. He continued to feign unconsciousness.

"That is wonderful news, my lady."

"Indeed. Now leave them. You will be richly rewarded for your assistance in this matter."

He wouldn't forget that one either.

"Yes, Lord Ba'al."

Jack listened as the footsteps faded away.

"O'Neill, I am not stupid." Ba'al's irritated voice sliced through the air. "Though I must say, I am glad to see you again."

"Can't say I feel the same," Jack objected, giving up his charade. He pulled himself up into a sitting position and took in his surroundings.

He was unquestionably on a mother ship and it was most definitely Tisiphone and Ba'al before him. Jack's stomach turned as he recalled the torturous pasts he and Sam had with the two. He turned to find her next to him, still out for the count.

"Wake her up, O'Neill," Tisiphone commanded, descending from her throne.

Jack watched her warily. The small woman hadn't changed at all, except the air of arrogance surrounding her seemed to have grown exponentially.

"Do it now." She now stood in front of them, arms crossed.

Jack could think of a few ways Tisiphone would go about rousing Sam, and none of them were pleasant. With a resigned sigh, he shook his companion. "Carter." She didn't move. "Carter, come on." He shook her more insistently. At last she groaned and Jack helped her sit up.

"Sir?" She was obviously confused.

"Samantha."

Jack didn't know if Tisiphone could tell, but Jack immediately saw the change in Sam's demeanor.

"Samantha, look at me."

Sam's terrified blue eyes turned to the Goa'uld.

"You should have known you would never escape me. Now I must punish you even more severely. You are difficult, Samantha, but this fact gives me great pleasure. Your defiance gives only more reason to see you suffer."

Tisiphone's lips curled into the most cliché evil villain smile Jack had ever seen. She lifted her hand, the device sheathing it beginning to glow.

"Hey, _she_ didn't escape you. _We_ took her. Punish me instead," Jack requested, getting to his feet and standing between Sam and the Goa'uld.

"I will let Ba'al decide what to do with you."

From his position on his throne, Ba'al clasped his hands and grinned. "I am sure O'Neill and I will have much to…discuss."

"Okay, your idea of discussing and my idea of dis-"

"Silence!" Tisiphone ordered with a flourish of her hand. She then redirected her attention to the other female in the room. "As for you, Samantha, I suppose I will have to keep you on Olympus to ensure you do not escape again. It is good that is where we are going. You will see the support we have amassed, how our armies have grown. Soon, the Tau'ri will succumb to the System Lords, once and for all."

Tisiphone turned to Ba'al's First Prime. Mal'tek, fortunately, was suspiciously absent. "Put them in a temporary holding cell. The lower levels have been damaged in our most recent battle, but we will return to Olympus to make repairs and gather troops and ships. We will then wield the full power of our great empire on Earth and the Tau'ri. All of your kind will learn to obey their true gods, or to perish."

o-O-o

Silence permeated every inch of the cell. Sam was quiet, obviously deep in thought, worry etched on her features. Jack didn't disturb her. There was nothing he could say that would make her feel better.

The door of their prison began to open, startling the both of them. Sam scrambled to her feet, and Jack followed.

"Oh, God." The dismayed gasp escaped Sam's lips before she could stop it. Her eyes widened and she shrank back as Jaffa, including Tisiphone's First Prime, moved into the room.

The butt of his staff weapon came to rest on the floor with a soft clunk. "Samantha." The leer on his face was nothing less than unnerving.

"No, no, no," Sam's soft voice repeated again and again. The person she'd tried so hard to forget about, to not let control her life any longer, was standing in front of her. The man who had haunted both her days and nights was now very real. Her nightmare was starting all over again.

Mal'tek tore his eyes from Sam to look at Jack. "O'Neill. I did not expect this."

"Well, neither did I," Jack groused in return. He stepped forward, putting himself between the large man and Sam. He glowered at Mal'tek, daring him to make a move. Jack had to keep himself in check. He wanted to rip the Jaffa apart with his bare hands for what he'd done to Sam, but he was in no position to do it. He couldn't act rashly; it would only make things worse. Still, he couldn't help but be a bit irreverent. "But since we're here, I have to admit, I was hoping the roles would be reversed."

Mal'tek scowled. "I see you still have not learned your place, human." He shook his head in disgust. "However, Samantha has."

"Leave her alone." Even though his back was to Sam, he could feel the anxiety flowing from her. It was that palpable.

Mal'tek looked past Jack, paying no attention to the Tau'ri's objection. He watched Sam attentively.

"Come here."

Sam registered his words, but she was frozen to her spot.

"Samantha!" Mal'tek bellowed, his tone leaving no room for her to disobey his command.

Sam took a shaky step forward, then stopped. She wanted to defy him, but she couldn't. She knew what would happen if she did. A heartbeat later she was moving again, past Jack, until she stood in front of Mal'tek.

"Closer."

Much to Jack's surprise, she complied.

"You see, O'Neill? She knows who is her master."

"You're not her master," Jack spat. "You control through fear and intimidation. And if you touch her, I'll-"

"You will what? I do as I please. O'Neill, you are the very one who left her to me. You are nothing but a coward, running away to save yourself."

Jack balled his fists, unable to find a response. Mal'tek was playing on his guilt, but he couldn't let it get to him. He couldn't let this man twist what had happened into something else. Jack had been through it hundreds of times, the various ways things could have turned out, what he could have done differently. He'd tortured himself over it. The past was the past, and he couldn't change it. But he could influence the present.

Mal'tek's hand rose from his side, towards Sam. Jack snapped into action, refusing to let her down again. But Mal'tek's fellow Jaffa promptly stopped him, blocking his path and pointing their staff weapons at him.

Barely heeding Jack, Mal'tek focused on Sam. He pulled at the elastic band holding up her ponytail, letting her hair fall loosely around her face. With a satisfied smile, Mal'tek lifted his hand and ran it through Sam's blonde locks. She looked revolted, but didn't make an attempt to stop him.

Anger and jealously flared up within Jack. He didn't want anyone touching Sam like that but him, and especially not scum like Mal'tek.

"I have thought about you often, Samantha. Have you told O'Neill of our time together?" Mal'tek's attentive gaze washed across Sam's face. Then his hand stilled and his fingers drew together, tightening around a chunk of Sam's hair. Roughly, Mal'tek used his grip on her to pull her towards him.

"Answer when you are spoken to!" he roared, twisting the tuft of hair in his grasp.

Sam did her best to look her captor in the eye. "I'm…I'm not afraid of you." Her voice trembled, revealing what she was desperately trying to conceal.

"Ha!" Mal'tek scoffed. "You lie. You are terrified." He sounded almost smug about it. Mal'tek leaned in, whispering something only she could hear.

Jack watched her face crumble little by little, word by word. Any semblance of courage she had tried to show was wiped away.

Mal'tek let go of her, and Sam stumbled back, but stayed upright. The Jaffa released Jack and they disappeared through the doorway, and he and Sam were alone once again.

Sam turned, clearly shaken. As Jack moved to her, she surprised him by leaning into his chest. Jack hesitated for a moment, caught off guard. Then his arms went around her, holding her protectively. He didn't want her to have to endure this.

"I can't do this again," she whispered into his shirt.

Jack withheld his sigh.

Neither could he.

TBC in 'A Means of Escape'


	73. A Means of Escape

Ch. 72 A Means of Escape

Jack watched Sam run her hand along the control panel on the wall. "What are you thinking?"

"I don't know."

"We can't get out. We tried that once before." Back when Teal'c had been brainwashed by Apophis. A lifetime ago.

"A lot has happened since then. I've had a lot of time to think about...things." Sam let her hand drop to her side and she turned to face Jack.

"You think you might have a shot at it then?" Jack earnestly wondered.

"Maybe. If I could get the panel open."

"What about this?" Jack pulled a crude utensil from his boot.

Sam's eyebrow rose in surprise.

"Saved this from dinner, lunch…whatever. Never know when you might need a…spork." He shrugged. It wasn't sharp and couldn't help them as a weapon, but the item might have some usefulness. "Do you think it will do?"

Sam stepped away from the wall to get a better look at the potential tool in Jack's hand. "Possibly," she replied, grasping for it.

Jack pulled the utensil out of her reach. "But even if we get out of here, what next? We're stuck on this ship at least until we exit hyperspace."

"Well…we'll wait until we drop out when we reach Olympus. Then we'll get out of here, steal a glider, and use that advantage to clear the gate and escape."

She made it sound simple, but Jack supposed it was possible. They'd done crazier things, and they couldn't remain on the ship. The only other option was to ring down, but Jack didn't think it would be a good idea to transport right into the middle of Tisiphone's base. "There's only going to be a small window of time to escape before they realize what's happened."

"I know, and that's only if I can do this." Sam swiveled back around and focused on the panel.

Coming up behind her, Jack slipped the tool into her hand. "You can."

Sam turned her head so that she could see him with her peripheral vision. "If they catch me working on this…"

Jack patted her shoulder reassuringly. "Don't worry about that. Focus on this and only this."

As she began to pry away the panel, Jack stepped back to give her some space. The scene before him sent him back to previous missions, past times. He had always counted on her to get them out of tight situations.

He was counting on her still.

o-O-o

Jack waited with closed eyes. With bated breath. He waited for the moment he could feel them drop out of hyperspace.

Sam had done it. After diligently working on the control panel, and a few choice words when the crystals delivered her a minor shock, she'd overridden the system. Now they were biding their time. There had not been much conversation between the two, but Jack figured Sam's mind was full, not only with worries about the present, but also with thoughts of her father.

A slight jolt tore Jack from his own contemplations and he stood to his feet. "This is it."

"Okay." Her voice wavered slightly, but Sam boldly began to work on the controls. The door came up a fraction, but then refused to budge. "Come on, you can do it," she whispered. Whether she was talking to the door or to herself was unclear.

At last the door began to inch up, stopping at the halfway point. It was as viable an escape route as any.

"Good job, Sam." Jack poked his head under the door and scanned the corridor. "It's clear. Come on." He stepped out into the hall, and once Sam's blonde head appeared, he turned in the direction of the glider bay.

Sam, however, headed the other way.

"Whoa, wait a sec. The glider bay is this way," he hissed, trying to get her attention.

Sam turned. "I know. Go ahead."

"_What_?"

"I've got something to take care of."

"Carter," Jack started to dispute, but he'd heard the insistence in her voice, and he saw the resolve in her eyes. "Well…not without me."

Jack followed and didn't question her; he trusted her implicitly. Whatever she was intent on doing, it had to be important.

He soon discovered what 'it' was when they came upon the engine room and Sam pulled open one of the drawers containing control crystals. Scanning them with both her eyes and her finger, she finally found the one she'd been searching for.

"What does that do?" Jack wondered, peering over her shoulder, then back over his own to make sure they were still in the clear.

"It's a regulatory crystal."

"What does it regulate?"

"Power."

He looked on as Sam rearranged a few crystals. "So if you take that out and do…whatever it is you're doing…"

"Not too long from now, there will be a massive build up of energy and this ship will explode."

"Sam, are you sure about this?" Jack didn't know why he was questioning her; he wanted the Goa'uld dead as much as anyone. Sam herself had been involved in the elimination of many a System Lord and their men. If they didn't rid themselves of Ba'al and Tisiphone now, they would have to at some later point, not to mention Earth was at risk. But as he watched her unreadable eyes meet his questioning ones, there was one word that filled his mind.

Retribution.

Sam pushed the compartment closed. "Like I said, I had a long time to consider things. We need to get going."

"No argument from me there," Jack held up his hands in compliance.

Once again, Sam led the way down the dimly lit passageways. They had almost made it to the bay when the ship's alarm sounded.

"Go!" Jack pushed her forward. He didn't have to tell her twice as she fled quickly down the hall towards the glider bay, her bare feet slapping against the hard floor.

When they reached the bay, the duo climbed into the first ship they came to. There was no time to be picky. Jack gave Sam a boost into the back seat before jumping into the front. No sooner had they secured themselves in the cockpit than Mal'tek came into view.

"Go. Go!" Sam prodded as they were fired upon. They couldn't get caught. It would be certain death, either by Mal'tek's hand or the imminent explosion.

Jack sent the signal to the bay doors to open. "Let's get out of here."

Sam turned to look as they made their way towards freedom. She gulped as she saw Mal'tek getting into his own death glider. "He's following us."

Jack nodded. The doors were finally opened wide enough for them to make it through.

"Punch it!" Sam shouted, almost as an order, anxiety piercing her voice.

"Punching it, ma'am!"

Sam felt a slight pull as they zipped out of the bay into space. She stared out of the cockpit. The beauty of the universe would never cease to amaze her. Below them, Olympus was a wash of blues, greens, and browns, with white clouds smattered here and there.

"Olympus?" Jack confirmed as they sped away from the ship.

"If we try to make it elsewhere in a glider, it could take-"

"Olympus it is, then!" Jack agreed. "That is, if we can lose him. Bogey on our six."

"We've got to shoot him down, sir!" Not simply evade him, but get rid of him. If they didn't, they would be the ones shot down. Mal'tek would be relentless.

"That's what I'm trying to do, Major!" Jack yelled as he dodged weapons fire from Mal'tek. It was strange how easily they fell back into the CO/2IC routine. Still, their relationship had grown far outside those professional bounds.

"When is that thing supposed to blow? If we can lure him close enough to the ship, we can get two birds with one stone," he suggested.

"Anytime now. And we don't want to get too close ourselves," Sam warned.

"I know." Jack pulled a U-turn, getting a few shots off at the enemy glider before veering off to the right. But however handily Jack maneuvered the glider, Mal'tek was handier. He made a pass near the ha'tak, with the First Prime right behind. "This isn't going to work," he muttered. "But, ah, your idea did."

From the depths of the mother ship came a spectacular, orange fireball, engulfing the vessel in flames.

Sam's eyes widened, the explosion reflected in the pools of blue. "Oh, my God."

Tisiphone. Ba'al. Hundreds of Jaffa. Dead. All dead.

Because of her.

She couldn't dwell on the thought too long as their glider lurched roughly to the side. Jack cursed as he tried to regain control. They'd been hit.

Jack steered as best he could, but he knew there was only one thing he could do. "It's going to be a rough landing. Hold on!" He aimed the death glider in the direction of the planet.

Sam closed her eyes and prayed. To whom, she wasn't sure. She just prayed.

"Uh, Carter?"

"Yes, sir?" Sam popped her eyes open.

"We might not make it out of this."

"Don't say that!" she admonished. They _had_ to make it out of this.

"We've been here before, Sam."

"Here?"

"Okay, maybe not _here_ here," Jack said hastily as the stars disappeared and clouds began to whiz past them. "But I won't let it happen again!"

"What?" Sam shook her head, confused.

"Not tell you that…"

The trees were becoming larger, the glider more difficult to control.

"Not tell me what?" Sam cried as they were jolted back and forth.

"That I love you!"

TBC in 'Retaliation'


	74. Retaliation

Ch. 73 Retaliation

"Oh, crap."

Jack slowly opened his eyes. If he could feel this kind of pain, he must still be alive. His hand brushed across his temple, and when he pulled it away, bright red blood was smeared across it. But other than that, and possibly a case of whiplash, Jack figured he was okay. If he was fine, then more than likely-

"Sam!" Jack jerked around to look at his companion. She lay slumped in her seat. "Hey! Carter!" His voice rose and he reached his hand into the back seat, gently prodding her.

Startled, Sam came to.

Jack exhaled, relieved. "You okay?"

Sam blinked. "Umm…" She stretched her extremities and rolled her shoulders, trying to take stock of her condition. "I think so," she replied with only a slight grimace.

Jack nodded. "Good. We've got to get moving, though." Chances were good that Mal'tek was not far off. He pressed the button to open the cockpit, but nothing happened.

"Sir?"

"It won't open." Jack surveyed the glass that enclosed them, and finding a crack already running the length of the left side, he lifted his arm. "Watch out."

Sam shielded her face as he hit the glass again and again. When it gave away, Jack excised himself from his seat and cleared the jagged shards.

He stepped out on the wing and small drops of rain misted his face. "Great," he muttered. Jack held his hand out to Sam and pulled her from her seat. "Careful," he told her, noting her bare feet. "You want my shoes?"

Sam examined his large boots before shaking her head no. Then she carefully maneuvered the slippery length of the glider's wing and nimbly jumped to the forest floor.

Following suit, Jack came to stand by her. He had tried to land in a clearing, but the glider had had other plans. After careening through some foliage, they'd finally come to a stop. Woods surrounded them. Looking up at the towering trees, Jack wondered what they would do next.

The question was answered as Sam tensed. "He's coming."

Upon looking around, Jack didn't see or hear anything, but he didn't doubt her.

"Come on!" She grasped his hand and pulled him forward.

Jack raced behind her. Sam's pace stayed relatively steady, even as her unprotected feet ran over sticks, rocks, and other hazards on the uneven terrain. Fear and adrenaline could drive a person to block out pain, and Sam plunged ahead as though she felt nothing.

They weren't moving quickly enough, though, as blasts from a staff weapon began to rain around them. Sam tugged at Jack, going faster than before. He craned his head around and spotted Mal'tek not far behind them, charging though the woods. The Jaffa's face was contorted in anger. Their eyes connected as Mal'tek discharged the staff weapon.

"Whoa!" Jack pushed Sam down as he felt the searing heat of the blast whiz over them. He didn't even have time to ask if she was all right. Jack yanked Sam up and they were off again. The chase was on, and Jack didn't want to think about how it could end. They were at a serious disadvantage.

The two ran, dodging both trees and staff blasts, but they weren't putting much distance between them and Mal'tek. Another shot came too close, and Jack instinctively ducked. However, he didn't see the gnarled root in his path and his foot caught it. He felt the painful twisting of his knee as his leg turned unnaturally. And he couldn't catch himself as he tumbled down an incline.

"Sir!" he heard Sam shout from somewhere above him.

Landing with a thud, Jack groaned. Moments later, he felt Sam's worried hands on him.

"Are you okay?"

"That would be a no." Jack clutched at his leg, debilitating pain emanating from his knee. He watched Sam's eyes fill with panic. They couldn't get away now. At least not both of them.

"Sam, get out of here."

Her eyes traveled to the top of the ravine, ignoring his attempt to persuade her to leave. She was focusing on Mal'tek as he began to make his way toward them.

"Go!" Jack shouted, pushing at her.

She didn't move, either out of terror or reluctance to leave him. "N..no!" she found her voice. "I can't. I won't!"

"Carter, don't be stupid. Go!"

Before she could argue anymore, Mal'tek was upon her. With one arm, he easily hefted Sam away from Jack.

"Do you know what you have done?" Mal'tek bellowed. He let go of Sam, who had barely found her balance. She didn't answer him; there was nothing to say.

A roar of fury left his mouth as his hand swung at Sam. His palm connected with her cheek, a sharp crack echoing through the gully. Sam stumbled back, but kept her footing. Mal'tek advanced on her, this time balling his hand into a fist. "Samantha," he growled, his rage uncontained. He threw one punch and then another. The second strike knocked Sam to the ground with a whimper.

"Sam!" Jack cried. He tried to get up, but a staff weapon was swiftly pushed into his face.

"Do not think of it, O'Neill. This is between Samantha and I."

"No, it was me!" Jack shouted, the lie flowing from his lips. "I blew up that ship!"

"You did not. You have not the capability to do so," he remarked snidely. "This one, however..." Mal'tek strode to Sam, who lay in a heap on the forest floor. He tossed his staff to the side.

"Stop! God, just leave her alone!" Jack's plea fell on deaf ears as Mal'tek grasped Sam once again.

Jack tried to get up, but his entire leg protested. He let out a moan as pain shot through his body. He'd messed his leg up good going down. There was no way he was getting up.

He felt his stomach turn as he took in Mal'tek's rough treatment of Sam. She was powerless against him. Not only was Sam physically no match for the First Prime, Mal'tek had spent a year tearing down any mental and emotional defenses she had. Jack had known the impact Mal'tek had on her, and now seeing it play out…she wasn't even defending herself against his onslaught, perhaps because she'd learned long ago it was pointless to try.

Jack began to pull himself towards the two, biting back the throbbing pain in his leg. He might not be able to walk, but he couldn't sit there and watch this happen. As he drew closer, he saw Mal'tek's discarded staff weapon. He had to get to it. He had to help Sam.

But before he could get within reach, Mal'tek blocked Jack's path. Looking to his right, he saw Sam, still and silent. Jack swallowed, then glanced up at the menacing Jaffa.

"I think not, Jack O'Neill. I have other plans for you."

o-O-o

As Sam came to, all she could make out was green. A large blur of green. Then she remembered where she was. She tried to focus as she sat up on the damp forest floor. The last thing she recalled before blacking out was Jack...

"Jack!"

In her haste to locate him, Sam moved too quickly and the world began spinning again. Taking deep breaths, she regained her composure and her balance. Her whole body ached from Mal'tek's attack. He'd been enraged at her. She'd killed his master and his brethren. If she thought she'd ticked him off before, she'd really done it this time.

She began to survey the area again, this time more carefully, looking for either Jack or Mal'tek. She could only pray Jack was okay. Then she spotted what she'd been looking for, though it wasn't at all what she wanted to see.

Not far from the location they'd come to a stop at was a creek. It was rushing from the rainy weather, and now Mal'tek stood a couple of yards into the water. Sam could see the struggling figure he was holding down.

Sam pulled herself up, doing her best not to garner the attention of the Jaffa. Jack needed her help and she needed to act quickly, before Mal'tek knew she was awake. What she was going to do, she wasn't sure. She had no weapons, but then Sam's eyes landed on Mal'tek's staff, abandoned near the shore. Moving as silently as she could, she headed for it. Jack's struggles were becoming less pronounced and her heart began to beat in her throat. Even without his injuries, Mal'tek would have overpowered him. Sam knew just how strong he was from personal experience; Jack didn't have much time.

At last her hands closed around the weapon, but Sam cringed when she heard his voice.

"Samantha."

Sam's eyes unwittingly began to blur as she stared at the ground in front of her. She hated that he called her that. She hated he called her Samantha. "Let him go," she ground out. Her battered hand picked the staff up from the ground.

Mal'tek scoffed. "You will not shoot me. You do not have it in you." He pressed down harder on Jack, forcing his head deeper into the water.

Sam's hand tightened around the object in her grasp. Her hands shook as she aimed the staff at Mal'tek. She was scared to death of this man, but even more, she was scared of losing Jack.

"I will and I do." She primed the weapon, indicating she planned to carry out her threat.

Mal'tek smirked haughtily. "You will not do it." He glanced down at Jack's still form. "You are weak."

The First Prime didn't flinch or even appear concerned. Did he really think he still had that much control over her? Anger began to seep through Sam. Mal'tek had done so many horrible things to her. He'd tried to destroy everything she was. He'd come so close…

Sam set her jaw. She wouldn't allow him to take anything else from her. It had to end sometime.

It had to end now.

TBC in 'Angel Standing By'


	75. Angel Standing By

A/N: Thank you all for your continued support. I'm sorry I haven't gotten to reply to reviews yet, but I am soooo tired tonight. I figured I'd better at least get a chapter up before I fall asleep!

Ch. 74 Angel Standing By

Surprise crossed Mal'tek's face moments before the blast impacted him. He fell into the stream, his hold on Jack, who lay face down in the icy water, lost. Sam rushed forward from her spot, letting the staff slip from her hands. She waded out to Jack, ignoring Mal'tek's body as it floated nearby. Slimy mud squished in between her toes, her already torn soles on fire. But she didn't care what she stepped on; her singular objective was to get to Jack.

Sam grasped him by the shirt and pulled him from the water, dragging his water-laden form to dry land. She collapsed next to him, catching her breath. "Jack?" Sam grasped his chin with her hand, turning his head to the side. Water dribbled from his lips and she shook him gently. He was completely unresponsive, his skin an ashen gray. He wasn't breathing and when she checked for his pulse, she found none.

"No…no!"

Sam pushed her hair behind her, letting her anxious fingers run through the strands. She knew what she had to do. There was still a chance.

She gently tilted his head back. He was cold, so cold. Making sure his airway was clear, Sam pinched Jack's nose shut and leaned in. Hovering over him, inches from his face, Sam hesitated for just a moment. With the back of her hand, she wiped the blood from her busted lip. Then closing her eyes, she pressed her lips over his and breathed into him once, twice. Then she began the compressions, pressing on his chest almost frantically. "Come on," she pleaded. "Come on!"

Jack didn't stir after the first cycle of compressions, so Sam bent over again, trying to breathe life into his body. She moved her hands to his chest, but before Sam had a chance to start again, Jack began coughing, water spewing from his mouth like a fountain.

"Yes!" she yelped joyfully. Sam reached around him, helping him sit upright. After coughing the rest of the water up, Jack sank back to the ground, exhausted.

A smile danced along Sam's lips. She pushed his bangs off of his forehead, letting her grin widen as color filled his cheeks again. Her fingers trailed along his features, lingering on his face. He was alive. _Alive_.

Jack peered up at Sam. He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen such a smile grace her face. He coughed a bit, then breathed in deeply, grateful for the air reaching his starved lungs. "I swear you're my guardian angel."

Sam half laughed, half cried. Then she leaned down and captured his lips with hers. The spontaneous act surprised them both. But it was brief; there was no chance to deepen the kiss before Sam pulled away and buried her face in his chest, shaking as sobs overwhelmed her.

"Sam?" Jack questioned, astounded at the vast array of emotions she had just displayed.

"He's gone," she whispered against his damp clothing. She could never be victimized by him again. No longer could he hurt her or anyone else she cared about. With a single blast from a staff weapon, Sam had not only saved Jack, she'd saved herself. There was no satisfaction in ending the vile Jaffa's life, simply relief. And that relief flowed from Sam in the form of tears.

"Oh." Jack settled his hand against her back, comprehending. "It's okay. It's over."

"No," Sam replied, pulling away from him. Her hand batted at the tears on her cheeks. It wouldn't be over until they'd made it home. "We've got to get you home."

Jack took in the bruises already forming on Sam's pale skin, her bloodied lip. "Are you okay?" he worried.

"Yes. What about you?"

Jack sat up, Sam's hand lending support. "I think I'll live." His dark eyes held hers appreciatively. "Thank you."

Sam nodded. She would do anything for him. Surely he knew that by now. "Can you stand?"

"Maybe." He grasped Sam's hand when she offered it to him, but as she rose to her own two feet, she winced.

"Carter?"

Sighing, she sat down next to Jack once again and looked at the soles of her feet. Blood seeped from a smattering of cuts. None were too deep, but the mud intermingling with them was an infection waiting to happen. She heaved a sigh at her predicament.

"Take my shoes," Jack offered, for the second time that day.

Sam eyed his boots. "I couldn't."

"You can and you will."

"No," she asserted herself. "I can't risk stumbling or twisting my ankle because your shoes are too big."

"And you can risk cutting your feet to shreds?"

"Give me your socks, and you keep the shoes." It was a compromise. Her feet would have more protection, but she wouldn't have to worry about Jack's large shoes hampering her efforts to get them to the gate.

Jack capitulated. "This is ridiculous, but okay." He pulled off one shoe, but when he got to the one on his injured leg, he couldn't quite reach. Sam leaned forward and undid the laces, sliding the boot off.

Jack nodded his gratitude before yanking his wet sock off. Sam delicately peeled off the other one. On any other day it might have disgusted her, but they were both soaked. She assisted him with replacing his shoes and tying them. He didn't grumble about her decision, but did whisper a quiet thank you. Then Sam rose and limped to the water.

Sitting on the bank, she dipped her feet in, running her hands over the bottoms, washing away the blood and grime. Then she slipped the socks on. They were just long enough that she could fold them back down and over her feet again, giving her twice the protection. The socks helped, but her feet still stung as she walked back to Jack. She held back any complaints. "Ready?"

"Yeah."

Sam picked up the staff weapon that she'd thrown down as she'd hurried to help Jack. "Here."

Jack held onto the stick with one hand, and Sam wrapped her arm around his waist. Jack pulled up on the staff while she hoisted him up with her own strength. He leaned heavily against Sam, but once he gained his balance, Jack stood straight and the strain on her tired body was lifted.

Sam looked around. Perhaps they'd follow the creek for a while and see what they could find. They would never make it up the steep incline they'd come down in their present conditions. Maybe they could find Mal'tek's glider. It could possibly come in handy, and the more firepower they had, the better.

Jack glanced to Sam. He knew he was a burden. "Carter, maybe you should just leave me. I'll only slow you down."

"That's not an option," she shook her head. "I'm not leaving you."

"I don't know how you expect to-"

"Sir," Sam interrupted. "I mean this in the nicest possible way, but-"

"What?"

"Shut up."

TBC in 'Memento Vivere'


	76. Memento Vivere

Ch. 75 Memento Vivere

Night had fallen on Olympus. The dreariness of the day had continued on into the evening. The temperature had dropped as well. Weary from travel, Sam and Jack had decided to bed down for the night. There was no good place to settle down; the only option they could find that might suffice was a cluster of bushes. Beads of cold water splashed against them, but the shrubs provided at least some shelter from the elements. They hadn't even attempted to start a fire, as it would only serve to reveal their location to their enemies.

The two had tried to trek back towards where they'd crashed and the clearing they were certain Mal'tek must have landed in. Their movements had been slow, their injured bodies taking them only so fast. In the end, they had come up empty handed in their search. They were well and truly lost.

Sam shivered, wrapping her arms around herself.

"You're freezing."

Sam dropped her head and looked at Jack, at least what she could make out of him in the darkness. It had been quite the task pulling him into their hiding place. His knee was swollen, and though he didn't complain about the pain, she was sure the discomfort was still there.

"I'm fine," she answered, even though he was right. Her thin tank top and pajama bottoms weren't doing much to keep her warm. They were soaked through and clinging to her body. Goosebumps littered her exposed arms.

"'I'm fine, I'm fine,'" he gently mocked her. "Carter, get down here." His fingers brushed across her wrist.

Sam didn't try and dissuade him again, but lay down next to him. It wouldn't be the first time they'd held each other on this planet. And maybe, if they were lucky, it would be the last.

"Come 'ere." Jack reached out and Sam let him pull her to his chest.

"How's the leg?" she murmured.

"How's the feet?" he deflected.

Sam shrugged. They stung from the lacerations decorating them, and dully ached from the walking she'd done, but she'd survive.

Jack's hand began to absently run along her arm in an attempt to warm her up. His fingers ran across her bra strap, which had slipped down her shoulder. Without missing a beat, he slipped it back under her top and continued running his hand along her arm.

"Try and get some sleep," he ordered.

It was doubtful she'd get any sleep at all. Her mind was racing, trying to comprehend all that had happened and attempting to figure out their next move. But as she snuggled against Jack's warm body, Sam felt a sense of peace descend over her. Everything might be stacked against them, but even if they were to die on this planet, to lose the battle on this cold, dark night, they were together.

That was all that mattered.

o-O-o

"Do you know how many people I killed today?"

Jack's ears perked up at Sam's subdued voice. Sleep had not come for either of them, and by the sound of it, Sam had a lot on her mind.

"I'm responsible."

Jack shook his head. Now, in the calm of the night, they'd both had time to contemplate the day's events, to process what had happened. It had been an emotional roller coaster for the blonde in his arms. And the fact she was feeling guilt over what happened meant that no matter what she'd been through, she still had a good heart.

"Do you know how many people you saved today?" he asked.

"What?"

"How many more people would Tisiphone and Ba'al have enslaved? Tortured? Murdered?"

Silence answered him.

"You saved me. Again. And now Mal'tek can never…" Jack closed his eyes, his own emotions getting the best of him. That monster would never touch her again. His hand searched out her face in the dim light, smoothing away her hair. He placed a chaste kiss on her forehead. "You did the right thing."

"It doesn't feel like it. I know it was what needed to be done, but…"

"You're a good person, Sam. The best. That you can still feel something for those who hurt you so badly…I don't know how…" Jack shook his head. "Just know that you saved infinitely more people today than were on that ship."

Sam shook her head. "I hate what I've become. The things that I've done. Things I never thought-"

"Carter," Jack interrupted. "We all do things we're not proud of. They pushed you, Sam, and you had to push back." Extreme situations called for extreme measures.

"Yes, sir."

After that, Sam was quiet against him. Jack's own thoughts wandered to the state of the galaxy. The balance of power had drastically changed. The free Jaffa would definitely have an advantage now with so many of their brothers masterless. The remaining Goa'uld would squabble amongst themselves, but none were threats like Ba'al and Tisiphone had been. However, only time would tell.

o-O-o

Sam lay with Jack, their combined body heat helping to combat the chills coursing through her. The rain had picked up again; steady drops of water now infiltrated their hideaway. Closing her eyes, Sam wrapped her arm more tightly around Jack. Her proximity guaranteed she could feel the occasional shivers that ran through him as well.

Perhaps Jack was right. She'd done the right thing. Wasn't that why she'd been on SG-1? To stop the Goa'uld from their terrorizing reign on the galaxy? Maybe so, but guilt still bubbled within her.

The Stargate program had brought so much pain to her life. The Goa'uld had caused her such agony and strife. They'd taken so much from her. But the gate had also given so much back. Her dream to go to space had been fulfilled and more. She'd met the most dear friends she'd ever had. Her father's life had been saved, at least for a while.

A sob caught in Sam's throat. The madness of being kidnapped and their subsequent escape had not given her much time to dwell on the loss of her dad. She would likely miss his funeral, she considered. There was no way they'd make it home before then, if they made it home at all.

If they made it out of this…

Her thoughts traveled back to Jack's confession as their glider had careened into the planet. There hadn't been a chance for her to respond, and even as they'd traipsed through the woods, it had not come up. But he'd wanted her to know, without a doubt, that he loved her. It had been a somewhat cliché admission of love, but he'd had a point.

_Let him love you._

Her father's words resounded in her head. Sam had been living with the notion love would only leave her with pain and loneliness. That it wasn't worth it to let anyone in. To play it safe with her heart. Then Olympus had happened, throwing her entire life into a tailspin, along with every thought and perception she'd ever had.

The truth was, her heart ached without Jack. It was a pain deeper and more acute than anything Mal'tek or Tisiphone had ever inflicted on her. And the incredible lonesomeness she felt was of her own making. She was scared to let go, to let him in. She pushed him away out of fear. She was hurting and alone, not because of love, but because she refused it.

There were no doubts Jack loved her. She knew she was desperately in love with him. There shouldn't have been a problem, but there was.

"Sam?"

She'd unknowingly alerted Jack to her inner struggle. "I'm okay," she whispered, but her voice hitched, signifying she clearly was not.

"Is it your dad?"

"No…"

"What is it?"

How could she tell him? How could she possibly tell him? But it couldn't be any more painful or lonely than the place she was at.

Sam inhaled deeply, willing herself not to change her mind. They were the words she'd wanted to tell him for so many years. Words that would change her life. Their lives. There were no truer words she could speak.

"I…love you." But she was afraid. Afraid of so many things.

Jack didn't seem shocked at her admission, and Sam could sense his pleasure. And even in the darkness, unable to read her face, he could sense her tentativeness.

"_I_ love you," he murmured. "And I will _always_ be there for you. No matter what."

If she would only allow herself to go there, to truly believe in the certainty that he loved her. That no matter her past, or the secrets and demons that plagued her, or any truths that would inevitably come out in the future…Jack loved her and _would _love her, whether Sam thought she deserved it or not. He would be there for her, always.

_No matter what._

o-O-o

_She lay on the cold, damp floor. She was curled into a ball, arms wrapped around her midsection. She hadn't eaten in days. They refused to give her sustenance until she talked. The ache in her belly was trying to whittle away at her resolve, but she would never talk. _

_A slight tingle went down her spine and Sam knew he was back. Back from wherever he'd been for…she'd lost track of time. She closed her eyes, hoping that maybe, for once, he'd turn away and let her be. _

_But a prod from his boot proved her act hadn't worked. Then another kick, and another._

_A powerful strike knocked Sam out of her fetal position, and she rolled across the floor. She was in no state to defend herself, but Mal'tek's unprovoked assault on her continued. _

"_I didn't do anything!" she managed to gasp out as his armored boot dug into her ribs._

"_Do not speak unless spoken to!" He bent to her level, grasping her chin in his large hand. "But that is correct, Samantha," he agreed. "You have done nothing. You refuse to tell us what we wish to know. You continue to be difficult. When will you learn?"_

_Sam shied away from him, not providing him with any answers._

"_Look at me! Answer me!"_

_Sam involuntarily jumped at his shouts. She squeezed her eyes shut, wishing she were somewhere else. Anywhere else. _

"_Then shall we end it as we did previously?" His hand rested on the sheathed knife at his side. "Or shall we take a different approach to make you speak?"_

_Sam remained silent._

"_So be it."_

_Swiftly, he pulled her from the cell that had become her home. She was weak and could barely keep up with him. Sam soon realized they were not headed for the throne room or for the surface, but for Mal'tek's quarters._

"_No. Please don't!"_

"_You have asked for this with your silence." Mal'tek pushed her against the wall of the cavern, the jagged rocks digging into her back. He leaned in close enough that she could smell his sour breath. There was a leer on his lips; he never felt shame for his vile acts._

_Repulsion churned in the pit of Sam's stomach, chasing away the hunger pains. Her heart lurched into her throat as Mal'tek began to pull her down the corridor once more. All she could do was follow. Tears stung her eyes, but remained unshed. _

_The crying would come later. _

In the early morning shadows, Jack saw the trails of tears slipping from the corners of Sam's eyes. She'd finally fallen asleep next to him, but it had been fitful, accompanied by tossing and turning. And from the looks of it, also by things that she couldn't escape the emotional impact of, even in slumber. There was some hope that now her tormentors were dead, Sam could get on with her life. Still, even though they were gone, the scars they'd left on Sam were not.

Reaching out, Jack brushed the moisture away with the pad of his thumb. Sam stirred at his touch. "Carter," he whispered, attempting to rouse her.

Her brow furrowed and her nose wrinkled as her head twisted away from his touch. Her watery eyes reluctantly opened and focused on him.

"Hey."

Sam sniffed lightly and wiped her face with the back of her hand. "What?" Her voice was sleep filled, and she was obviously wondering why he'd woken her. She glanced around their enclosure, then back to him.

"Everything's fine." Almost, he thought as he watched her. "Why are you crying?"

"I…" Sam paused, as if trying to process the question, then shook her head.

"What is it?" Jack asked. "What's wrong?" He quieted and waited for an answer. The twittering of a bird cut through the silence. The new day was fast approaching.

After a few moments, Sam shrugged noncommittally. She didn't want to explain, or couldn't. Either was not an unusual occurrence. "Me, I guess…" she finally said. "_I'm_ wrong."

"There's nothing wrong with you, Sam. Nothing." She was everything that was right in his life. Jack tried to pull her closer, to reassure her, but she tensed, not allowing it.

"You said you'd always be there for me, that nothing could make you love me less."

"Right…" Jack didn't think he'd done anything to make her think otherwise, to exacerbate her fears. His arms were suddenly empty as Sam completely removed herself from his hold. She sat up with her back to him and wrapped her arms around her knees.

Biting back the pain, Jack sat up behind her. He watched her for a moment before extending his arm, letting his hand rest on her bare shoulder. She didn't flinch or yank away, but spoke in a quivering, small voice.

"I'm not who you think I am…I'm not who _I_ thought I was."

Jack frowned. She didn't talk about her insecurities with him. He'd known she had some self-doubts, that her sense of self-worth was severely damaged, but it wasn't a topic Sam spoke freely about.

"No one could have gone through what you did and come out unaffected, Sam. No one," he guaranteed her. "I know what you're thinking, but in spite of everything that they said, that they did…you _are_ still Samantha Carter." Maybe she'd never be quite the same, but he'd seen the old Sam reemerging, little by little. Underneath the layers of hurt, shame, and uncertainty, she was still there.

"But you don't understand."

"Don't understand what?"

"I wasn't strong enough. I tried to defy them, tried to be strong, but it was pointless." She let out a small, resigned sigh. "Do you know what it's like to know that no matter what you do, nothing will change? That maybe you just shouldn't fight it anymore?"

Jack knew what Sam was getting at. She was a fighter, but she'd faced losing battle after losing battle. She'd been pushed to her breaking point, until the spirit that was so uniquely Sam had literally been beaten out of her. He'd seen her with Mal'tek, seen how she'd obeyed, how she'd not put up a fight. She saw it as giving up; any kind of submission to her captors was a failure. In reality, it was a form of self-preservation. Sam had been in an unrelenting hell, and there had been no reason to purposefully worsen her situation, as he was sure she'd painfully learned.

"You did what you had to to survive. I know you, and I know you didn't give in to them. You weren't weak, you were just trying to save yourself."

Sam's head turned from side to side, as if he still didn't get it. "But I didn't. I'm so screwed up. You say you want me, but you don't know. You don't know what he did to me."

He let his hand remain on her shoulder, and leaning in, Jack rested his head against her back. She was trembling beneath him.

"I've wanted you for a long time," he admitted, more easily than he ever thought he could. "That hasn't changed. It won't. Whatever it is, you can tell me." There was something she'd refused to breathe a word of, something else that she held back from him. Something that haunted her, that she feared could destroy the relationship they had. After a stretch of silence, Jack worried she wouldn't talk, that once again they'd get nowhere. But when Sam's soft voice reached his ears, he was proven wrong.

"His orders were to make me suffer for what I'd done. To make me talk. To break me. He was to use any means necessary to achieve that goal." Sam's breath caught in her throat in an attempt to curtail the tears. It was a valiant effort, but not a successful one. "Oh, God!" she cried. "I can't even begin to tell you…"

Jack didn't say anything, instead letting his actions speak; he'd always been better at doing that. His free hand slipped through the tiny space between her abdomen and legs, pulling her closer to him. He hoped his continued presence and the display of affection would give Sam the encouragement she needed to continue. Finally, she did.

"He was so overpowering, so domineering." Sobs threatened to choke her as she recalled her tormentor. "I tried to stand up to him, but there was never anything I could do. I couldn't stop him from…" Jack could feel the deep intake of breath before she spoke. "From raping me." The confession spilled from her lips, filled with contempt for herself and for the man responsible, and laced with fears of rejection.

Jack closed his eyes, cursing silently. He'd hoped against hope it hadn't happened, but truthfully, he'd suspected it. But to hear her say it broke, no, crushed his heart. Her words impacted him more than he'd ever imagined.

"I'm sorry, Sam. I'm so sorry." He tried not to let his own voice break. Knowing what she'd gone through because of him tore at his soul.

Jack could feel her heart thudding wildly in her chest as she buried her face into her knees, and the heaves of her body as she silently cried out the pain and humiliation she'd kept bottled up inside. Sam rarely offered up any details of her time as a prisoner; it was an experience she kept tucked away and well guarded. She feared the ramifications of admitting anything, but especially something so intimately personal.

She'd also erroneously assumed how her friends would react, how he would react. She assumed she was damaged and worthless, that no one would want her because of what she feared she'd become, because of what had been done to her. Sam's next words only confirmed this.

"Please don't tell Daniel and Teal'c," she pleaded, lifting her head.

"I won't," he reassured her. She would tell them when she was ready, and when she did, he was certain their friends would love her just the same. Sam's admission wouldn't change things as much as she feared. They would still love her. So would he.

"Sam?" Jack pulled back, allowing his hands to lose their hold on her.

She didn't move, or give any indication she'd heard him. She'd made her confessions with her back to him, and even now she wouldn't look at him. Jack knew she was ashamed and that she was hurting, but what he needed to say he would not say to her back.

"Turn around, Sam." There was no response. "Turn around. Please."

At last Sam shifted, her face coming into view. Her gaze was downcast, lashes hiding her eyes. Her cheeks glistened with tears.

"I meant what I said. I love you."

Sam let out a sound somewhere between a gasp and a sob. "But-"

"No buts," he stopped her. "I want to be with you." He lifted his hand to her face, delicately running his thumb across her moist cheek. "When will you understand that?"

Sam leaned into his touch, her fragile composure lost as she began to weep again.

"Come 'ere," Jack told her, bringing her closer.

Sam welcomed his embrace, hugging him fiercely.

"You listen to me," Jack breathed. "I know they did unforgivable things to you. Things no one should ever have to go through. But don't you ever think you were weak, or that somehow you are less of a person. Don't believe anything they said to you, any of the lies they told. Look at me," he ordered, separating himself from Sam. He tilted her chin so that her eyes settled on his. "You are…you are everything I want."

Her eyes widened slightly as tears continued to flow from the crystalline blue. But there were no more protests, no more excuses. She'd been fighting against him for so long, putting up wall after wall, refusing to allow him in. Now those defenses were down.

Jack's thumb trailed along the edge of her bottom lip as he kept eye contact with Sam. It was something so rare for her to look at him, to actually look at him. And it took all his will power to not lean in and kiss her right then and there.

"I don't ever want to be alone like that again," she whispered. There was a seriousness in her voice, a plea. The anguish in her eyes spoke volumes about the suffering she'd endured on her own.

Jack wished more than anything he could have been there. That he could have been her comfort, even if he couldn't protect her. He knew exactly how many days she'd been alone on that planet. How many days she'd fought a losing battle with no back up. She'd been abandoned, left for dead. He knew what that was like, but he could never fully comprehend. He couldn't compare Iraq and Olympus.

Sam would never have to feel that kind of hopelessness and pain again if he could prevent it. Jack couldn't make any promises, though; she'd told him that long ago. But that wasn't all she was talking about. Her abusers were gone. They were all dead by her hand.

She was also talking about her friends, about him. She'd been alone on that planet, but even after returning to Earth, Sam had cut herself off from them. It was a different kind of loneliness, but loneliness all the same. She'd been afraid to tell him, but now her guard was down. If she truly let him in, she wanted assurance he wouldn't leave her. That she wouldn't have to experience even more pain and loss. Sam was scared to let go and live again, but she had to remember there was so much more to life. Jack hoped more than anything that he could be a part of it.

"They're gone now, Sam. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere." Jack searched her eyes, wanting all the uncertainties to melt away. "Believe me."

He felt Sam's hand glide up along the side of his face. She was still holding his gaze as she leaned in. For a moment he thought she was going to kiss him, but she placed the gentle kiss on his cheek instead. With her voice tickling his ear, she whispered softly.

"I do."

TBC in 'A Way Home'


	77. A Way Home

Ch. 76 A Way Home

Sam peered out of their hiding spot into the forest. Morning had fully arrived, dull though it might have been. It had warmed up slightly, but she still acutely felt the cold. Running her hands along her arms, she turned to Jack.

He'd been dozing on and off. If his leg was bothering him, he was keeping mum about it. Neither had brought up the idea of searching for the gate again. Sam knew she couldn't stay with him if she were to ever find their way home. She wouldn't leave him, though, and perhaps Jack knew he couldn't convince her otherwise.

Sam watched him slumber. She was unable to describe the feelings coursing through her. She couldn't quite believe that she'd finally told him, admitted to things she swore she never would. Not only had she confessed her deep-seated insecurities, but also the extent of Mal'tek's torture.

Her heart began to race at the thought of the Jaffa. Then, with a calming breath, she reminded herself that Mal'tek was gone and not coming back. Part of Sam felt he'd gotten off too easily, that he deserved worse than a quick death from a staff weapon. That perhaps he should have died slowly and painfully, as he'd made her so many times. Or maybe over and over again, revived by the sarcophagus and shown no mercy. Sam shook her head. It didn't matter. The only thing that mattered now was Jack.

Telling him hadn't been at all what she'd imagined. The shame and fear of what had happened to her and the implications of revealing it to him… all the worries she'd conjured up in her mind about how he'd react had been over exaggerated. The world hadn't fallen apart. He hadn't pushed her away in disgust or taken back anything he'd told her. Jack had held her and promised to always be there for her. Sam ran her hand lightly through his damp hair. How had she been fortunate enough to be blessed with Jack O'Neill?

She wondered what he had ever seen in her. Certainly more than a geeky scientist and a second in command. More than she saw in herself. And now, she couldn't figure out why he was still interested. She had her issues, but that didn't seem to daunt him. Even coming clean about how damaged she really was didn't deter him. Jack could be quite persistent, and she was so thankful he'd not given up on her.

Now what would happen? They'd crossed that line. They'd _both_ crossed that line. After stubbornly fighting it for the longest time, she'd finally pushed herself over. The words they'd spoken wouldn't be hidden away or conveniently forgotten about. This time, it wouldn't be left in the room, and that would be okay with both of them.

Changes were coming, but none of that mattered if they didn't get back to Earth. Sam turned away from Jack and to the dreary forest. How were they ever going to get home?

o-O-o

"General Hammond, sir?"

The balding general wearily looked up from his work. With two of his finest missing and one of his dear friends deceased, he was not in a pleasant mood.

"Yes, son?"

"We've received a message from the Asgard," Walter announced.

"The Asgard?" It had been months since they'd heard from their allies, but nevertheless, they'd sent a desperate plea for help in finding Jack and Sam. "They got our message?"

"Yes, sir. Thor sends his apologies. He said something about ensuring the Replicators were still in the time dilation field, building a new ship, and-"

"The point?" Hammond cut in.

"Yes. Sorry, sir. He says he believes he's located Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter."

"What?" Hammond stood to his feet, his chair rolling back behind him. "Where? How?"

"He didn't say, only that he was going to pick them…beam them up."

"When?"

"Uh, anytime now, sir."

o-O-o

As Jack and Sam regained their ability to see, they could make out a tiny gray form.

"Welcome to the _Samantha Carter_."

Jack squinted. "Thor?"

"The what?" Sam stuttered as she sat up.

"Indeed, this is the _Samantha Carter_." Thor moved from behind the control panel he stood at, his spindly legs carrying him to the two humans. "It was named in your honor for all you have done for the Asgard race. It is good to see you well, Major Carter."

"Wow. Uh…thank you." Sam looked around at the ship's impressive bridge. She allowed a small smile to cross her face. Turning back to Thor, she moved her hands along her arms, grateful to be out of the cold rain. "How'd you find us?"

"The Asgard monitor all hyperspace activity in the vicinity of Earth. A small ship was detected leaving Earth and we began tracking it," Thor relayed.

"Yeah, and that was two days ago," Jack said. His tone held the slightest hint of annoyance.

"This is the _Samantha Carter's_ maiden voyage."

"Oh." Jack began to understand. "The shake-down cruise. Fun. What happened?"

"There were technical difficulties that required immediate attention. Once I was able to follow the trail again, I discovered a planet and the remains of a Goa'uld mother ship."

"You have Carter to thank for that."

Thor bowed his head in Sam's direction. "I then ran a scan of the planet. After ruling out all Jaffa, only two life signs remained."

"Us," Sam piped up.

"Yes. I also received a message from Stargate Command, informing me of your disappearance." Thor blinked. "I am only sorry I did not make it sooner. You are both injured." The petite alien surveyed them with his large, dark eyes. "The medical system is not yet online."

"It's fine," Jack shrugged. "Can you give us a ride home?"

"I can. I have already sent word to General Hammond. I do apologize for not having a more comfortable place for you to rest while we travel."

"This is way better than where we were," Jack waved off Thor's concern.

"Very well. I will make our trip as brief as possible." Thor moved back to the control console and grasped one of the stones. "Entering hyperspace."

TBC in 'Endings and Beginnings'


	78. Endings and Beginnings

Ch. 77 Endings and Beginnings

Sam took step after ginger step down to Jack's room. Her bandaged feet were now in comfy slippers, though they still smarted a bit. Thor had whisked them back to Earth and deposited them in the SGC's infirmary, much to the surprise of one Janet Fraiser. A nurse had tended to Sam while Janet had checked Jack out. He played the grumpy patient, as usual, but Sam could tell he was glad to have the petite doctor caring for him.

She found Jack resting comfortably, a Rubik's cube in his hand.

"Sir?"

He looked up and grinned at the sight of Sam in the doorway. "Hey!"

"How is it?" Sam asked, coming to sit in the bedside chair.

"Difficult. I've never been able to solve one of these." Jack glared at the multicolored cube.

"No, I mean your knee."

"Oh, that. A meniscus tear, from the looks of it. Fraiser's going to keep an eye on it tonight, but she thinks it'll require a bit of surgery. Nothing too major, though."

Sam grimaced. "How long will that keep you out of the field?"

"It won't."

"What?"

"I'm retiring, Sam."

"What?" It was the only response she could come up with.

"I think my time in the field is about over." Jack looked at his knee. "Might be time to call it quits, before I have to get the whole thing replaced," he commented. "I don't want to ride a desk, either. I think there are more important things in my life now besides work." Jack's dark eyes met hers, and the intensity of his gaze made Sam look away and her cheeks flush.

"Yes, sir."

"And you're gonna have to stop calling me sir," he chided gently.

"Sorry. It's habit." Sam was flustered; her hands restlessly clasped and unclasped.

Jack nodded. "Things are…"

"Different now."

"Yeah."

Now that they were here, they didn't even know where to begin. How to begin.

"Thank you, Sam. For everything." That was one way to start. Jack would be dead and not laid up in the infirmary had it not been for Sam. In fact, he would have been dead long ago.

Sam shook her head. "I should be the one thanking you. You've helped me get back on my feet. You never gave up on me, even when I was…difficult. I _am_ difficult." Sam dipped her head with a small apologetic laugh.

"You're worth it."

Sam's head snapped back up.

Jack didn't elaborate, but reached out and tapped her hand lightly with his finger. "What are you going to do?"

"Oh. I don't know." She was still caught up in his previous statement.

"When's the funeral?"

"The SGC will be having a memorial tomorrow."

"Well, if I do have surgery, Doc says she'll do an arthroscopy, so I may be able to hobble down. Roll down. However I can get there." Jacob had been a good friend, and Jack wasn't going to let a little surgery stop him from paying his respects.

"That would mean a lot, sir. Jack," she corrected herself. "I haven't made the arrangements for the rest yet, but Mark's here. He's going to help me."

"I bet he has questions."

"Yeah. I've already talked with him. I wish I could tell him more," Sam smiled sadly. "What about you?"

"I'm out of the game now, Sam. But you're not." He gave her a pointed look. "I didn't have you as my second all those years for nothing."

Sam sighed at what Jack was implying. "I thought we discussed this already."

"They're gone, and you proved while we were out there that you can still handle it. _You_ were the one who freed us from our cell. _You're_ the one who destroyed the mother ship. _You're_ the one who saved my sorry rear. Again, I might add." Jack knew it had been hard for Sam to face her fears, but she'd overcome them with flying colors, even if she had been thrown into the situation against her will.

Sam set her jaw. "I don't know."

"I don't mean to pressure you, and I'm sorry if I'm making you uncomfortable. I just don't want you to sell yourself short. I don't want anything that's happened to keep you from realizing your potential."

Jack watched as Sam contemplated his words. He knew she'd been beaten down and broken, but he didn't want her life to come to a stop because of it. If it did, the Goa'uld would win, and that was unacceptable. Sam had made the step to start working in the lab, and that was a step in the right direction. The lab would only keep her engaged for so long, though.

Soon she would want more.

o-O-o

Sam and her brother stood back, watching as friends and family paid their respects to their father. Fallen leaves crunched under their feet as they passed the casket. Some whispered soft words in commemoration or said a prayer; some had no words. Others laid down flowers or small trinkets. Some only took one last look.

When the mourners had moved past, Sam and Mark took their turn.

"I don't really know what to say," Mark shook his head.

Sam reached out and grabbed his hand. "He would be happy, you know. That we're here. Together."

"Yeah, I guess he would." He stared at the casket for a long moment. "Thank you for what you did to help dad and I reconcile."

Sam nodded. "I know we had our differences in the past, but he always loved us. He was proud of us both, you know."

"I know," Mark agreed. "After mom died, we wasted a lot of years. I'm glad I got to make up some of that, at least in part." He turned to Sam, squeezing her hand. "We've got to do a better job of keeping in touch. You and I are all that's left now."

"We are," Sam smiled sadly.

"Just no more super secret undercover missions, okay?" Mark took in the marks on his sister's face. The bruising had gone down significantly, but her pale skin was still marred. He'd been curious, but hadn't prodded Sam for answers. "I'm not even going to ask what happened. I know you do something else besides deep space radar telemetry, but I get it. It's hush hush."

"I'm sorry, Mark. I wish I could tell you more."

"Just promise me you'll watch out for yourself."

"I will."

Mark pulled Sam into a hug. "I love you, Sam."

"Love you, too."

Her gaze followed Mark as he headed across the cemetery, where the rest of his family waited by their rental car. Sam lifted her hand in a small wave; she would see them later. As she made her way to her own car, Sam felt someone catch her by the arm. After nearly jumping out of her skin, she turned to find Paul Davis.

"Major Davis!"

"Actually, it's Lieutenant Colonel now. Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."

"Congratulations. And it's okay. Thanks for coming."

"I'm sorry I couldn't make it to the memorial at the base. Your father was a great man. We had some pretty, ah, harrowing experiences together," Davis chuckled.

"You and me both," Sam replied, recalling their missions together. "He had the time of his life, though."

"Never a dull day." Davis leaned in, lowering his voice. "I heard what happened…and what we have to thank you for."

Sam's expression hardened. She didn't want to talk about it. "I did what I had to, sir."

"And you did well. Though, I'm sure our jobs aren't even close to obsolete. There's still a lot to do out there."

"True," Sam agreed.

Davis glanced across to the car where Jack, Daniel, and Teal'c were waiting. "Well, I'll see you around, Major."

"Bye."

Sam headed for the car once again. When she got there, she found Jack comfortably situated in the back seat, resting his knee. He'd been adamant about coming and had been zipping around on crutches all morning. He looked a little tired now, or maybe just solemn. Teal'c was leaning against the trunk, and Daniel was next to him.

"Major Davis?" the archaeologist questioned.

"Yeah. Lieutenant Colonel now."

"Good for him," Jack piped up from his spot. "I was wondering when-"

"So, you ready?" Daniel butted in.

"I think so," Sam replied after a brief pause.

"Are you all right, Major Carter?"

Sam looked back to Jacob's gravesite. He was gone, and she would miss him. But strangely enough, she felt at peace.

"Yeah, Teal'c. I am."

She'd gotten a second chance with her father, and he'd implored her not to let hers pass her by. Sam shifted back around to face the car and Jack. He sent her a sideways smile, which she returned.

She wouldn't let her father down.

o-O-o-O-o

"We are gathered here today to honor our colleague and friend, Jack O'Neill. With over 25 years of service to our country, and 8 years of service here at the SGC, we all owe Colonel O'Neill a great deal of gratitude."

The gateroom was filled to the brim. Both military and civilian employees of the SGC had come out that morning for the ceremony. Hammond stood at a podium, which had been placed on the gate ramp.

"However, before he comes up, we have a small bit of business to take care of. From the Vice Chief of Staff of the Air Force; in recognition of First Lieutenant Jennifer Hailey's outstanding work, I hereby authorize her immediate promotion to the rank of Captain. Lieutenant, would you please come up?"

Sam saw surprise register on Jennifer's face, then pleasure. With pride, her eyes followed the young woman up the ramp as she went to receive her promotion. Jennifer had been her protégé. From almost being thrown out of the Air Force, she'd gone on to join the program and had even taken her place on SG-1. Sam couldn't have picked a better replacement.

She clapped along with the others as Jennifer took her place again, two silver bars shining from each shoulder. She had to smile when Jennifer sent her an excited grin. They both turned their attention back to the ramp as Jack trekked up it to take Hammond's place.

"Thank you, General. I am here today to officially end my service to the Air Force and the SGC, but you won't be getting rid of me that easily," Jack smiled. "You'll still see me around the base."

"Oh joy," Daniel, who stood next to Sam, jokingly whispered.

"I'm not really one for speeches, so I'll make this brief. My time here has been interesting, to say the least. I've seen some amazing things and met some amazing people." His merry eyes settled on his friends, then looked out into the crowd. "I wouldn't be here today without the courage and support of each of you. Thank you."

The room broke into applause, and once it died down, Jack continued. "There is one person I am very indebted to. Someone I owe my life to countless times over. Major Samantha Carter, would you come up please?"

It was Sam's turn to be surprised. This was very atypical, but Teal'c and Daniel coaxed her to move forward. Sam's heels clicked on the ramp as she went to stand by Jack. She kept her eyes on him, refusing to allow herself to look at the dozens of people watching her. She nervously waited for Jack to speak.

His smile got impossibly wider. "It is with great pride that my last order of business as a military officer is the announcement of the promotion of Major Samantha Carter to Lieutenant Colonel."

"What?" Sam gasped.

"You more than deserve it," Jack assured her, nothing but pride shining in his eyes. He shifted as Hammond and Walter came to join them on the ramp.

"The President of the United States has placed special trust and confidence in the patriotism, integrity, and abilities of Major Samantha Carter. Major Samantha Carter is promoted to the grade of Lieutenant Colonel, United States Air Force."

As Walter spoke, Hammond and Jack removed Sam's golden Major's oak leaves and pinned on the silver ones of Lieutenant Colonel.

"Now raise your right hand and repeat after me," Hammond requested.

Sam did as asked and repeated, word for word, the oath her commander spoke.

"I, Samantha Carter, having been appointed a Lieutenant Colonel in the United States Air Force…"

She pledged to defend her country against all enemies; that she took the obligation freely. Unbelievably, after all that had taken place, after almost quitting the job she loved, Sam was standing there, the oath more meaningful than ever before.

"And that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office upon which I am about to enter, so help me God."

Then her general and her colonel saluted her, which Sam did in return.

Hammond faced the crowd. "I present to you Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter."

The room erupted into cheers and applause, and it took a few minutes for the clamor to die down. Sam was definitely sure she didn't like all the attention, but it was also an honor to be so esteemed by her colleagues.

"Thank you all for attending. I've been informed that we're all invited to a retirement/promotion party tonight," Hammond announced. "O'Malley's. 7 PM." The cheering and clapping started up again, even a few excited whistles were thrown in. Jack and Sam headed down to the gateroom floor together.

"Congratulations O'Neill, and congratulations, Colonel Carter." Teal'c bowed in respect to his friends.

"Colonel Carter. I like the sound of that," Daniel said. "Congrats you two."

"Thank you."

"Thanks, though I gotta wonder who planned this shindig at O'Malley's."

"That's top secret, Jack."

Jack spun to find Hammond behind him. "Sir! George!"

"How does it feel to be a retired man?"

"Not quite sure it's hit me yet, to be honest," Jack told him.

"Well, I may be heading that way myself in a few years. Colonel Carter, may I have a moment?" Hammond held his hand out, motioning to an empty area of the room.

"Yes, sir?" Sam asked when they were alone.

"Sam," he began, indicating this wasn't a formal conversation. "I wanted to let you know how proud I am of you. How proud your father would be."

Dipping her head at his praise, Sam thanked him. He was the closest thing she had to a father now.

"And I've been considering some things, long and hard. I hope you have, too." Hammond slipped something into her hand, then covered hers with his. "Whenever you're ready." After a gentle squeeze and smile, the mild mannered general took his leave.

Sam stared down at her palm and the item he'd placed there. She let her finger delicately trace the writing on the round object.

SG-1.

TBC in 'Happiness'


	79. Happiness

Ch. 78 Happiness

"Mmmm, you smell that, Teal'c? I love Turkey Day." Jack leaned back in the recliner and inhaled deeply. "Ah…"

"I believe Thanksgiving is the correct term, O'Neill."

"Yeah, that too."

Teal'c raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.

Jack, Teal'c, and Daniel had gathered at Sam's to celebrate Thanksgiving. There had been a few Thanksgivings when they hadn't bothered to celebrate, or were even on Earth, but it felt right this year. There was much to be thankful for.

Jack craned his head toward the kitchen. The food was ready, except for the turkey, which Daniel was meticulously carving.

"Getting hungry, guys!"

"Shut up, Jack!" Daniel yelled back. "Do you think he's even more of a pain now he's retired?" he pondered, placing another slice of turkey on the plate.

Next to him, Sam laughed under her breath. "Daniel-"

The ringing phone cut her off. Leaving Daniel's side, she checked the caller ID.

"Sorry. It's my brother. I better take it." Sam grabbed the phone and pressed 'talk' as she stepped into the study for some privacy.

"Hello?"

"Sam, hey! Happy Thanksgiving!"

"Hey, Mark. Same to you."

"So, how're you doing?"

"I'm good. Thanks." Sam leaned against the desk.

"Glad to hear that. Big plans today?"

"I've got some friends over."

"Friends?"

There was silence and Sam withheld a sigh. "Yes. Mark, I have a feeling there's another reason you called me."

"Well…" He sounded guilty as charged.

"What is it?"

"There's this guy, a friend of mine."

Sam rolled her eyes, thankful Mark couldn't see her, but decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. "And?"

"And he's really nice. He works in Denver, but he's actually in the Springs for the holiday weekend. I think that maybe it would be nice if you two met up. His name is Pe-"

"I'm not interested, Mark," Sam stopped her brother. "But thank you for thinking of me."

After a pause, "Sam, is there something you're not telling me?"

Sam bit her lip. Things had been going well enough. Though she hadn't yet accepted Hammond's offer to return to SG-1, it was still on the table. Each day as she worked in her lab she considered it, but always found a way to talk herself out of it. As for her personal life, Mark meant well, but it wasn't any of his business. And he would certainly have a hard time swallowing the fact she and her former commanding officer were now, for all intents and purposes, a couple.

"Mark, I appreciate you looking out for me, but I'm okay. I'm happy."

"There _is_ something you're not telling me," Mark's curious voice filtered through the phone.

"Hey, I'll call you later. Happy Thanksgiving, Mark." Sam hung up before he could make any more inquiries and set the phone on the desk with a sigh. She was sure the conversation wasn't even close to being over, but for now she was going to enjoy the day with friends.

"What's going on?" Jack was peering into the room, brown eyes warm but inquisitive.

"Oh, it was my brother. Poking his nose where it doesn't belong." Sam eyed Jack. "Kinda like you. What are _you_ doing?"

"Just making sure everything is fine. What's up with Mark?" he asked, casually ambling into the room.

Sam sighed; she might as well tell him. "He was trying to set me up with a friend of his."

"Oh."

"I told him I wasn't interested," she was quick to assure.

"Oh."

Sam crossed her arms. "Would you stop saying that?"

"Okay."

"Jack!"

Jack had to suppress his grin at her reaction. "So you're not interested?"

"No." Sam narrowed her eyes at him, only a thin slit of blue peeking out between her lashes. "You know that."

"Did you tell him you were taken?" He moved closer, into her personal space.

Sam subconsciously stepped back, the desk bumping against her. "Not exactly."

"Then what _exactly_ did you tell him?"

"That I was happy."

Jack nodded in all seriousness, thrilled with her reply. "That's great, Sam." Then he couldn't help it; he sent her a sly grin. "But you are taken, right?"

Sam laughed in response, pushing lightly at his chest with her hand. Jack caught her arm, pulling her towards him.

"You're beautiful, you know that?"

The grin on Sam's face was washed away in an instant when she realized what he was saying, how close they were in proximity, and just how serious Jack was being.

His intense eyes bore into hers, his face only inches away. "You have no idea how badly I want to kiss you right now."

"Well," Sam breathed hesitantly, her tongue darting out and unconsciously licking her lips. "What's stopping you?"

"Are you okay with this?" He didn't want to overstep his bounds.

"I think there's one way to find out."

With Sam's consent, Jack allowed himself to close the short distance between them and let his lips brush against hers. He could feel the wariness on Sam's part, and he understood that caution. She was trusting herself to him, at least trying to. Sam had spent a long time putting up wall after wall, defense after defense, all to protect herself. It had taken him months to break down those walls and get through those defenses. Most of those barriers were gone, but they were about to broach another one.

Being physically intimate was new territory for them. Jack had last been involved with someone years ago, with Laira. He knew Sam had had a rocky road when it came to relationships, and her recent experience with Mal'tek had all but crushed her. Even if Sam did want this, there was more than likely still a part of her that was screaming to stop. To not let this happen. To not allow herself to be vulnerable.

Then there was a part of her that still needed convincing that Jack wasn't _him_.

"You okay?" Jack asked. Something as simple as his proximity could cause a flashback. He wasn't just holding Sam, the woman, in his arms. He held her trust, her heart, and so much more.

"Yeah," she nodded, her breath tickling his face. "You?" As if she weren't sure _he_ wanted this.

"I'm great." His lips hovered over hers.

Sam laughed softly, shaking her head as if to rebuke herself. "I'm sorry," she whispered, wrapping her hand around Jack's neck, leaning her forehead against his. "I'm being ridiculous."

"You're not, Sam. Not at all." She'd been hurt, and that pain was still very real. Her fears weren't irrational, though Sam probably thought they were. It wasn't really something she could help, and he knew that bothered her.

Jack's ears perked up as he heard footsteps. It had to be…

"Daniel…"

"It is I, O'Neill."

"Leave, Teal'c. Now."

"Indeed."

There was another slight laugh from Sam, music to his ears. And then, her soft, moist lips pressed to his.

Many times Jack had imagined their first kiss. Their first _real_ kiss. Most of his imaginings had involved them locked in a passionate embrace, their lips fervently fighting for dominance. Caution would be thrown into the wind and their bodies would be tangled together in reckless, wild abandon.

But never had he thought it would be so tentative and sweet. So innocent.

He savored the seconds her lips covered his. And when they pulled away, Jack immediately missed them. He couldn't deny he wanted more. Her fingers running through the hair on the nape of his neck set his senses on fire.

One day she would completely surrender to him, mind, body, and soul, but that day wasn't today, or even in the near future. And that was okay with him. Love could do strange things to a man, he considered, like him willingly putting his desires on hold. His only concern was for Sam and what she needed. He wasn't going to push and demand, make her uncomfortable or scared. Their relationship would be on her time, unlike when she'd been on Olympus and everything had been out of her control. He'd been waiting for years; he could handle it. But now he knew, without a doubt, that she was his and he was hers. That made all the difference in the world.

Her lips were so close he could have easily stolen another kiss, but Jack pulled away. Sam looked up at him, her expression indecipherable.

Jack studied her. "So…what did you find out?"

Sam's blank face morphed into puzzlement.

"You said there was one way to find out if-"

Sam placed her finger on his lips, silencing him. She searched his face, studying him as he had her. "I found out that…that you understand. Thank you."

Jack nodded solemnly, his brown eyes trained on Sam. On her terms and in her time; he could work with that.

The silence between them was interrupted by the sounds of Daniel and Teal'c finishing up the dinner preparations.

"Guess we should get back out there," Jack murmured.

"Yeah."

Neither one wanted to move, but knew it was best to go back out with the others. After a long moment, Jack stepped back and let Sam move past him. As she did, he had to resist the urge to pull her back to him. He let her reach the door, then reluctantly, he followed.

Daniel was the first to spot them enter the room. "Oh, hey guys. I didn't expect to see you again…so soon."

Sam's face went red and Jack crossed his arms.

"Teal'c, _what_ did you tell him?"

Teal'c let a small smile appear on his face. "Only the truth, O'Neill."

Jack shrugged, deciding to let it go. Surely the guys weren't totally clueless, and a little good-natured ribbing was to be expected.

"We went ahead and got your plates ready, so if you're hungry…" Daniel gestured to the dining table and filled dishes.

The four found their places; Sam was across from Daniel and Jack across from Teal'c. After eating a few bites, Daniel placed his fork down and looked to the couple across from him.

"I think it's great. I do."

"What is?" Jack asked, scooping up some mashed potatoes, even though he clearly knew Daniel wasn't referring to the food.

"Oh, you know. You two. Together."

Sam and Jack exchanged a furtive glance, then looked back to Daniel. His expression indicated he meant what he'd said; he was genuinely pleased for them.

"Your feelings for each other are not a secret and have not been for some time," Teal'c put in. His usually stoic face had softened. "You deserve to be happy."

Sam turned to Jack and smiled, making no effort to hide her joy. Daniel and Teal'c were the most supportive, caring friends she could have ever asked for. She loved Jack more than she could express, and she knew he boundlessly returned that affection. Her father had wanted her to be happy, and sitting there with the three men, men that meant more to her than anyone could ever attempt to comprehend, she was.

She would be.

TBC in 'Epilogue-Beyond the Night'


	80. Beyond the Night

A/N: Before I begin the last chapter, I just want to say thank you. Anyone who has read, whether or not you've reviewed, I appreciate it very much. For those who have left reviews or sent me messages, thank you! For you anonymous reviewers, I so wish I could have responded to you! Thank you _all_ for your support; you made all the time and effort I put into this worth it.

This story has been my 'big project' for the past few years. Whenever I had free time and felt inspired, this was what I went to. To give you an idea of how long it's been in the works, I began this back when SG-1 was still showing new episodes and I was in college. Now I'm in my 4th year of teaching my sweet Pre-Kers! It's been such a journey for me, and now that it's over, it feels a little strange and sad. Please enjoy the last chapter of _Beyond the Night_, and when you're done, visit my profile for a little something extra.

'Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.'

- Psalm 30:5

~Epilogue~

Beyond the Night

Hammond flipped the file closed and set it on the briefing room table. He took a moment to send an appreciative smile to the foursome seated around him. "Good work, SG-1. This trade agreement would have never taken place without the tireless work of all of you."

SG-1 had been offworld for days, brokering a deal with the peoples of P4X-702. Some of the naturally growing flora on the planet was utilized by the locals for medicinal purposes and looked to have great potential for use on Earth. However, the inhabitants were very reluctant to let any of the plant life go. After many hours of bargaining, a deal had finally been made.

"Take the weekend, you deserve the time." Hammond turned to the two non-military members of the team. "Dr. Jackson, Teal'c, you're dismissed. Colonels, I need to speak to you for a minute."

After Jack had retired, Colonel Reynolds had taken over SG-1. Not long after that, Sam had accepted Hammond's proposal, and she had rejoined the team on a trial basis. Jennifer had gladly stepped aside. Nothing had been set in stone, and Sam would be closely monitored by her teammates, doctors, and by Hammond's watchful eye.

Sam had done well on day missions, slipping easily back into the fieldwork. If she had any reservations about being offworld, she didn't voice them. They all knew she wanted to be there, that she would do what it took to succeed. However, on their first overnight stay, Sam's screams had woken them all.

The men had rushed to her tent, finding her in the throes of a nightmare. Daniel had managed to bring her around, but Sam had been mortified, as well as frightened she would lose her place on the team. But they'd all known nightmares and flashbacks were a possibility, and it was just something they'd have to continue to work through.

Reynolds had been commanding the team for about six months, and during that time, SG-1's offworld missions had run the gamut, as usual. Peaceful exploring to barely making it through the gate with their lives, Sam had kept up with the men and handled herself admirably.

But now General Hammond wanted to see her and her commanding officer. It didn't sit well with Sam that he only needed to see the two of them. She sent a nervous smile to Daniel and Teal'c as they headed to the door. Daniel grinned back and Teal'c tipped his head as he departed, both seemingly unconcerned. Sam turned her attention back to Hammond, feeling much like a child sent to the principal's office. Though she hadn't done anything wrong, had she?

"Colonel Carter," Hammond began. "Colonel Reynolds has expressed some concerns to me."

Sam's eyes widened involuntarily. She quickly schooled her features, glancing at her CO. "He has, sir?"

"Yes. Colonel?" Hammond motioned for Reynolds to take over.

Sam swallowed as Reynolds scooted forward in his chair. She tensely sat up straighter in her own.

"I've been leading SG-1 for a good while now, and I think having the both of us on the team is overkill."

Sam forced herself to meet Reynolds' gaze, the uneasy feeling in her stomach intensifying. "Yes, sir."

"I've spoken with General Hammond about this, and I'd like to step down as SG-1's commander and return to my post on SG-3."

"What?" Sam squeaked, floored by the implication of the man's statement.

"I'm not needed. You are more than qualified to lead the team and I think you're ready for it now."

Hammond nodded. "Everyone involved, from both a military and medical standpoint, agrees. Along with Colonel Reynolds, I've spoken with Dr. Jackson and Teal'c at great length. I've met with Dr. MacKenzie about your progress. And from what I've seen and heard," he smiled gently, "Sam, you're ready to take on SG-1 as team leader."

Sam's mind whirled. She hadn't been expecting this at all. She was content where she was, but she couldn't deny that she was interested. Make that very interested, not to mention a little scared. "Team leader?"

"That is if you accept."

Sam quickly rationalized the situation. Team leader was really not much different from her position now. Yes, there would be more responsibility and paperwork, but it was something she'd been trained to do under Jack's leadership and now Reynolds'. This offer was not one casually thrown around and would not have been presented to her if others had not seen her as fully capable and prepared to take on the job. It all came down to if _she_ felt she was ready.

Sam turned to Hammond, self-assured. "I accept. Thank you, sirs."

Both Hammond and Reynolds grinned.

"I was hoping you'd say that," Hammond replied, not only looking quite pleased, but proud.

"Congratulations." Reynolds stuck out his hand and Sam confidently took it. "It's been a pleasure working with you."

"And with you," Sam agreed as she shook his extended hand.

Reynolds nodded with a smile. "They're all yours now."

o-O-o

Sam let the warm water pour over her hair, washing away the curls that had formed while it had been braided offworld. She had to admit, she enjoyed going through the gate again. It was different without Jack and after everything that had happened over the past couple of years. It was not the future she'd imagined for herself, but here she was. As she ran the sudsy sponge along her skin, Sam sighed. Life was pretty good, and now she was leader of SG-1.

She couldn't wait to tell Jack, but the timing would have to be right. She hoped she would see him that night. As for Daniel and Teal'c, she was certain they already knew why she'd been held back after the debriefing. Sam was also sure no one had pushed harder for her than her teammates. Hammond had informed her SG-1 would be a three-man team, at least for the time being, and she was more than okay with that.

Sam stepped out of the shower and toweled off, then she dressed herself. She ran a brush through her damp hair, then clipped it up. After strapping on her watch, Sam picked up the smallest item in her locker.

The ring was white gold, adorned with a solitary, round diamond. It was beautiful in its simplicity. It was perfect for the purpose it served; a symbol of her bond with Jack.

There had been no ring at first. There hadn't even been a proposal, just a mutual understanding that they were together, that it was for keeps. Then, on a recent trip to the cabin, Jack had surprised her…

"_Hey, I gotcha something."_

"_What?" had come her curious reply. They were out on the deck, and Jack was readying his fishing supplies for an afternoon of relaxation._

"_Hold on." Jack jogged back into the house, and when he returned, he had a fishing pole in his hand. It was new by the looks of it. "I meant to give you this back at Christmas…" He trailed off with a shrug. _

"_You're kidding. A fishing pole, Jack?"_

"_What, you don't like it?" He thrust it forward into Sam's hands. "Have you even given it a chance?" _

"_I do like it," she replied, giving her present a once over, "But I thought you didn't have any fish in-" Her voice caught in her throat when she noticed something dangling from the hook. Inconspicuously tied there was a diamond ring, shimmering as the sunlight caught it._

_Sam's stunned eyes tore away from the object only to stare agape at Jack._

_He almost looked afraid of what she might say. "I saw it and…I'm old fashioned, I guess."_

_Sam nodded, still speechless, then turned her attention to untying the ring. She didn't know why her hands were shaking as she worked, but the ring, once free, slipped from her grasp and rolled along the deck._

_Jack's reflexes were still up to par, and he snatched the jewelry up before it could twirl into the pond. He held it for a second, still unsure. Sam put her hand out, easing his worries and letting him know it was okay to proceed. _

_He slid the ring on, then let his hand draw back until he held only the tip of her finger. He gently slanted it from side to side, observing the sparkly diamond he'd placed there. Then he met her eyes. "This doesn't change anything. I just wanted you to have something."_

_Sam knew what he was saying. He wasn't trying to push her; a ring didn't mean a wedding had to happen in short order. He loved her, though, and an engagement ring was just another way to declare that. It didn't scare her, it only reinforced the idea of them. An idea Sam rather liked. _

_She wrapped her arms around his neck and planted a kiss on him that left both of them breathless. _

"_I love it," she breathed. "I love _you_." _

Nothing had changed since he'd given her the ring, though each time she looked at it, she couldn't help but consider her life with Jack. He was leaving it up to her, and she was taking it nice and slow. Perhaps too much so, but if it aggravated Jack, he never let on.

Sam turned on her phone and slipped it into her back pocket. Then she grabbed her bag and keys and shut the metal door. She hadn't quite made it out of the room when her phone vibrated. She pulled it from her pocket and flipped it open. She had one unread text.

'Guys, meet me at O'Malley's.'

"Jack, Jack, Jack," she muttered to herself with a shake of her head. He was doing well enough being retired. The SGC would sometimes have him come in, or he'd occupy himself at home, but he was still adjusting. Sometimes when he got extremely bored, he'd text. Not just her, but all of them. When they got back from a mission, they'd have messages waiting, like today's request to meet him for dinner.

Sam walked the short distance to the men's locker room and waited. She had a feeling she wasn't the only one summoned to meet Jack at the restaurant. The wait wasn't long, and soon the door swung open, with Teal'c exiting first, followed by Daniel.

"Colonel Carter," Teal'c addressed her, spying the phone in her hand. "Did O'Neill send you an electronic message as well?"

Sam held up her cell. "Yep."

Daniel stuffed his own phone into his jeans. "I guess we all have dinner plans then...boss." He sent Sam a broad grin as he headed down the hall.

Sam just laughed as she followed her team to the surface.

o-O-o

Kelly Walsh had noticed when they'd come into O'Malley's. It had been a few months since she'd seen them, but they were an unforgettable group. She'd seen the older man, Jack, nursing a beer for a while already. No doubt the others were there to meet up with him.

After they'd greeted each other and settled in, Kelly had gone to wait on them. She'd taken the men's orders, but when she got to the woman, Sam, she observed something she was sure hadn't been there before.

"Oh, wow."

Sam's blue eyes glanced up at her, mystified as to what had caught her attention.

"Your ring, it's gorgeous!"

"Oh." Sam followed her gaze to the solitaire diamond ring, lifting her hand so Kelly could get a better look. "Thank you," she beamed as the waitress admired her jewelry.

"Engagement?" Kelly asked eagerly. She might have been snooping around in business that wasn't hers, but she was _so_ curious.

Sam nodded with an endearing smile.

"Oh, congratulations! That's so exciting!" She scanned the three men, certain it was one of them. It had to be…

"Thanks," Jack spoke up, draping his arm over the back of Sam's chair.

Kelly's grin grew even wider. She'd known it! She'd sensed the 'thing' between them long ago, and they seemed to make a wonderful pair.

"So when's the big day?"

"We're not sure yet," Jack told her.

"Well, we do receptions if you're looking for a place."

"It'll be a small gathering," she was informed by Sam.

"A _very_ small gathering," Jack quickly added.

Kelly replied cheerfully, maybe a little too cheerfully. "We do those, too!" She took a breath to tone down her exuberance. "If you're interested, that is. If there's anything we can do, please let me know."

"We will, Kelly."

Pleased with Jack's response, and bubbling with excitement for the couple she somehow felt she knew personally, Kelly turned back to Sam.

"Your order, ma'am?"

o-O-o

"You know what I could go for right now?"

"What, Daniel?" Jack downed the last of his second beer, then set the bottle on the table.

"I agree, Daniel Jackson."

Jack's head zipped to Teal'c.

"I could go for that, too," Sam chimed in.

"Go for what?" Jack was becoming perplexed at his friends' very vague method of communicating.

"Oh, you know, Jack."

Jack contemplatively swirled his empty bottle in the wet spot it had left on the table. The motion came to a stop as the realization dawned on him.

"Oh. I do know. Kelly!"

Their lively waitress was at their table in seconds. Almost as though she were waiting on them.

"One Death by Chocolate. Four spoons. Four cherries. Please and thank you."

"Coming right up!"

Jack looked on as Kelly bustled to the kitchen to deliver their request.

"We've gotta give her a great tip."

o-O-o

Jack and his former team were lounging around his living room. He still saw Sam frequently enough, but he didn't get to visit with Daniel and Teal'c as much now he wasn't on base daily. There hadn't been a get together in a while, and Jack had been surprised when he hadn't even had to nag to get them to come over after dinner at O'Malley's.

That evening, the room had been filled with laughter and good-natured jokes between the friends. Sam, especially, had been in a good mood. Her smile and her laughter weren't so rare an occasion anymore, and it pleased them all to see her in high spirits. She'd come so far.

Jack was proud of her and what she had accomplished, both on a personal and professional level. That wasn't to say she didn't still have some rough days, because she did. Even now, Sam didn't like to talk about that time in her life, and Jack would wonder what exactly it was that was bothering her. Tonight, however, nothing seemed to be troubling Sam, and they were about to play some games on his old system.

"Here, Sam." Daniel handed her a controller. "You wanna be the princess?"

Sam took the controller and let it hang loosely in her hand. "Me, the princess?" She raised her eyebrow in a perfect imitation of Teal'c.

"Yeah, you know how it is," Daniel told her. "Mario and the princess. They're like a-"

"Couple," Teal'c finished for him.

Sam snorted. "That may be, but I think I'll pick Yoshi."

"I'm wounded you don't wanna be my better half," Jack teased as he selected Mario as his character.

"Sorry."

"You're not sorry at all, are you?"

"Nope!" Sam replied with a merry laugh.

"Have you done some kind of scientific research that concludes Yoshi is the best choice or something?" Jack asked when Sam chose the little green dinosaur.

"No," she denied with a shake of her head.

"Then why'd ya pick him?"

"I just think he's cute."

o-O-o

Jack dug through the bottom of the closet, trying to find some sort of game for them to play. After Teal'c had crushed them all at video games, he was trying to find something a little more old school.

"Ah ha!" he let out a satisfied shout. He wiped the layer of dust from the box, and picking it up, took it into the kitchen. His friends were seated around his table, waiting.

"How about Trivial Pursuit?"

"Not fair," Daniel began. "We can't play that."

Jack placed the game on the table. "And why not?"

"Sam will win," he replied, as though the answer were obvious.

Jack shot a look to Sam, who seemed a bit bewildered by Daniel's assumption. "Not necessarily."

"Sam _will_ win."

Sam lifted her hands helplessly. "Some of the questions probably wouldn't be very fair to Teal'c," she told them. "What about 'Would You Rather'?"

"Would I rather what?" Jack questioned, his hands resting on the top corners of the Trivial Pursuit box.

"It's a game Cassie told me about. You're presented with two scenarios, and you _have_ to pick one, even if they're both awful."

When Jack received no objections from Daniel or Teal'c, he gave her the go ahead. "Okay, you start then."

"All right. Um…would you rather give up _The Simpsons_ or Guinness?"

Jack's brow creased as he considered Sam's question. "_The Simpsons_, I guess. I find Guinness a refreshing substitute for food."

Sam rolled her eyes at his answer, but accepted it. "Okay, now you ask someone a question."

"Okay, this is for Daniel. Would you rather make a discovery in Egypt that everyone would hear about, or an even more incredible find offworld the public would never know of?"

Daniel squinted his eyes behind his lenses. "Huh. Uh…I think an offworld discovery. I've practically disappeared from the face of this planet's archaeological scene. And strangely, I think I'm okay with that." He looked to Sam. "Would you rather give up your lab or…" Daniel glanced around the table. "Or Jack?"

"Hey!" Jack protested. "Hey!" he cried again when he realized Sam was actually considering the choices.

"Well, it's not a hard decision." Sam placed her chin on her palm, a longing look gracing her features. "I _do_ love my lab. But, it's really no contest. I'd give up the lab for Jack."

Jack beamed. "I knew it." He _had_ known it. She'd already proven she'd do anything for him. But his smile was more about how his name had rolled off her tongue so easily. Sam would never know how he enjoyed hearing her speak his first name. There had been too many years of 'Sir' and 'Colonel'.

"Teal'c's turn," Sam's voice cut in.

"I'll ask," Jack volunteered. "Would you rather be bitten by a snake or stung by a jellyfish?"

"I would not wish for either."

"But Teal'c, you have to choose one."

Teal'c sighed heavily, as though he thought the Tau'ri game was ridiculous. "Very well. What type of snake?"

"Uh, the poisonous kind."

"Are not some more venomous than others?"

"Well, yeah, but-"

"What type of jellyfish?"

"Um-"

"I do not have enough information to make an educated decision."

Jack dropped his head to the table in exasperation.

"D'oh!"

o-O-o

As the credits to the late night rerun of _The Simpsons_ finished, Sam clicked the television off and set the remote on the floor next to the couch. She and Jack were the last ones awake. Teal'c had retired for the evening before the show had even started, and Daniel had fallen asleep during the course of the episode. Sam had been snuggly spooned up next to Jack, but now she rolled over into his welcoming embrace.

She leaned her head into his chest as his arm wrapped around her, pulling her tightly to him.

"Sleepy?" he wondered.

"No."

Sam had a lot on her mind. She had yet to tell Jack about her new assignment. She'd warned Daniel and Teal'c not to mention it. She'd wanted to wait until things had calmed down and they were alone. Though Daniel was in the room, he was out cold. This was as good a time as any.

"Hammond reassigned me today."

"What?" The shock was evident in his voice. Their cozy position was disturbed as Jack pulled back. "But why? I thought things were going great."

Sam propped herself up with her elbow and she saw the worry in his eyes as he gazed down at her. "Well, remember when you said I hadn't been your second all those years for nothing?" She dropped the hint, hoping he'd get it.

"Yes…" Then, after a few moments of thought, "Are you serious?"

Sam tipped her head with a smile, almost laughing as his concern quickly transformed into delight.

"Sam…" Jack almost seemed at a loss for words. His hand tenderly smoothed her hair behind her ear, then came to a rest on her cheek. "I am _so_ proud of you."

He leaned forward and Sam accepted the gentle kiss he placed on her lips.

"You're nothing short of amazing." Jack searched her face. "You do know that, right?"

"Jack…" Sam felt the heat rise in her cheeks.

"You're gonna be a great team leader."

"Well, I did learn from the best."

Jack shook his head. "I think there's a good chance I learned more from you than you ever did from me."

It was Sam's turn to disagree. "I highly doubt that."

Jack had taught her much from a military viewpoint, training her for the very position she'd been assigned that day. Sam had been through a lot since she'd joined SG-1 the first time. She'd moved up through the ranks, seen and done remarkable things, been to hell and back. She'd fallen in love.

For all the many other things Jack had taught her, he had also shown Sam a great deal about herself.

o-O-o

The first coherent thing Daniel thought as he woke was that he had an awful crook in his neck. The chair he was in would not suffice for the rest of the night. He stretched his stiff body as he stood. Maybe, if he was lucky, there was still an empty bed. As he spotted Jack stretched out asleep on the couch, with Sam tucked peacefully into his side, he knew that there was.

Daniel let his sleepy gaze rest on the couple. There had been something going on with Sam and Jack for years, never acted on or spoken about. Though he couldn't pinpoint the exact moment things had changed between them, it had been while imprisoned on Olympus. It had been gradual after she'd returned, and even now, their relationship was still developing.

He was happy for them, he truly was. It was a little strange at first, but Sam and Jack were always discreet. They weren't about numerous public displays of affection; there weren't constant blatant reminders they were in love. Sometimes Daniel almost forgot they were a couple.

He grabbed the blanket from the top of the couch and used it to cover his sleeping friends. Neither stirred, and Daniel smiled.

Jack and Sam were good together.

They always had been.

o-O-o

Sam lay awake, staring into the darkness. Jack's arms were around her, and she was pressed against the warm length of his body. She liked to be close to him; she enjoyed his presence. Whether they were sharing a lighthearted moment, he was comforting her in an offworld prison, or they were being strictly professional, it was simply better when Jack was there.

Sam snuggled deeper into his embrace. After she'd told him about her promotion, the two had fallen asleep together on the couch. She wished every night could be this way, with him so close. They'd shared a bed before, but only on nights that she'd needed him there, on nights when the most severe nightmares had assailed her. She'd used to go through it on her own, but Jack had convinced her it was okay to call. And Sam had, in tears, in panic, and at times, only to talk about the dreams. There had even been a few occasions he'd actually come over.

Jack had never pushed for anything beyond holding her through the night, but once they had gotten a little carried away. She remembered how terrified she had been as the memories assaulted her. Memories of another time and another man.

Sam hadn't had such a vivid flashback in a long time. But as Jack's lips had trailed down her neck and his hands had begun to roam, it had hit her. She'd fiercely pushed at him, but they were both enfolded in the bed sheets. She'd been trapped, and her terror had quickly and vastly multiplied. Then had come her pitiful cries, pleas that had never been any help in the past, but that had seemed to do some good as she'd felt his weight lift from her body.

Even after Jack had untangled himself from her, she'd still sobbed, her entire body quaking in fear. Sam longed for the kind of affection Jack had attempted to show her, but she evidently hadn't been ready for it. She knew it would take time, but her panic-stricken response to him had not been at all what she had expected.

Or Jack.

He had felt badly, apologizing again and again. Sam had assured him she, too, had let things go too far, and that it was just as much her fault. However, even after the flashback's hold on her had been broken, Sam's worries did not immediately dissipate. Her doubts about herself had boldly resurfaced. How could Jack ever want her?

He had soothingly reminded her he was there to love her, no matter what. His assurances had calmed her; he cared for her and he would always be there for her. Again Sam had found herself wondering how she was so fortunate to have Jack. Not many men would have stuck around, but Jack refused to budge.

Sam thoughtfully twisted her ring around her finger. That had been a few months prior, and their relationship was still progressing, and it was anything but traditional. She had certainly grown closer to Jack, close enough to desire becoming his wife. There was no doubt they loved each other and would gladly spend their lives together. They were certain they would get married one day. And though they were engaged and she'd freely accepted the ring he'd given her, they'd never set a date for a wedding.

To be married to Jack meant Sam would have to willingly relinquish control, to let him in in ways she'd refused to thus far. 'I do' meant she would be his, mind, body and soul, and by the same token, he would be hers. While Jack had his own tumultuous past, his reservations and scars weren't the same. Time was in his favor; it had dulled his pain. He would probably marry her that day if that was what she wanted, but Sam wasn't sure if she was there yet.

She exhaled into the dark. She had killed for Jack, she had sacrificed everything for him. When would she completely live for him?

o-O-o

Peering through the telescope on Jack's roof, Sam admired the vast night sky. She hadn't been able to sleep, her mind overflowing with thoughts of the man she'd left sleeping on the couch. Even out here, she couldn't dismiss him from her contemplations. The love of astronomy was something she and Jack shared. Sam smiled to herself as she continued to stargaze. They could be so incredibly different, yet at the same time, so very much the same.

"See anything good?"

Sam's head swiveled in the direction of Jack's voice. "Yes," she smiled as she appreciatively took in her handsome fiancé.

Jack sent her a lopsided grin before plopping down next to her. "What are you doing up so early?"

"What are _you _doing up?"

"I asked first."

"I was just thinking…" she trailed off mysteriously. Her gaze turned upwards, to the sky.

"When are you not?"

"I was thinking about you," Sam responded less cryptically, though her eyes were still diverted to the radiant stars above her.

"Oh?"

"Yeah." Sam leaned her head against Jack's shoulder. She could never make him understand how much she loved him. Grasping his hand, she laced her fingers through his.

Jack's dark eyes flicked downward, trying to read the woman resting against him. He squeezed her hand, concerned. "What's going on, Sam?"

She'd been doing a lot of thinking that night about her future with Jack. It wasn't fair to keep him in this continuous state of limbo. And at some point between lying in his embrace and gazing out into the infinite universe, Sam had come to the conclusion that _she _didn't want that for them anymore.

Sam knew what she wanted.

"How do you feel about August?"

"Well, peridot's the birthstone, you know."

"I didn't know, but besides that."

"It's nice. A little on the warm side, but nice."

"Good."

"If I may ask…why?"

"I thought it might be a nice time to get married."

She could feel his grip tighten around her hand.

"Married? As in _this_ August?"

"If that's okay with you."

There was a beat of silence.

"You sure? We can wait."

Sam ran her thumb along his. "Why? I'm sure I love you, that I want to be with you." Everything else would fall into place. They'd already spent too much time waiting. They'd almost lost their chance.

Jack nodded, and sensing Sam wasn't finished, he stayed silent.

"I've wasted so much time fearing...and doubting. I've second-guessed myself, let things control me that I shouldn't. But through it all, you've been there…you've _always_ been there for me. And you always will be." Her voice trembled as she tried to keep her emotions in check. She raised her face to Jack, her eyes glistening in the half-light. "That's all I really need to know."

Jack's warm gaze washed over her, his dark eyes examining her closely. Letting his free hand slide along Sam's jawbone, he tenderly caressed her face. "August it is," he whispered.

When he leaned in, Sam's lips eagerly met his. There was no trepidation in the kiss, only anticipation of what was to come. She'd once told Jack she didn't want any more regrets. And for the first time, she felt her conscience was free and clear. She would live her life as it should be lived…to the fullest. Without regrets.

When at last they drew apart, Sam let her lips brush across his one last time before Jack pulled her snuggly into his side. She wrapped her arms around him, resting her head against his chest.

As his fingers began to thread through the strands of her flaxen hair in a calming, methodic motion, Sam let out a contented sigh. Gentle hands and tender touches, kind words and soothing promises…these things banished her torturous and difficult past from her forethoughts and encompassed her in an indescribable serenity.

The tranquility of the moment and the steady, comforting motion of his hand in her hair was beginning to make her drowsy. Sam's eyelids drooped as she nodded off.

"Hey," Jack roused her with a gentle kiss to the top of her head. "It's going to be a beautiful sunrise."

Opening her eyes, Sam could see the first light of the day beginning to cut through the darkness. A faint glow, a mix of oranges and yellows, was creeping its way along the horizon.

It was fitting that Sam shared the sunrise with Jack. For so long, darkness had enshrouded her life. It had wrapped around her tightly, refusing to let her escape or to experience freedom from the fear and shame that had been instilled in her. She'd been immersed in a perpetual night.

When Sam had been rescued, her friends had been like a light in that darkness. She'd been obscured in the shadows for so long that it was difficult for them to draw her out, but they'd kept at it, steadfast beacons in the night. They had been there for her, whether she'd wanted it or not. Whether she'd fought them or run to them, they'd never given up on her. Sam would always be grateful for that.

She would never want to relive her time on Olympus, but faced with a similar scenario, she would make the same decision all over again. She would do it in a heartbeat if it meant it would save the lives of those she loved. Jack was alive and well, and Sam would never regret what had taken place on that fateful day. One moment in time had impacted her life in more ways than she could have ever imagined, but she wouldn't change it, even if she could.

It would take her years to get past what had happened, though Sam doubted she would ever entirely be liberated from it. But she was on the right path; fears from the past were becoming less prominent, and her hopes for the future were becoming brighter. Now she was beginning to see past the darkness that had threatened to engulf her. It no longer had the control over her it once did.

She would overcome it.

She would move beyond it.

Beyond the night.


End file.
